Saving Your Long-Distance Relationship: What to Do When It’s Falling Apart
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Do late-night video calls and countless love letters only make you feel more lonely in your long-distance relationship?
You’re not alone – but with a little creativity and a lot of commitment, you can turn your separation into a source of strength and deepen your bond. As the miles and time zone differences pile up, it’s easy for the love and connection in your long-distance relationship to fade away. But don’t give up just yet – with a little effort and a lot of heart, you can overcome the obstacles and reignite the flames of passion and intimacy, even from afar.
Maintaining a long-distance relationship can be a test of patience, trust, and love. With distance and time zone differences, it’s easy to feel isolated, disconnected, and unsure of your future together. But don’t let these obstacles define your relationship – instead, turn them into opportunities to grow and strengthen your bond.
After you’ve been in a long-distance relationship for some time, and it’s not going anywhere, your relationship may start falling apart. You begin to lose interest, and your feelings may fade away.
In this article, we’ll explore the signs of a struggling long-distance relationship and provide practical tips and strategies to help you save it and deepen your connection, even from afar. So whether you’re looking to reignite the spark or build a foundation for a future together, read on for guidance and inspiration.
Why do Long-Distance Relationships Fall Apart?
Long-distance relationships fall apart because they aren’t meant to last for a long time. When couples try to maintain their long-distance relationship for longer than a few months, they begin to face many issues. Frustrations take over, feelings change, and the relationship falls apart.
One of the main issues is the lack of physical intimacy. In a romantic relationship, you expect to be physically close to your partner. Couples that are together seen each other every day. This physical closeness allows couples to fulfil their need for physical intimacy.
Some long-distance couples go for weeks without seeing each other. So how can you expect to maintain a healthy romantic relationship with a partner who is away from you most of the time?
There are many situations where couples need to maintain a long-distance relationship for some time. It’s not that difficult to manage a healthy relationship over a long distance for a few months. But even that requires trust and clear and open communication.
In a long-distance relationship, most of the communication happens over the Internet. It’s hard to express your thoughts and feelings over text messages or phone calls.
Unless you have effective communication that allows you to understand each other well, online communication can cause many misunderstandings and unnecessary arguments. After a while, your relationship won’t bring you any more joy. Soon enough, your relationship falls apart.
To get your relationship back on track, use this workbook to have the right conversations the right way.
If the long-distance in your relationship doesn’t have an end date and a plan to get there, it will be tough to maintain your relationship indefinitely.
Unless you know where your relationship is going and how long it will take to get there, your feeling of being alone, while in the relationship, may seem to last forever. At some point, you will get tired of waiting for the time when you can live together.
Drifting Apart in a Long-Distance Relationship
When you are in a long-distance relationship, you and your partner go through separate experiences in life. These experiences change each of you to the point where after a while, you are no longer the same people that started the long-distance relationship.
While you can maintain an emotional connection with effective communication online, you also need to share physical experiences. In a healthy long-distance relationship, partners visit each other as long and as often as they’d like and go on trips together.
That is an ideal relationship that few people can afford. Frequent visits and trips require time and money. And unless you have the resources to spend on your long-distance relationship, it will be hard to maintain without drifting apart.
Here is a special guide that will help you build intimacy and stay connected even when you are apart.
Fading Feelings in a Long-Distance Relationship
To maintain feelings in a long-distance relationship, you need to keep emotional intimacy via affective communication and physical intimacy through frequent visits and fun trips together.
If you don’t have clear and open communication and the money to spend to visit each other, it will be hard for you to maintain closeness with your long-distance partner.
Without intimacy of meaningful conversations and physical closeness, the feelings that you once shared for each other may begin to fade away.
The more time you spend apart, the higher the chances you have of meeting someone else. If you come across someone you like in real life, you may develop feelings towards that person. And if you spend a little bit more time with them your feelings for your long-distance partner may fade away.
Signs Your Long-Distance Relationship Is Falling Apart: What to Look Out For
It’s not always easy to tell when a long-distance relationship is in trouble, but there are some common signs that something may be wrong. Some of the most common warning signs include:
Communication is Lacking
One of the most obvious signs that your long-distance relationship is in trouble is a decrease in communication. When you used to talk every day, now you struggle to find time for a quick text or call. If you’re finding it harder and harder to connect with your partner and neither of you is no longer making an effort to talk regularly, it could be a sign that something is wrong. So, if the frequency and quality of your communication have declined, this may be a red flag.
Reduced Quality of Communication
Another warning sign is if the quality of your conversations has changed. If you’re no longer having meaningful conversations, or if your partner seems uninterested in what you have to say, it’s a red flag.
You Feel Emotionally Distant
You may feel like you’re growing apart and losing the emotional intimacy that once brought you together. If you no longer feel a strong emotional connection with your partner, it may be a sign that the relationship is struggling.
Lack of Effort
When one or both partners stop making an effort to maintain the relationship, it can be a sign that the relationship is in trouble. If you or your partner are no longer putting in the effort to maintain the relationship, it may be a sign that the relationship is fading. If you’re feeling neglected or ignored, it may be time to have an honest conversation with your partner about what’s going on.
Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and long-distance relationships are no exception. If you’re experiencing trust issues, such as finding yourself doubting your partner’s actions or intentions, it may be time to take a step back and reevaluate the relationship.
Increased Arguments and Disagreements
If you and your partner are arguing more frequently, it’s a sign that something is wrong. It’s normal to have disagreements in any relationship, but even small conversations seem to escalate into major disagreements, leaving you both feeling frustrated and unheard. It’s a warning sign that the relationship is in trouble.
Difficulty Making Plans for the Future
You can’t seem to agree on a timeline for when you’ll be together again, or you’re not making any plans at all. If you and your partner are no longer making plans for the future together, it may indicate that the relationship is no longer a priority for either of you.
If you’re in a long-distance relationship and you’re experiencing any of these warning signs, don’t panic. It’s possible to repair the relationship, but it’s important to address the issues before they get worse. It may be time to have an honest and open conversation with your partner about the future of the relationship.
Remember, you’re in this together, and with the right support and effort, you can get your relationship back on track. Our platform provides custom-tailored and one-of-a-kind couples coaching that can help you navigate the challenges of a long-distance relationship and work towards a brighter future together.
By focusing on these core areas of your relationship, you can build a strong foundation for your long-distance love, even as you navigate the difficulties of distance and time apart. If you’re experiencing any of these signs, it’s important to take action sooner rather than later.
Taking Action to Save Your Long-Distance Relationship
To save a struggling long-distance relationship, it’s important to first build a strong foundation for the future. Here are some practical tips for strengthening your bond and creating a positive and supportive environment for your relationship:
1. Establish Clear Communication
Good communication is essential for any relationship, and it’s even more important in a long-distance relationship. Set aside regular times each day or week to check in with each other and stay connected, even if it’s just for a quick text or call. Explore new and innovative ways to share your experiences and feelings with your partner, such as video calls, virtual reality, or even sending physical letters. Plan special virtual dates, share interests and activities and find creative ways to spend quality time together, even when you’re miles apart.
2. Strengthen Your Emotional Connection
A strong emotional connection is the cornerstone of any long-lasting relationship, and it’s even more important in a long-distance relationship. Consider couples coaching to help you navigate the challenges of your relationship and find ways to deepen your emotional connection, even from a distance. Share your hopes, fears, and dreams, and find ways to deepen your emotional connection through virtual dates, shared interests, and special gestures. Share your experiences and activities, whether it’s through virtual cooking lessons, watching a movie together, or taking a virtual tour of a museum. Regularly express your love and affection for your partner through words, gestures, and physical tokens of affection, such as sending flowers or a special gift.
3. Make Future Plans
Having a plan for the future can help provide clarity and direction for your long-distance relationship and give you both something to work towards. Discuss your visions and aspirations for the future and set realistic goals for your relationship, such as visiting each other more frequently, or eventually closing the distance. Make concrete plans for when you’ll be together again, whether it’s for a visit or a permanent reunion. Focus on building a strong foundation for your relationship through effective communication, emotional intimacy, and shared experiences, so that you’re both prepared for a future together when the time comes.
4. Practice Forgiveness and Understanding
Accept that distance can be challenging and learn to forgive each other’s mistakes and misunderstandings.
By taking steps to save your long-distance relationship, you can not only resolve the current problems but also build a stronger and more resilient bond for the future.
Tips on What You Can Do When Your Long-Distance Relationship Is Falling Apart
When your long-distance relationship is falling apart, you can find a way to fix it or decide to end it.
To fix a relationship that is falling apart, you need to know the reason why it is no longer working. You can solve most problems in a long-distance relationship through understanding and effective communication.
Here is what you can do when your long-distance relationship is falling apart:
- Recognise your long-distance relationship for what it is and not for what you want it to be.
- Get clear on how you feel about being in a long-distance relationship.
- Communicate regularly but not too long.
- Express yourself openly and clearly.
- Identify the source of your problem.
- Share your views on a specific issue and how you feel about it.
- Give your partner a chance to share their point of view on a particular issue.
- Aim for understanding each other without judgments.
- Look for a solution to your problems that works for both of you.
- If the problems are more profound and complicated, it is best to discuss them when you see each other during your next visit.
- By expressing your feelings in a loving way, your conversation will be less charged with emotions.
- In a calm and understanding frame of mind, you will have a better chance of finding a solution, instead of arguing about it.
- Maintain trust by sharing your feelings, thoughts, doubts, and concerns with your partner.
- If something is bothering you, try to express it straight away.
- If you feel strong emotions, take some time to understand them better before you share them with your partner.
- Find a balance between maintaining a connection with your partner and living your life and doing the things you enjoy with your friends, family, or by yourself.
Depending on the problem, you may decide to continue with your relationship and fix the problem or end your relationship altogether. If you would like to give this relationship your best shot, here is a comprehensive article on how to make your long-distance relationship work.
Ending a relationship is one way to solve your relationship problems. However, unless you understand your part in creating these problems, you risk doing the same in your next relationship.
For example, your feelings may have changed, you may have drifted apart and you no longer have romantic feelings or regular physical intimacy with your partner. In this case, you may choose to end your relationship and find someone else with whom you can have a better relationship.
Should you decide to end your long-distance relationship, do it together with your partner. Way too often, one of the partners decides to end the relationship and then looks for a way to inform the other person about it. This is the wrong way to go about finishing your long-distance relationship.
How Do You Fix A Long-Distance Relationship That’s Falling Apart?
A long-distance relationship can start falling apart for several reasons. Depending on what went wrong, there are different things you can do to handle your relationship in a healthy way.
Here are a few things you can do to help you understand what’s happening in your relationship and get an idea of what to do when your long-distance relationship is falling apart.
- Have some time to yourself to understand how you feel in your long-distance relationship.
- Make a list of things that you believe are not working for you or your relationship.
- Express your thoughts, doubts, and feelings to your long-distance partner.
- Allow your partner the time to reflect on everything you told them.
- Once they know where you stand, they can tell you their point of view.
- After you have discussed all the issues in your long-distance relationship, together with your partner, you can try to find a way to fix the problems.
- You may decide that it would be best for both of you to end your relationship so you can find someone else with whom you can be happy.
- Provided you trust each other and enjoy each other’s company in a platonic way, you may choose to remain friends.
If you can, meet in real life to discuss your relationship if you can’t arrange a video call. Avoid talking about these critical issues over text or the phone.
If you are having doubts about what to do with your long-distance relationship, use our guide to help you reassess your relationship to see how healthy it really is. It will take you and your partner through various aspects of your relationship step by step.
Should you decide to wrap things up, check out our article on how to end a long-distance relationship the right way.
If you and your long-distance partner experience some issues but are still very much in love, it’s worth trying to fix your long-distance relationship before it falls apart.
To fix issues in your relationship, you should know what these issues are. On many occasions, couples feel that something isn’t working, but they struggle to pinpoint what exactly is the problem. If this is you, get in touch with one of our couples coaches who specialise in long-distance relationships and get the personalised help your relationship deserves.
If you are serious about making your relationship work and want to figure things out on your own, our complete guide will take you through every aspect of your long-distance relationship step-by-step.
- Make a list of things that you believe might be causing your problems.
- Ask your partner to do the same.
- Compare your lists and share your thoughts and feelings about them.
A long-distance relationship can be a test of strength, but it can also be an opportunity to grow and strengthen your bond with your partner. By developing your communication, investing in your emotional connection, and making a plan for the future, you’ll find that the challenges of a long-distance relationship can bring you and your partner closer together.
When long-distance relationships last a long time, sooner or later there is a chance they will fall apart. This happens for many reasons which we have discussed in this article.
If you feel that your long-distance relationship is falling apart, you can either look for ways to fix it or consider ending your relationship altogether.
Whatever you decide to do, make sure to talk to your partner openly and honestly. Take time to listen to what they have to say and together make a decision that works for both of you.
When the going gets tough, remember that you’re not alone. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help, whether it’s through couples coaching or other resources on our website.
If you’ve recognised any of the warning signs in your long-distance relationship, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship. The tips we’ve covered are a good place to start.
Following the steps in this article, you and your partner can weather any storm and come out the other side even stronger. And, in case you can’t do it alone, our teams of coaches who specialise in long-distance relationships are here to help.
At the end of the day, love conquers all, and with a little bit of effort and a lot of heart, your long-distance relationship can be just as strong, if not stronger, than a relationship that’s close by. So hold on tight, be patient, and always keep the faith, because true love knows no distance.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you fix a dying long-distance relationship?
To fix a dying long-distance relationship, it’s important to prioritise communication, invest in your emotional connection, and make a plan for the future. Couples coaching can also be a helpful solution.
How do you save a dying LDR?
To save a dying long-distance relationship, try to identify the root cause of the issues and work together with your partner to address them. Regular check-ins, technology-assisted communication, and shared experiences and activities can help strengthen your bond.
What kills a distance relationship?
Some common reasons a long-distance relationship might fail include a lack of communication, difficulty maintaining an emotional connection, unrealistic expectations, and a lack of plans for the future.
What is the average lifespan of a long-distance relationship?
There is no set lifespan for a long-distance relationship. It all depends on the commitment, effort, and communication put into the relationship by both partners.
How to handle a long-distance relationship?
To handle a long-distance relationship, prioritise communication, invest in your emotional connection, make a plan for the future, and be open to seeking support and guidance through couples coaching or other resources.
How do you know if your long-distance relationship is failing?
Signs that a long-distance relationship might be failing include a lack of communication, decreased emotional connection, unrealistic expectations, and a feeling of distance or disconnection from your partner.
When should you call it quits in a long-distance relationship?
There is no one right answer to this question, as it ultimately depends on the individuals involved. If a long-distance relationship is causing more harm than good, and you and your partner are unable to address the issues and find a solution, it may be time to consider ending the relationship.
How can I feel connected in my long-distance relationship?
Building and maintaining a strong emotional connection is key in a long-distance relationship. Try prioritising communication with regular check-ins and technology-assisted communication, such as video calls. You can also consider couples coaching to strengthen your bond, and plan shared experiences and activities to create shared memories.
What are the harsh facts of long-distance relationships?
Long-distance relationships can be challenging, but it’s important to understand the facts to tackle any difficulties head-on. Some harsh facts include a higher likelihood of feeling lonely or disconnected, increased trust issues, and difficulty maintaining physical intimacy.
Should I end my long-distance relationship?
Ultimately, the decision to end a relationship is a personal one and only you can know what is right for you. However, some signs that your relationship may be in trouble include feeling disconnected, experiencing trust issues, and having difficulty maintaining physical intimacy. If you’re unsure, couples coaching can help provide you with the tools and support to work through any challenges together.
What makes a long-distance relationship successful?
A successful long-distance relationship is built on trust, communication, and a strong emotional connection. Regular check-ins, technology-assisted communication, and planning shared experiences and activities can all help to maintain this connection. It’s also important to set realistic goals for the future and have a plan for eventually closing the distance.
What are common problems in long-distance relationships?
Some common problems in long-distance relationships include feeling disconnected, experiencing trust issues, and difficulty maintaining physical intimacy. It’s important to address these challenges head-on and work together as a team to overcome them.
What are the signs of an unhealthy long-distance relationship?
Some signs of an unhealthy long-distance relationship include feeling disconnected, experiencing trust issues, and difficulty maintaining physical intimacy. If you’re experiencing any of these issues, it may be helpful to seek support from a couples coach to work through them.
What are the signs that my partner is losing interest in our long-distance relationship?
Some signs that your partner may be losing interest in a long-distance relationship include a lack of communication, decreased expressions of affection, and a lack of effort to maintain the relationship. If you’re experiencing any of these issues, it’s important to address them head-on with your partner.
How do I know if my long-distance relationship is working?
Signs of a successful long-distance relationship include consistent communication, trust, and plans for the future. Consider if you both are putting effort into the relationship and if your feelings for each other remain strong.
I love him but I can’t do long distance. What should I do?
It can be difficult to maintain a long-distance relationship, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. However, it’s important to have open and honest communication with your partner to determine if the relationship is worth continuing.
What are the signs of cheating in a long-distance relationship?
Signs of cheating in a long-distance relationship can include sudden changes in behaviour, secrecy, and unusual activity on social media or communication platforms. Trust is crucial in any relationship, and it’s important to address any concerns and have open communication to prevent cheating.
What is gaslighting in a long-distance relationship, and how can I address it?
Gaslighting in a long-distance relationship can be damaging and create confusion and mistrust. It involves manipulating the other person into questioning their memories and perceptions. It’s important to recognise and address gaslighting in a relationship and seek support to overcome it.