You might find yourself struggling in a relationship, but What causes the struggles and What can you do about them?
Relationship struggles come as a result of not knowing how to resolve the problems. Many couples find themselves struggling because of bad communication or personal insecurities. To stop struggling and start enjoying your relationship you need to improve your communication. This will help you solve your disagreements in a healthy way. It is also worth addressing your personal issues so they don’t interfere with your relationship.
In this article, you will learn some struggles that couples face and how you can handle them in a healthy way.
What Are Relationship Struggles?
Essentially, struggling is your experience of the hardships that you’re facing in your relationship. How did it get from dating someone and enjoying your time together to feeling lost and not knowing what to do next?
There are several reasons why you might be struggling with your relationship. A struggle is a sensation that you’re facing a problem, which you are struggling to identify and don’t know how to deal with it.
So, if a struggle is an experience of how hard the relationship is. The question is what is the reason for your relationship to be so hard?
When you’re having struggles in your relationship you most likely wanted to relieve the tension and pressure.
A struggle is more of an emotional issue rather than practical. Problems are something you can address by finding solutions. Struggles is something you experience when you don’t know how to handle these problems in healthy way. As a result the problems accumulate, which in turn leads to more problems. This add to the challenges in your relationship that is already under strain.
What Does Struggles in a Relationship Look Like?
Struggles in a relationship looks like a toxic relationship on the making. Struggles in a relationship is when you stop enjoying each other’s company and have more problems that accumulate because you don’t know how to handle them.
What Causes Relationship Struggles?
The reason couples struggle in a relationship is that they see it as a burden. You are either focusing on the things that you cannot do because of your relationship or feel overwhelmed by all the things you have to do because of it.
If you focus on how inconvenient this relationship is and how many things you cannot do, you will see your situation as a struggle. The same is true if you feel you have far too many chores because of your relationship.
It’s possible to enjoy your relationship. The way to do it, it’s by changing your mindset. If you stop focus on the negative, you won’t be able to see the benefits of being in a relationship.
There are many reasons why couples struggle to maintain a healthy relationship. The two main reasons are poor communication, and lack of emotional and physical intimacy.
When the way you communicate with your partner is not helping to clear your doubts, uncertainties, and frustrations something isn’t right. These are things that ideally you’d be able to discuss with your partner.
Talking about your feelings and expressing yourself clearly is essential to maintain a healthy relationship.
When problems develop, you will start feeling an emotional disconnection with your partner. Over time, if not handle, this will cause problems in your relationship.
How Struggles Affect a Relationship
When you are struggling in a relationship you feel powerless to address all of these problems.
Each challenge that comes your way reinforces the believe that you feel powerless to improve your relationship. When you don’t know how to deal with the problems, you will naturally end up having more problems. This will reinforce the believe that you are incapable of solving the problems.
Then, you have the option of accepting that this relationship is a struggle or ending your relationship as a way to stop having more problems. Understanding what you are struggling with can help you to deal with them appropriately. So, it’s not just about finding solutions to problems. It’s about recognising your feelings of powerlessness that would stop you from finding the solutions in the first place.
When you have problems and can’t address them in a healthy way you are likely to experience:
- Feeling distant with your partner
- One of you giving the silent treatment
- Negative feelings about each other and the relationship
- Building resentment
Signs and Red Flags of Struggles in a Relationship
Here are some signs that you might be struggling in your relationship:
- You don’t know how to deal with the problems you’re facing
- You are in a relationship with someone who isn’t compatible with you in some way
- You don’t recognise specific problems, but you feel that something is wrong
- You expected your relationship to be easy without thinking twice about what it involves
- Problems accumulate and you are doubting if you are capable of resolving them
- You are growing mistrust of your partner, because of your insecurities, or their behaviour
- You are not spending much time together
- Lack of emotional connection
- You have a difference in sex drives
- You are sexually frustrated due to the lack of physical intimacy
- You are avoiding to be with each other
The longer you are in a relationship, the more struggles you are likely face. Let’s have a look at some of the common ones.
Common Struggles in a Relationship
- Not agreeing on things
- Maintaining intimacy
- Keeping the relationship fun and exciting
- Not having enough personal space
- Not spending enough time together
- Not being able to hear each other out
- Expressing yourself and hearing each other out
- Seeing each other’s point of view
- Appreciating each other’s values (e.g. things that are important for each of you)
Dealing with Struggles in a Relationship
If you are struggling in your relationship, you have to understand what is causing your struggles. You can use the list above to give you an idea of the kind of struggles couples may face.
Once you understand what exactly you’re struggling with, you can express it to your partner. If you need help expressing your thoughts, feelings, and doubts your partner, you need to learn how to communicate effectively.
Once you can express your feelings to your partner openly and clearly, you need to make sure that they understood your point of view. For this, they have to be willing to see things from your perspective.
When a couple struggles in a relationship, it can be hard for partners to hear each other. To deal with struggles you need to only address the problems and the negative feelings that have piled up as a result.
When things go wrong, both people tend to suffer, and each person wants to be heard and understood. If this happens, to save your relationship, you may need help from a relationship coach who can listen to both sides and find a way to bring the two of you together.
If you are serious about making your relationship work, communication is the very first thing you should be focusing on.
How to Overcome Struggles in a Relationship?
When you are struggling in a relationship, you feel stuck and you don’t see the way forward. In this case, it could serve you well to take a little break to step away from the situation and look at your relationship from a different perspective.
While you might feel overwhelmed, stuck and unsure about how to move forward, you could take another look at your relationship to identify the most obvious issues that you are facing. What exactly isn’t working for you in this relationship?
Perhaps, you could make a list of issues that come to your mind that you are not happy with. You can then prioritise these issues and tackle them one by one.
You overcome the struggles in your relationship and deal with problems. You need to recognise your feelings of powerlessness and the believe that you are not capable of handling these problems.
Let’s see how to overcome the struggle in your relationship:
- Recognise what you are struggling with (e.g. You are struggling to agree on things)
- Identify the problems that you are facing. (e.g. The problem could be bad communication)
- Believe that you are capable of solving these problems
- Find the way to deal with the specific problems (e.g. improve your communication)
- Ensure, both you and your partner are willing to make an effort to find the solutions that work for both of you
- If you are finding it hard to deal with the struggles in your relationship, get in touch to see how we can help
When you believe that you are capable of solving these problems. You will feel empowered knowing that you can make the change to create the relationship you want.
Ending Your Relationship Because of the Struggles
When trying to fix your relationship you may find that your struggles are more than what you can handle. Overtime, unresolved problems may have deteriorated your relationship to the point that it is just too much for you to handle at the moment.
In this case, you may want to consider having some time apart from your partner. It will give both of you a chance to have some personal space and have a look at your relationship from a different perspective.
This space could be enough for you to restore your emotional balance. You will gain clarity by seeing the root cause of your problems, so that you can address your struggles and mend your relationship.
You may also find that you are happier being apart. In which case, you may choose to end your relationship. Whatever you decide it’s worth maintaining an open communication so you can learn from each other the things you could have done better. This in turn will help you create healthier relationships in the future.
Getting Help Dealing with Struggles in Your Relationship
Tips on How to Deal with the Struggles in Your Relationship
- Don’t ignore your struggles
- Don’t tell yourself everything is fine when it isn’t
- Acknowledge your feelings and share them as openly and honestly as you can
- Hear your partner’s point of view
- Address your struggles as soon as possible
- Avoid suppressing your emotions and ignoring the problems as it can lead to a toxic relationship
If you don’t know how to deal with the struggle in your relationship and you need professional help and advice, get in touch and we’ll be happy to help!
If you find yourself struggling, some space may help to reassess your relationship. Take a step back from all the struggle and look at your relationship for what it is, rather than what you would like it to be. See what is your role in the relationship.
Make a list of feelings, thoughts, doubts, and ideas you have regarding your relationship. Then, share what you’ve discovered with your partner. Try to hear them out and understand their point of view on your relationship.
See what your partner has to say and do your best to understand them. Once you have an understanding with your partner, you can talk it out.
Many relationship struggles come from bad communication and the partners inability to express themselves and hear each other. This can leave both of you feeling alone, confused and powerless to address your issues.
Many people believe that being in a relationship is a struggle. They expect to suffer, so that’s what they get. But, it doesn’t have to be like that. Everyone is has the capacity to create a healthy and loving relationship. The problem is not everyone knows how to do that.
Having couples coaching could help you recognise and express your feelings. As well as addressing your struggles and finding solutions to your problems.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why people struggle in their relationships?
Because they don’t know how to resolve their problems in a healthy way.
Is it normal to struggle in relationships?
In a relationship you can expect to get some struggles. What makes the difference is the ability to recognise the struggles, talk about them with your partner. And, address these problems to find a way to solve them
Can you survive a toxic relationship?
If you are considering to survive a toxic relationship it means you are willing to endure more suffering. While the unhealthy issues remain in your relationship, it will only become more toxic. So, it will depend how much you can handle before you break.
How to survive a broken relationship?
You can try to revive the love in a broken relationship, but it won’t be simple. You can try to mend it if you know how and have the emotional capacity to do so.
Can a sexless relationship survive?
Only if neither of the partners have the need for sex, it could work just fine. The problem is one partner want sex but don’t get it. It can lead to additional problems like sexual frustration.