Why Relationships Fall Apart?

Why Relationships Fall Apart?

Do you want to make your relationship work, but you are struggling to keep your relationship together?

A happy and healthy relationship can greatly contribute to your life in many ways. However, unresolved problems that accumulate over time cause relationships to fall apart. Provided you and your partner have the willingness to work out your issues, you can get your relationship back on track before it is too late.

In this article, you will learn why relationships tend to fall apart and how to decide if you should try to make it work or if it’s time to let it go.

What Causes Relationships to Fall Apart?

Let’s have a look at what it means that a relationship is falling apart. Here’s the definition of falling apart according to the Merriam-webster dictionary

  2. To succumb to mental or emotional stress: BREAK DOWN

There are many reasons why a relationship falls apart. Usually it is due to changes in the relationship where the couple don’t know how to handle them and struggle to adjust to the new dynamic.

Here are some common circumstances that when not knowing how to handle and adapt to the changes they may cause your relationship to fall apart:

  • Engagement
  • Moving in together
  • Getting married
  • Pregnancy
  • Miscarriage
  • Having a baby
  • Illness
  • Routine and boredom
  • Goals changing
  • Financial problems
  • Different sex drives
  • Working patterns
  • Cheating
  • Death of someone close

Here are some behaviours that will damage your relationship over time if not addressed promptly:

  • Not having healthy boundaries
  • Jealousy
  • Insecurities
  • Bickering
  • Lying
  • Disagreements and arguments
  • Lack of empathy
  • Apathy
  • Withdrawing
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Not sharing your thoughts and feelings
  • Blaming each other
  • Being angry at each other
  • Being inconsiderate and ungrateful with your partner
  • Not spending quality time together
  • Not listening to each other
  • Lack of interest in each other
  • Lack of direction in your relationship
  • Manipulation
  • Stop making an effort in your relationship

How Does a Relationship that’s Falling Apart Affect Your Life?

Staying in a relationship that is falling apart can leave you the feeling that you are stuck in the limbo. It’s not bad enough for you to let go of someone you love, yet you cannot seem to find a way to solve the issues.

Being in such situation for a long time is unhealthy. You may start feeling chronic despair and frustration that greatly reduces your quality of life. This situation long-term can leave you feeling depressed. The lack of enthusiasm for life can discourage you from your life goals and ambitions.

When you feel you cannot solve any of your relationship issues, you are likely to feel stressed and anxious.

As a result, negative feelings and unfulfilled needs can affect your behaviour and lead to arguments. If you cannot find a simple solution and approach your problems objectively, more issues will develop.

Another effect is that instead working together towards common goals. You start seeing each other as an enemy and fight over every little thing. You may also stop appreciating each other and would avoid spending time together.

Signs Your Relationship Is Falling Apart

  • Lack of communication
  • Constant arguments and misunderstandings
  • Frustration
  • Annoyance towards each other without provocation
  • Silent treatment
  • Lack of physical and emotional intimacy
  • Not spending time together
  • Unwillingness to address the issues in your relationship
  • You don’t enjoy being together

How to Fix a Relationship that’s Falling Apart

  1. Check with your partner if they also feel that your relationship is falling apart.
  2. Identify why your relationship is falling apart.
  3. Discuss the issues you are having in your relationship and how you feel about it.
  4. Take the time to hear each other out to understand all points of view.
  5. Identify yours and your partner’s needs and see how you can fulfil them.
  6. If you struggle with any of the above coaching can help you identify the problems and see what it would take for you to fix them.

The above process requires effective communication and the willingness from you and your partner to make an effort and dedicate some time towards working things out. If only one of you wants to address the issues it will be next to impossible to make your relationship work. In this case, you may consider ending your relationship and moving on.

Ending a Relationship That’s Falling Apart

When you are in a relationship, it may be hard to let go of your partner. Something brought you together in the beginning and kept you together all this time. You may still have romantic feelings for each other. Yet, for some reason you are still unhappy and unfulfilled.

A healthy relationship requires a lot more than romantic feelings to make it work. While a deeper emotional connection and trust are essential parts of a relationship. You also need to have good communication, know your insecurities and be able to manage your disagreements if you are to make it work. If you don’t know how to express yourself clearly and struggling to hear your partner’s feelings and needs

You may struggle to resolve the problems that you face through out your relationship. Overtime these unresolved problems accumulate.

Unless you find it within yourselves to manage your emotions and addressed these problems objectively. It will be very hard for you to get back to a healthy relationship. If you are to ignore the problems you may very soon find yourselves in an unhealthy relationship that can become toxic.


When it comes to a relationship that is falling apart, you have to options. You can find the way to fix your relationship, provided you and your partner are willing to make an effort and have the capacity to hear each other out. As an alternative, you may take some time apart to give yourselves some personal space to reflect on your relationship and the issues that you are having from a fresh perspective.

After taking some time apart, the solutions to your issues may become obvious. At the same time, you may decide that you are better off ending your relationship and moving on. Whatever you choose to do, learning from your past experiences can help you make healthier and more educated decisions in the future.

Help and Advice with a Relationship that is Falling Apart

Tips to Deal with a Relationship that Is Falling Apart

  • Don’t ignore the problems in your relationship
  • Recognise the behaviour that does’t serve your relationship
  • Work on your communication
  • Set healthy boundaries
  • Maintain your physical and emotional intimacy
  • Be honest
  • Be understanding with your partner
  • Reassess your sexual drives compatibility
  • Hear each other’s perspective
  • Learn how you are contributing to your relationship

If you don’t know how to deal with your relationship that is falling apart and need professional help and advice, we’ll be happy to help! Check out our coaching options here.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you know if a relationship is falling apart?

You are no longer enjoying your time together. You argue about little things instead of working the issues together and finding a mutual beneficial solution.

Why is my relationship falling apart?

Because you are probably making the same mistakes over and over again. It is common for people to find themselves in a similar situation than their past relationship.
If you find your relationships keep falling apart for the same reasons. It’s worth reflecting on your past experiences to see how you contributed to those relationships.

How to deal with a relationship that is falling apart

See the signs that indicate your relationship is falling apart. What do you then. Decide if you can fix it or if it’s time to end it.

What to Do if Your Relationship Is Falling Apart

Be clear on what you want and expect from your relationship
Know yourself
Learn what each of you need
Have dates with your partner to revive your relationship
Stop comparing your relationship to others

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