Before Starting a Relationship

Before Starting a Relationship

Are you looking for a partner or about to start a relationship?

Before you start looking for a partner:

  • Ask yourself, who is your ideal partner and what do you want from a relationship?
  • Knowing what you’re looking for in a partner will make it easier to choose the right one
  • Understand your values, beliefs, and preferences
  • Set some goals for your relationship
  • Clarify for yourself what you want from this relationship
  • Decide if you want a fling or a more serious relationship.

To help you get started with your relationship, let’s have a look at some things you can talk about and questions you should discuss with your potential partner.

Starting a Relationship

You just met someone special. This someone touches you in all the right ways, and you would love to get to know them better.

Starting a relationship with someone you just met can be a lot of fun.

It’s natural to have questions about whether this relationship can work and how long it can last. Getting to know a new person is exciting. Just remember to enjoy more and worry less.

It’s normal to have doubts, but you should discuss them freely with the person you like.


Why Start a Relationship?

Starting a relationship allows you to connect with another person at a deeper level. The journey of getting to know someone has three stages:

  1. Meeting the person and deciding to start a relationship.
  2. Getting to know them.
  3. Taking the next step to a more serious relationship.

You met a person who picked your interest. You are considering the possibility of a relationship. You know you like them, but you also want to know how they feel about you.


How to Prepare for a Relationship

Starting a relationship is exciting and adventurous. But, before you start a relationship, there are a few things you should consider.

  1. Understand yourself.
  2. Reflect on what you want from your life, your partner and your relationship.
  3. Find a person who shares your values and beliefs.
  4. Talk to them to see if they want the same things as you from the relationship.
  5. When you meet a special someone, talk about your feelings and intentions. Being open and honest with each other is a strong foundation for your relationship. Once you know that your feelings are mutual and you want the same things, it’s time to see if you can make your relationship work.
  6. Acknowledge your feelings, regardless of it being sadness or joy.

What Are Your Expectations from a Relationship?

If you want to make your relationship work, learn how to manage your hopes and expectations. For your relationship to be successful, you must set specific goals, make a plan and create a timeline.

When you are getting to know your potential partner, there may be a temptation to be liked and please them in anything they want.

However, you should be honest and show your true self. If your potential partner is comfortable and happy with who you are, there is a chance to have a healthy and happy relationship.

Spend some time thinking about what you want from this relationship and make sure both of you have common relationship expectations.


What Can You Do Before Starting a Relationship?

So, you’ve met a special someone and talked about your feelings and intentions. Being open and honest allows you to build a strong foundation for your relationship.

  • Think of some ideas of where and how often it would be fun to meet.
  • Talk about how you would like it to be in the ideal world.
  • Before starting a serious relationship, have fun and be creative. Enjoy your conversations and let your relationship develop naturally.

How to Bring up Starting a Relationship

While your feelings are the only thing that matters when you have just met someone, there are things you can do before starting a relationship:

  • Get clear about what exactly you are feeling (excitement, physical attraction, intellectual interest, etc.).
  • Share your feelings openly and honestly with your special someone.
  • Ask them how they feel about you.
  • Do not expect them to tell you what you want to hear.
  • Be ok with everything they say.
  • Express what you want from this relationship (a fling, an open relationship, a friendship, or start a romantic relationship).
  • Ask them what they want. You may find that both of you want the same thing, which would be great.
  • Do not be afraid of disappointment or sadness if it is not the case. Honesty is more valuable than disappointment, so respect it and be grateful when your friend shares their true feelings with you.
  • Learn how the other person feels about you. It’s ok to feel joy or sadness, but do not give it too much importance.

When you bring up a relationship with someone you like, you should be as honest and authentic as possible. Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship.

If you have positive feelings, you are on the right track. If not, take a moment to reassess. Just be mindful and distinguish temporary emotions from your deeper ‘gut’ feelings.

Talking about your feelings is a great way to start a healthy relationship.

The book, Emotions Revealed by Paul Ekman can help you better understand your feelings and emotions. It will help you recognise your partner’s emotions. So you can create a loving relationship from the very beginning.

If you are looking for a partner who shares your values and beliefs, check out our workbook. It will help you figure out what you want from a relationship and your ideal partner.

A popular conversation starters card game is a fun way to talk about topics you might find tricky or awkward to bring up yourself.

The only way to know if a relationship is worth having is by getting to know each other. If you feel that you have a lot in common and your goals and values align, give it a go.


How to Start a Relationship?

  1. Start by checking how you feel
  2. Ask yourself if a relationship is for you
  3. Make a plan of how your relationship is going to work
  4. Assess your expectations from this relationship
  5. Ask your partner how they feel about a relationship
  6. Ask your partner about their expectations from your relationship
  7. Set some boundaries

Before starting a relationship, consider your expectations.

What are you trying to achieve?

Do you want a fling, or are you looking to build a family with a life partner?

That said, be mindful of making plans, creating different scenarios and worrying about it not working out. Before you know it, you start living in the future.

Get to know each other first, enjoy the present experience. As your relationship develops, your feelings will change. If you stay in touch with your feelings, you will know what to do as your relationship develops. For now, note how you feel and have fun with this new adventure. Worrying about the future takes you away from enjoying the present.

The only thing you need to consider when starting a relationship with someone you just met is how you feel about this person.


How to Start a Relationship with Someone You Just Met

1. Recognise the fun part of being in a relationship.

When you met, you must’ve had fun. You enjoyed each other’s company.

See things for what they are.

2. Share how you feel about each other and your relationship

Tell your companion what you enjoy about being together.

Ask how they feel about you. It is good to know if your feelings are mutual.

3. Share how each of you sees your relationship

Maybe you’ve had a fun time and are ready to move on. But you may have stronger feelings, which you would like to explore.

Just check in to see that you are on the same page.

4. Decide what you want from your relationship

If you are on the same page, start exploring your relationship.

5. Talk about physical intimacy in your relationship

Before starting a relationship, you should discuss how important physical intimacy is for each of you.

If one of you needs physical intimacy more than the other, then being exclusive will be more difficult for that person.

6. Brainstorm ideas of where and how often can meet

You can make your visits more exciting by planning various fun activities and travelling to explore different places. Imagine how you would like it to be in an ideal world. Before starting a relationship, have fun and be creative.

7. Agree to always share your feelings, doubts and concerns

As your relationship develops, you will have challenges. These challenges will test your relationship and question your commitment. As long as you have good communication, you’ll be able to work things out and make the best decisions that work for both of you.

If you are looking for a partner who shares your values and beliefs, take a look at this workbook. It will help you get clear on what you want from a relationship and who your special someone is.


Starting a Relationship With a Friend

Being friends with someone means you already have a relationship. So what you might be asking yourself is: do your feelings have a romantic nature.

It is normal to be afraid to bring up the possibility of a romantic relationship because it may destroy your friendship.

But you owe it to yourself to acknowledge how you feel. It is OK to share your feelings with your friend.

They might feel the same but are worried about bringing it up. And if your friend does not feel the same, that is also ok.

You should avoid feeling rejected. Everyone has feelings. And if they can share them with you, that’s a true friendship.


How to Start a Relationship Online

When you start a relationship, you should be honest and open-minded.

You want certain things from this relationship, and so does the other person. All you need to do is find out if you want the same things. Be honest about your feelings, and remember to share them.

The challenge in starting a relationship online is expressing yourself in a way that the other person can understand you.

If you hide your thoughts and feelings from the beginning, when will you be ready to share them?

Give this relationship a chance. If you agree on what you want from this relationship, brainstorm fun ideas on how it will work.

This couple’s journal is a great way to bring life and creativity into your relationship.


Questions to Ask Before Starting a Relationship

Questions to Ask Yourself

  • Recognise how you are feeling right now
  • How are you feeling about having a relationship?
  • How does your partner feel about having a relationship?
  • What do you both want and expect from this relationship?
  • Do you want a friendship, a casual relationship, or something serious?
  • How often does each of you like to be physically intimate?
  • Are you ok with a relationship to last a few months while you get to know each other?

Questions to Ask Your Potential Partner

  • Ask your special someone about their feelings.
  • Ask what they want from being with you.
  • Do they want to have a relationship with you?
  • What type of relationship do they prefer?
  • What type of relationship you are looking for?
  • Who would be your perfect partner?
  • Are they ok with a temporary relationship to get to know each other?

If you’re ever feeling a bit lost, give these questions a try and see if they help!

  • Are you having strong feelings for this person?
  • Are you excited to get to know them better?
  • Does this person bring love into your life?
  • How and how often do you prefer to keep in touch?

If you have positive feelings, you are on the right track. If not, take a moment to reassess. Just be mindful and distinguish temporary emotions from your deeper ‘gut’ feelings.

Here is a popular conversation starters card game. It’s a fun way to talk about questions that you might find tricky or awkward to bring up by yourself. Playing with physical cards while on a phone or a video chat will bring something tangible to your relationship.


Conclusion

Starting a relationship with someone you just met can be fun and exciting. It’s an opportunity to make a new friend or build a long-term romantic relationship.

In this article, we have covered the most important things to consider, before starting a relationship.

If you like the person and the feeling is mutual, starting a relationship is worth it.

Your relationship may develop into a friendship, or you might have a family and grow old together.

As the relationship develops, you learn new things about each other.

When you meet a new person, it is a clean slate (apart from the baggage each of you carries).

With time, you get to know this baggage. As a result, you may grow fonder or call it off.

A failure to bring up your baggage in a healthy way or ignore it completely is a recipe for disaster.

If this happens, you may end up building a relationship with someone other than who you think the other person is. Being with someone who is not truly themselves is a waste of your time.


Frequently Asked Questions

What to do before starting a relationship?

Before starting a relationship, get clear about what type of relationship you want. What are your expectations about your potential partner and relationship?

Is it worth starting a relationship?

If you have a strong connection, it is worth giving your relationship a go. Only by getting to know each other, you will know whether your values, beliefs, goals and expectations align. Then, you can see if being together is worth it.

What should I know before starting a relationship?

Before starting a relationship, you should know yourself and have a clear idea of what you are looking for in a partner and a relationship.

How to talk about starting a relationship?

First, ask a few indirect questions to establish if a relationship is on the table. If they like the idea and are open to trying it out, you should get a hint. Express your feelings and intentions to the person you like. Ask if they feel the same and want the same thing from this relationship.

How do you start a relationship?

• Get to know each other
• Share your feelings
• Decide if you want the same things and have the same goals
To help you with all the above, learn about effective communication in this article.

Is a relationship worth it?

If you have feelings for each other, starting a relationship is worth it. After you get to know each other better, then you can reassess.

How do you know if a relationship is serious?

You know your relationship is serious when you and your partner can see your future together in the long term.

How do you know your relationship is not working?

You are no longer enjoying being in this relationship.
You are feeling sad more often than you are excited.
Problems are accumulating, and you feel overwhelmed.

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