Are you in a relationship that seems to be failing?
Relationships fail when partners cannot maintain emotional and physical connection. Some of the reasons include insecurities, lack of trust and bad communication. Many challenges are inevitable through out a relationship. But, what makes relationships to fail is the inability of couples to resolve their conflicts and disagreements in a healthy way.
In this article, you will learn the signs of a failing relationship and what you can do about it.
What Does it Mean to Fail in a Relationship?
Let’s have a look at what it means that to fail in a relationship. Here’s what ‘fail’ means according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary
- to lose strength : WEAKEN
to fade or die away
- to stop functioning normally
to fall short
to be or become absent or inadequate
to be unsuccessful
to be unsuccessful in achieving a passing grade
to become bankrupt or insolvent
- to disappoint the expectations or trust of
to miss performing an expected service or function for
- to be deficient in : LACK
- to leave undone : NEGLECT
to be unsuccessful in passing
to grade (someone, such as a student) as not passing
Main Reasons Why Relationships Fail
Relationships can fail because couples don’t know how to manage their relationship. They don’t know how to deal with disagreements and arguments in a healthy way. Hence, couples end up having arguments and unresolved problems.
Some of the main reasons relationships fail are:
- Poor communication
- Inability to express yourself clearly
- Not being able to hear your partner and understand their point of view
- Not knowing how to handle disagreements and resolve conflicts
- Loss of interest in the relationship because feelings fade away
- A boring relationship with the lack of excitement and fun
While there are many reasons for your relationship to fail. One of the main reasons for it to fail is poor communication and the lack of understanding between each other.
Likewise, guilt, blame, shame and ignorance are destructive for any relationship. If you get on as a couple, then you would be happy to put in the effort to make your relationship joyful and exciting.
But, if your circumstances change or you no longer feel the attraction, it’s best to end it. If you get on with each other but aren’t feeling the romance, you can stay friends. To create a successful relationship, you need to understand each other. You also must be able to identify the problems and fix them with effective communication.
Why Do People Fail at Relationships?
A relationship can fail because it run its course. Where the feelings and circumstances of the partners have changed and they no longer have the same goals.
At the same time, you could say that partners fail at their relationship. This can be described as one or both partners didn’t put enough energy into making a relationship work. This could be the case where partners have bad communication and don’t do anything to improve it.
Another example is when partners have different opinions about something. And, instead of finding an amicable solution that fulfils everyone’s needs, they argue and fights to have things their way.
Why Do People Keep Failing at Relationships?
It is quite common for people to have the same problems in different relationships. If you notice your relationships failing for the same reasons. Reflect on these reasons and evaluate how you contribute to the dynamic of your relationship and the problems that occur along the way.
If you find yourself repeating the same mistakes, you may be able to identify the patterns in your behaviour that lead to these specific problems.
These unhealthy patterns can come as a result of your upbringing or past experiences from previous relationships. The first thing you can do to address these patterns is to become aware of your behaviour. Try to be as objective as you can to recognise what exactly you are saying or doing that can potentially be misinterpreted by your partner and lead to a conflict.
Once you become aware of your behaviour, you get a chance to change it.
Signs Your Relationship Is Failing
What Are the Signs of a Failing Relationship?
Here are some signs that your relationship is failing:
- You feel sad, upset, and miserable more often than what you feel happy and fulfilled
- You or your partner have lost interest in your relationship
- You rarely discuss important things with your partner
- Your partner is not making any effort to spend time with you
- You rarely go on dates
- You are no longer making plans for the future
- You don’t share your feelings or intimate things
- You’re feeling confused about why you are in this relationship
- You tried fixing the problems, but nothing works
- Your feelings changed, or you have developed feelings for someone else
- You are sexually frustrated
- You have drifted apart
- Lack of communication and connection.
- Lack of fun and excitement
- You are not sharing your feelings.
- You are not discussing things that are important for you and your relationship
- You or your partner avoid meaningful conversations
- You argue most of the time
Can You Fix a Failing Relationship?
Relationships also fail when you don’t have a strategy to resolve problems. Clarity in your communication can help you maintain understanding and emotional connection. It will also help you resolve problems.
Without effective communication, you won’t be able to express yourself clearly, which will lead to confusion and misunderstandings. Constant misunderstandings lead to unnecessary fights and arguments. Which will ruin your relationship or at least make it very unpleasant.
If you are serious about making your relationship work, effective
communication is the very first thing you should be focusing on.
Can a failing relationship be saved?
If you feel your relationship is failing, you can try to fix the problems that cause this failure.
To fix the problems in your relationship, you have to be at least willing to explore the issues and make some changes. Both you and your partner must be interested in this relationship and in making it work.
While you can try and work on some issues, sometimes the relationship has run its course.
For example, if you are fighting because of misunderstandings, you need to work on your communication. If you’re struggling with the lack of physical intimacy, you can try to spice up your sex life and work on your emotional connection.
However, if your feelings have changed and you drifted apart, it’s time to reassess your relationship and consider moving on.
Ending a Failing Relationship
Many people make unilateral decisions to end their relationship when they can’t seem to make them work. However, this approach guarantees at least one of you feeling hurt. Another downside of ending your relationship this way is that you miss out on the opportunity to get your partner’s feedback and learn how you contributed for this relationship to fail.
Luckily, there’s a healthy alternative that avoids unnecessary drama and at the same time can be very enlightening. This alternative is based on an objective approach to your situation. This is only possible if you and your partner can manage your emotions and have it inside yourselves to hear each other out.
Provided both of these are possible, you can have a discussion about everything that is not working in your relationship. Reflect on the roles each of you play. Give each other feedback on how you perceive your relationship and what you would have liked to be different. Try to work together to find a solution where both of you can have your needs fulfilled even if it means not being with each other.
How to End a Failing Relationship
- Acknowledge your feelings
- Reassess what it’s not working for you in this relationship
- Share your feelings with your partner
- Ask your partner how they feel about your relationship
- Share your worries and concerns
- Together, make a decision that works for both of you
- If you find a way to work it out, you give it a go
- If you can’t find the way to have a healthy discussion to solve your problems consider taking some time apart to reflect.
Relationships fail because partners fight instead of trying to understand each other. Failing relationships are characterised by a lack of physical affection, closeness, intimacy, lack of communication and an inability to resolve problems.
Physical touch reassures you that your relationship is going well and lets you know whenever is a problem. When you no longer have harmony in your relationship, you may start avoiding physical contact. Lack of physical contact makes it hard to navigate your relationship. The only way to maintain the emotional connection and understanding is through effective communication.
A failing relationship can be fixed provided both partners are willing to acknowledge the problems and address the aspects of their relationship that are not working.
When a failing relationship cannot be saved is when either of the partners (or both) are unwilling to recognise the issues and don’t want to make an effort to spend the time address these issues.
Not knowing how to bring these issues up, talk about them or find a solution can also be a reason why a failing relationship can be hard to save. Provided both of you have the willingness but don’t know how to do it, consider getting help from a relationship coach.
Circumstances may change throughout your relationship and your personal and relationship goals may also change. So, you need to adapt to this change and be flexible when navigating your relationship. You can achieve that by having good communication where you feel free to openly express yourself and take the time to hear each other out.
It’s ok to end your relationship, provided you do it in a healthy way where both of you can learn from it to improve your chances to have healthier relationships in the future.
Help and Advice with a Failing Relationship
Tips to Deal with a Relationship that Is Failing
- Don’t ignore the problems in your relationship
- Recognise the behaviour that does’t serve your relationship
- Work on your communication
- Set healthy boundaries
- Maintain your physical and emotional intimacy
- Be honest
- Be understanding with your partner
- Reassess your sexual drives compatibility
- Hear each other’s perspective
- Learn how you are contributing to your relationship
If you don’t know how to deal with your relationship failing, consider professional help. Check out our coaching options here and we’ll be happy to help!
Frequently Asked Questions
What does it make a relationship fail or succeed?
Effective communication can make a different between a failing relationship and the one that lasts a long time.
The willingness to understand each other can make a difference in you feeling connected. Bad communication and the lack of connection and understanding can leave you feeling alone even when you are together.
Why long-distance relationships fail?
Long-distance relationships fail when couples treat it as a complete romantic relationship that can last a long time without a plan to move in together. LDR are great for a short term, provided you have a clear plan and a timeline to be together wherever it may be.
Why open relationships fail?
Open relationships are not design to last for a long time. They exist to satisfy sexual needs that cannot be fulfilled in an exclusive relationship. So, just because they end, it doesn’t mean they fail.
Why relationships fail due to lack of communication?
Without good communication you cannot express yourself clearly nor can you hear your partner. Consequently, you will have a lack of understanding and will find it difficult to build a meaningful and deeper connection. As well as struggle to resolve your problems and disagreements.
Why long-term relationships fail?
Long-term relationships involve being with the same person for a long time. Unless you have a lot of common interests, get on really well and enjoy each other’s company, the mundane life will make your relationship boring and monotonous.
Why young relationships fail?
At the younger age you are still exploring who you are and discovering your preferences, likes and dislikes. So, you may start a relationship based on excitement and physical attraction. However very soon you may discover that your partner have their preferences, goals and ambitions, which may not necessarily align with yours. At the same time, it also takes perseverance, flexibility and constant improvement of self to make a relationship last and be healthy.
Why sexless relationships fail?
The lack of sex in a relationship leads to sexual frustration. This can manifest in a relationship as arguments, avoidance, distance, etc.
Why relationships that move fast fail?
If moving fast means living together, such relationship can fail because there was not enough time to get to know each other. It takes a while to get to know someone well enough to make a lasting relationship. You need to share different experiences over time to really know another person. Otherwise, you can only know about them based on what they say, not on what they do.
Why do my relationships keep failing?
Because you are probably making the same mistakes over and over again. It is common for people to find themselves in a similar situation than their past relationship.
If you find your relationships keep falling apart for the same reasons. It’s worth reflecting on your past experiences to see how you contributed to those relationships.
Why I always fail in relationships?
If you feel you are failing for the same reasons, try to understand what these reasons are. Then, consider how you contributed to your relationships and identify what behaviour of yours could have lead to the problems that caused your relationships to fail.