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Conversation topics in a long-distance relationship range from lighthearted exchanges to catch up on day’s events to deep conversations about your life and relationship.
You may find yourself talking about the same things to the point where your conversations become boring. To make your conversations more interesting and exciting, talk about things that have some meaning. Discuss topics that are relevant to you and your relationship.
Here are a few conversation ideas for you to talk about with your long-distance partner:
- Catch up on your day’s events.
- Talk about your dreams and aspirations.
- Share your feelings about the relationship
- Address your doubts
- Answer the essential questions
- Agree on the means and frequency of your communication
- Arrange your visits
- Plan the next stage of your relationship
- Discuss the possibility of moving in together in the near future.
Let’s look at each of them in more detail…
Catch Up on Your Day’s Events
Catching up on your day’s events is an easy and lighthearted way to keep emotionally connected. It should be done out of will rather than obligation. And, the amount of time you call and the durations should be carefully managed (more on this later).
Talking too much or too little is a common problem in a long-distance relationship. While the amount of time you should talk is subjective and varies from couple to couple, there is is a healthy amount of time that you should spend talking with your long-distance relationship partner.
The exact amount of time and the frequency of your communication is something you need to agree on with your partner.
A healthy amount of time allows you to talk to each other enough to express yourself and feel connected, while making sure that you don’t talk too much. It’ll help you avoid boring conversations and wasting time that you could otherwise spend on doing something interesting with your life.
Phone conversations are an easy way to keep in touch with your long-distance partner and is a great way to share something that’s happening in your life right now.
At the same time, because it’s so easy to just dial a number and speak, you might be tempted to call whenever you feel like it, regardless if it’s a good time for them to talk to you.
You can avoid causing inconvenience by agreeing on the best times to call each other.
Try to keep phone conversations for light topics. If there is something more important that you would like to discuss, set up a video call at a time that is convenient for both of you. Check out this article on phone conversations in a long-distance relationship.
Texting in a long-distance relationship has the same implications as phone calls. It’s very easy to get carried away texting all the time, sharing every little thing. This could lead to excessive communication and put extra pressure on your relationship.
It’s fine to send texts in long-distance relationships now and then. They don’t have to be meaningful, nor do they have to be important. Even little cheeky message telling your partner that you’re thinking of them can mean a lot.
One of the common problems in long-distance relationships is that when one partner keeps texting quite a lot, and if the other partner doesn’t have the time to respond. This may seem like they don’t care and it’s easy to jump to conclusions. But doing so is very dangerous and unhealthy for your relationship.
Here is an article where we discuss texting in a long-distance relationship.
Talk About Your Dreams and Aspirations
about your personal life goals and ambitions
You can talk about your personal goals and your journey towards achieving them.
- Your history, your life story, what happened and when
- Your present feelings and circumstances
- Your future plans
Having meaningful conversations via a video call is the next best thing after talking to the person who is in front of you. In a long-distance relationship, when you can’t see each other every day physically, video calling is a great way to catch up while seeing each other’s faces.
Video calls also have their limitations. So, if you need to talk about something personal and important, consider waiting until you see each other. Long-distance relationship visits are perfect for catching up and having a face-to-face conversations. for full details.
Video calling doesn’t replace having somebody in front of you, but it’s much better to talk to your long-distance relationship partner when you can see their face.
You can have many conversations via video calling, even the most serious ones.
Share Your Feelings About the Relationship
You should talk about your feelings about having a long-distance relationship, to see if they have changed since the last time you spoke.
Express and share your feelings as openly and honestly as you can.
Feelings change every day, so it can be interesting and important to share them with each other.
- Your circumstances
- Your personal goals
- Your relationship goals
While long-distance relationships can be hard, they don’t necessarily have to be hard work. To keep your long-distance relationship exciting you should find the time and space to have some dirty talking.
If you don’t have fun in your long-distance relationship it can quickly become a chore.
And since you can’t do physical things together there is a risk of allowing the distance to come between you. If you are in a long-distance relationship for a long time there is a chance that at some point you will start growing apart.
Keeping your long-distance relationship fun and exciting is the best way to make the most of it and to make it work while you are away from each other.
You can certainly be passionate about your relationship. So you can ask each other questions about it:
- How do you feel about your relationship?
- How is your relationship going?
- Is your relationship changing during the long-distance period?
- Did you set goals for the timeline for your long-distance relationship?
- Do you have a plan for visiting each other and moving in together?
- Are your relationship goals the same as before or have they changed?
If you are getting to know someone new in a long-distance relationship, you could talk about your history. You could share your life story, talk about where you came from, and tell each other different experiences you’ve come across in your life.
Sharing these things can help you understand each other better and also understand the reasons why you do what you do.
If you are in a long-distance relationship with an existing partner, you probably already know quite a lot about each other. In that case, it might be more interesting for you to discuss your present feelings and circumstances. You could review your personal life goals and ambitions. Here is a practical guide to help you out.
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Address Your Doubts
While there’s nothing wrong with having a chat and a catch-up, it’s important to talk about meaningful things when you are in a long-distance relationship.
To maintain a healthy long-distance relationship, it’s essential to have fun as well as talk about things that touch you deeply. If you would like some help expressing yourself and sharing your thoughts and feelings, this workbook will help you out a lot. It’ll also give you conversation ideas to grow your relationship and stay emotionally connected:
Conversation games are a great way to bring diversity to your interactions.
If you want to spice up your long-distance relationship, you can play different games online. You can also play games that help you feel connected and discover your relationship.
While you can find many couple’s games online, you can create your own game as well. To give you some ideas, you can use couples journals to guide you through having conversations about your long-distance relationship.
Conversations can become more interesting with both of you answering the same question and then discussing your answers.
It’s good to talk about your relationship and how the distance affects it. The more you can understand each other’s feelings and points of view regarding your long-distance relationship, the better your chances of making it work.
There are many great discussion questions for couples in long-distance relationships. We can divide questions into broad topics.
One topic is about you and your partner sharing your personal goals and achievements. When one person shares their life experience, the other partner tries to listen and understand.
If you know how to listen to your partner and understand them, you will be able to give them a healthy perspective on the situation.
A piece of helpful advice can be precious coming from the person you trust and who can also give you an unbiased opinion while having the best intentions to help you.
Another group of questions is to talk about your relationship. When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you should have a lot of discussions about how the distance affects each of you separately and your relationship as a whole.
If you keep in mind both of these groups of questions, you will never be lost for words during the conversations with your long-distance partner.
Have a look at this step-by-step guide to improve communication in your long-distance relationship.
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Answer the Essential Questions
Here are some questions that can help you navigate your long-distance relationship:
- Why are you in a long-distance relationship?
- What do you expect from your long-distance relationship?
- Why are you in a long-distance romantic relationship with this particular person?
- What is a long-distance relationship?
- What problems you may face while apart?
- How does a long-distance affect intimacy in your relationship?
- What are practical ways to have effective communication in a long-distance relationship?
- How to apply effective communication to your long-distance relationship?
- Why are you in a long-distance relationship?
- What do you expect from your long-distance relationship?
- Why are you in a long-distance romantic relationship with this particular person?
- You can make a long-distance relationship work. But do you need to?
- What if your long-distance relationship is lasting longer than what you’d like?
- What if now you are feeling sadness and frustration from not being able to be together?
Click here to learn about the essential questions you should ask your long-distance partner.
Agree on the Means and Frequency of Your Communication
To have a healthy relationship you must have effective communication. To have effective communication you should learn how to express yourself in a way that your partner understands you. Click here to learn more about communication in a long-distance relationship.
You also need to be able to listen to what your partner is saying and be able to understand them.
Many long-distance couples struggle to find new things to talk about. It becomes a problem when you spend a lot of time talking to each other every day. You are trying to reach out and connect in an attempt to feel closer.
In a long-distance relationship, there’s a boundary of how often you should speak. Once you cross this boundary, your relationship becomes toxic for you and your partner.
To keep your relationship healthy you should agree on a few things regarding the communication. You can set yourself a few boundaries to help you guide through your long-distance relationship.
You can set healthy boundaries by agree on the following:
- How and how often you will communicate?
- When is the best time for you to talk?
- How long how conversations should last?
- What are your preferred means of communication?
Having this agreement will help you remain focused while talking about important things in your long-distance relationship.
When you are in a long-distance relationship, you may find yourself talking to each other on the phone and texting each other more and more as time goes by. If you spend too much time talking, your conversations can get boring because you will not have anything new or interesting to talk about.
When you have nothing to talk about, consider reducing the amount of time and frequency of your conversations. Doing so will give you a chance to live your real-life, then you will have something to tell your partner.
Boring conversations can be a sign that you are talking too much or too often. They may lead to boring relationship, which you can avoid by maintaining intimacy and keeping your relationship interesting and exciting. This workbook will help you spice up you long-distance relationship.
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It can also be a sign that you are spending more time talking to your long-distance partner than having a real-life in the physical world that you live in.
Arrange Your Visits
Planning your visits is an essential part of a successful long-distance relationship. It can also be a fun conversation topic that keeps you engaged and working together.
You can start by discussing the following:
- How often you will visit each other?
- Who will visit who?
- How long you will spend together?
- What will you do for fun?
- How will you use this time to build your relationship?
On top of visiting each other, you can also plan romantic trips together to discover new places and see how you get on in various circumstances. During such trips you will discover a lot more about yourselves, than simply talking about it online. Click here to learn how you can make the most of your visits.
Plan the Next Stage of Your Relationship
When you are starting a long-distance relationship with someone new or having to do long-distance with your current partner, you should have an idea about your plans. Being in a romantic relationship means you are expecting physical intimacy.
If you are in an exclusive relationship that is long-distance, you won’t get as much physical closeness as you should have with your romantic partner.
Having a timeline and a plan for your long-distance relationship will help you feel reassured that you are in control of the direction of your relationship. You can set short-term goals like how often you are going to visit each other as well as a long-term goal of moving in together.
Having these things will help you navigate your long-distance relationship and reassure you that you are on the right track. If you need some help bringing structure to your long-distance relationship, take a look at this step-by-step guide.
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Discuss the Possibility of Moving In Together in the Near Future
No amount of conversations will breach the physical distance between two people who live in different parts of the world.
Long-distance relationships involve romantic partners that can’t be physically together. The distance may last for a couple of weeks, a few months, or even years. During this time, long-distance partners visit each other and in between visits, the only way long-distance relationship couples maintain an emotional connection is by keeping in touch.
However, given your relationship is serious, sooner or later you will need to move in together. From the relationship perspective, as soon as you get to know each other well enough online, have met a few times and still like each other, it is time move in.
Before getting to know someone online and moving in together there is a period of a long-distance relationship. To make your relationship work over the distance you should be aware of several areas of the relationship that are most affected by the distance. If you find someone special and your relationship becomes serious, consider this complete guide that will take you step-by-step through each area of a long-distance relationship.
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Conclusion
In a healthy long-distance relationship, conversations should flow by themselves. If you have to start thinking about what to say to your partner, it can be a sign that it’s time to reassess your relationship.
An exception would be starting a new long-distance relationship. It’s great if you click with someone, and your conversations flow easily. But now and then you may feel stuck. There are many reasons why you can be lost for words while having conversations with someone you just met online.
Sometimes you want to ask something, but you’re too shy or embarrassed to do it. Sometimes you may have doubts about yourself, the other person or about having a long-distance relationship.
Conversation starter games and couples journals can help you with this problem. All you have to do is suggest playing these games or going through the questions in a journal with another person.
This allows you to start conversations, learn new and important things about each other. And you don’t need to feel anxious about asking questions because all you do is follow the process.
You could start conversations by asking people how they feel. And I don’t mean “good, thanks, you”. You want to understand the emotional state of the person in front of you. You can also share your feelings if you trust this person. So, in a way, opening up with sharing your feelings can determine the level of trust that you have in your relationship.
It may take some time to feel that trust and develop a deeper connection. In the beginning, you can start with casual chitchat that will give you an idea of what the person is going through in their life at the moment.
As your relationship develops and you build trust, you should be able to open up to each other more easily. But, if after a few months you still experience barriers, then you should talk about it and how much you can and want to trust each other.
Check out this bundle to get you talking.
Starting a conversation with your long-distance partner should be fun and easy. However, you may find yourself in a situation where you need to talk about things that feel uncomfortable.
If this is the case, all you need to do is tell your partner that there are things that bother you or you aren’t sure about. Tell them you would like to share these thoughts and doubts with them to get their point of you.
To start a more serious conversation, you should create a time and the space to do it, instead of randomly calling your partner or sending them a text diving into the problems. Arrange the time where both of you could spend an hour or two talking about it, without feeling rushed.
Here are some tips and ideas for having conversations in long-distance relationships:
- Set the time that works for both of you to have a conversation.
- Choose the most appropriate way to have the conversation based on how important is the topic you want to discuss.
- If you feel that you can’t resolve the issue through online means, wait until you see each other.
- If you are struggling to start a conversation, try to understand why.
- If your conversations get boring, try to see what has changed since when they are no longer interesting.
Effective communication is a key to make your long-distance relationship work. To help you along, here’s a workbook that will take you step by step through everything you need to know about communication in your relationship.
This article takes a deep dive into all aspects of communication in a long-distance relationship.
Conversations in long-distance relationships are mostly through online means. And, having conversations with someone who isn’t in front of you, can be challenging and confusing.
A clear idea of the type of conversation you are having will help you better navigate your communication objectives. For example, you can have a conversation to discuss something in particular, to connect, or to make a plan. Conversation starter games and couples’ journals can help you keep your conversations interesting and fun.
One thing you should keep in mind when having conversations with your long-distance partner is the way you communicate. It depends on the degree of importance and seriousness of your conversation and your discussion.
If you want to remind your partner that you love them, sending a text is fine. Phone conversations are great to catch up when you’re on the go. Video calling works well to discuss things while seeing each other’s faces.
If you find that there are issues you can’t work out via online means, you should pause these conversations until you see each other in your next visit.
If you would like to reassess your relationship and address any issues you may have to make it work, check out our complete step-by-step guide.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you keep a conversation going in a long-distance relationship?
You can keep conversations going by sharing things that happen in your life and how you feel about them. If both of you shared everything you wanted to share, you can end your conversation and do something more interesting with your life.
What questions do you ask in a long-distance relationship?
In a long-distance relationship you can ask each other a variety of questions from casual every-day things to life goals and ambitions. The main goal of an LDR is to get to know each other well enough to see if you want to be together. So your questions can include learning about each other’s habits and preferences and delve deeper into values and beliefs.
What do you talk about with your long-distance partner?
You can talk about your personal life, listen to what your partner wants to share or discuss your relationship, and how the long-distance affects it.
How often should you talk in a long-distance relationship?
You can talk as often as you like, as long as you set the boundaries. Set these boundaries and agree on how often and how much you talk to each other.
One of the common problems couples face in a long-distance relationship is talking too much or too often. The more you talk the less you will have to say. You still might find something to say, but it won’t be as meaningful most of the time.
When you are in a long-distance relationship, you have a chance to catch up on your personal life goals and spend time on your interests and hobbies.
It’s hard to generalise how often should couples talk in a long-distance relationship. It’s more important that you agree with your partner on the frequency of your conversations.
Should you talk every day in a long-distance relationship?
You can talk every day, but you don’t have to. You need to find a balance between how much you need to talk to feel emotionally connected and how much your partner needs it. Usually, one person would want to talk more than the other. The key is to find a middle ground without having to compromise much.
Sometimes a partner can become a little bit needy and would want to talk more and more, forgetting about their personal life. This is unhealthy for a long-distance relationship. If this happens you should talk to each other about it and find a balance between your personal life and your long-distance relationship as a couple.
Is it OK to not talk to your partner every day?
It’s okay not to talk to your partner every day. But if they need to talk every day to maintain an emotional connection, you should do it. If you feel that it’s too much, you could reduce the amount of time you talk. Many couples like to talk every day like they would in a regular relationship. You can do that in a long-distance relationship as well. But you can try to keep it to the point, so it doesn’t become boring.
How do you fix a boring conversation with your long-distance partner?
To fix a boring conversation with your long-distance partner try to vary the conversation topics to keep things interesting. Also, if you are talking too much, reduce the amount of time you spend talking and do something exciting with people around you instead.
What do you talk about before a long-distance relationship?
Before you start a long-distance relationship you should talk about how long it will last, how often you can visit each other, and when you can move in together. If you find that your conversations have become boring, consider spending less time talking and more time living your life.
What questions do I ask in a long-distance relationship?
You can ask personal questions, fun questions, interesting questions, or deep and important questions.
How should I talk with my long-distance partner?
In a long-distance relationship, it’s easy to get carried away and talk more while saying less. This is an attempt to feel closer to the person with whom you can’t be physically close. It’s a way to compensate for the lack of physical intimacy.
But if you’re not careful, you might end up spending too much time calling and texting. One reason it’s not a good idea to do that is that after a while, your conversations will become boring. Another reason is that you will spend less time with real-life around you.
While it’s okay to talk about every day things to catch up, you should be careful not to overdo it.
Having some boundaries can help you set the limits of how much you talk. To make your conversations more interesting, you can talk about your personal life, listen to what your partner wants to share or talk about your relationship.
How to talk about starting a long-distance relationship?
Before starting a long-distance relationship, you should consider if this relationship is right for you. Romantic long-distance relationships work for a little while, but they don’t work long term.
Once you understand the advantages and disadvantages of having a long-distance relationship, you can decide whether or not it can work for you.
If you decide that starting a long-distance relationship could be fun, you can find someone via online dating. It may also be the case where you have just met someone while on holidays or maybe you have a friend that you would like to have a long-distance relationship with.
If you already know the person that you are considering having a romantic relationship with, you should tell them how you feel. If you don’t express how you feel you’re guaranteed not having a romantic relationship.
If you express your feelings, another person might share them, or they may not. If they don’t have romantic feelings for you or they’re not interested in having a romantic long-distance relationship, they will tell you so.
It may also happen that this person likes you, and they’re happy to start a long-distance relationship with you. In this case, you should give it a go.
When you’re starting a long-distance relationship, you should talk about your feelings and circumstances. Even if you share the same feelings, you may not have the means to visit each other or to move in together in a few months. In this case, you might be better off keeping in touch as friends and exploring your connection without getting romantically involved.
However, if you have mutual feelings towards each other and you think you can make your long-distance relationship work then you should talk about a couple of things:
There are a few more things to consider before starting the long-distance relationship. The article on starting a long-distance relationship will help you decide if it’s for you.
How do I communicate with my long-distance boyfriend?
You can communicate with your long-distance boyfriend via a combination of phone, texts and video calls. Keep phone conversations and texting to something light and leave deeper topics to video calls and when you see each other in person.
– Use conversation starter games and journals
– Keep your conversation interesting
– Play conversation games
– Answer relationship building questions
– Discuss conversation topics
– Have casual phone conversations
– Do some texting
You can only talk about interesting things if something interesting happens in your life. If you spend too much time talking to each other, you don’t give the time for interesting things to happen. So you will not have anything interesting to talk about, it’s that simple.
There are different ways you can have interesting conversations. For example, you can do an online relationship quiz. You could play online games together, so you talk about them as well as sharing something interesting in common. Couple’s journals can also spice things up and give you something interesting to talk about. These journals have different questions and various topics you could talk about.
How Do You Keep a Conversation Interesting in a Long-Distance Relationship?
To keep your conversations interesting, you should have something interesting happening in your life, so that you can share it with your long-distance partner.
If your life is boring and you’re not doing anything apart from talking to your long-distance partner, trying to find some interesting things to do or topics to talk about isn’t a solution.
How much should you talk in a long-distance relationship?
Talking too much or too little in the long-distance relationship can be a perception of one partner. While there is a healthy amount for each couple, one partner may feel that they would like to talk more. At the same time, another partner can feel that they are talking too much.
To fix this issue, you should talk about the reasons why each of you feels the way you do.
Usually, if you feel that you’re not talking enough, it could mean that you need to feel more connected. It may also be a sign that there are things you would like to express and there isn’t enough communication for you to do that in your long-distance relationship.
If on the other hand, you feel that you’re talking too much, it can be a sign that you would like more personal space to do the things that you would like to do or need to do.
How do you keep a conversation interesting in a long-distance relationship?
If you are in a healthy relationship, your conversations will be interesting all the time. But wait, surely there are times when a conversation becomes dull… If you are feeling bored during a conversation, find something better to do, it’s that simple.
How much should you talk about in a long-distance relationship?
The exact amount of time varies from couple to couple. You should talk as much as you and your partner feel happy with. You and your partner need to agree on how much time you need for talking so that you can express everything that’s on your mind without talking too much and having boring conversations.
What should I talk about on the phone in a long-distance relationship?
It’s easy to get carried away talking on the phone too much. While it’s perfectly fine to catch up on the phone, you should have more serious conversations via video calls.
How Healthy Is Your Long-Distance Relationship?
If you are having doubts about your long-distance relationship and are not sure if you should try to fix it or let it go, here is our step by step guide to help you and your partner reassess your relationship and make an educated decision that works for both of you.
Relationship Coaching for Long-Distance Couples
Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain without knowing exactly what they involve.
However, once you understand what long-distance relationships are, what they are not and how to navigate them, you are a lot more likely to make it work.
We specialise in helping long-distance couples create and maintain a healthy relationship by building intimacy, trust and effective communication.
If you are starting a long-distance relationship or are already in one, send us a message to book an individual coaching session for yourself or a couples coaching session for you and your partner.
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Coaching Session – 60 minutes$120.00
