Emotional Connection

Emotional Connection

Do you feel like you are lacking an emotional connection with your partner?

An emotional connection with your partner tells you that you are together. In a long-term relationship, it is easy to lose emotional connection. When you do, your relationship becomes boring, and you may lose interest in being together. Without the emotional connection, you no longer enjoy your relationship and merely co-exist. To stay emotionally connected with your partner, you need to keep developing trust and good communication.

In this article, we will explore the meaning of emotional connection and the role it plays in your relationship.

What Is Emotional Connection

Let’s have a look at what being connected means according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary:

  1. Joined or linked together
  2. Having the parts or elements logically linked together
  3. Related by blood or marriage
  4. Having social, professional, or commercial relationships
  5. Having the property that any two of its points can be joined by a line completely contained in the set
    Incapable of being separated into two or more closed disjoint subsets

Emotional connection is a feeling of closeness you have with someone. When you have emotional connection, you feel seen, heard, understood and valued.

Emotional Connection vs Physical Connection

Some people think that physical connection means sex. However, physical connection involves closeness, touching, kissing, sex.

Emotional connection is the feeling of closeness to your partner. It’s an intangible bond you have with your partner.

Emotional intimacy is the connection between people. Physical intimacy is the physical connection at a personal level. A healthy romantic relationship needs a balance of physical and emotional connection.

A breakdown in any of these makes a relationship unhealthy and may lead to many problems and struggles.

Being physically and emotionally connected in a relationship are equally important. Having a romantic relationship where you cannot be physically intimate with your partner isn’t healthy.

A lack of emotional connection leads to emotional distance, an unhealthy relationship and a breakup.

When you feel emotionally distant from your partner, you no longer want to be with them. In this case, if you stay together, you risk being in an unhealthy relationship.

Taking a break from each other can help you and your partner reflect on your relationship to see if you can and want to make it work.

Physical intimacy can also help create a stronger emotional connection bond.

Emotional Connection vs Attachment

The main difference between emotional connection and attachment is conscious awareness.

Emotional connection in a relationship is a reciprocated experience where you and your partner feel connected.

As a result, your needs for trust, understanding, sharing and companionship are met. With emotional connection comes a desire for physical intimacy.

Attachment, on the other hand, is more of an unconscious experience. It is something you develop after being together for a while.

With attachment comes a lack of appreciation where you and your partner start taking each other for granted. Unfortunately, this can manifest as a lack of care.

In this way, attachment can have the opposite effect from the emotional connection.

The needs that are satisfied when you feel emotionally connected, are now unfulfilled.

This unfulfillment and dissatisfaction lead to conflicts, arguments and an unhealthy relationship.

So, while emotional connection brings you and your partner closer, attachment leads to unhealthy behaviours and a toxic relationship.

Emotional Connection with Yourself

The more you get to know yourself, the easier it would be for you to connect with others.

Revealing our thoughts and beliefs can be difficult. At the same time, it can create a more meaningful connection. Opening up can be scary because it leaves you feeling vulnerable.

In a healthy relationship, opening up to your partner should be effortless. And, in return, you can expect empathy and understanding.

Opening up and sharing will encourage your partner to share more about themselves. It will help improve your communication, and your emotional connection will grow.

When you voice your opinions, dreams, fears, expectations, you are showing your true self.

To stay emotionally connected with your partner, you need to be aware of the emotional connection with yourself.

Why Is Emotional Connection Important?

Intimacy is essential in a romantic relationship. Without it, your relationship doesn’t have a future.

The level of connection you have with your partner can show how healthy your relationship is.

As your relationship develops, you start as acquaintances who connect at some level. You can be friends who like spending time together. You may also create a romantic relationship, provided you have romantic feelings towards each other.

An emotional connection is just as important as a physical connection in a romantic relationship.

Emotional connection helps you develop a deep and strong bond with your partner. And it will keep your relationship healthy for the long run.

Signs of Emotional Connection

Your relationship is healthy when you have a deep bond of emotional connection, as well as physical intimacy.

Here are some signs your emotional connection is healthy:

  • You trust each other
  • You are physically affectionate to one another
  • You have fun together
  • You express your feelings and desires openly
  • You feel supported in all circumstances by each other

No Emotional Connection

The lack of emotional connection in a relationship can come as a result of:

  • Communication breakdown
  • Lack of understanding
  • Lack of common interests
  • Lack of shared values
  • Lack of excitement
  • A boring relationship
  • Personal insecurities
  • Fear of intimacy
  • Cheating

These also may be signs that your relationship is in trouble, and if you want to save it, you should do something soon. This something can be reflecting on your relationship together or taking some time apart.

You may also decide to end your relationship, which is fine, as long as it is an amicable decision and you recognise that it is best for both of you.

How to Build Emotional Connection

  1. Work on improving your communication
  2. Express openly and freely with each other
  3. Talk about your feelings
  4. Share your thoughts and ideas
  5. Improve your physical intimacy
  6. Make your time together fun, exciting and spontaneous with a little bit of creativity and an element of surprise
  7. Spend more time together.

An emotional connection is essential to make your relationship work. You can maintain an emotional connection with effective communication.

A simple tweak in communication can help you avoid arguments and bad feelings. You can improve your communication with your partner, provided both of you are willing to dedicate some time and effort.

Here are a few tips to help you get started:

  • Take turns to speak
  • Listen carefully
  • Repeat what the other was saying to make sure you understood correctly
  • Aim to see each other’s point of view

The clearer you can express yourself through words, the easier it will be for your partner to understand what you mean.

With practice, you will find that expressing your feelings and desires is a great way to build an emotional connection.


Emotional connection is what makes a relationship worthwhile.

A healthy relationship brings joy into your life and fulfils you in many ways. Such a relationship is built on trust and understanding.

Trust – is taking a chance assuming that what the person is saying is what they are planning to do. Understanding – is something that can come easy in some relationships, while it may require a bit of work in others.

A lack of emotional connection can be a sign of an unhealthy relationship. But does it mean you have to break up immediately? Not necessarily.

If you and your partner do not feel an emotional connection, it is worth talking about it to figure out the cause for this disconnect.

If the problem is poor communication, you can sort it out, provided both of you are willing to make an effort. However, if your romantic feelings have faded, then you may consider ending your relationship.

Even if you decide to break up, you might as well do it on good terms and help each other learn from this relationship.

Help and Advice with Having Emotional Connection in Your Relationship

Tips to Improve Emotional Connection

  • Work on your communication.
  • Take time to formulate your messages so that they are easy to understand.
  • Take time to listen to your partner and hear what they want to share with you.
  • If you have any doubts or insecurities or your feelings change, share them with your partner as soon as you become aware of them.
  • Make your relationship more spontaneous, exciting, and fun.
  • If you are struggling to keep emotionally connected reassess your relationship with your partner.

If you don’t know how to have emotional connection in your relationship and need professional help and advice, we’ll be happy to help! Check out our coaching options here.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is emotional connection important in a relationship?

Emotional connection is a foundation of a healthy relationship. It is what lets you know you are in a relationship. The moment you lose this connection, your relationship is in jeopardy.

How to increase emotional connection with my partner?

Emotional connection is a combination of romantic feelings and understanding. While romantic feelings are slightly more intricate, understanding is relatively straightforward. You can develop a better understanding by improving your communication. Good communication – is when you and your partner can express yourselves freely and openly without reservations or fears of being judged. Another aspect of effective communication is your ability to take the time and focus to hear each other out. For that, you need to be interested in how your partner feels and what they have to say. This, of course, goes both ways.

Can you rebuild an emotional connection?

You can try to rebuild an emotional connection, but there are no guarantees that it will feel the same, depending on the reason it broke, to begin with. If the issue was stress or breakdown in communication, you can take some time to relax and work on your communication. However, if romantic feelings have faded, the best you can expect is friendship. While it may be emotionally challenging, separation is still better than staying in a toxic relationship.

Can you develop emotional connection?

You can develop an emotional connection as long as you are attracted to each other and are interested in getting to know one another better.

Does an emotional connection mean love?

Emotional connection is something we can define and agree on. Love, on the other hand, is more intricate and requires a deeper discussion to get on the same page.

Is emotional connection mutual?

Emotional experience is personal, while the connection is mutual. So, in this sense, emotional connection is an emotional experience that both people have towards each other.

Why do I lack emotional connection?

A lack of emotional connection comes from poor communication, a lack of romantic feelings, or both.

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