You may find yourself in a relationship that is less than exciting. So, is there anything you can do about it?
A boring relationship can be a daunting experience. While some people like their relationship uneventful, overall a boring relationship can really put a damper on your life. Long-term couples are the ones that find themselves facing boredom and monotony. As such, it is really worth taking some time and making an effort to keep your relationship exciting so you can enjoy being together.
In this article, you will learn what causes a boring relationship, the signs you are in one and what you can do to make your relationship more interesting.
What Does It Mean to Have a Boring Relationship?
Here’s the definition of boring, according to the Merriam-webster dictionary:
- : causing weariness and restlessness through lack of interest
- : causing boredom
- : tiresome
When your relationship turns boring it means you are no longer doing things you enjoy together. Not you are keeping your relationship exciting and interesting.
Why Relationships Get Boring?
If you feel that your relationship is getting boring, it means that you are feeling bored in this relationship.
There are several reasons why couples feel bored in a relationship.
- Your feelings have changed for your partner
- You have different interests and you stop enjoying each others interests
- Lack of meaningful communication
- No clear plan for your future together
- Not spending enough time together
- Being in a relationship for a long time
- Ignoring each other
- Neglecting each others needs
- Feeling unsatisfied in the relationship
- Feeling unfulfilled in your life
- Lack of control of your life or relationship
- Lack of diversity of the activities you do
- Your relationship has become a routine and the things you do together are repetitive
- Feeling stuck in the monotony
A relationship itself is what you make of it. For example, you may feel bored in your relationship, while your partner might feel okay with it.
So the real question is, why are you feeling bored with your relationship? In other words, what makes it boring for you?
How a Boring Relationship Affects You?
Boredom can lead to lethargy, lack of motivation and send you into anxiety and depression. Boredom can also affect your self-esteem and you can stop caring for yourself as much as you used to.
When you are bored you experience:
However, boredom can also be used in a positive way, as a motivator to create something. You need to be careful not to fall into addictive behaviours on the search for excitement.
Being bored in your relationship now and then, it’s perfectly normal. It’s only a sign for you to do things a bit differently or try new activities with your partner. However, if you ignored the first signals, the boredom will continue and you will feel less connected to your partner. You will also feel less motivated to try new things to break the boredom cycle.
Signs of a Boring Relationship
- You have a lack of interest in your partner or your relationship
- You or your partner have no interest of planning for the future
- You don’t enjoy the time together
- You stop doing the things that made you feel connected with your partner
- You have a lot awkward silence moments together
- Your relationship has become a routine
- You or your partner are doing things for your relationship out of obligation
- You are doing the same things all the time
- Your sex life is lacking some spice
- You or your partner are nitpicking
- You or your partner are considering ending the relationship
How to Fix a Boring Relationship
To fix a boring relationship, try to understand why you’re feeling bored in your relationship.
Your feeling of boredom can stem from the fact that you are no longer interested in this relationship. When you start a relationship, you’re very excited about getting to know a new person you like. If you feel bored in your relationship, that means the opposite.
To help you figure out why you are feeling bored in your relationship ask yourself:
- If you’re bored of being with your partner.
- If you’re bored of meaningless conversations.
- If you’re no longer interested in talking to this person.
Once you understand the reason for your boredom, you can act accordingly. When you understood the reasons for you being bored in a relationship, could you share it with your partner? You don’t need to work it out on your own. As long as you’re in a relationship, both of you can help each other to work things out.
Some things you can do are:
- Change your routine
- Do more activities together
- Remind yourself and your partner why they are important in your life
- Make a plan on things you would like to do
- Plan a future together and start making efforts to get there.
- Try new hobbies
- Create a more fun routine
In general, make the effort to have fun together. For example, book a cooking class, watch a TV series from start to finish and talk about it, go to the cinema, have walks outdoors, go to the gym together, try a new exercise class.
You can also participate in your partner’s hobbies, learn different things together so you have things in common to talk about.
If any of this helps and you want to improve your relationship consider professional help. For now, lets take a look at a few things you can do to stop your relationship from getting boring…
How to stop a relationship from getting boring?
- Focus on keeping your conversations to the point
- Avoid boring and meaningless conversations; find something exciting to share
- Explore different ways to feel connected
- Try new hobbies
- Do new activities alone and together. Dedicate specific time to do these activities.
- Make a handmade gift to your partner. For example, send your partner an occasional handwritten letter with photographs of yourself doing something fun. This type of association will be a nice reminder of the two of you having a great time together. Also consider activity gifts and care packages. This type of gifts can speak a thousand words, especially when they carry a personal message.
Ending a Boring Relationship
When to End a Boring Relationship?
Once you figured out why you are feeling bored in your relationship. It’s time to share your thoughts with your partner. When you share your thoughts and feelings with your partner, they might have a few ideas on how to spice things up a little bit.
However, you may very well discover that regardless of what you do, your relationship just isn’t working. If this is the case, it may be time to end it, and that’s okay. One thing you should do is to make all your decisions about your relationship together with your partner.
How to End a Boring Relationship
- Recognise that your relationship isn’t as exciting as it used to be
- Share your thoughts and feelings with your partner
- Ask them if they are happy with the relationship or what would they change
- Reflect on your relationship together and try to find that made it exciting and where it all go wrong
- You may well decide to end your relationship. Knowing what went wrong in your relationship will help you to make better decisions in the future.
Moving on from a Boring Relationship
To have an exciting relationship, your life needs to be interesting enough. When you have a lot of fun things going on in your personal life, you can share them with your partner.
So, once you are single you can reflect on your past relationships to see what you could have done differently to make it more exciting. While, you cannot go back in time and change things. You can take it as a lesson to know how to stop your future relationships from getting boring and keeping it exciting from the very beginning.
How Do You Know When It Is time to End a Relationship?
When your relationship gets boring, try to understand why you feel bored in this relationship. Sometimes it’s a matter of managing your communication and spicing things up a little bit. Other times, boredom is a sign that your relationship isn’t working.
Suppose you find yourself in a boring relationship. In this case, you may want to try to spice up your relationship by doing fun things together and working on your communication.
Sometimes, a feeling of boredom in relationship can be a sign that your relationship isn’t working. In this case, you should talk to your partner about your feelings, and together come up with a solution.
- If you value your relationship try to find the way to make it exciting with some ideas we describe earlier.
- Your boredom may be a result of your lack of interest in each other and your relationship. In this case, it may be some underlying problems that you need to address.
- If you don’t know how to identify the problems and struggle to find a solutions, get in touch to see how we can help.
You may find that taking some time apart will give you a different perspective on your relationship. You will gain more clarity to decide if it’s worth staying together.
Avoid keeping your thoughts and feelings to yourself, because they will just cause you more pain. As long as you’re in a relationship, discuss it with your partner and make all your decisions together. Even ending the relationship is a joined decision.
Help and Advice for a Boring Relationship
Tips on Dealing with a Boring Relationship
- Make your personal lives interesting and exciting
- Discover different activities that both of you enjoy
- Try new things in your sex life
- Explore different places
- Talk about interesting topics
If you don’t know how to deal with doubts and you need professional help and advice, get in touch and we’ll be happy to help!
Frequently Asked Questions
Do relationships get boring?
Overtime everyday life can take over and relationships tend to lack excitement. Unless you make a conscious effort to keep things interesting.
How to not get bored in a relationship?
• Spice up your sex life
• Find interesting topics to discuss
• Find common interests and try new activities that both of you enjoy
• Explore new places
• Learn to appreciate each other and don’t take each other for granted
Do long term relationships get boring?
The longer you are together, the more you get used to each other. You stop making as much effort on your relationship and without it, it can get stale and boring.
Do boring relationships last?
Boring relationships can last for a long time but it doesn’t make them happy, healthy or even worthwhile.
How to avoid boring relationships?
Try to maintain the excitement from the very beginning of your relationship. The moment you notice getting boring change things and do something fun together.
Why do healthy relationships feel boring?
Relationships can get boring because of unresolved issues and problems. At the same time, a lack of effort to make it interesting can also result in it becoming boring overtime. If your personal lives are boring and you don’t have enthusiasm or excitement then that is the energy you will bring into your relationship.