Starting a Long-Distance Relationship

Starting a long-distance relationship

Starting a long-distance relationship can be exciting, especially if you can brainstorm fun ideas to spice it up. It’s an opportunity to make a new friend or to build a long-term romantic relationship. But it’s also easy to make mistakes. This is your opportunity to get it right from the beginning.

Long-distance relationships are formed for various reasons, such as strong emotional connections, career or educational opportunities, online dating, and cultural exchange. People are drawn to these relationships despite the challenges because of shared interests, chemistry, past connections, or the hope for a future closeness. Despite the geographical distance, people have a strong chance to make their long-distance relationship work, provided they know how to handle the distance and navigate their emotions and challenges along the way.

In this article, we’re going to explore the fascinating world of long-distance relationships! We’ll take a look at a few ways couples find themselves in long-distance relationships and review some pros and cons, so you can decide if it’s the right fit for you. We’ve also put together some helpful tips and ideas on how to prepare and start your long-distance journey on the right foot!

Let’s dive in and discover the joys and challenges of long-distance love together!

What Is a Long-Distance Relationship?

What is a long-distance relationship?

A long-distance relationship (LDR) is a relationship of romantic nature where partners are separated by a geographical distance. They are great for a short while, but they become increasingly difficult to maintain the longer they last.

A long-distance relationship is different from a normal relationship in that physical closeness is limited, leaving each partner feeling a mix of longing and anticipation for the next time they can be together.

In a long-distance relationship, most communication is online, so video chat is the primary way to stay connected. While video chat is great for partners to feel connected, it doesn’t offer the same feeling as when you talk face to face, see each other’s body language and simply feel each other’s presence more intensely.

Many couples approach an online relationship as they would a normal relationship. They expect romance and physical affection. At some point, distance becomes an inconvenience and a burden. So when the excitement wears out, the struggles begin and the whole experience becomes all about surviving rather than thriving.

Why People Start Long-Distance Relationships

People start long-distance relationships for various reasons, each driven by unique circumstances and emotions. You may find yourself in a long-distance relationship with someone you just met or with your existing partner.

While the challenges of being apart can be significant, the rewards and motivations for starting a long-distance relationship can be equally compelling. Here are some common reasons why people choose to enter into long-distance relationships:

  • connection and chemistry
  • career or educational opportunities
  • online dating and social media
  • reconnecting with a past love
  • travel and vacation romances
  • emotional connection and compatibility
  • preparation for future closeness
  • cultural exchange and diversity
  • shared interests and hobbies
  • existing relationships transitioning to long-distance
  • long-distance marriage due to work commitments or relocation

A long-distance romantic relationship is built on trust, communication, and mutual commitment. Some couples decide to stay involved long-distance despite all the challenges. For some people, the rewards of love and connection outweigh the geographical separation, making a long-distance relationship a worthwhile and fulfilling experience.

That said, let’s help you decide if a long-distance relationship is right for you…

Is Long-Distance Relationship Worth It for You?

Is it worth starting a long-distance relationship?

Deciding whether to embark on a long-distance relationship is a journey filled with emotions and uncertainties. If you find yourself at this crossroads, wondering if the effort is truly worth it, check out our article that will guide you in making the right choice. Here’re some of the factors that will influence your decision:

  • how strong is your emotional connection
  • can you both commit to the journey ahead
  • trust and communication – the pillars of love
  • cherishing moments together
  • personal growth – embracing independence
  • a vision for the future
  • coping with the emotions

Distance has the tendency to make every partner feel disconnected. So, unless partners learn how to communicate effectively online, they will face many problems.

Take the time to listen to your heart and evaluate the strength of your connection. Remember that every relationship is unique, and what works for others may not necessarily work for you.

Spend a few months getting to know each other. If you discover a romantic attraction, common goals and values, see how your relationship develops and consider closing the distance. On the other hand, you may discover a friend that you can visit for a holiday.

Before Starting a Long-Distance Relationship

So, you’ve met a special someone and discovered that you share strong feelings for each other. Your next step is to learn what it takes to make a long-distance relationship work, in case things will get serious and you’ll want to move in together.

In the meantime:

  • Understand your own values, beliefs, and preferences
  • Before you start looking for a partner, ask yourself, what you want from this relationship.
  • Who is your ideal partner? (Knowing what you’re looking for in a partner will make it easier to choose the right one.)

We have a whole article about everything you should consider before starting a long-distance relationship.

How to Talk about Starting a Long-Distance Relationship?

Starting a conversation about having a relationship can be tricky. Talking about your feelings is a great way to start a relationship the right way. If you ever get stuck, try the following:

  1. Get clear about what you are feeling exactly (excitement, physical attraction, intellectual interest, etc.).
  2. Share your feelings openly and honestly with your special someone.
  3. Ask them how they are feeling.
  4. Don’t expect them to tell you what you want to hear.
  5. Be ok with everything they say.
  6. Ask what the other person wants.

You may find that both of you want the same thing, and that’s great! But, don’t be afraid of a little disappointment or sadness if it turns out that your feelings aren’t mutual or you want different things in life and your relationship. This is an example where honesty outweighs short-term disappointment.

Emotions Revealed by Paul Ekman can help you become more familiar with people’s emotions. Once you can better recognise your partner’s emotions, you can create a loving relationship from the very beginning.

If you want to find a partner who shares your values and beliefs, take a look at our workbook on how to find the right partner. It will help you get clear on what you want from a relationship and who you want as your special someone.

Questions to Ask When Starting a Long-Distance Relationship

When starting a long-distance relationship, asking the right questions can help establish a strong foundation and set expectations for both partners. Here are some questions to help you get started:

  • What are our long-term goals?
  • How often will we communicate?
  • What modes of communication will we use?
  • How will we handle time zone differences?
  • What are our expectations for visits?
  • How will we handle conflicts and misunderstandings?
  • What are our love languages?
  • Are we exclusive?
  • What are our priorities outside the relationship?
  • How will we stay connected to each other’s lives?
  • What do we want to achieve in this relationship?
  • Do we have a plan to close the distance eventually?
  • What are our boundaries and deal-breakers?
  • How can we support each other emotionally?
  • What role will trust play in our relationship?
  • Do you want a fling or are you looking for a life partner to build a family with?

Asking these questions and having honest conversations on a variety of topics can strengthen your long-distance relationship and lay the groundwork for a fulfilling and successful journey together.

Also, check out our full article on different types of questions to ask in a long-distance relationship. It’s a fun way to talk about various topics that might be tricky or awkward to bring up.

If you are unsure of how to express your feelings in a way your partner can hear and understand you, consider booking a coaching session. During our time together, you’ll get to share what’s on your mind and in your heart and together we’ll find a way to put it across to your partner.

How to Start a Long-Distance Relationship

When you start a long-distance relationship, you should check if you are compatible and figure out if you are looking for the same things in a relationship. Being honest and open-minded will help you maintain transparency and clarity when it comes to making the right and potentially life-changing decisions.

1. Take Time to Get to Know Each Other

Spend time getting to know each other better. Engage in meaningful conversations, share personal stories, and explore each other’s interests and values.

  • Be honest and open-minded about your intentions from the very beginning. 
  • Find out if you want the same things. 
  • Discover each other’s personalities, values, and beliefs.
  • Enjoy your conversations
  • Let your relationship develop naturally
  • Get creative and have fun

2. Establish Connection

A strong emotional connection is equally important with someone you’ve already met and spent time with in person or someone you’ve connected with through online platforms.

Before making any promises and commitments, make sure you are on the same page in terms of your feelings. Get to know each other and allow your relationship to evolve in its own time and pace.

  • Share how you feel about each other and your relationship.
  • Get to know each other and enjoy this new experience.
  • Tell them what you enjoyed about their company and ask how they feel about you.
  • It’s good to know if your feelings are mutual.
  • Check that you feel the same way.

3. Build Trust and Open Communication

Establish clear communication patterns that work for both of you. Decide on the frequency and mode of communication to stay connected regularly. Here are a few tips to establish trust through open and honest communication:

  • Create a safe space where you can freely share your feelings, thoughts, and vulnerabilities
  • Be open about your feelings, concerns, and any challenges you might face
  • Get on the same page about the modes and frequency of your communication
  • Agree on how often you’ll communicate
  • Embrace various communication tools, such as phone calls, video chat, texting, social media, and other online tools to create a sense of togetherness.

4. Assess Your Compatibility

Evaluate your compatibility as potential partners. Consider your shared interests, values, and long-term goals to determine if you are well-matched for a committed long-distance relationship.

Before embarking on a long-distance relationship, it is crucial to assess your readiness for such a commitment. Reflecting on individual goals and priorities will help you understand if your life paths align and if you are prepared to embrace the challenges that distance entails.

5. Define the Nature of Your Relationship

Determine the nature of your relationship, whether you are exclusive or open to dating others while apart. – What do you want from the relationship?

  • Are you looking for a friend, a fling, or a more serious relationship?
  • Are you looking for a platonic friend, a casual relationship, a fling, or maybe you want a more serious relationship and perhaps marriage?
  • Check that both of you are interested in the same kind of relationship.
  • Check to see that you are on the same page.
  • Are you ready to start exploring your relationship at a deeper level?

6. Communicate Your Intentions

Whether you are looking for a platonic friend, a casual relationship online or a potential life partner, the most important thing is honest communication. Being open about your intentions and desires ensures a genuine connection, leading to a more meaningful and touching relationship experience.

7. Create Shared Goals and Vision

To anchor your long-distance relationship, discuss your long-term plans and aspirations. Dialogues about future visits, the possibility of closing the distance, and shared life goals will give you a sense of direction for your relationship.

  • Establish shared values and relationship goals
  • Set your personal and relationship goals
  • Make a plan to achieve these goals
  • Remember your personal goals

The success of a healthy and happy relationship to a large degree depends on the individual fulfilment and satisfaction of each partner. So, when starting a new relationship, check that your union will contribute to your personal goals and development. And, take snapshots throughout your relationship to check that you are on track with achieving your personal goals.

Many long-distance couples really struggle to make it work without having a clear direction. To help you along, we’ve created a guide that will make setting personal and relationship goals a breeze.

8. Set Realistic Expectations

Have an open conversation about how you will be managing expectations in your relationship.

  • Talk about your desires, intentions, and willingness to navigate the distance together.
  • Discuss and set clear expectations for the relationship ahead.
  • Make sure your expectations are realistic
  • Get clear on what you expect from the other person and from this relationship
  • Ask your partner what they want and expect from being with you
  • Be realistic about the challenges
  • Don’t expect a complete romantic relationship

People expect a long-distance relationship to be just like a normal one. This is a mistake and is also a reason why this type of relationship is notorious for being hard. LDRs have this reputation because people make it into something that it’s not.

Having a relationship online is an opportunity to get to know someone with the idea of one day living together. Expecting a complete romantic relationship without physical intimacy is like expecting to drive a car without fuel. You can only push it so far before you get tired.

9. Discuss Future Plans

Talk about your future plans and if there’s a possibility of eventually closing the distance. Having a shared vision can provide hope and direction for the relationship.

10. Discuss Physical Intimacy

Intimacy is one of the main areas of concern for long-distance couples. So, if you would like to get ahead and avoid unnecessary intimacy issues, discuss how important physical intimacy is for each of you. If one partner needs physical connection more than the other, for them being apart will be more difficult.

11. Plan Visits When Possible

Spending time together is essential for building a strong and meaningful relationship. A long-distance relationship meeting is usually filled with excitement and anticipation as long-distance couples finally reunited after months apart.

If possible, plan visits to spend time together in person. Visits can strengthen your bond and provide cherished memories to sustain the relationship during times apart.

  • Set some dates for your visits
  • Agree on who is going to visit and how often
  • Consider the cost of travelling to see each other

Learn to handle the distance until you can be physically together, so you make the most of your time apart and be ready to move in together if and when it comes to it.

12. Have an Endgame Plan

Discuss your long-term goals and whether there is a possibility of eventually living closer together. Having a plan for the future can provide reassurance and a sense of direction to your relationship.

A long-distance relationship is a phase and not a complete romantic relationship. If you get to the point where distance starts to affect your personal lives, it’s time to seriously consider moving to the same place sooner rather than later. Living together under the same roof has its own challenges, but at least the distance won’t be one of them.

  • Agree on how long the distance will last
  • Set a rough date for eventually closing the distance
  • At what point will you be ready to move in together after the long-distance phase is over?
  • Who is going to move when you decide to live together?

A long-distance relationship is known for its lack of physical intimacy. But, as humans, we need physical presence and physical touch to feel connected.

Recognise the potential challenges, such as limited physical presence, communication barriers, and feelings of loneliness at times.

Starting a Long-Distance Relationship With Someone You Just Met

Starting a long-distance relationship with someone you just met

Starting a long-distance relationship with someone you just met can be fun and exciting. It’s an opportunity to make a new friend or to build a long-term romantic relationship. But, it’s also natural to have questions about whether or not this relationship can work and how long it can last.

Being in a relationship with someone you just met may sound romantic, but having a new long-distance relationship online has many challenges.

When starting an online long-distance relationship with someone you just met, it’s worth spending time learning how to handle the distance, so you can have a healthy relationship with someone who can respect your preferences and who shares your values and beliefs.

If you feel a special connection, but the other person lives far away, it’s ok to be in a long-distance relationship for a short while to see how you get on. But if things get serious, consider visiting each other more often and talk about when you’ll be able to move in together and how it’ll work.

When you feel a special connection with someone, embrace it in its entirety and work on the challenges along the way.

Starting a Long-Distance Relationship Online

Starting a long-distance relationship online

With numerous online dating sites, starting a long-distance relationship online allows you to meet new people, until you find the right one. Keep in mind that you won’t really know them until you meet them in real life. So try to arrange your first meeting as soon as you can.

The challenge in having a long-distance relationship online is knowing how to express yourself through words in a way the other person can understand.

An online long-distance relationship is an incomplete romantic relationship because no amount of phone conversations can fulfil the need for physical closeness.

If you hide your thoughts and feelings in the beginning, when will you be ready to share them?

Here’s an article that dives deeper into online relationships, so check it out if you are about to start one.

Starting a Romantic Long-Distance Relationship With a Friend

Starting a long-distance relationship with a friend

Being friends with someone means you already have a relationship. So what you might be asking yourself is: do you have romantic feelings?

When starting a long-distance relationship with a friend, it’s normal to be afraid to bring up the possibility of a romantic relationship because it may destroy your friendship. But you owe it to yourself to acknowledge your feelings, so you can avoid future regrets, never knowing and always doubting if you could have made an amazing couple.

They might feel the same but might also be worried to bring it up. And, if they don’t feel the same, that’s ok, as long as you don’t feel rejected. Everyone has the right to have their own feelings and if there’s someone to share them with, it’s a true friendship.

Before you tell your friend how you feel, find out if it’s the right time for them to be romantically involved with anyone at all. If you don’t know how to express the romantic nature of your feelings to your friend, here is one way you can approach it:

  1. Ask your friend indirectly what they think about having a romantic relationship, who would be their ideal partner and if they are open to the idea of having a long-distance relationship.
  2. If you get a hint that your friend also may have feelings for you, share your true feelings with your friend.
  3. Ask how they feel about you.
  4. If both of you feel the same, make a plan to see each other to check if you feel right being a couple.
  5. Agree that no matter what, you will still be friends.

A romantic relationship is essentially a friendship that also involves physical intimacy. As long as you always remain honest and upfront with your feelings, you’ll find your way to have a healthy and happy relationship. Maybe it will be a passionate romantic relationship or it can be a beautiful friendship.

Starting a Long-Distance Relationship in College

Starting a long-distance relationship in college

While starting a long-distance relationship in college is common, it’s also common for it to fail.

If you or your current partner is about to go to college, it doesn’t mean that you should break up. But, you should talk about how it will affect your relationship and agree on how you will handle the distance. Here’re a few ways you can

  1. Talk to each other openly and honestly
  2. Decide if you want to stay together
  3. If you don’t see it working, take a break
  4. If you decide to try and make it work, make a plan, agree on how often you will talk and visit each other
  5. Consider an open relationship, if both of you are up for it.

If you are facing a long-distance relationship in college, take a look at our article that explores this topic in more detail.

Tips for Starting a Long-Distance Relationship

Here are some tips for you to start your long-distance relationship the right way and give it the best chance at working out:

  • Understand what is a long-distance relationship and what it involves.
  • See your relationship for what it is, rather than for what you want it to be.
  • If you want a serious relationship, write down your reasons for being committed to this long-distance relationship.
  • Decide if a long-distance relationship is for you.
  • If you have romantic feelings, do you see a way to be physically together?
  • Are you happy to be in a long-distance relationship for some time?
  • Discuss potential problems and how you will handle the distance.
  • Write down your reasons for being committed to this long-distance relationship.
  • Talk about how you both feel about the distance.
  • When you feel a connection with someone, embrace it in its entirety.
  • Remember to share your thoughts, feelings, doubts and concerns.
  • Be flexible and open-minded.

Relationship Coaching for Long-Distance Couples

Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain without knowing exactly what it involves. However, once you understand what a long-distance relationship is, you’ll be able to create and maintain a healthy relationship, even from a distance.

So, if you are about to start a long-distance relationship and want to make sure you get it right from the very beginning, send us a message to book a video call with a relationship coach who specialises in long-distance relationships.

If you feel like trying to figure it out by yourself in your own time, check out our complete step-by-step guide that covers all aspects of a long-distance relationship.


Starting a long-distance relationship can be both a thrilling and daunting experience. It requires genuine empathy and understanding to feel connected.

A long-distance relationship is a romantic relationship where you are physically apart. A real romantic relationship involves physical intimacy. Physical closeness allows partners to fully express their romantic feelings through physical intimacy. In a long-distance relationship, physical intimacy is limited by distance, leaving long-distance couples to rely on effective communication to feel connected.

Remember to approach this journey with practicality and open communication, ensuring that you and your long-distance partner set clear expectations from the beginning. Embrace the opportunities for personal growth and cherish the moments shared, even from afar.

Throughout this adventure, there will be ups and downs, and it’s essential to be patient and flexible with each other. For example, if your partner doesn’t respond straight away, it’s easy to worry and assume that they don’t want to talk to you. But, take a moment to consider that they might be busy or resting.

Be there to support and uplift one another during the tough times, knowing that distance can sometimes test even the strongest of connections.

While the miles may separate you physically, the emotional bond you build can be truly profound. Sex toys with an internet connection can spice up your long-distance relationship and will help you feel connected in a more tangible way. That said, don’t hesitate to plan visits and see your long-distance partner whenever possible, as these moments can be the highlight of your relationship.

Above all, remember that every relationship is unique, and what truly matters is the love and commitment you both share.

Whether your paths are destined to merge in the future or if the journey leads you to different horizons, cherish the love you have and grow from the experiences you share together. Stay in touch with your feelings, and let them guide you as your relationship develops.

This article covers a lot, so here’s a quick video summary:)

Frequently Asked Questions about Starting a Long-Distance Relationship

Is it OK to start a relationship long-distance?

Starting a long-distance relationship is okay if both partners are willing to communicate openly, trust each other, and commit to overcoming the challenges of distance.

How to do long-distance when you just started dating?

In the early stages of a long-distance relationship, focus on building trust, setting clear expectations, and maintaining regular communication to nurture the connection.

Is it healthy to start a relationship long distance?

A long-distance relationship can be healthy if it is built on trust, communication, and a strong emotional connection. Openness and commitment are key to maintaining a healthy dynamic.

Should you start a long-distance relationship?

Starting a long-distance relationship can be exciting and fun, but it also has its challenges. If you have feelings for someone who lives far away, then you should give it a go. Deciding to start a long-distance relationship depends on your individual circumstances and feelings. Consider factors like your connection, communication, and shared goals. If you both have the willingness to navigate the challenges and maintain the relationship, it can be a fulfilling experience.

How to start a long-distance relationship?

To start a long-distance relationship, discuss your intentions, expectations, and willingness to commit to the distance. Plan visits when possible and use technology to stay in touch.

Can starting a relationship long distance work?

Yes, long-distance relationships can work with dedication, effort, and mutual understanding. Many couples have successfully navigated the challenges and built strong connections despite the distance.

How long should you wait to meet someone you met online long-distance?

The appropriate time to meet in person depends on individual circumstances and comfort levels. It’s crucial to ensure both partners are ready and feel safe before planning a meeting.

How do you start a long-distance relationship?

Starting a long-distance relationship involves building trust, setting clear expectations, and being open about your feelings. Ensure you both agree on the nature of the relationship and how you’ll communicate. Be patient, supportive, and embrace the opportunities for personal growth. You can start a long-distance relationship with someone you’ve met online or in real life. To make it successful, you should plan to visit each other frequently and have a date for when your long-distance relationship will end and you can live in the same place and under the same roof.
1. Get to know each other
2. Share your feelings
3. Decide if you want the same things
4. Enjoy this experience and have fun.
5. Get to know each other’s interests, values, and beliefs.
6. Don’t make the distance last longer than it needs.

Do long-distance relationships last?

The longevity of a long-distance relationship depends on various factors, including communication, commitment, and the ability to overcome obstacles together.

Is a long-distance relationship worth it?

Whether a long-distance relationship is worth it depends on the strength of your connection, communication, and commitment. Evaluate the challenges and rewards it offers. If you and your partner are dedicated to making it work, a long-distance relationship can be a rewarding and enriching experience.

Can you start a long-distance relationship?

You can start a long-distance relationship with someone you’ve met online or in real life. To make it successful, you should plan to visit each other frequently and have an end date for your long-distance relationship.

How to talk about starting a long-distance relationship?

Express your feelings and intentions to the person you like. Ask if they feel the same and if they want the same thing from this long-distance relationship.

Can online long-distance relationships work?

To make your romantic long-distance relationship work, you should know how long it will last. It can work for a few months without any issue but making it a long-term, long-distance relationship won’t work. Instead, it will likely become a struggle and will make your life harder.

How do you know your long-distance relationship is not working?

• You are no longer enjoying being in this relationship
• You are feeling sad more often than you are excited
• The distance lasts longer than what you are ok with
• Can friendship become a relationship?
A long-distance friendship can last for a long time. But if you become romantic partners, you • should make a plan to move in together at some point.

What are the red flags in a long-distance relationship?

Red flags in a long-distance relationship may include lack of communication, consistent mistrust, unwillingness to meet in person, or avoiding future plans together. Addressing these issues is essential for a healthy relationship.

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