How to Tell if a Long-Distance Relationship Is Serious?

How to Tell if a Long-Distance Relationship Is Serious

Curious if your long-distance relationship is heading toward something serious?

Long-distance relationships are a unique journey, requiring commitment and understanding. Navigating the complexities of distance can be tricky, but there are definite signs that can help you gauge the depth of your connection.

To tell if your long-distance relationship is serious, look for signs like regular communication, talking about the future together, sharing feelings, trying to spend time together despite the distance, being open about your lives, showing interest in each other’s dreams, making quality time a priority, dealing with problems maturely, matching words with actions, and showing affection through actions. These things show that both of you are committed to making the relationship strong and lasting.

In this article, we’ll explore some key signs that your relationship is serious and red flags to point out when it’s not.

Signs Your Long-Distance Relationship Is Serious

Once you’ve known your partner for a few months, you may feel ready to take it to the next level. But, is your partner ready? Let’s take a look at some signs that can shine a light on you.

We’ll also give you some questions to help you assess the seriousness of your long-distance relationship. Your answers will provide valuable insights into the depth of your relationship, helping you make informed decisions. Along the way, we’ll provide suggestions to explore more articles to deepen your understanding of that particular topic.

Your communication is consistent and meaningful

Effective communication forms the backbone of any relationship, especially in long-distance relationships.

A serious relationship involves regular communication that goes beyond mere updates. Look for signs of depth in your conversations, such as sharing personal experiences, dreams, and vulnerabilities.

The willingness to invest time and energy in maintaining open and honest communication signifies a deeper connection. Remember to talk regularly and frequently, while avoiding excessive communication.

Talk to your partner the same way you’d like them to talk to you.

  • Do we have regular, consistent communication that goes beyond just checking in?
  • Are our conversations deep, where we share personal thoughts, feelings, and dreams?
  • Do we make time to connect even with busy schedules and time zone differences?

You have shared goals and make future plans

Serious long-distance relationships often involve discussions about the future. If you find yourselves talking about your plans together, like visiting each other, eventual relocation, or other shared aspirations, it indicates a commitment to building a life together.

Planning for the future demonstrates a genuine intent to keep growing as a couple.

If setting goals and making a plan is not your suit, our workbook will help you identify what goals are important for you, your partner and your relationship.

  • Do we talk about and have a plan for moving in together?
  • You we have the willingness and the means to close the physical gap?
  • So we share life goals and make sacrifices to achieve them?
  • Have we discussed plans for meeting in person or visiting each other’s locations?
  • Do we talk about potential future relocations?
  • Are we both aligned on our long-term aspirations and goals?

You support each other and show emotional availability

Partners in serious long-distance relationships prioritise being there for each other emotionally. Providing support during challenging times and celebrating each other’s successes shows a level of emotional investment that’s vital for a strong bond. Sharing both joys and struggles fosters a sense of unity and trust.

  • Do we provide each other with emotional support during difficult times?
  • Are we comfortable opening up about our challenges and seeking comfort from each other?
  • Do we celebrate each other’s achievements and milestones, no matter how big or small?

You spend quality time together and stay emotionally intimate

While physical presence might be limited, serious long-distance couples make the most of the time they do have together, be it through video chatting, online games, or watching movies simultaneously.

These interactions reinforce the connection and make the relationship feel more real despite the physical gap.

As long as you have common interests and enjoy spending time together, you should be able to maintain an emotional connection the same way as regular couples.

Just remember the importance of physical intimacy and close proximity, so make sure you see each other in person.

If you want a serious long-distance relationship, it’s not enough to talk about moving in and living together. You also need to spend money to make it happen.

  • Do we prioritise spending quality time together, even if it’s through virtual means?
  • Are we intentional about creating shared experiences and enjoying activities together?
  • Do we feel a sense of closeness and intimacy during our interactions, despite the physical distance?

You trust each other completely

A strong foundation of trust is essential in any relationship, and it’s particularly crucial in a long-distance one. If both partners are transparent about their lives, activities, and social circles, it shows a level of trust and security.

Feeling comfortable discussing both positive and challenging aspects of life demonstrates maturity in the relationship. You trust each other and can talk openly and freely about your feelings.

Long-distance couples that doubt each other, struggle to make their long-distance relationships work and are more likely to break up.

  • Are we open and honest about our lives, including our social circles and daily activities?
  • Do we trust each other to respect our individual spaces and maintain transparency?
  • Are we comfortable discussing any concerns or doubts that arise in the relationship?

You handle challenges together

Serious long-distance relationships encounter obstacles, but what sets them apart is how partners handle these challenges. Working together to recognise problems and find solutions, compromising, and supporting each other during tough times showcases a commitment to making the relationship work, even in the face of difficulties.

If you reach the point where you are feeling afraid and losing hope, remind yourself why you are in this long-distance relationship to begin with.

Sometimes, when things get tough, you need hope. Otherwise, whenever you spot red flags or start to doubt your ability to make your long-distance relationship work, talk about your concerns right away.

Make it a rule to never point to your partner doing something wrong. Instead, see it as their way of doing things in many different ways it can be done.

  • Do we work collaboratively to overcome challenges that arise in our relationship?
  • Are we willing to compromise and find solutions when conflicts or disagreements occur?
  • Do we support and uplift each other during tough times, showing a commitment to weathering challenges as a team?

Let’s review a few signs that your partner is serious about making your long-distance relationship work. Provided they tick all the boxes, you know your struggles come from challenges that you need to overcome together.

If, however, your partner isn’t serious, the chances are, they aren’t interested in a long-term relationship, so may want to reassess your expectations.

How to Know if Your Long-Distance Partner Is Serious

A serious long-distance relationship involves commitment, common goals, and doing all you can to achieve these goals.

One way to know if your partner is serious about a long-distance relationship is by the amount of energy they are putting into making your long-distance relationship work.

When all they do is talk about how much they want to be with you without doing something about it, they are likely not very serious.

Here’s a list of specific behaviours that suggest your long-distance partner is serious about your relationship:

They communicate regularly and frequently

Your partner consistently reaches out through texts, calls, and video chats, showing they want to be part of your daily life. Regular contact reflects their intention to maintain a strong connection, even when physically apart.

They listen actively and address concerns, creating healthy communication and understanding. Handling disagreements with respect and consideration strengthens the relationship.

They make future plans

Your partner is open to talking about their plans and wants you with them for the long run, indicating a desire for a long-term relationship.

Involving you in their long-term plan signifies that they see you as a significant part of their life and are invested in building something meaningful.

Your partner shows emotional vulnerability

They open up about their feelings, thoughts, and experiences, aiming to create emotional closeness. Sharing their inner world shows a willingness to connect on a deeper level, fostering intimacy and understanding.

When your partner misses you, they aren’t afraid to show it.

They make efforts to bridge the physical gap

Your partner likes to spend time planning visits or finding ways to participate in your world. Not only does your partner talk about the hope of visiting, but they actually spend money to come and see you as often as they can, despite the busy schedule.

They not only talk, but follow words with actions. They are spending time to come see you in person and get to know you better.

Your partner is always open and honest

They’re open about their activities, social life, family members and friends. Being honest is essential to build trust and avoid misunderstandings.

They are genuinely interested in you

They show genuine interest in your aspirations and challenges, offering support and encouragement. Their attentiveness to your life demonstrates care and a desire to be a positive presence.

You can’t help but feel special every time you talk to them. Part of being interested in your life also includes wanting to know about your family and friends.

Your partner values quality time with you

They prioritise spending quality time with you, valuing the connection. Making time for each other indicates that they cherish the moments you share.

They demonstrate their love and affection in practical ways

They make plans and follow through. And, no matter how busy they are, they always have time for a good night text. Actions that reflect their feelings, reinforce the depth of your connection.

Remember, every relationship is unique, so these behaviours might vary. Assessing your partner’s actions and intentions over time will help you see how serious and dedicated they are. Trust your intuition and have honest conversations about how you feel and what you expect.

People show their love and care in different ways. Some people send gifts, while others buy tickets and come for a surprise visit.

Signs Your Long-Distance Relationship Isn’t Serious

While long-distance relationships can be rewarding, they also come with their share of challenges. It’s important to assess whether your connection is progressing towards a meaningful future.

While long-distance relationships can be wonderful, here are some signs that the relationship might not be as serious as you’d hope:

Communication discrepancies

A lack of consistent communication and meaningful conversations might suggest that the relationship isn’t a priority. When communication becomes sporadic and lacks depth, it could indicate that your partner is no longer interested in having you in their life.

Visitation imbalance

Only one partner is visiting all the time. In serious long-distance relationships, both partners should work towards bridging the physical gap. If the visits are one-sided, it could be a sign of imbalance, which can lead to negative feelings.

Infrequent messages or one-sided conversations could be indicative of a lack of investment. Both partners should actively participate in keeping the connection alive.

Avoidance to make plans

When conversations about the long-term plan to eventually close the physical gap are avoided, it might indicate that a relationship is more transient and lacks dedication in the long run.

Serious relationships involve discussing the path ahead and making joint decisions. You haven’t seen each other in a few months and have no plans to.

Emotional disconnect

When your partner isn’t consistently there for you when you need them or doesn’t show genuine interest in your life, it might signal a lack of emotional connection.

A strong bond is built on mutual support and genuine care.

Limited interaction

Limited quality time and avoidance of engaging in activities, like watching movies together or having deep conversations, could indicate a lack of dedication to keep the bond alive.

Meaningful interactions are vital in sustaining a serious relationship.

Inconsistent signals

Mixed signals and confusing or inconsistent behaviour might point to uncertainty about the relationship’s importance. A genuine dedication is reflected in consistent actions and clear communication.

Trust issues

Secrecy, dishonesty, or a reluctance to share about your lives could suggest a lack of trust or willingness to be open with one another. Trust is a foundation of serious relationships and requires transparency.

Jealousy and distrust

Excessive jealousy or lack of trust can be signs of underlying issues that hinder a serious connection. Healthy relationships are built on trust and mutual respect.

Unresolved conflicts

When conflicts are consistently left unresolved or ignored, it could show a lack of commitment to working through difficulties. When negative feelings aren’t expressed, they lead to doubts, frustrations unnecessary arguments and fights.

Healthy relationships involve addressing issues constructively and finding solutions together.

Recognising signs that your long-distance relationship might not be reaching a serious level is an important step in evaluating your expectations.

Remember, these signs aren’t set in stone. Talking to your partner is key. What if you discover that your relationship isn’t as serious as you thought?

If your long-distance relationship isn’t serious, doesn’t mean it can’t work. You can still enjoy each other’s company and have fun together. You can visit each other when you want and talk to each other when you feel like it. You might also choose to see other people.

If things aren’t serious at the moment, it doesn’t mean that they can’t evolve into a more serious relationship later on.

Related reading:

When to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Official?

Deciding when to make your long-distance relationship official is a common question. It’s best to take this step when you both feel a strong connection and have spent quality time together, even if it’s through video calls.

Remember, there’s no rush! When the time feels right and you’re both excited about taking things to the next level, that’s the perfect moment to make it official. Trust your instincts and enjoy the journey!

Making a long-distance relationship official is a significant step that involves clarity and mutual understanding.

  1. Establish a strong foundation of communication and trust. Spend enough time getting to know each other’s values, interests, and goals. Video calls and messaging can help create a sense of closeness.
  2. As you continue to connect, pay attention to the level of emotional intimacy you’re developing. Are you sharing your thoughts, feelings and dreams? This vulnerability is a sign that you’re ready to open up and trust each other.
  3. Remember, there’s no fixed timeline. The decision to make it official should feel right for both of you. Trust your gut feeling and communicate openly. This step is about strengthening your connection and moving forward together, no matter the physical miles between you.

Long-distance relationships are serious when both partners have a plan and a timeline to move in and live together. It should extend beyond hope, you also must have the means to make it happen.

The moment you decide that what you want is to live together and have a full romantic relationship, that’s when you can make it official. Making your long-distance relationship official means sharing your intentions with your family and friends. You may also decide to change your social media profile.

To have a serious long-distance relationship, you should have trust and understanding. And, your commitment needs to come from your love and care for each other. Should you have any trust issues or concerns, check out our step-by-step guide to fix them.

How to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Official?

Here are the steps on how to make your long-distance relationship official:

  1. Have an open and honest conversation about making your relationship official.
  2. Discuss your feelings and intentions. It’s important that both of you are on the same page and excited about the idea.
  3. Consider factors like your long-term plans, how often you can visit each other, and how you’ll manage the distance.
  4. Make sure you trust each other.
  5. Be comfortable sharing your feelings openly and honestly with each other.
  6. Agree on short-term and long-term goals for your long-distance relationship.
  7. Make a realistic plan to move in together.
  8. Said let’s plan in motion and have a timeline for how and when you will be able to move in together.
  9. Check that both of you have the means to move.
  10. Live together for a couple of months to check that you are still happy with each other at the end of it.

Signs of a Fake Long-Distance Relationship

Spotting signs of a fake long-distance relationship is important to protect your heart and time. 🚩 Here are some indicators to watch out for:

Limited communication – One person consistently avoids video chatting.

Lack of transparency – Your partner is vague about their life, avoids sharing personal details, or seems secretive.

Unwillingness to meet – Your partner always finds excuses to delay or avoid this topic. A real dedication involves planning to meet in person

Too good to be true – When everything seems unrealistically perfect, it could be a sign. Genuine relationships have ups and downs; be cautious of a constant ‘storybook’ vibe.

Refusal to video Call – If your partner avoids showing their face on video, it could be a sign they’re not who they claim to be.

Asking for money – Be cautious if your partner suddenly asks for financial help. It’s a red flag, especially if the reason seems suspicious.

Inconsistent Stories – If your partner’s stories don’t add up over time, it might mean they’re not being truthful about their life.

Limited social media presence – In today’s digital age, a lack of social media presence or overly private profiles might raise suspicions.

Avoiding long-term plans – Your partner avoids conversations about future plans together. Genuine relationships involve discussing future goals.

Gut feeling – If something feels off or doesn’t align, don’t ignore your inner voice. Trust your own feelings and instincts.

Extra space – When the emotional space between partners increases, it’s a sign that something’s wrong. While there are many different ways to interpret the extra space, it can suggest that your partner:

  • needs some alone time
  • needs to focus on their own goals
  • wants to spend time with friends and family members
  • has busy schedule
  • isn’t good at communicating feelings
  • having doubt
  • is afraid of commitment
  • may feel guilty about something
  • is no longer interested
  • lost hope

Extra space can also be a sign that you are headed for a break. So, if you are feeling emotionally distant, talk to your partner to see if your relationship is still going in the right direction or did something happened and you need to reassess. Check out this workbook to learn how to handle the distance in your relationship.

Remember, it’s essential to have open conversations and address your concerns with your partner. If they’re genuine, they’ll understand your worries and work together to build trust. If you notice several of these signs, it’s wise to reevaluate the relationship’s authenticity.


Wondering if your long-distance relationship is the real deal? Determining the seriousness of a long-distance relationship involves looking at various aspects that contribute to its depth and growth. Keep an eye out for some telltale signs:

  • Are you both talking often and openly about what’s next?
  • Do you share your feelings and try to bridge the gap with visits or virtual hangouts?
  • Are you both showing interest in each other’s lives and dreams?
  • Do you work together to solve issues?

These are the markers that your relationship is serious and built to last despite the miles between you.

Remember, every relationship is unique, and the journey is about discovering what feels right for both of you. By paying attention to these indicators, you can gain a clearer understanding of whether your long-distance love story is moving toward a deeper and more meaningful connection.

A healthy relationship requires trust and the ability to express your feelings openly and freely without the fear of judgment or criticism.

Nothing wrong with a casual relationship, as long as both you and your partner are happy with it. Suppose one partner wants a serious relationship and the other is more keen on a casual one, things can get complicated very quickly.

Here’s a quick rundown of questions to tell if your long-distance relationship is serious:

  • Are you communicating frequently?
  • Are you sharing your feelings?
  • Do you trust each other?
  • Are you honest with each other?
  • Do you see each other frequently?
  • Do you have a plan to move in together?
  • Do you have common interests?
  • Do you have similar life goals?

If you discover that you and your long-distance partner want different things, it’s better to find someone else who wants the same type of relationship as you.

Feeling uncertain about your long-distance relationship? Not sure if it’s worth fixing or letting go? Our step-by-step guides are here to help you and your partner take a closer look. Together, you can reevaluate your relationship and make a well-informed decision that’s right for both of you.

Long-distance relationships can be tough to navigate, but understanding their ins and outs can make all the difference. Our expertise lies in helping long-distance couples like you build strong and healthy relationships by fostering intimacy, trust, and effective communication.

Whether you’re starting a new long-distance journey or are already on one, reach out to us for individual coaching sessions or couples’ coaching. Let’s work together to make your long-distance relationship thrive with the right support and tools.

Frequently Asked Questions about Serious Long-Distance Relationships

How do you know if a long-distance relationship is serious?

You know your long-distance relationship is serious when you are ready to move to a different place to be with the person you love. Your long-distance relationship is serious if both you and your partner are making an effort to see each other in person. Talking about moving in and living together isn’t enough. You should have a clear plan, a timeline, and the means to make it work.

How many months until a relationship is serious?

It would be best if you spent a few months getting to know each other online and then a few more months visiting each other. If you consider living together, try to move in for some time to see if you’re still happy together. And if after all that you are enjoying each other’s company, then you can make your long-distance relationship official. Once you have your status as an ldr boyfriend or girlfriend, there is a degree of commitment associated with it.

How do you know if someone is serious about you in a long-distance relationship?

You know that someone is serious about you in a long-distance relationship if they are making an effort to connect online and visit you in person. You know things are serious when you have a common goal and are working towards it together. Having a serious relationship means both of you care for each other, want to be together and do all you can to make it happen.

How long should you date long-distance before making it official?

The timing varies for each couple. When you feel a strong connection, trust, and compatibility, it’s worth discussing exclusivity. Open communication about your feelings and expectations can guide you toward making the relationship official.

At what point is a relationship considered long-distance?

Generally, a relationship is considered long-distance when partners live far enough apart that regular in-person visits require planning and effort. The exact distance can vary, but it often involves different cities or even countries.

How long should I wait to meet someone from online long-distance?

There’s no fixed rule, but once you’ve built a strong connection and trust through online communication, meeting in person can be a great step. Trust your instincts and ensure you both feel comfortable before planning a visit.

Is 2 hours considered a long-distance relationship?

A 2-hour distance can be manageable for regular visits, but it might still present challenges in terms of coordinating schedules. It’s important to communicate openly about your expectations and willingness to make the effort to see each other.

How do I know if my long-distance relationship is real?

Long-distance relationships can be genuine when you feel a strong emotional connection, trust, and open communication with your partner. If you both invest time and effort, share dreams and fears, and support each other’s growth, your relationship is likely real and meaningful.

How to know if someone is lying in a long-distance relationship?

Honest communication is key. If you notice inconsistencies in their stories, frequent excuses, or avoidance of video calls, it might raise concerns. Trust your intuition, and address your doubts calmly. Open conversations can help uncover the truth and strengthen your bond.

What are the red flags on long-distance online dating?

Look out for lack of transparency, reluctance to share personal details, avoiding plans, or pressuring you for financial support or favours. If they avoid video calls or meeting in person, it’s a warning sign. Healthy relationships are built on honesty, respect, and a genuine desire to connect.

Buy Me a Coffee at

Similar Posts