Starting a Relationship

Starting a Relationship

You have been seeing someone and now considering taking the next step to start a relationship.

The best time to start a relationship is after you have had a chance to know yourself. It helps to understand yourself before starting a relationship. Take some time to reflect on your personal and relationship goals and your expectations from a potential partner.

In this article, you will learn how to tell if you are a good match with your special someone.

Starting a New Relationship

When you are considering starting a relationship, it is worth asking yourself some questions:

  • What are you trying to achieve with this relationship?
  • Do you want a fling, or are you looking for a life partner to build a family with?

That said, be mindful of making plans, creating different scenarios, and worrying about it not working out. Before you know it, you start living in the future. Get to know each other first, enjoy the present experience.

Before you start a relationship, be clear on what you are looking for in a relationship.

You do not need to know every single detail about your potential partner. You do need to make sure you are compatible at a basic level.

It is easier to connect emotionally and intellectually when you share similar values, beliefs and interests.

First, become aware of what both of you expect from a relationship. Then, you can consider starting a relationship and getting to know each other deeper.

Starting a Healthy Relationship

Before you start a relationship, ask yourself:

  • Who is your ideal partner?
  • What do you want from the relationship?
  • Are you looking for a friend, a fling, or a more serious relationship?
  • What is it that you want to achieve with this relationship?

Knowing what you are looking for in a partner will help you choose the right one.

Take some time to:

  • Understand your values, beliefs, and preferences
  • Set personal goals
  • Set goals for your relationship

Reflect on:

  • Are you enjoying each other’s company and having fun?
  • Do you feel comfortable sharing your feelings?
  • Is your partner reciprocating romantic feelings?
  • Are you on the same page?
  • Do you have common relationship goals?

Before You Start a Relationship

  • Get clear about what you are feeling exactly (excitement, physical attraction, intellectual interest, etc.).
  • Share your feelings openly and honestly with your special someone.
  • Ask them how they are feeling.
  • Don’t expect them to tell you what you want to hear.
  • Be ok with everything they say.
  • Express what you want from this relationship (a fling, an open relationship, a friendship, or start a romantic relationship).
  • Ask what they want.

When Starting a Relationship

  • Ask yourself, how are you feeling right now?
  • Ask your special someone about their feelings.
  • Ask what they want from being with you.
  • Do they want to have a relationship with you?
  • What type of relationship do they prefer?
  • How often do they like to be physically intimate?
  • Are they ok with a temporary relationship to get to know each other?

How to Start a Relationship

Follow these steps to start a relationship the right way to give it the best chance of working out:

  1. Set your personal and relationship goals.
  2. Make a plan to achieve these goals.
  3. Set realistic expectations.
  4. Only make promises you know you can keep and will be happy to keep.
  5. Write down your reasons for being committed to this relationship.
  6. Set the boundaries for your communication.

Some things to keep in mind:

  • Keep in touch with your feelings and how they change as your situation develops.
  • Ask yourself if this relationship is for you.
  • Assess your expectations from this relationship.
  • Ask your partner about their expectations from your relationship.

Starting a Relationship with Your Best Friend

When you have romantic feelings for your best friend, you need to express them.

Before you tell your friend how you feel, take some time to learn about the romance in their life. Try to see if it is the right time for your friend to be involved in a romantic relationship.

Ask your friend indirectly what they think about having a romantic relationship, who would be their ideal partner and if they are open to an idea of having a new relationship.

  • If you get a hint that your friend also may have feelings for you, share your true feelings with your friend.
  • Ask how they feel about you.
  • If both of you feel the same, make a plan to see each other to check if you feel right being a couple.
  • Agree that no matter what, you will still be friends.

Express how you feel to your friend. And if they don’t feel the same, that’s ok. But if they can also see the two of you being together romantically, then give it a go.

Trust is the foundation of friendship. A romantic relationship is a friendship that also involves physical intimacy.

As long as you always remain honest and upfront with your feelings, you’ll find your way to have a healthy and happy relationship. Maybe it will be a passionate romantic relationship or a beautiful friendship.

Being friends with someone means you already have a relationship.

So what you might be asking yourself is: do your feelings have a romantic nature.

Bringing up the possibility of a romantic relationship can be somewhat nerve-wracking as it has the potential to destroy your friendship. But you owe it to yourself to acknowledge how you feel.

It is healthy to share your feelings with your friend. They might feel the same but are worried about bringing it up.

Do not feel rejected if your friend does not have romantic feelings towards you.

Everyone has the right to have their feelings, and if they have someone to share them with, that’s a true friendship.

Starting a Long-Distance Relationship

Starting a long-distance relationship can be a lot of fun. It allows you to connect with another person across the world. You can also keep in touch with your existing partner.

Is it easy? No more than any other relationship.

Is it difficult? Only if you are not clear on what it involves.

A long-distance relationship is a romantic relationship where you are physically apart. It is important not to confuse LDR with a complete romantic relationship where physical intimacy is not limited.

A long-distance relationship is a phase in a romantic relationship. In an LDR, physical intimacy is a luxury and is only possible during your visits.

Living apart has its benefits. You can use this time to learn more about each other.

Starting a long-distance relationship is different from starting one face to face. A lack of physical intimacy and exclusively online communication are the most significant.

When you start a new long-distance relationship, it’s normal to have doubts. After all, you have strong feelings for someone, and you want your relationship to work out.

Red Flags when Starting a Relationship

When you start a relationship, you are just getting to know each other.

Different situations and circumstances will show the real personality of your partner. You may encounter the sides of your partner you have not seen before.

Address everything that does not feel right. Ignoring red flags is not a good idea as they tell you that your relationship is not having a healthy start. And that it has the potential to get worse, which you probably want to avoid.

Here are some red flags that something is off in your relationship:

  • Your partner does not show interest in being with you
  • Your partner is spending less time with you
  • Your partner is bored in your relationship
  • Your partner wants to tell you what to do
  • Your partner tries to control you
  • You or your partner are jealous
  • You have constant arguments and misunderstandings
  • You are not enjoying being in this relationship.

Starting a Relationship Over

To start a relationship over, you must solve your issues and see the possibility to have a healthy relationship.

Sometimes, it is tricky to start over. The only way it can work is if you and your partner are willing and committed to addressing the issues that cause the breakup in the first place.

To address your issues you need:

  • Good and effective communication
  • Trust
  • Understanding
  • Ability to hear each other out
  • Refrain from judging or blaming each other
  • Being open to seeking professional help if you cannot see progress in your efforts of sorting things out by yourselves.

Tips on Starting a Relationship

  • Learn about yourself and what you want from a relationship
  • Set specific personal and relationship goals
  • Identify your needs, values and beliefs
  • Check to see that your potential partner’s values and beliefs align with yours
  • Make sure you want the same things from a relationship.


In this article, you have learned the areas you should cover when starting a relationship.

We have also looked into some red flags to tell you that you should reassess your relationship with this person before going any further.

When starting a relationship, make sure that you are with the right person.

To begin a healthy relationship, it helps to know each other’s personal life goals. Learn about your partner’s relationship goals to see that they align.

It is hard to predict how your relationship will turn out in the future. But what you can do, is learn about your partner as much as you can before making any long-term commitments.

If you are having doubts about starting a new relationship and need professional advice, we are here to help! Check out our coaching options.

Frequently Asked Questions

What’s the best way to start a relationship?

Take as long as you need to get to know the person you are seeing. You want to make sure that your fundamental values and beliefs align, and it is easy and enjoyable when you are together.

What to consider before starting a relationship?

Before starting a relationship, consider what you want from it and what you expect from your potential partner. Check that this relationship has the potential to contribute to your life goals and wellbeing.

Can starting over in a relationship work?

Starting over can work, provided you address the issues that got in the way the first time around.

Is it bad to start a relationship long-distance?

Long-distance relationships are exciting if you approach them with care and take them for what they are and not for what you want them to be. This type of relationship works great for a short period, after which you should consider meeting and planning to move in together. The lack of physical intimacy makes it an incomplete romantic relationship. If they last a long time, you may start feeling deprived of your partner’s company and sexually frustrated.

How Many Dates Before a Relationship?

Before you start a relationship, be clear on what you are looking for from a relationship. You do not need to know every single detail about your potential partner. But it would help to make sure you are compatible at a fundamental level with your values, beliefs and preferences.

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