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Many long-distance couples struggle to maintain a healthy relationship. While being away from someone you love is challenging emotionally and practically, it doesn’t have to be all struggle suffering. Today, you will learn how to have a healthy long-distance relationship in eight simple steps.
- Openly share your feelings and concerns
- Build and maintain trust in your long-distance relationship
- Stay emotionally connected
- Discuss what you want and expect from a long-distance relationship
- Make a plan to achieve personal and relationship goals
- Agree on when you will achieve your personal and relationship goals
- Enjoy your time together
- Enjoy extra space when you are apart
In this article, we will walk through each of these steps and give you some practical tips for you to enjoy your relationship.
1. Openly Share Your Feelings and Concerns
The key to maintaining and making a long-distance relationship work is open and honest communication. In a long-distance relationship is essential to have clear and open communication with your partner.
In a regular relationship, you can talk to your partner face to face, see their facial expression, body language, and the change in behaviour. All of these things can help you understand what your partner is thinking and feeling at the time.
However, in a long-distance relationship, your communication is written and verbal, only via text messages, phone calls, and video calls. While you can see your partners face during video calls, you still don’t get the same feeling that you do when talking to them face-to-face.
That’s why you must take care when writing text messages. Text messages usually have a lot of abbreviations, misspellings, and lack of punctuation, which makes them really hard to read and even harder to understand. Lack of understanding can lead to unnecessary confusion and arguments.
If you would like to learn more about communication in a long-distance relationship, take a look at this article.
Here are some communication tips to help you get started:
- Discuss different topics – from casual to more sensitive
- When you talk to your long-distance partner, discuss positive things that are happening in your life
- Avoid talking about things that you cannot control, like your inability to be together
- Avoid long and boring conversations
- Communicate for short periods, but make your conversations interesting and fun
- Communicate with each other regularly, but not too much
- Make your individual lives fun and interesting, so you can share exciting things that happen in your life with your long-distance partner during your conversations
- Learn to communicate honestly and openly with your partner
- Share your thoughts and feelings with your partner
- Take time to listen to your partner’s feelings and needs
- Discuss your feelings and needs with your partner
- Be open to your partner and allow each other to express without fear of judgement
- Talk about the things that you are happy about in your relationship and those that bother you
Open communication in a long-distance relationship means that both you and your partner are welcomed to express your thoughts, feelings, concerns, and doubts. You should be able to do so without worrying about how the other person will interpret it and without the fear of judgement. Here is our step by step guide that will help you with your communication.
2. Build and Maintain Trust in Your Long-Distance Relationship
To maintain a healthy long-distance relationship you need to have trust. Without trust, your doubts and insecurities will become overwhelming and at some point may destroy your relationship.
Having trust in a long-distance relationship requires good communication and complete understanding of how both of you feel about being in this relationship.
When you can’t see your partner every day, and you don’t always know what they’re doing and who they are with, it’s normal that you would want to ask them.
If you constantly question your partner’s whereabouts and the company they keep, they can perceive it as a sign of distrust. This can create unnecessary problems and arguments that will strain your relationship. To get ahead of these and other common problems in a long-distance relationship, take a look at this article.
When you trust someone, you are essentially taking a chance. To keep trust in a long-distance relationship, you should:
- Have open communication
- Address your personal insecurities
- Express your doubts and concerns
- Be open and honest about your feelings and concerns
If you would like a practical help with addressing the trust issues in your relationship, consider this workbook.
3. Stay Emotionally Connected
A romantic relationship implies having physical intimacy, which in a long-distance relationship isn’t an option. At least not regularly. When couples try to maintain a long-distance relationship for a long period, they end up feeling stressed and sexually frustrated. This ultimately leads to arguments.
With time, this frustration grows, turning a loving long-distance relationship into the one that is a chore. At that point, long-distance relationships can become a burden. Some couples choose to continue struggling with a long-distance relationship, while others decide to end it. In this article, we explore the topic of intimacy in a long-distance relationship in more detail.
Long-distance relationships shouldn’t be hard to maintain. However, many couples approach it as a regular relationship, and this makes it a lot harder. If you find yourself having to make a lot of effort to maintain your long-distance relationship, reassess it with your partner.
When you cannot be physically close to your partner, the next best thing is to be emotionally connected. Here are some tips to help you along:
- Maintain physical and emotional intimacy
- Talk about things that matter
- Share your feelings
- Visit each other as often as you can
- Be more understanding of your long-distance partner
- Be understanding, rather than patient
- Treat your long-distance partner with love and respect
- Keep your long-distance relationship strong and happy
- Do not be clingy
- Do not be needy
While it can certainly be challenging to maintain a healthy long-distance relationship, it is surely not impossible. That is why we have created this workbook that will help you build and maintain intimacy with your partner while you are apart.
4. Discuss What You Want and Expect from a Long-Distance Relationship
A long-distance relationship is an opportunity to have a balance between working on your personal life goals as well as creating a healthy long-distance relationship with someone you love.
To give your long-distance relationship the best chance, consider these questions:
- Why do you want to start a long-distance relationship?
- Who do you want to start a long-distance relationship with?
- What do you want to achieve from this long-distance relationship?
- Do you have the means to visit each other and move in together?
- Are you okay with limited physical intimacy for some time, and if so, for how long?
Many couples in long-distance relationships try to maintain their relationship as long as possible regardless of whether they are happy or not.
If you find that your long-distance relationship becomes hard, discuss it with your long-distance partner and assess both of your personal and relationship goals.
Take a look at this article for more information about setting goals in a long-distance relationship.
When you need to give direction to your life and relationship, try the following:
- Set clear goals for your personal life and your relationship
- Set goals for your long-distance relationship
- Arrange dates for seeing each other as often as you can
- Agree on how long the distance will last and make a plan to move in together
5. Make a Plan to Achieve Personal and Relationship Goals
While many couples skip this step, having a solid plan for your long-distance relationship greatly impacts its success. Planning may seem boring and can even feel like it is taking away from the chaos of romance. However, it can not be further from the truth.
Long-distance couple tend to compensate for the lack of physical intimacy by talking on the phone, texting and video calling. This can easily lead to excessive communication, which in itself has a whole set of problems.
Making plans for your long-distance relationship can satisfy your need for connection while giving your relationship a practical foundation. When you know what will happen and when, you both will feel reassured that you are in control of your relationship. On top of that, a realistic plan will help you achieve your personal and relationship goals.
As a bonus, planning can also help you deal with a variety of issues is a healthy and controlled manner.
Here are some tips when making plans for your long-distance relationship:
- Plan your visits to make the most of your time together
- Agree on the frequency and means of your communication
- Discuss how you will handle the distance until you can be together
- Make a plan for your visits
- Establish if and when you would like to move in together
- Before moving in, get to know each other and visit each other regularly
6. Agree on When You Will Achieve Your Personal and Relationship Goals
To achieve your goals and create a healthy and successful relationship, you should have a solid and realistic plan. This plan must include a specific timeline.
Using a timeline that you set for your relationship you can successfully manage your time together and your time apart. A good timeline helps you know when will you have your next conversation and when you will get a chance to see each other.
If you would like to learn more about making a timeline for a long-distance relationship, check out this article.
7. Enjoy Your Time Together
Do you have a great long-distance relationship that you enjoy? There is something great about being able to do fun things with your friends, family or by yourself. When you can have fun doing these things, you always have something interesting to share when you talk to your partner.
If you see your relationship as a chore and an obligation, it will be tough to maintain your long-distance relationship.
There will be times when your partner will have doubts about their personal life or your relationship. And wouldn’t it be great if they felt completely free to express themselves openly and honestly to you? Any negative thinking can develop into doubts. If it happens share it with your partner.
Take a look at this article to learn how to deal with doubts in a long-distance relationship.
A great long-distance relationship means:
- You enjoy your personal life and share it with your long-distance partner
- You are able to freely express your feelings to your partner without the fear of being judged
- You have a lot of alone time with your thoughts to reflect on your life and relationship
- You trust your partner and they trust you
8. Enjoy Extra Space When You Are Apart
To have and maintain a healthy long-distance relationship you should make it fun and exciting. To do that, you need to spend more time living your life and less time talking about it.
If you want to keep your long-distance relationship healthy, you need clear and effective communication, so you can understand each other and resolve any issues as they come. You also have to maintain an emotional connection, particularly in the absence of physical closeness.
When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you have a lot of time to spend on doing things that you’re interested in. Doing the things that you love, will keep you happy. When you are happy with your personal life, you can build a healthy and enjoyable relationship, be it long distance.
Here is our complete guide on how you can make your long-distance relationship work. It takes you step by step through all the main aspects of a long-distance relationship and gives you pointers to avoid and solve common problems you may face while apart.
You can look at being apart as suffering or as an opportunity for personal grow. Making an effort to have a fulfilling life will automatically make your relationship more enjoyable.
- Do not allow your relationship to become boring
- Keep your relationship interesting, fun and exciting
- Live your own life by making it interesting, while achieving your goals and ambitions
- Keep the romance alive
- Have a healthy personal life
- Deal with any misunderstandings in a loving and respectful way
Here is our step by step guide on things you can do to spice up your long-distance relationship.
To maintain a healthy long-distance relationship, you should understand that it’s different from regular relationships. If you have good communication with your long-distance partner, you can discuss how long-distance affect your relationship.
It would be best if you share your feelings, doubts, and frustrations regularly. If something is on your mind, share it with your long-distance partner straight away. If you don’t, sad thoughts and doubts can grow and become an issue that may destroy your relationship.
If your long-distance relationship is working well, it won’t be hard to maintain it for a few months. Long-distance relationships aren’t meant to last for a long time because of the lack of physical intimacy that is needed for a full romantic experience. Check out this article to learn more about intimacy issues you may face as a long-distance couple.
Every long-distance relationship needs a plan on communication, how long the distance in the relationship will last, and an end date when you will move in together.
If you’re planning to have a long-distance relationship, you should aim to have a healthy one. To help you out, we have created a complete step by step guide that covers all areas of a long-distance relationship.
Long-distance relationships can be hard because of the lack of physical intimacy. But long-distance couples make them even harder by handling them the wrong way. If you see a long-distance relationship as a struggle, it will be very hard for you to enjoy it.
To enjoy the long-distance relationship, you need to change your mindset from negative thinking into positive. To do that you need to see your long-distance relationship for what it is, an opportunity to do things you would like to do in your personal life as well as having somebody to share them with.
The key to keeping your long-distance relationship strong and healthy is having trust and effective communication. If you want your long-distance relationship to be fun and exciting, you can play fun games online together with your long-distance partner.
If you are thinking about having a long-distance relationship, you should know what it involves and what it’s like to have one.
A healthy long-distance relationship brings joy, fun and excitement instead of suffering.
The foundation of a healthy long-distance relationship is trust, honesty, and open communication. If one of these are lacking or missing, you may find yourself in a an unhealthy and potentially toxic relationship.
To have a successful long-distance relationship, you should think about why you want to have one and how long you will the time apart last.
Frequently Asked Questions
How to have a long-distance relationship in college?
Having a long-distance relationship in college isn’t always a good idea. First of all, you will be away from your partner for several years. Secondly, college is the place to explore your social world and develop as a person.
How to have a long-distance relationship as a teenager?
When you’re a teenager, it can be fun to explore the world around you. There is nothing wrong with having a long-distance relationship, as long as it doesn’t take you away from living your life and being with people who are next to you.
How to have patience in a long-distance relationship?
You only need patience in a long-distance relationship if you are waiting to be together. Instead of waiting to be together, you should focus on what you can do now. A long-distance relationship is an opportunity for you to spend your time doing what you like and sharing personal and fun things with your long-distance partner.
How to have a long-distance relationship with someone you’ve never met?
When you have a long-distance relationship with someone you’ve never met, you are having a relationship with an idea, rather than with an actual person. To get to know the real person, you have to meet them in real life.
How to maintain a long-distance relationship with your partner?
To maintain a long-distance relationship agree on how long your long the distance in your relationship will last and when you will be together. You can maintain your long-distance relationship by having regular conversations and seeing each other as often as you can.
How can I maintain a healthy long-distance relationship?
To maintain a healthy long-distance relationship with your partner, you have to trust each other and be open to discussing anything that comes to your mind.
Is it possible to maintain a healthy long-distance relationship?
One thing you have to do to maintain your long-distance relationship is to make sure that each of you has personal lives that are fun, interesting, and exciting. If all you have is each other and you can’t even be together, then it’s time for you to reassess your life and your relationship.
Is it hard to keep a long-distance relationship healthy?
Long-distance relationships can be hard. There are many challenges when the romantic couple tries to stay together regardless of the physical distance. Romantic relationship implies having physical intimacy. When you are away from your partner for prolonged periods, you are missing out on being physically intimate with them. In this case a long-distance relationship without physical intimacy becomes more of a friendship.
How long can you maintain a healthy long-distance relationship?
You can maintain a long-distance relationship for a long time. Some couples make it last for years. But the real question is whether or not you’re happy to be in such a relationship for a long period. A romantic long-distance relationship means that you are expecting physical intimacy. While it can be fine to maintain your long-distance relationship for a few months, if you try to maintain it for too long, it will become a struggle. If your relationship becomes a struggle, Then you should re-evaluate whether it’s worth it for you to continue this relationship or is it better to end it.
How to keep a long-distance relationship strong and healthy?
To keep your long-distance relationship strong and healthy, you need trust and effective communication. Trust is the foundation for any relationship. In a long-distance relationship where you can’t see your long-distance partner, it’s even more important that you trust each other.
How Healthy Is Your Long-Distance Relationship?
If you are having doubts about your long-distance relationship and are not sure if you should try to fix it or let it go, here is our step by step guide to help you and your partner reassess your relationship and make an educated decision that works for both of you.
Relationship Coaching for Long-Distance Couples
Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain without knowing exactly what they involve.
However, once you understand what long-distance relationships are, what they are not and how to navigate them, you are a lot more likely to make it work.
We specialise in helping long-distance couples create and maintain a healthy relationship by building intimacy, trust and effective communication.
If you are starting a long-distance relationship or are already in one, send us a message to book an individual coaching session for yourself or a couples coaching session for you and your partner.