What to Do When a Long-Distance Relationship Is Falling Apart?

What to Do When a Long-Distance Relationship Is Falling Apart?

Table of Contents

A long-distance relationship can start falling apart for several reasons. Depending on what went wrong, there are different things you can do to handle your relationship in a healthy way.

Here are a few things you can do to help you understand what’s happening in your relationship and give you an idea of what to do when your long-distance relationship is falling apart.

  1. Have some time to yourself to understand how you feel in your long-distance relationship.
  2. Make a list of things that you believe are not working for you or your relationship.
  3. Talk to your long-distance partner about your thoughts, feelings, ideas, and concerns about your long-distance relationship.
  4. Allow your partner the time to reflect on everything you told them.
  5. If you can, meet in real life to discuss your relationship if you can’t arrange a video call.
  6. Avoid talking about these critical issues over the text or the phone.

After you’ve been in a long-distance relationship for some time, and it’s not going anywhere, your relationship may start falling apart. You begin to lose interest, and your feelings may fade away.

In this article we’ll have a look at things you can do to fix your relationship.

Why Long-Distance Relationships Fall Apart? 

Long-distance relationships fall apart because they aren’t meant to last for a long time. When couples try to maintain their long-distance relationship for longer than a few months, they begin to face many issues. Frustrations take over, feelings change, and the relationship falls apart.

One of the main issues is the lack of physical intimacy. In a romantic relationship, you expect to be physically close to your partner. Couples that are together to see each other every day. This physical closeness allows couples to fulfil their need for physical intimacy.

Some long-distance couples go for weeks without seeing each other. So how can you expect to maintain a healthy romantic relationship with a partner who is away from you most of the time?

There are many situations where couples need to maintain a long-distance relationship for some time. It’s not that difficult to manage a healthy relationship over a long-distance for a few months. But even that requires trust and clear and open communication.

In a long-distance relationship, most of the communication happens over the Internet. It’s hard to express your thoughts and feelings over text messages or phone calls

Unless you have effective communication that allows you to understand each other well, online communication can cause many misunderstandings and unnecessary arguments. After a while, your relationship won’t bring you any more joy. Soon enough, your relationship falls apart.

To get your relationship back on track, use this workbook to have the right conversations the right way.

If the long-distance in your relationship doesn’t have an end date and a plan to get there, it will be tough to maintain your relationship indefinitely. 

Unless you know where your relationship is going and how long it will take to get there, your feeling of being alone, while in the relationship, may seem to last forever. At some point, you will get tired of waiting for the time when you can live together.

Drifting Apart in a Long-Distance Relationship

When you are in a long-distance relationship, you and your partner go through separate experiences in life. These experiences change each of you to the point where after a while, you are no longer the same people that started the long-distance relationship.

While you can maintain an emotional connection with effective communication online, you also need to share physical experiences. In a healthy long-distance relationship, partners visit each other as long and as often as they’d like and go on trips together.

That is an ideal relationship that few people can afford. Frequent visits and trips require time and money. And unless you have the resources to spend on your long-distance relationship, it will be hard to maintain without drifting apart.

Here is a special guide that will help you build intimacy and stay connected even when you are apart.

Fading Feelings in a Long-Distance Relationship

To maintain feelings in a long-distance relationship, you need to keep an emotional intimacy via affective communication and physical intimacy through frequent visits and fun trips together.

If you don’t have clear and open communication and the money to spend to visit each other, it will be hard for you to maintain closeness with your long-distance partner.

Without intimacy of meaningful conversations and physical closeness, the feelings that you once shared for each other may begin to fade away.

The more time you spend apart, the higher the chances you have of meeting someone else. If you come across someone you like in real life, you may develop feelings towards that person. And if you spend a little bit more time with them your feelings for your long-distance partner may fade away.

Signs Your Long-Distance Relationship Is Falling Apart

Here are the signs that your long-distance relationship is falling apart:

  • You don’t talk as much as you used to.
  • You don’t see each other often enough.
  • You or your long-distance partner avoid meaningful conversations about your feelings and your relationship.
  • You don’t have a plan to get together.
  • You don’t make much effort towards living together.
  • Either you or your long-distance partner loses interest in each other or your relationship.

What to Do When Your Long-Distance Relationship Is Falling Apart?

When your long-distance relationship is falling apart, you can find a way to fix it or decide to end it.

To fix a relationship that is falling apart, you need to know the reason why it is no longer working.

You can solve most problems in a long-distance relationship through understanding and effective communication.

Here is what you can do when your long-distance relationship is falling apart:

  • Recognise your long-distance relationship for what it is and not for what you want it to be.
  • Get clear on how you feel about being in a long-distance relationship.
  • Communicate regularly but not too long.
  • Express yourself openly and clearly.
  • Identify the source of your problem.
  • Share you see each specific issue and how you feel about it.
  • Give your partner a chance to share their point of view on a particular issue.
  • Aim for understanding each other without judgments.
  • Look for a solution to your problems that works for both of you.
  • If the problems are more profound and complicated, it is best to discuss them when you see each other during your next visit.
  • If you bring up your feelings in a controlled way, your conversation will be less charged with emotions.
  • If you are in the right frame of mind of calmness and understanding, you will have a better chance of finding a solution, instead of arguing about it. 
  • Maintain trust by sharing your feelings, thoughts, doubts, and concerns with your partner.
  • If something is bothering you, try to express it straight away.
  • If you feel strong emotions, take some time to understand them better before you share them with your partner.
  • Find a balance between maintaining a connection with your partner and living your life and doing the things you enjoy with your friends, family, or by yourself.

Depending on the problem, you may decide to continue with your relationship and fix the problem or end your relationship altogether. If you would like to give this relationship your best shot, here is a comprehensive article on how to make your long-distance relationship work.

Ending a relationship is one way to solve your relationship problems. However, unless you understand your part in creating these problems, you risk doing the same in your next relationship.

For example, your feelings may have changed, you may have drifted apart and you no longer have romantic feelings or regular physical intimacy with your partner. In this case, you may chose to end your relationship and find someone else with whom you can have a better relationship.

Should you decide to end your long-distance relationship, do it together with your partner. Way too often, one of the partners decides to end the relationship and then looks for a way to inform the other person about it. This is the wrong way to go about finishing your long-distance relationship.

Here is a healthier way to end your relationship:

  1. Express your thoughts, doubts, and feelings to your long-distance partner.
  2. Once they know where you stand, they can tell you their point of view.
  3. After you have discussed all the issues in your long-distance relationship, together with your partner, you can try to find a way to fix the problems. 
  4. You may decide that it would be best for both of you to end your relationship so you can find someone else with whom you can be happy.
  5. Provided you trust each other and enjoy each other’s company in a platonic way, you may chose to remain friends.

If you are having doubts about what to do with your long-distance relationship, check out this guide. It will take you and your partner step by step through various aspects of your relationship and will help you see how healthy your relationship really is.

How Do You Fix A Long-Distance Relationship That’s Falling Apart? 

If you and your long-distance partner experience some issues but are still very much in love, it’s worth trying to fix your long-distance relationship before it falls apart.

To fix issues in your relationship, you should know what these issues are. On many occasions, couples feel that something isn’t working, but they struggle to pinpoint what exactly is the problem. If this is you, one thing you can do is to get in touch with the relationship coach and get help.

Here’s one thing you can do with your long-distance partner to try and figure things out:

  1. Make a list of things that you believe might be causing your problems. 
  2. Ask your partner to do the same. 
  3. Compare your lists and share your thoughts and feelings about them.

If you are serious about making your relationship work, here is our complete guide that takes you step by step through every aspect of a long-distance relationship.

Conclusion

When long-distance relationships last a long time, sooner or later there is a chance they will fall apart. This happens for many reasons which we have discussed in this article.

If you feel that your long-distance relationship is falling apart, you can either look for ways to fix it or consider ending your relationship altogether.

Whatever you decide to do, make sure to talk to your partner openly and honestly. Take time to listen to what they have to say and together make a decision that works for both of you.

How Healthy Is Your Long-Distance Relationship?

If you are having doubts about your long-distance relationship and are not sure if you should try to fix it or let it go, here is our step by step guide to help you and your partner reassess your relationship and make an educated decision that works for both of you.

Relationship Coaching for Long-Distance Couples

Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain without knowing exactly what they involve.

However, once you understand what long-distance relationships are, what they are not and how to navigate them, you are a lot more likely to make it work.

We specialise in helping long-distance couples create and maintain a healthy relationship by building intimacy, trust and effective communication.

If you are starting a long-distance relationship or are already in one, send us a message to book an individual coaching session for yourself or a couples coaching session for you and your partner.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does love fade away in a long-distance relationship?

If a long-distance relationship lasts a long time, love and feelings can fade away. To maintain feelings in a long-distance relationship, you need clear and open communication to maintain an emotional connection. It would help if you also visit each other frequently and go on special trips together so you can maintain physical closeness.

Why is my long-distance relationship falling apart?

Your long-distance relationship can be falling apart for several reasons. One reason is the lack of physical intimacy, which is very hard to maintain in a long-distance relationship. Another reason for a relationship to fall apart is a lack of trust and effective communication. If you struggle to find understanding with your long-distance partner, you will end up having much confusion and unnecessary arguments.

How do you fix a long-distance relationship that’s falling apart?

To fix a long-distance relationship that’s falling apart, you need to understand the reason why is falling apart. Take some time to yourself to write down the list of things that you believe might be causing the issue. Share these things with your long-distance partner. Take the time to hear their point of view. Together, you can find a way to fix these issues or end your relationship.

How do you fix a relationship that’s drifting apart?

Couples drift apart in a long-distance relationship when they don’t get a chance to see each other frequently. If you don’t share everyday experiences with your long-distance partner, after a while, you will start drifting apart. The only solution to that is to increase the number of times you visit each other and go on fun trips together. Make sure to discuss meaningful things over the Internet between your visits.

What can couples do in a long-distance relationship?

As a couple, you can discuss exciting things or play online games when you’re apart. When you meet each other, during your visit, you can plan to have exciting adventures to keep the spark alive.

What to do to make a long-distance relationship work?

The key to making your long-distance relationship work is trust, honesty and clear communication.

What to do to keep a long-distance relationship?

To keep your long-distance relationship and healthy, you and your long-distance partner must enjoy your relationship and have fun with it. Long-distance relationships should not be a burden and a struggle.

What to do when your long-distance girlfriend or boyfriend visits?

During your partner’s visit, you can have a quiet time together, talking about your relationship. Or you can have a crazy adventure with a lot of pictures that will remind you of your exciting times together.

What to do when a long-distance relationship gets hard?

Long-distance relationships aren’t meant to be hard. They can be hard if you don’t know how to manage them properly. If you feel your long-distance relationship becomes a hardship. Try to figure out why by talking to your long-distance partner. Talk about things that work and don’t work for either of you.

What to do when your long-distance relationship is getting boring?

When you’re long-distance relationship is getting boring, you should reduce the amount of how much you talk to each other avoid excessive communication. You can also do fun and exciting things that we talked about in this article.

What to do when your long-distance relationship is falling apart?

When your long-distance relationship is falling apart, you should understand why. First of all, have an open and honest conversation with your long-distance partner to discuss what you like and don’t like about your long-distance relationship.

What to do in a long-distance relationship fight?

If you are fighting in during your long-distance relationship, stop. Unless you have a clear open and effective communication, it’s easy to misunderstand each other. These misunderstandings lead to unnecessary fights.

What to do when a long-distance relationship ends?

When your long-distance relationship ends, move on. It’s worth taking time to discuss with your long-distance partner the things that have gone wrong so that you can do better next time.

What to do if a long-distance relationship is not working?

It’s a long-distance relationship isn’t working, try to figure out why. It could be a simple miscommunication, or it can be the fact that your feelings and goals have changed.

What to do when your long-distance girlfriend or boyfriend cheated on you?

If your long-distance partner cheated on you, you should understand why. Cheating can be a sign that you don’t have trust in your relationship, or it may be as simple as a need for physical intimacy that is unfulfilled. It happens if your long-distance relationship lasts a long time.

How can I cope with a long-distance relationship?

For you to cope with the long-distance relationship, you should understand why your relationship brings you suffering instead of joy. When you know what’s not working, you can share it with your long-distance partner and together find a solution to these problems.

How do couples cope with long-distance relationships?

Couples cope with long-distance relationships in different ways. Some suppress their negative emotions and try to make the long-distance relationship lasts as long as they can. Others try to work out their problems and attempt to have a healthy and successful long-distance relationship.

How to cope with being in a long-distance relationship?

When you are in the long-distance relationship, you should aim to enjoy it rather than trying to cope with it. Coping implies a struggle. A relationship should contribute to your well-being and happiness and not make it hard for you to be with someone else. That’s why long-distance relationships shouldn’t last for too long.

What if I can’t cope with a long-distance relationship?

If you can’t cope with a long-distance relationship, sometimes it’s better to end it. When you are in love with someone who lives far away, you can try to make your long-distance relationship work for a short while. Effective communication and regular visits will help you to do so. However, being away from your romantic partner for a long time can bring your suffering instead of joy. If that is the case, it can be better for everyone to end your relationship and find a romantic partner with whom you can be together.

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