Meeting for the First Time in a Long-Distance Relationship

You’ve been in a long-distance relationship with someone you met online for a little while. Now it’s time for you to meet.

Meeting for the first time in a long-distance relationship can be nerve-wracking and exciting at the same time. The first meeting is one of the most important steps of your long-distance relationship; it will define if there is a relationship at all. The best thing you can do is be yourself.

In this article, we will talk about the things you can do to prepare for your first meeting with your long-distance partner.

A Long-Distance Relationship Without Meeting

When you start a long-distance relationship online, it may be months before you get to meet in person. These first few months will be a stage of your long-distance relationship, where you get to know the person you would like to have as a long-distance partner.

The communication you have in a long-distance relationship is via text messages, phone calls, and video calls. These means of communication are perfectly acceptable to learn about the person. But you won’t know what they’re like and how it feels to be next to them until you meet each other in real life.

A long-distance relationship without meeting in person shouldn’t last longer than two or three months. The reason for it is that at this point, the person you are in the long-distance relationship with is more of an idea that your mind constructs based on the information they provide. You may like this idea, but the reality could be different.

When you meet someone online, they may or may not give you the real information. There is no guarantee that the person on the other end of the phone call is upfront with you about who they are and what they do.

It’s okay to trust someone with whom you are starting a long-distance relationship. But, you should keep an open mind and be flexible in letting things develop slowly but safely.

To help you navigate your long-distance relationship, here is our communication guide.

Meeting Someone You Met Online

The idea of meeting your long-distance partner in real life will help you see what it’s like being with them.

Before meeting the person you met online, you should mentally prepare and keep an open mind that after the first meeting, things may or may not work out.

When you’ve spent a couple of months getting to know a person, you can see if their interests, values, and beliefs are similar to yours and whether you would like to meet them in person. At the same time, there’s a risk that you or your partner are idealising each other.

If this happens when you meet for the first time, there will be a comparison between the idea of the person you created in your head and the actual person that is in front of you.

When you meet someone for the first time after getting to know them online, you will feel like you know that person. At the same time, you are meeting someone new. These two perceptions can create a sort of conflict in your head. This conflict is the reason you may be feeling nervous about meeting them.

How to Get to Know Someone in a Long-Distance Relationship

Another reason some people may feel nervous about meeting a long-distance relationship for the first time if they haven’t been completely honest and upfront themselves.

When you’re speaking to someone online, it’s easy to get carried away to tell them your story the way you would like it to be. Even if it means that the information you describe isn’t a true reflection of the real story of who you are.

The best advice I would give anyone who is starting a long-distance relationship online is to be themselves. Not having to play the role of someone else or make things up will help you feel relaxed and comfortable being who you are.

Suppose you are honest and authentic from the beginning. In that case, the people who are not connecting with you will dissipate, and the ones who are vibrating at the same level as you will remain. It easier for you to not waste your time on people with whom you wouldn’t get along anyway. 

And it will allow you to spend the time on people with whom you can create a harmonious and loving relationship. In some cases, it can be romantic, and in others you might find a perfect friend.

Distance has a profound impact on a relationship. So, to have any chance at making your long-distance relationship work, knowing how to handle the distance is a must. To help you with that, we have created this step by step guide for you and your partner to work together.

Long-Distance Relationship Advice for Meeting the First Time

The biggest reason that meeting someone for the first time can be so nerve-wracking is because of your expectations. During the initial phase of getting to know each other, you created a particular image of a person. 

With the expectation of the person you created in your head, there is also a fear of being disappointed if this person doesn’t match your expectations. Creating expectations are part of our survival. It’s something we do all the time, and it’s ok to worry a little. But, you can choose to feel excited about meeting your partner or nervous, it only depends on you.

You can focus on things you expect, or you can feel excited about learning new things. You see, when we are talking to someone online, we think and behave in a certain way. When we are face to face with a person or a situation, we behave differently. Meeting someone for the first time in a long-distance relationship is a strange experience. 

Part of you thinks you already know them well and expects them to be in a certain way. While the other part realises that all you know is some information about this person. In a long-distance relationship, you are not connecting to another person. You are relating to the idea of this person and what you know about them.

When you meet for the first time, you will think that you know them, but you will see that you don’t. The best thing you can do is be aware of your expectations but focus on getting to know them all over again.

After your meeting, you’ll probably be apart for some time. It’s nice to get something special for your partner when you meet. This way, they will have a meaningful gift to remind them of you and meeting you for the first time.

Long-Distance Relationship Meeting for the First Time Gone Wrong

When you are meeting for the first time after starting a long-distance relationship online, things may go either way.

After meeting your long-distance partner in person, you might be disillusioned. This person or their behaviour may not be as you imagined or expected them to be.

On the bright side, you might get along very well from the first time you see each other. If you have been upfront and honest with each other during the first few months, you should get on just fine, and you will have lots of fun together.

The truth is, you won’t know how things turn out until you go and meet your long-distance partner in real life. Whatever happens, it can be great fun. Even if you meet someone and something goes wrong, as long as you’re safe, it’s all an experience for you.

Maybe with someone you meet for the first time, it won’t work out. But it’s called experience; it will teach you about things you should be paying attention to when you are getting to know someone online. 

It could turn out differently next time you meet someone online. You will know the right questions to ask and the right way to behave.

If you are having a bad streak with potential partners, this guide might be able to help.

Meeting Your Long-Distance Relationship Again

If your first meeting went great, I’m sure you’ll be looking forward to your second meeting.

Meeting someone you started a long-distance relationship with for the first time, is probably the most intense experience in your long-distance relationship.

While the second meeting may not feel as nerve-wracking, it isn’t any less important than the first one. Even when couples live together and have known each other for many years, there is always room to discover new things about one other.

Suppose you’re meeting your long-distance partner for the second time. In that case, it means you’re considering that your relationship will get serious. I would suggest taking your second meeting for what it is, a chance to spend more time with a new person.

Don’t rush into making promises or creating a committed relationship too early.

Meeting your long-distance partner for the second time is the perfect opportunity to relax and have fun doing things you both enjoy and have in common.

Here is an article with some ideas on various couple activities you can do with your long-distance partner.

Activities for a Long-Distance Relationship

How Often Should Long-Distance Couples Meet? 

Existing couples who are in long-distance relationships should meet as much as they need to have physical closeness. In most cases, it’s not that easy. 

Visiting each other takes time and cost money. If money isn’t an issue, then you can see your long-distance partner as often as you’d like. In this case, being in a long-distance relationship isn’t that hard.

For couples who are starting their long-distance relationship online, meetings are all about getting to know each other better in real life. If you’ve never met your long-distance partner, you should do it after a couple of months of getting to know each other. 

If your first meeting goes well and you enjoy each other’s company, you may want to meet each other a couple of times a month for a few months. This will vary depending on how far apart you live and if you have the time and money to visit each other frequently.

You can use this meeting as an opportunity to go to different places, travel the world and enjoy each other’s company. 

After a few months of visiting each other, you could talk about moving in together for a couple of months to see what it’s like to share the same space for a long time.

To learn more about visiting your long-distance partner, check out this article.

Visiting in a Long-Distance Relationship

What to Do When You Meet Your Long-Distance Partner After a Long Time? 

Suppose you’re in a long-distance relationship with an existing partner. In that case, you should see each other every couple of weeks at least. But long-distance couples find themselves in a variety of situations.

Sometimes it may not be possible for couples in a long-distance relationship to see each other as often as they would like.

When you meet your long-distance partner after a long time, you should prepare for the possibility that you, your partner or both of you are not feeling the same way about each other.

When you’re in the long-distance relationship with an existing partner, you can maintain an emotional connection for some time even if you don’t see each other that often. But if you’re not seeing your romantic partner for months at a time, your feelings about each other might change.

The best thing is, to be honest, and upfront with your feelings and allow your partner to express how they feel.

Pretending that nothing has changed, and trying to get back to your relationship the way it was, isn’t going to work well for anyone.

To maintain intimacy and stay connected when you are apart, here is a step by step guide for you and your partner.

Conclusion

Meeting someone you met online for the first time is a pivotal point in your relationship. When you start a long-distance relationship online, you can take some time to get to know each other. 

You can learn about your partner’s interest, values, and beliefs. They can also share with you their history, what they like and don’t like, their goals and ambitions.

But it’s not until you meet that person in real life that you will know what it’s like to be together. The most important thing is being yourself, keep an open mind, and be safe.

If you are serious about making your long-distance relationship work, here is our complete guide.

How Healthy Is Your Long-Distance Relationship?

If you are having doubts about your long-distance relationship and are not sure if you should try to fix it or let it go, here is our step by step guide to help you and your partner reassess your relationship and make an educated decision that works for both of you.

Relationship Coaching for Long-Distance Couples

Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain without knowing exactly what they involve.

However, once you understand what long-distance relationships are, what they are not and how to navigate them, you are a lot more likely to make it work.

We specialise in helping long-distance couples create and maintain a healthy relationship by building intimacy, trust and effective communication.

If you are starting a long-distance relationship or are already in one, send us a message to book an individual coaching session for yourself or a couples coaching session for you and your partner.

Frequently Asked Questions