Starting a Long-Distance Relationship with Someone You just Met

Don’t let the distance get in the way of your happiness.

Starting a long-distance relationship can be fun and exciting. It’s an opportunity to make a new friend or to build a long-term romantic relationship. At the same time, it’s also easy to make mistakes. This article gives you an opportunity to avoid these mistakes and get it right from the beginning.

1. Before you start looking for a partner, ask yourself who is your ideal partner and what do you want from the relationship. Knowing what you’re looking for in a partner will make it easier to choose the right one.
2. Understand your own values, beliefs, and preferences.
3. Set some goals for your long-distance relationship. Make it clear for yourself what is it that you want to achieve at the end of this long-distance relationship.
4. Are you looking for a friend, a fling, or a more serious relationship?
5. Consider the cost of traveling to see your special someone.
6. If you decide to live together, who is going to move?

If you are starting a new long-distance relationship, you are in the right place. What you will learn today will help you start a healthy relationship with someone who shares your values and beliefs.

Before we get into the nitty gritty of starting a long-distance relationship, here’s a quick video to give you an overview…

Now, let’s have a look at different aspects of starting a long-distance relationship in more detail…

Is It Worth Starting a Long-Distance Relationship?

Long-distance relationships can be great, but they are not for everyone and most certainly not for the long run.

You just met someone special. This someone touches you in all the right ways. You find them special and hopefully they feel the same way.

You would love to get to know them better, but there’s a catch… they live thousands of miles away.

As special as this person is, you inevitably start having some doubts if this relationship has a future because of the distance and if it is even worth considering.

It’s natural to have questions about whether this relationship can work and how long it can last. But if you feel a special connection, you should embrace it, everything else can be worked out.

Long-distance relationships can start online with someone you have never met. You may also find your self in a long-distance relationship with your current partner.

If you like the person and the feeling is mutual, then starting a relationship is definitely worth it. Your relationship may develop into a friendship or you might have a family and grow old together.

Starting a long-distance relationship is worth it if you get on well together and have the money to travel and an opportunity to close the distance. Without the resources to see each other regularly, you are likely to feel sad and frustrated and it may not be worth the suffering.

Starting a long-distance relationship can be exciting and fun, but it also has its challenges. To decide if a long-distance relationship is worth it, let’s take a look at some advantages and disadvantages.

Advantages of Starting a Long-Distance Relationship

• The world is your oyster. You can find someone close to home or in the other part of the world.
• If you connect to someone from a different culture, you can start a relationship with them.
• Online dating sites and apps let you filter by specific criteria.
• If you have certain values, beliefs, and interests, you can identify if your special someone shares them early on.
• You don’t have to respond straight away to their questions and can take the time you need to ask your own.
• You can also use it as an opportunity to travel and potentially move to a different country.
• You get a lot of time and space to focus on your personal goals and achievements.
• Even though you may not see each other every day, when you do, it’s all more special.
• A long-distance relationship could be one of the few ways you avoid taking each other for granted.

Disadvantages of Starting a Long-Distance Relationship

• Meeting someone online can be misleading.
• If people look for a relationship online, you need to know why. Can they not find someone nearby, or are they trying to run away from something?
• Lack of physical intimacy. Some people need to be close to their partner more than others, so for them being apart is a lot harder. This may also lead to cheating.
• Visiting each other can be expensive. And if you don’t have the money or the time to travel as much as you’d like, it will be a problem.
• Communication in a long-distance relationship is different from a regular one. You can only express yourself verbally, which can be limiting. 
• Misunderstandings are easy to arise and hard to solve. 
• Feeling deprived of physical closeness can lead to jealousy and distrust.

When starting a long-distance relationship with someone you just met focus on how you feel about this person. If you have special connection, a long-distance relationship is worth a shot. Even if you don’t see a way to be together at the moment, you may very well find it later on.

The only way to know if it’s worth starting a long-distance relationship is by getting to know each other. If you find you have a lot in common, and your goals and values align, why not give it a go. It may happen that you get on really well, but romantic feelings aren’t there. In this case, you may discover a platonic friend whom you can visit for a holiday.

Getting to know a new person who lives far away is exciting and challenging at the same time. Just remember to enjoy more and worry less.

Here is an article that will give you more insight into benefits and challenges of being in a long-distance relationship, so you can decide if it is worth it for you.

Are Long-Distance Relationships Worth It?

Long-distance relationships are great a short while, however, they become increasingly difficult to maintain the longer they last. Many long-distance couples see the distance as an inconvenience. And while being apart certainly has its challenges, it can also be an opportunity to concentrate on your personal life and reflect on your relationship.

Long-distance relationships can be particularly challenging for couples who have lived together before the separation. It can be a shock to wake up alone after getting used to having your partner next to you.

When your partner is away, you know what you are missing out. After some time, this emptiness can become hard to deal with, and that’s when problems with having a long-distance relationship begin to develop.

Starting a long-distance relationship online is different from meeting somebody in real life. In some aspects, it can be better, but in others, it can be more challenging.

If you are starting a new long-distance relationship online, you have an opportunity to meet someone from a different culture. Anyone with internet can become your partner. This is as amazing as it is overwhelming.

If you are looking for the right partner, this step by step guide will help you discover yourself and get clear on who would be an ideal partner for you.

With online dating, you have an option to meet a person you would not otherwise meet. Although if you believe in destiny, you don’t need the internet.

Normally, most of the communication happens through body language. When you’re talking to a person in front of you, you can look them in the eyes, see their posture and see their behaviour.

There’s a certain feeling you get, almost intuitive when you see somebody asking you questions or responding to yours. This feeling helps you decide how your conversation is going and direct your conversation one way or the other.

In a long-distance relationship, most communication is online. And while you can see the person during your video calls, you don’t have the same feeling as when you converse face to face.

Once you find the right person, you would want to share your story and learn about them. Online communication can be tricky to master, so we have created this guide to help you connect with your chosen partner online and start building a healthy and happy relationship from the beginning.

Starting a long-distance relationship allows you to connect with another person across the world. But without seeing their body language or being able to touch them, its harder to assess your relationship. That’s why getting to know someone long-distance can be challenging.

That said, a long-distance relationship has its perks. For example, you can take your time to think about the questions you want to ask and the answers you want to give.

Don’t let the distance stop you from trying.

Check Your Expectations from a Long-Distance Relationship

The reality of a long-distance relationship is that it is not a complete romantic relationship. A friendship, for example, can be great when you live in different parts of the world. You can even visit each other and have an amazing holiday. However, a romantic relationship involves physical intimacy.

Physical closeness is an essential part of a romantic relationship. Gifts, bracelets, presents, apps, and virtual dates can help you feel connected, but they can not replace physical intimacy of a romantic relationship.

People expect a long-distance relationship to be just like a normal one, which is a mistake. This is also why many think that a long-distance relationship is hard. It has this reputation because people make it into something that it’s not.

Expecting a complete romantic relationship without physical intimacy is like expecting to drive a car without the fuel. You can only push it so far before you get tired. And it’s also hard work.

Do not expect a complete romantic relationship until you start living together. That said, a long-distance relationship is an opportunity to get to know someone with an idea of one day living together.

Here’s an article that can help you get to know each other in a long-distance relationship.

How to Get to Know Someone in a Long-Distance Relationship

What Can You Do Before Starting a Long-Distance Relationship?

So, you’ve met a special someone and talked about your feelings and intentions. By being open and honest with each other, you are building a strong foundation for your relationship.

Let’s say your feelings are mutual and you want to have a relationship. Your next step is to do your best to make your long-distance relationship work until you are ready to take it to the next level. So, if things get serious, consider this complete guide to long-distance relationships. It covers everything you need to give your relationship the best chance of success.

To get ahead in your relationship, discuss how important is physical intimacy for each of you.

If one of you needs physical intimacy more than the other, then being apart will be more difficult for that person.

Intimacy is one of the main areas of concern for long-distance couples. So, if you would like to get ahead and avoid unnecessary intimacy issues, here is a guide on how you can do that.

• Think of some ideas of where and how often it would be fun to meet.
• Talk about how you would like it to be in the ideal world.

Before starting a serious long-distance relationship, have fun and be creative. Enjoy your conversations and let your relationship develop naturally.

Sometimes having something tangible that connects you in some way can mean a lot. While I am not into overpriced things like lamps and bracelets, something like this keyring can carry the right message.

You can always get creative and come up with something like this by yourself. That’ll make it even more special. Here is an article on all the different types of gifts you can give to your long-distance partner.

Gifts for a Long-Distance Relationship

How to Bring Up Starting a Long-Distance Relationship?

While your feelings are the only thing that matters when you just met someone, there are things you can do to before starting a long-distance relationship:

1. Get clear about what you are feeling exactly (excitement, physical attraction, intellectual interest, etc.).
2. Share your feelings openly and honestly with your special someone.
3. Ask them how they are feeling.
4. Don’t expect them to tell you what you want to hear.
5. Be ok with everything they say.
6. Express what you want from this relationship (a long-distance fling, an open relationship, a friendship or start a romantic relationship).
7. Ask what they want.

You may find that both of you want the same thing, which it’d be great! Don’t be afraid of a little disappointment or sadness if it will not be the case. Honesty is more important than disappointment. Learn how the other person feels about you and try to be ok with everything. It’s ok to feel joy or sadness, just don’t give it too much importance.

The only way to know if it’s worth having a long-distance relationship is by getting to know each other. If you feel that you have a lot in common and your goals and values align, the distance can be closed. On the other hand, you may discover a platonic friend that you can visit for a holiday.

Talking about your feelings is a great way to start a healthy relationship.

This book, Emotions Revealed by Paul Ekman can help you better understand your feelings and emotions. As well as teach you to recognise the emotions of your partner. So you can create a loving relationship from the very beginning.

If you are looking for a partner who shares your values and beliefs, take a look at this workbook. It will help you get clear on what you want from a relationship and who is your special someone.

What to Ask When Starting a Long-Distance Relationship

1. Ask yourself, how are you feeling right now?
2. Ask your special someone about their feelings.
3. Ask what they want from being with you.
4. Do they want to have a relationship with you?
5. What type of relationship do they prefer?
6. How often do they like to be physically intimate?
7. Are they ok with a temporary long-distance relationship to get to know each other?

If you’re ever feeling a bit lost, give these questions a try and see if they help!

If you are having positive feelings, you are on the right track. If not, take a moment to reassess. Just be mindful to distinguish temporary emotions from your deeper ‘gut’ feelings.

Here’s a very popular conversation starters card game. It’s a fun way to talk about questions that you might find tricky or awkward to bring up by yourself. Playing with physical cards while on a phone or a video chat will bring something tangible in your long-distance relationship.

If you would like a more in-depth understanding about intricacies of communication in a long-distance relationship, check out this article.

Communication in a Long-Distance Relationship

How to Start a Long-Distance Relationship?

Start with checking how you feel…

1. Ask yourself if a long-distance relationship is for you
2. Make a plan of how your long-distance relationship is going to work
3. Assess your expectations from this long-distance relationship
4. Ask your partner how they feel about a long-distance relationship
5. Ask your partner about their expectations from your long-distance relationship
6. Set the boundaries for your communication
7. Agree on who is going to visit and how often
8. Agree on how long your-long-distance phase will last
9. Talk about moving-in after a long-distance when both of you are ready

Before starting a long-distance relationship, consider your expectations. What are you trying to achieve? Do you want a fling or are you looking for a life partner to build a family with?

That said, be mindful of making plans, creating different scenarios and worrying about it not working out. Before you know it, you start living in the future.

Get to know each other first, enjoy the present experience. As your relationship develops, your feelings will change. If you stay in touch with your feelings, you will know what to do as your relationship develops. For now, note how you feel and have fun with this new adventure. Worrying about the future takes you away from enjoying the present.

The only thing you need to consider when starting a long-distance relationship with someone you just met is how you feel about this person.

Here are some tips for you to start your long-distance relationship the right way and give it the best chance at working out:

• Set your personal and relationship goals.
• Make a plan to achieve these goals.
• Understand what is a long-distance relationship and what it involves.
• Set realistic expectations.
• Only make promises you know you can keep and will be happy to do so.
• Write down your reasons for being committed to this long-distance relationship.
• Discuss common problems of being in a long-distance relationship and how you will handle them.
• Check that you feel the same way.
• Talk to see if both of you are interested in the same kind of relationship.
• Are you happy to be in a long-distance relationship for some time?
• If you have romantic feelings, do you see a way to be physically together?

What You Should and Should Not Do in a Long-Distance Relationship

Do:

• Express your feelings as clear as you can.
• Your feelings will change, so express how you feel at the moment.
• Ask your partner how they feel about you.

Do Not:

• Hope and assume that they like you.
• Be afraid of asking how they feel.
• Take it personally if they don’t share the same feelings as you. We all have our preferences.

If you are unsure of how to express your feelings, this book will help you. Marshal Rosenberg and his non-violent communication (NVC) has changed my world.

One thing you should definitely do is set specific goals for your long-distance relationship. Many couples skip this step and suffer as a result. Since it is such a key component of a successful long-distance relationship, we have made this guide that will take you step by step in setting specific personal and relationship goals.

Starting a Long-Distance Relationship with Someone You Just Met Online?

The challenge in starting a long-distance relationship is knowing how to express yourself in a way that your special someone can understand.

If you hide your thoughts and feelings in the beginning, when will you be ready to share them? Give this relationship a chance. If you agree on what you want from this relationship, brainstorm fun ideas on how it will work.

This couple’s journal if a great way to bring life and creativity into your relationship.

Starting a long-distance relationship online allows you to meet new people, until you find the right one. Keep in mind that you won’t really know them until you meet in real life. So try to arrange your first meeting as soon as you can.

Starting a long-distance relationship with someone you just met is exciting and uncertain at the same time. When you feel a special connection with someone, you should embrace it with all its entirety. Don’t let the distance get in the way of your happiness.

You just met someone special. This someone touches you in all the right ways. You would love to get to know them better, but there’s a catch…they live miles away. And as special as they are, you inevitably start having doubts.

You might be asking yourself if this relationship has a future because of the distance and is it even worth considering?

It’s natural to have questions about whether this relationship can work and how long it can last. When something looks difficult and you don’t know what to do it’s normal to have doubts.

If you feel a connection, but your special someone doesn’t live close to you, it’s ok to do long-distance to get to know each other.

How to Start a Long-Distance Relationship Online

1. Be honest and open-minded about your intentions from the beginning. 
2. Find out if you want the same things. 
3. Be honest about your feelings and share them with your partner.
4. Express yourself in a way that your partner can understand. 
5. Recognise that a long-distance relationship is a phase and not a complete romantic relationship.
6. When you start a long-distance relationship you can learn about each other’s personalities, values, and beliefs.
7. When you feel a connection with someone, embrace it with all its entirety. Don’t let the distance get in the way of your happiness.
8. Be honest about your feelings and remember to share them.
9. Be open-minded.

You want certain things and so does the other person. All you need to do is find out if you want the same things.

Many couples approach an online long-distance relationship as they would a normal relationship. They expect romance and physical affection. And they see the distance as an inconvenience.

But, what’s a romantic relationship without physical intimacy? It’s a friendship. A friendship over a long-distance can work very well.

But an online long-distance romantic relationship is only healthy for a short while. As people, we need a physical presence and physical touch to feel connected. In an online long-distance relationship, it’s hard to maintain this emotional connection for a long time without seeing each other. 

Couples compensate by spending more time talking on the phone or via the texts. This leads to excessive communication, which can be damaging to your personal lives. But no amount of phone conversations can fulfil the need for physical closeness. An online long-distance relationship is an incomplete romantic relationship. 

If you hide your thoughts and feelings in the beginning, when will you be ready to share them? 

Give this relationship a chance. If you agree on what you want and expect from each other and this long-distance relationship, discuss and share ideas on how you can make it a success and enjoy it along the way.

Here is an article that goes in-depth on every aspect of a long-distance relationship and what you need to make it work.

How to Make Your Long-Distance Relationship Work

This couple’s journal if a great way to bring life and creativity into your relationship.

Starting a Long-Distance Relationship With a Friend

Being friends with someone means you already have a relationship. So what you might be asking yourself is: do your feelings have a romantic nature.

It’s normal to be afraid to bring up the possibility of a long-distance romantic relationship. Because it may destroy your friendship. But you owe it to yourself to acknowledge how you feel. It’s fine to share your feelings with your friend.

They might feel the same but are worried about bringing it up. And if they don’t feel the same, that’s also ok, as long as you don’t feel rejected. Everyone has the right to have their own feelings and if they have someone to share them with, that’s a true friendship.

Long-distance friendship is great, but when you have romantic feelings, you need to share them with your friend. Before you tell your friend how you feel, take some time to learn about the romance in their life and if it’s the right time for them to be involved long-distance.

How to Start a Romantic Long-Distance Relationship with a Friend

1. Ask your friend indirectly what they think about having a romantic relationship, who would be their ideal partner and if they are open to an idea of having a long-distance relationship.
2. If you get a hint that your friend also may have feelings for you, share your true feelings with your friend.
3. Ask how they feel about you.
4. If both of you feel the same, make a plan to see each other to check if you feel right being a couple.
5. Agree that no matter what, you will still be friends.

It’s important that you express how you feel to your friend. And if they don’t feel the same, that’s ok. But if they can also see the two of you being together romantically, then give it a go.

Trust is the foundation of friendship. A romantic relationship is a friendship that also involves physical intimacy.

As long as you always remain honest and upfront with your feelings, you’ll find your way to have a healthy and happy relationship. Maybe it will be a passionate romantic relationship or it can be a beautiful friendship.

Being friends with someone means you already have a relationship. And, since every relationship is built on trust, it something that is worth exploring in more detail. Luckily, we have an article on trust in a long-distance relationship, which you can find right here.

Trust in a Long-Distance Relationship

So what you might be asking yourself is: do your feelings have a romantic nature. It’s normal to be afraid to bring up the possibility of a long-distance romantic relationship. Because it may destroy your friendship. But you owe it to yourself to acknowledge how you feel. 

It’s fine to share your feelings with your friend. They might feel the same but are worried about bringing it up. And if they don’t feel the same, that’s also ok, as long as you don’t feel rejected.

Everyone has the right to have their own feelings and if they have someone to share them with, that’s a true friendship.

Why Do Long-Distance Relationships Fail?

Somehow if you decide to break up a relationship, it’s considered a failure. A long-distance relationship, like any other relationship, is two people getting to know each other because they like what they see.

As the relationship develops, you learn new things about each other. Your long-distance relationship may start because you met a special someone on holidays or maybe you’ve met online.

When you meet a new person, it’s a clean slate, aside from a ton of baggage each of you carries. With time you get to know this baggage and this may cause you to grow fonder or call it off. Either way, you gave it a go and hopefully, you enjoyed the journey of getting to know someone new.

Long-distance relationships can fail when partners do not talk about their beliefs and expectations in a healthy way or ignore it completely. If this happens, you may end up building a relationship with someone you think the other person is, rather than with who they truly are. And that’s just a waste of everyone’s time.

Be open to learning everything there is to learn about your special someone. Likewise, make sure you are comfortable sharing your story, your values and your preferences. If you find yourself less than free to express and share, then maybe it’s not the right person to share it with. Or you may need to practice sharing.

Here, communication is key. So, when you meet someone who seems like the right partner for you, take some time to go through this workbook together. It will help you get to know each other while avoiding many mistakes long-distance couples make when it comes to online communication.

Tips on Starting a Long-Distance Relationship

• Keep in touch with your feelings and how they change as your situation develops.
• Ask yourself if a long-distance relationship is for you.
• Make a plan of how your long-distance relationship is going to work.
• Assess your expectations from this long-distance relationship.
• Ask your partner how they feel about a long-distance relationship.
• Ask your partner about their expectations from your long-distance relationship.
• Set the boundaries for your communication.
• Agree on who is going to visit and how often.
• Agree on how long your-long-distance phase will last.
• Talk about moving-in after a long-distance when both of you are ready.
• Before starting a long-distance relationship, consider your expectations. 
• What are you trying to achieve with this relationship?
• Do you want a fling or are you looking for a life partner to build a family with?
• Be mindful of making plans, creating different scenarios, and worrying about it not working out. Before you know it, you start living in the future.
• Get to know each other first, enjoy the present experience. 
• Recognise the fun part of being in a relationship.
• When you met, you must’ve had fun. 
• You enjoyed each other’s company. 
• See things for what they are.
• Share how you feel about each other and your relationship.
• Tell them what you enjoyed about their company and ask how they feel about you. 
• It’s good to know if your feelings are mutual.
• Share how each of you sees your relationship.
• Maybe you’ve had a fun time and are ready to move on. 
• But you may have stronger feelings, which you would like to explore. 
• Just check to see that you are on the same page.
• Decide what you want from your relationship.
• If you are on the same page, start exploring your relationship. 
• And if it has to be long-distance, to begin with, that’s ok.
• Before you start looking for a partner, ask yourself, what do you want from this relationship.
• Knowing what you’re looking for in a partner will make it easier for you to choose the right one.
• Understand your values, beliefs and preferences.
• Make it clear for yourself what you want to achieve at the end of this long-distance relationship.
• Are you looking for a friend, a casual relationship, a fling, or maybe you want a more serious relationship and perhaps marriage.
• Consider the cost of traveling to see your special someone.
• Who is going to move when you decide to live together.

If you live in different places, for some time you will be apart. And physical intimacy will be a luxury, reserved for special visits. To handle the distance the right way from the very beginning, check out this step by step guide.

A long-distance is a phase in a relationship. During this time there’s a lot you can learn about each other.

You don’t need to suffer the distance while wishing to be together. Use the time apart to get to know each other. If you like what you learn, when you are ready, make a plan to take the next step.

Sometimes it’s easy to forget that if both of you decide that you are ready to move-in, you can do it. Getting to know a new person is exciting, just remember to enjoy more and worry less.

Conclusion

You met a person who picked your interest. They live far away, but you are considering the possibility of a relationship. You know you like them, but you also want to know how they feel about you.

Starting a long-distance relationship with someone you just met can be fun and exciting. It’s an opportunity to make a new friend or to build a long-term romantic relationship. In this article, we’ve covered the most important aspects to consider before starting a relationship.

Remember, a long-distance relationship is not a complete relationship. It’s a period when your relationship will have limited physical intimacy. It has its challenges, but don’t worry, I will guide you through them in my next article on getting to know someone in a long-distance relationship.

1. Recognise the fun part of being in a relationship
2. Share how you feel about each other and your relationship
3. Share how each of you sees your relationship
4. Decide what you want from your relationship

When you met, you must’ve had fun. You enjoyed each other’s company. See things for what they are.

Tell them what you enjoyed about their company and ask how they feel about you. It’s good to know if your feelings are mutual.

Maybe you’ve had a fun time and are ready to move on. But you may have stronger feelings, which you would like to explore. Just check in to see that you are on the same page.

If you are on the same page, start exploring your relationship. And if it has to be long-distance, to begin with, that’s ok.

Starting a long-distance relationship can be a lot of fun. It allows you to connect with another person across the world or keep in touch with your existing partner. Is it easy? No more than any other relationship. Is it difficult? Only if you don’t know what you are getting yourself into.

A long-distance relationship is a romantic relationship where you are physically apart. It’s important not to confuse it with a real romantic relationship where physical intimacy isn’t restricted by the distance.

A long-distance is a phase in a relationship. If you live in different places, for some time you will be apart. Physical intimacy will be a luxury, reserved for special visits. During this time there’s a lot you can learn about each other.

Starting a long-distance relationship is different from starting a relationship face to face. The biggest difference is the lack of physical intimacy. When you start a new long-distance relationship, it’s normal to have doubts. After all, you have strong feelings for someone, and you want your relationship to work out. 

Today, we’ve seen how distance affects a relationship. Of course, your feelings and circumstances will change and evolve. So, keep an eye on how you feel and work on your communication. If your relationship becomes serious, here’s an article on how you can make your long-distance relationship work.

Don’t let the distance stop you from trying to have a relationship with a special someone.

How Healthy Is Your Long-Distance Relationship?

If you are having doubts about your long-distance relationship and are not sure if you should try to fix it or let it go, here is our step by step guide to help you and your partner reassess your relationship and make an educated decision that works for both of you.

Relationship Coaching for Long-Distance Couples

Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain without knowing exactly what they involve.

However, once you understand what long-distance relationships are, what they are not and how to navigate them, you are a lot more likely to make it work.

We specialise in helping long-distance couples create and maintain a healthy relationship by building intimacy, trust and effective communication.

If you are starting a long-distance relationship or are already in one, send us a message to book an individual coaching session for yourself or a couples coaching session for you and your partner.

Frequently Asked Questions

Gifts for a Long-Distance Relationship

Gifts for a Long-Distance Relationship