Are you trying to make your relationship work despite the many problems you face?
- Manage your emotions and approach your relationship issues objectively.
- Check that you and your partner are still interested in making this relationship work.
- Establish boundaries with your partner and take turns expressing your concerns.
- Identify the area of your relationship with the most significant issues.
- Work together with your partner to find amicable solutions that work for both of you.
- Get professional help from a relationship coach if you struggle to cope with overwhelming emotions.
- Consider having some time apart to find emotional balance and reflect on your relationship from a more balanced perspective.
In this article, you will learn how to make your relationship work in different situations. Try to keep the above steps in mind as you read through, to see what situation applies to you and what you can do right now to turn your relationship around.
What Qualities Make a Relationship Work
There are three things you need to make your relationship work:
- Good communication
- Healthy intimacy, both physical and emotional
You can do this to improve your chances of having a successful relationship from the beginning:
- Get to know yourself and what you want from a relationship
- Learn about your partner
- Check that you and your partner are compatible
- See that you and your partner want similar things from a relationship
- Make a plan on what you and your partner want for your relationship
How to Make Your Relationship Work Better
- Set relationship goals
- Make a plan and a timeline
- Work on your communication
- Spend quality time together
- Keep your relationship fun and exciting
- Handle any issues as soon as possible, before they become problems
One of the first things you want to do in a relationship is to set your goals. You and your partner need to be very clear on your personal and relationship goals.
It’s a good idea for you to take some time and think about these goals and set the goals that are important for you.
When it comes to setting relationship goals, it’s best to talk about it with your partner to make sure you’re on the same page.
Once you’ve set clear goals for your personal life and your relationship, you need a plan to achieve these goals.
How to Make a Relationship Work When Living Together
- Discuss your personal goals
- Set your relationship goals. Talk about your future, like if you want to have children or not
- Work on your communication, learn to communicate effectively
- Spend quality time together where you can share your feelings, thoughts and ideas
- Keep your relationship fun and exciting
- Express gratitude and appreciation to your partner
- Discuss your finances and how you are going to manage them together or separately
- Agree on the house chores, who does what, and when
When you live together you are going to share your physical space and time for a big part of your day, every day. This can be a very exciting thing at the beginning, but it can turn the opposite if you don’t know how to navigate it.
How to Make a Relationship Work When It Is Falling Apart
Here are some things you can do if you find your relationship to be falling apart and you would want to make it work:
- Check with your partner if they also feel that your relationship is falling apart.
- Identify why your relationship is falling apart.
- Discuss the issues you are having in your relationship and how you feel about it.
- Take the time to hear each other out to understand all points of view.
- Identify your and your partner’s needs and see how you can fulfil them.
- If you struggle with any of the above, coaching can help you identify the problems and see what it would take for you to fix them.
There are various reasons why a relationship will fall apart. Usually, changes in the dynamic of your relationship and the failure to adapt to such changes will begin the snowball effect.
Some common issues that cause a relationship to fall apart are the inability of the partners to address:
- Issues about physical or emotional intimacy
- Issues about money, how to manage and share your money
- Constant arguments and fights
- Difficulty to adapt to having a new member in the family, for example after having a baby
The above process requires effective communication and the willingness of you and your partner to make an effort and dedicate some time towards working things out. If only one of you wants to address the issues it will be next to impossible to make your relationship work. In this case, you may consider ending your relationship and moving on.
How to Make a Relationship Work with Opposite Schedules
Having a job that prevents you from spending time with your partner puts you in a difficult situation. On one side, you need and like your job. And on the other side, not spending enough time with your partner to nurture your relationship could have a negative impact on your relationship in the long run.
Having a job with opposite shifts or travelling to other places will prevent you from spending time together. This may make it harder to maintain a healthy emotional and physical intimacy.
If both of you have jobs that prevent you from having hardly any time together. You may start having issues in your relationship sooner rather than later.
You need to assess if there is a way you could find a different job, or take some of your holidays to be together. Otherwise, there is not much of a relationship. If you cannot make changes straight away, explore options so you can make a plan and work towards it. This will give hope to your relationship and something to look forward to for you and your partner.
How to Make a Relationship Work After Trust is Broken
- Recognise who has trust issues
- Identify if these trust issues are based on something objective or if they are born out of insecurities
- Talk to your partner about the cause of these trust issues and see how they affect your relationship. Then, you can see if both of you are willing to work them out.
- If you find challenging to deal with trust issues in your relationship, get in touch for some help.
The way to address trust issues in your relationship is to identify your concerns and your reasons behind them. Depending on whether these trust issues are caused by personal insecurities or your partner’s behaviour. You will have to take a different approach to address these issues.
While it is your responsibility to sort out your personal insecurities. The dynamic of your relationship is the responsibility of both of you. Professional help can help you find the causes of your trust issues and determine whether you will need personal coaching or couples coaching.
How to Make Relationship Work After Cheating
If your partner cheated on you, understanding is more important than forgiving. If all you do is forgive your partner for cheating, you will not know why they did it, so the chances are they will do it again.
So, instead of judging and forgiving, try listening and understanding. It will undoubtedly be a tough thing to do, considering all the emotions flowing through you at the time. However, this approach will give you more clarity about your situation, your partner’s point of view, and the state of your relationship.
Their understanding of your situation will give you the power to make a healthy decision and avoid future heartache and pain.
You can only fix a relationship after cheating if you understand what to change.
If one of you cheated, you had your reasons for doing so. If you have unfulfilled needs in your relationship, either physical or emotional. They will lead you to lose the connection between you and your partner. If you don’t have effective communication with trust and openness, you may lose the emotional connection, which can also be a reason for cheating.
Once you understood why the cheating took place, you can try to fix your relationship if it was a one-off situation. For example, if cheating was due to a lack of physical intimacy. Revamping your sex life, spending time together, doing fun activities, having romantic dates, etc…, could be a solution.
However, if you lost interest and feelings for your partner, ending your relationship could be a better solution.
Whatever you decide to do, it’s always better to make an objective decision based on understanding, rather than a decision based on your emotions and judgements of wrongdoing. The moment emotions subside, you may regret making that decision.
How to Make Relationship Work After a Breakup
A relationship can work after a breakup if you and your partner are prepared to make an effort to solve the issues that caused the breakup in the first place.
To give your relationship a second chance, you could try the following:
- Be willing and committed to doing everything you can to make it work
- Identify the problems in your relationship
- Be open to listening and learning from each other
- Be clear on the things you like and don’t like about the relationship and each other’s behaviour
- Learning to communicate effectively and in a loving way
- Have an idea of how you will implement changes in your relationship. So, you don’t end up going back to the same situation that caused the break up in the first place
- Consider getting professional help from a relationship coach if you are unsure of how to approach your situation
How to Make a Relationship Work During College
Many couples who aren’t sure what college and university life is like, decide to stay together and maintain their relationship long-distance. Many discover that is not working for them and break up after a few months.
When you are away from your partner, after some time, the distance will start taking its toll on your relationship. This could manifest as extra pressure, more arguments, and sexual frustration. Which will gradually make your relationship toxic.
The advantage of talking about a long-distance relationship before you go to college is that you can have an understanding between the two of you and remain friends. Staying friends after all the emotional turbulence would be a lot harder.
How to Be Open to an Open Relationship
- Consider what would you do if you start developing feelings for others while losing feelings for each other
- Talk about your plan of action if one person enjoys an open relationship, but the other one is not
- Weigh benefits and risks to see if it’s worth it
- Make sure that you and your partner are willing and happy to see other people
- Discuss your boundaries and freedoms.
First of all, make sure you have enough trust and understanding in your relationship and feel free to express your feelings and needs. Before you consider an open relationship, you need to make sure you have a healthy relationship with your partner.
When you start seeing other people is important you feel comfortable and unrestricted to express your thoughts, doubts, feelings and concerns. While knowing you have been understood without the fear of being judged.
How to Make an Online Relationship Work
To make an online relationship work, you need to have a plan and a timeline for how you would like your relationship to develop through different stages.
First, take into account that if you want to maintain an intimate connection with your partner, your long-distance relationship shouldn’t last a long time. Secondly, to make it easier to find a way to visit each other as often as you need.
Many couples in long-distance relationships don’t have the luxury of visiting each other as often as they would like. That’s why long-distance relationships are associated with struggle and hardship. Couples try to make their long-distance relationship into something that it’s not, a real romantic relationship.
The reason couples try to make their long-distance relationships work online, even though they are miserable, is because of the commitment and promises they made to each other. There is also an element of attachment that makes people stick together.
But at the end of the day, it comes down to you. You are the only one who can tell whether or not having an online long-distance relationship is worth it.
You should understand why you are staying in this online long-distance relationship:
- Are you happy with it?
- Is it healthy for you?
- Would you feel better if you find a way to live together?
- Is it best for everyone if you end it?
A healthy relationship can bring love, joy and fulfilment into your life. However, when things go wrong it can turn into an unpleasant experience.
As you go through your relationship, challenges, issues, and problems are inevitable. What can make a difference is your ability to face these challenges together. So that, you recognise and address the issues, and find the solutions that work for both of you, without any of you having to compromise your needs.
Finding the solutions that fulfil your and your partner’s needs can be difficult. But, it’s essential if you are to have a healthy relationship.
When you are unable to resolve problems they accumulate and can lead to an unhealthy and potentially toxic relationship.
At this point, you may find it very hard to approach your relationship problems objectively with all the build-up of negative emotions. In this case, you may consider having a few sessions with a relationship coach who can help you recognise your emotions. Then, embrace them while identifying your needs and helping you resolve your issues healthily and lovingly.
Help and Advice with Making Your Relationship Work
Tips to Make a Relationship Work
- Express yourself clearly and openly
- Don’t suppress your feelings
- Don’t sacrifice your needs
- Get to know what is important to you
- Express your preferences regarding different aspects of your relationship with your partner
- Don’t expect your partner to please you
- Take time to learn your partner’s feelings, needs and concerns
- See your and your partner’s needs as equally important
- Work together to find a way to address your issues and fulfil your needs.
If you don’t know how to make your relationship work and need professional help and advice, we’ll be happy to help! Check out our coaching options here.
Frequently Asked Questions
What to do if a relationship is not working?
Try to make it work, provided you and your partner are still interested and willing to make an effort to solve the issues in your relationship.
How to make a relationship work again?
To work out your issues, you need to have a fresh perspective on your relationship. You can achieve that by taking some time apart to find emotional balance and reflect on your relationship. You could also, get professional help from a relationship coach, who can help you see things differently and get you to work together.
How to make your relationship strong and last longer?
A strong relationship is built on good communication, healthy intimacy and trust. To have a healthy relationship that lasts a long time requires continuous improvement in these areas
How to make a relationship work from the beginning?
Don’t stop getting to know each other
Continue improving your communication
Address your issues as soon as they come
How to keep a relationship strong and happy?
Having a happy relationship depends on your compatibility, physical intimacy and emotional connection. As well as how well you can address the issues that arise throughout your relationship.
How to make a relationship last?
It could be better on making a relationship healthy, rather than make it last. An enjoyable relationship for a short period can bring you more fulfilment than being in an unhealthy relationship for a long time. A short relationship that is healthy can be more fulfilling than a long relationship that lasts a long time.
How long do you keep trying to make a relationship work?
You can keep trying to make your relationship work until you or your partner are no longer willing to make an effort to solve the issues in your relationship.
How do you know when to stop trying to make a relationship work?
You know it’s time to stop trying when you’ve done everything you could and nothing made a difference. And when at least one of you is no longer interested in making it work.