How to Keep a Long-Distance Relationship Alive

How to Keep a Long-Distance Relationship Alive

To keep your long-distance relationship alive, you need to find a way to maintain an emotional connection. When you’re away from your partner, you don’t have as much physical closeness.

That’s why keeping an emotional connection is even more important in a long-distance relationship than in the regular one. If you love each other and want to be together, consider the following steps to spice up your relationship for the time you have to be apart and beyond.

  1. Open yourselves up to each other
  2. Share your feelings with words and gifts
  3. Keep it spicy, hot and sexy
  4. Make a relationship dream board
  5. Create new memories

Let’s break down each of these steps…

1. Open Yourselves up to Each Other

One of the most fundamental aspects of a healthy relationship is trust. While it takes a long time and many shared experiences to build trust, it takes only one wrong action to break it.

In long-distance relationships, trust is even more important and can be harder to maintain. However, if you love each other and are serious about making your relationship work despite the distance, it’s worth the effort.

In relationships, trust is a double edge sword. On one hand you want to build trust and feel emotional connection. On the other hand, opening yourself up to another person makes you vulnerable. When you feel vulnerable you may start acting defensively even when there is no direct threat to you from the other person.

A healthy way to go about developing trust is by opening yourself up slowly over time. Make sure you can trust your partner with more superficial things before sharing your deeper feelings.

Since trust is a two-way process, both of you need to open up and become vulnerable in order to build deeper connection. If you find challenging to talk about certain topics, doing it through a cards game may be more exciting and interesting and can help you break the ice to deepen your intimacy.

Understanding your own values and beliefs will help you realise if your partner shares what is important for you. Having the same core values and beliefs is extremely important to make a serious relationship work. This deck can help you check your own values and those of your partner.

Here are a few ideas for you to get started.

2. Share Your Feelings with Words and Gifts

When you are together, giving your partner a kiss is enough to express your feelings. However, without seeing each other, like in a long-distance relationship, you rely on communication to express your thoughts, feelings and ideas. The right gift can be a perfect way to deliver a specific message.

Many mistakes long-distance couples make are because they don’t give enough importance to how they communicate. Poor communication is one of the common reasons for long-distance relationships to fail. Without clearly expressing your feelings, doubts and concerns, your partner will struggle to understand how you feel and what you want.

If you would like some guidance on how to improve communication in your long-distance relationship, take a look at this workbook.

Some people struggle to express themselves through words. In this case, choosing the right gift to say the right message is the way to go. A gift can tell your partner how you feel about them and show them how well you know them.

Here are some cool gifts ideas for you and your long-distance partner.

For more gift ideas, click here.

3 Keep It Spicy, Hot and Sexy

A lack of physical intimacy in long-distance relationships is another very common reason for relationships to fail. When it comes to romance, physical touch is all you need to express how you feel at any point in time.

Physical separation puts a barrier between you and your partner. While it is an invisible barrier, it certainly feels very real. Distance gets in the way of physical intimacy, which is an inherent part of a romantic relationship.

So, in that sense, long-distance relationships should only be considered when they are to last for a short while. How long you can last apart and how difficult it will be for you, depends on you and your partner. In particular, the success of your long-distance relationship is based on how well you can maintain emotional connection while apart while having a plan to move in together in the near future.

During the period when you are not able to see each other there are still ways you can keep the romance alive.

So, how do you have a physical romantic experience with your partner when you are thousands of miles away?

Achieving such physical experience requires something tangible that can give you sensory stimulation. At the very basic level, having virtual sex with your partner over a video call is one way to go about it. If you want to spice things up a little, there is a variety of sex toys that can be controlled by you or your partner remotely through an app.

The next time you are thinking of a gift for your partner and one that can give you fun too, consider some of these toys.

Finally, bringing new sexual experiences to your love life the next time you see each other will bring more excitement into your relationship.

You can start by spicing up your intimacy with a sexy deck game with questions to connect and get to know each of your sexual fantasies or be more daring and challenge each other.

Technology is constantly expanding, now you can find sex toys that can be controlled remotely through an app. These sex toys are perfect for long-distance couples as you can give the control to your partner and make the virtual sex even more interacting and exciting. Here are some options for you to explore and enjoy! Make a gift to your partner or make a mutual gift for both of you!

Adding some sassiness to your virtual sex sessions is also important, keeping things interesting, innovative and sexy can help when you cannot touch each other, but it can help building the desire and the closeness to develop your relationship further in other areas.

4. Make a Relationship Dream Board

A dream board is not only a fun way for you to keep engaged with your relationship, it is also a practical tool that will help you and your partner make sure that you are on track with your personal and relationship goals.

Since most of your relationship happens online, it makes sense to use online tools for making your dream boards.

Take a look at Trello and Canva, but otherwise just search for “online dream board”.

The first and by far the main key point when you are creating your relationship dream board is to make it fun. Fill it up with things that you’re excited about like your next visit or the trip you would be planning together or the process of moving in and having a family if this is what you want.

You can use our book on how to plan a long-distance relationship to give you some guidance to create a realistic and actionable plan for your relationship.

Once you find a tool for making your dream board, you are ready to set some personal and relationship goals. If you need some help with that, we have a step-by-step guide that you can get by clicking here.

While having a dream board is a fun addition to your relationship, it can also be a way for you to manage the distance and create a healthy and loving relationship.

Finally, to I achieve your dreams and goals, don’t forget to set specific dates for when you want it to happen. Here are some simple tools that can help you brainstorm to create your dream board.

5. Create New Memories

An interesting and exciting life is full of experiences. In that a relationship is no exception.

When you are sharing a big part of your life with another person you go through it together, sharing experiences, creating new memories and growing together.

So, how can you create new memories and grow as a couple when you’re in a long-distance relationship?

You can certainly have emotional experiences when you are a part. However, having common memories and photos of the two of you requires you being physically together.

A great way to create new memories is to go on trips together. Even one-week holiday can fill you up with emotions that will help you maintain connection and stay together when you are physically apart. It can even save your relationship if it is falling apart because you can no longer handle the distance in a healthy way.


Keeping the spark alive can literally make or break your long-distance relationship. With all the problems, struggles and challenges it is easy to lose sight of the joy of being together.

We’ve looked at five steps you can take today to bring a breath of fresh air into your relationship. At the core of a happy and healthy relationship lies your appreciation for having each other in your lives. The next step is showing this appreciation and expressing it in the way your partner understands, be it through words, gifts or shared experiences.

As a word of caution, keep an eye on the general state of your relationship. It may be the case that what you need right now is some time apart. And, in this case, any effort you would make to keep it going may be in vain.

That said, provided you and your partner are really keep on making your long-distance relationship work, most other challenges can be overcome!

Frequently Asked Questions

How long can a long-distance relationship last without seeing each other?

Some long-distance couples go for years, while others break up after a few months. While you can make your long-distance relationship last a long time, perhaps consider focusing on the quality of your relationship and how it contributes to your personal life.

How to make your partner feel special in a long distance relationship?

To make your partner feel special, you should learn about what they value in life in general and in a relationship in particular. Some appreciate openness, honesty, self-expression and the sharing of feelings. Others, may respond better to gifts or more frequent visits. In some cases, it is sharing the experiences together that have the most value and meaning.

How to maintain a long-distance relationship with your partner?

The two keys to maintaining a healthy long-distance relationship are to stay emotionally connected by working on your communication and keeping physical intimacy through frequent visits and quality time together.

How to keep and maintain a long-distance relationship?

To keep and maintain your long-distance relationship you should make it fun and exciting. To do that you need to spend more time living your life and less time talking about it.

How to keep a new long-distance relationship?

You shouldn’t keep a new long-distance relationship for too long. After a few months of getting to know someone online, you have to meet them to see what it’s like to be together.

How to keep the passion alive in a long-distance relationship?

To keep the passion alive in your long-distance relationship, you need to feel passionate about your personal lives and your relationship. If you have open and clear communication, you can always share your feelings with your long-distance partner. This will help you keep an emotional connection while you are away.

How to be patient in a long-distance relationship?

Patience is a virtue. In a long-distance relationship, it can make a difference between creating a healthy and happy relationship or ending it. Being patient is only good for some things and a short while. Your long-distance relationship should be based on love and understanding, not on patience.

How to stay positive in a long-distance relationship?

Keeping positive in a long-distance relationship all the time can be hard. When you do feel positive and happy, make sure to share these feelings with your long-distance partner. If you feel negative feelings, talk about them with your long-distance partner, find out what is causing them, and together come up with a way to change things.

How to keep intimacy in a long-distance relationship?

A healthy relationship has physical intimacy and emotional intimacy. In a long-distance relationship, physical intimacy is only possible during your visits. This leaves emotional intimacy in charge of you being connected to your long-distance partner.

How to keep yourself busy in a long-distance relationship?

When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you must have your personal life. A long-distance relationship is a perfect opportunity for you to do the things you want to do.

How to keep communication in a long-distance relationship?

Communication is the key to have a successful long-distance relationship. Whichever way you choose to communicate with your long-distance partner, make sure what you say is clear and easy to understand.

How to keep connected in a long-distance relationship?

You don’t need to spend a lot of time talking to each other to keep connected. A connection is about trust and understanding. So the quality of your communication is much more important than the quantity.

How to keep feelings in a long-distance relationship?

Feelings change all the time. A long-distance relationship is not an exception. What is important is to keep on top of your feelings. To do that you should be able to freely express yourself to your long-distance partner and welcome the expression of their feelings.

How to keep trust in a long-distance relationship?

One way to keep trust in a long-distance relationship is through open, clear, and effective communication. If you and your long-distance partner know that there are no limits as to what you can share, you’ll be able to have everything out in the open.

How Healthy Is Your Long-Distance Relationship?

If you are having doubts about your long-distance relationship and are not sure if you should try to fix it or let it go, here is our step by step guide to help you and your partner reassess your relationship and make an educated decision that works for both of you.

Relationship Coaching for Long-Distance Couples

Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain without knowing exactly what they involve.

However, once you understand what long-distance relationships are, what they are not and how to navigate them, you are a lot more likely to make it work.

We specialise in helping long-distance couples create and maintain a healthy relationship by building intimacy, trust and effective communication.

If you are starting a long-distance relationship or are already in one, send us a message to book an individual coaching session for yourself or a couples coaching session for you and your partner.

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