Are you struggling in your relationship to the point of asking yourself if it is even worth it?
A relationship is worth it if it contributes to your personal life and helps you reach your relationship goals. Relationships can be fun and exciting or challenging and frustrating. It is worth staying in a relationship where you are fulfilled and joyful. If you are struggling, it is worth taking the time to address the issues. Unhealthy and toxic relationships are not worth it most of the time. They bring you suffering and prevent you from having a healthy relationship with someone else.
In this article, you will learn about the benefits and disadvantages of a relationship, so you can reflect and make an educated decision if your relationship is worth it.
What Are Relationships?
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the definition of a relationship is:
- the way in which two or more people, groups, countries, etc., talk to, behave toward, and deal with each other
- a romantic or sexual friendship between two people
- the way in which two or more people or things are connected
People form romantic relationships to fulfil their emotional and sexual needs. The problems that couples face shortly after is while they fulfil some of the needs, other needs may become unfulfilled.
For example, you are attracted to someone and they are to you. You get together to satisfy the most immediate sexual need. Then, you may develop a connection and decide to get to know each other better. In the process, you may develop deeper feelings and after some time move in together.
At this point, you are fulfilling your needs for sharing, companionship, understanding, etc. At the same time, living together comes with its advantages and disadvantages. While the advantages are obvious for you at a time, you may ignore the disadvantages. These may include a lack of personal space, having to consider another person with every decision you make, and so on.
New couples tend to overlook these limitations and even ignore them. However, with time, these limitations lead to unfulfilled needs and you may end up dissatisfied in this relationship.
Over time, your lives become increasingly intertwined and you start to depend on each other more and more.
At some point, the unfulfillment becomes real and intense and you may consider ending your relationship. By now, you are likely to grow distant and have become stressed from the overwhelming amount of arguments and unresolved problems.
So, is it all worth it?
Advantages of Relationships
- Being with someone
- Physical intimacy
- You can share your interests, values and beliefs with someone you trust
- You get help and support with your personal and relationship goals
- Putting your resources together to achieve the same goal
- Moving in together can be a lot of fun.
Disadvantages of Relationships
-If your relationship becomes serious, one of you will have to move. This means potentially leaving behind your family, friends, house, etc.
- Unmet expectations
- Dealing with someone else’s baggage
- Taking each other for granted
- Emotional distance when you need your partner whom you rely on.
- Lack of physical intimacy, which may lead to cheating
- Feeling deprived of physical closeness can lead to jealousy and distrust
- People who act on this impulse and cheat on their partner tend to regret it afterwards
- Once the trust is broken, it is hard to rebuild
- Limited freedom to travel and explore the world (unless you do it together)
- Arguments and fights
- Misunderstandings are easy to arise and hard to solve
- You are also closed to any opportunity to be with someone physically if you are in an exclusive relationship
- If a relationship lasts a long time, there’s a chance it’ll get boring, or your feelings may start to fade away.
There are many other problems couples may have in a relationship. But it doesn’t mean that all relationships have to face these problems.
If you understand what relationships are and how to handle them, you can prevent these problems. When you have a healthy relationship with understanding and clear communication, you can resolve the issues as they arise.
Is It Worth Starting a Relationship?
It is worth starting a relationship if you have an emotional connection, understanding and common relationship goals.
Living together is a whole different thing, for which you really should take the time to prepare.
You can start a romantic relationship with someone you already know, recently met or whom you have never met, like in an online relationship.
If you are starting a new relationship online, you have an opportunity to meet someone from a different culture. Anyone with the internet can become your partner. It is as amazing as it is overwhelming.
With online dating, you have an option to meet a person you wouldn’t otherwise meet. Although if you believe in destiny, you don’t need the internet.
Whether you are about to start a new relationship or are in one, take a step back to reflect on your expectations from a potential partner.
Is It Worth Being in a Relationship?
Being in a relationship is worth it if it’s a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship is when partners have trust, understanding, and effective communication to share their feelings and solve their issues.
Being in a relationship can be a lot of fun, or it can be hard work.
If it works for you and your partner, then great. But if it doesn’t, it can get complicated very quickly and may not be worth the trouble.
Is It Worth Staying in a Relationship?
Staying in a relationship can be worth it if you get enough personal space to take care of your self-development, life goals and ambitions.
You should create the time to catch up with your personal life, go out with friends and do what you feel like doing.
Unfortunately, partners tend to forget their personal lives in the name of a relationship. However, such sacrifice is unhealthy and leads to a toxic relationship.
Such a relationship can become a struggle. And when you see your relationship as a struggle, it is almost impossible to see the good parts.
So, if all you get from a relationship is struggle and suffering and still trying to keep it going, you should ask yourself why and if it’s worth it for you.
You have two options: make your relationship work or let it go.
If you need help making your relationship work, check out our workbook. It will help you reflect on your relationship and how you can improve it.
To decide if a relationship is worth it for you must weigh all the pros and cons of having a relationship. Does your relationship contribute to your life in more ways than it limits you?
The obvious downside of being in a relationship is the lack of personal space, less freedom to socialise and do your hobbies.
You can have a lot of fun being in a relationship, but if you are serious about this relationship, you need to have good communication. It helps with trust, intimacy and understanding.
During your relationship is essential you maintain effective communication and emotional connection with your partner.
With effective communication, you can express your feelings and needs, see each other’s perspectives and address the issues before they become problems.
Every person can benefit from a certain type of relationship at a particular stage in life.
A healthy relationship has a balance of having personal time/space away from your partner and enjoying the time and activities you do together. You can use your personal time for self-development and your time together to have fun and develop your relationship.
But when your relationship brings you more sadness and frustration than happiness and fulfilment, you should ask yourself if it is really worth it for you.
Help and Advice with Your Relationship
- Don’t stop getting to know each other
- Express your feelings, needs, thoughts, doubts and concerns
- Take time to hear your partner and understand their point of view on your relationship or any other topic
- Talk about your issues as soon as they arise
- Avoid ignoring your problems and suppressing your feelings
- Consider an open relationship if you are struggling with your sex life, as long as you are on the same page
- Always be honest!
Relationship Coaching for Trust Issues
If you are having trust issues in your relationship and need professional advice, we are here to help! Check out our coaching options.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why relationships are not worth it?
Having to deal with someone else’s baggage
Being limited in your freedom
Considering another person in all your decisions
Is dating worth the effort?
If dating is fun, it is worth it, regardless of whether or not you will have a serious relationship.
Are relationships worth the pain?
Relationships should be joyful and enjoyable. A healthy relationship contributes to your life. If you are suffering, it means your relationship is unhealthy. And, unless you find a way to address your issues, it can become toxic. At which point, you need to ask yourself if this is how you want to live your life.
Are relationships worth the heartbreak?
Depending on the reason for the heartbreak, you can always learn from this relationship and do better next time.
Are difficult relationships worth it?
The harder the relationship, the bigger the stakes. If you are working towards something meaningful, some struggle may be justified. However, you can address the challenging part to see if your relationship can become enjoyable.
Is a relationship worth it?
If you have feelings for each other, starting a relationship is worth it. After you get to know each other better, you can reassess. This is a question only you can answer. But let me ask you something else. Are you having strong feelings for this person? Are you excited to get to know them better? Does this person bring love into your life? If so, give it a go.
Is it a good idea to have a relationship?
A relationship is a good idea when it helps you fulfil your personal and relationship goals.
Is it worth starting a relationship?
When you are starting a relationship, it is hard to tell if it will be worth it. Only when you get to share enough time and many experiences you can retrospectively tell if this relationship was worth it.
How to tell if a relationship is worth it?
You can tell that a relationship is worth it when you are enjoying this relationship and achieving your personal and relationship goals.
Is a relationship right for you?
Each type of relationship suits certain people based on their goals, preferences and situation. A relationship is a personal experience, and only you can decide if it is worth it or not.