How to Save a Long-Distance Relationship from Falling Apart
Table of Contents
When you have been in a long-distance relationship for a while, you may encounter some problems. These problems can ruin your relationship if you don’t handle them the right ways. Today, you will learn how to save your long-distance relationship from falling apart.
- Identify the Problems in Your Relationship
- Check if These Problems Are Personal or Relationship Related
- Address Your Personal Issues on Your Own
- Address Your Relationship Issues Together
- Get professional help
Let’s take a look at each of these steps in more detail…
1. Identify the Problems in Your Relationship
When you have been in a long-distance relationship for a while, you may encounter some problems. If you don’t know how to handle them in the right way these problems can ruin your relationship.
Depending on where you are in your long-distance relationship, there are things you can do to save it. First, we should identify the problem and its cause to see what is the healthiest option to save your relationship.
If your long-distance relationship is falling apart, try to address the areas that are causing the issues. Once you figure out what exactly is the problem, discuss it with your partner.
Couples in a long-distance relationship find themselves in different circumstances. Sometimes they want to be together, but don’t have the means to do so.
After you talked to your long-distance partner about the issues, together you can try to find a way to fix them. To fix the problems in a long-distance relationship, you need willingness and effective communication. Check out more tips and ideas to improve communication with your long-distance partner.
If one of you isn’t willing to make an effort and work things out, then it’s probably not worth your time to do it by yourself.
To save your long-distance relationship, be honest with yourself and your partner.
Sometimes partners try to stick together even though their relationship isn’t working. If your long-distance relationship is no longer bringing you fulfilment, you need to reassess if it’s worth continuing it.
If you and your partner have the willingness to work out your issues, it’s worth your while to make an effort and save your relationship.
Get familiar with common problems as it will help you better navigate your long-distance relationship, avoid some of them and fix the ones that are holding you back.
2. Check if These Problems Are Personal or Relationship Related
Relationship is an interaction between two individuals. Each partner has their life story, preferences, values, needs and beliefs. For a romantic relationship to work each partner needs to take responsibility for their personal lives, choices and behaviours.
Unresolved personal issues can negatively impact a relationship. A long-distance relationship is even more susceptible to this due to the lack of ability to communicate face-to-face with each other and share your feelings through physical intimacy.
The best way to save a long-distance relationship is by making sure that you have trust and effective communication. As long as you have these two things, you have every chance of making it work.
Expressing your thoughts and feelings to your partner and asking them what’s on their mind, will help you create a deeper bond and build intimacy.
A key aspect in this step is responsibility. To have a healthy long-distance relationship, each partner must take responsibility for their thoughts, feelings and behaviours. When it comes to the dynamic of a relationship, both partners are equally responsible for creating a healthy relationship and making it work.
The problem with long-distance relationships is that it is a romantic relationships where partners are physically apart. In a romantic relationship, you expect physical intimacy. That is the only thing that separates friendship from a romantic relationship. In a long-distance relationship, there is an inherent lack of physical intimacy.
When a lack of physical and emotional intimacy gets in the way of a healthy relationship, there is plenty you can do to fix it. We have a dedicated step-by-step guide to show you how to be intimate in a long-distance relationship, even when you are physically apart.
While long-distance relationships can last for a few months, if you don’t see a way to move in together, you may want to reassess your relationship.
Having some time away from your relationship will help you reflect on your feelings and circumstances. You don’t have to make a drastic decision to end your relationship. You can always take a one or two weeks break and see how you feel. Then, reassess how you both feel about each other and your relationship.
After a little break, you may discover that you feel happier without this relationship, or maybe you decide that living together would be better. If you decide that you love each other and want to work things out, this willingness will help you.
Sometimes breaking up isn’t a bad thing. If you are dealing with many issues, and you are struggling to find a way to fix them, a breakup can be something to consider. If it comes to it, you want to try and separate on good terms when at all possible. Check out our article on how to end your long-distance relationship the right way.
3. Address Your Personal Issues on Your Own
Some examples of personal issues that can significantly impact your relationship are doubts, insecurities and your ability to trust. When partners create a romantic relationship, they bring their past traumas, suppressed feelings and unprocessed emotions.
It is normal to expect that every person has baggage. However, what makes or breaks a relationship is one’s ability to recognise their issues and be willing to address them.
Not to say that you can ask your partner for help and support because you absolutely can and should do that. However, the one thing you should keep in mind when it comes to your personal problems is that you need to take responsibility for solving them.
Don’t shy away from asking for help, but also avoid passing on the responsibility for your personal issues to anyone else.
One of the main problems that ruin long-distance relationships is lousy communication. When you’re away from your partner, it’s difficult to express yourself, and it’s easy for your partner to misunderstand what you mean.
Since communication problems are so common in a long-distance relationship, we have created a dedicated workbook to help couples improve the way they communicate, particularly online.
If you want to save your relationship, try to make an effort to express yourself as clearly as you can. Give your partner a chance to reflect on what you’re saying. Ask them what they understood to make sure you’re on the same page.
Once you and your partner have recognised your personal issues and accepted the responsibility for addressing them, it is time to reflect on how your individual behaviours contribute to your relationship.
4. Address Your Relationship Issues Together
Addressing relationship problems revolves around understanding how you and your partner perceive one another.
For example, the expression of love can mean something different to each of you. So, while you express love your way, it doesn’t necessarily mean that your partner will see your actions as an expression of love.
An easy way to deal with this is to establish what love means to each of you. Knowing that will help you show love in the way your partner can see it as such.
You can apply this technique to any aspect of your relationship. Doing so will help you set realistic expectations and meet each other’s needs. Of course, this is only possible when you and your partner communicate effectively and understand each other on a deeper level. To do that, you must trust each other.
If you are having any trust issues or concerns and don’t know how to bring them up, use our step-by-step guide to set you off in the right direction.
Maybe you are arguing and fighting too much because of poor communication. Effective communication is key to making your long-distance relationship work. To help you along, here is a workbook that will take you to step by step through everything you need to know about communication in your relationship.
If you feel like your long-distance relationship is dying, it could be because your feelings have faded, or you lost interest in being together.
Before you end your relationship, reflect on how your relationship contributes to your well-being. First, get clear if your issues are regarding your relationship or if they are caused by distance. In that case, you can do a trial for a few weeks or months to live together to see if you are happy.
If you want to save a failing relationship, you should understand why your relationship is failing. It could be that your feelings have changed or you can no longer tolerate the lack of physical intimacy.
A lack of physical intimacy is another big issue in a long-distance relationship. Many couples don’t have the means to visit each other as frequently as they’d like. Being apart for a long time has a risk of growing apart from your long-distance partner. Feel free to dive in deeper into what it takes to build intimacy in a long-distance relationship.
Suppose you don’t have the possibility of moving in and living together. In that case, it could be better to end your relationship or remain friends.
If you don’t see each other frequently, your feelings may fade away. One thing you can do to save your relationship at that point is to find a way to visit each other regularly and go on trips together. Our guide will give you the necessary steps to handle the distance and make the most of your time together.
If you don’t have the means to visit each other often, make a plan with a timeline for how long you will be apart during your long-distance relationship and when is the earliest you can move in together. Having a plan will reassure you and make it easier for you to maintain a connection without seeing each other for a while.
Maybe your relationship is failing because you expected to move in together at a specific time, which didn’t happen. Our guide on planning your long-distance relationship is a good place to start.
If one of you cheated and your trust is compromised, it is tough to maintain a healthy and successful long-distance relationship. Now would be a good time to reassess your relationship to see if it can work or if it’s time to let it go.
While it can be heartbreaking to let go of the person you love, if you have outgrown your relationship, now could be the time to end it. Staying in a dysfunctional relationship can be much worse than breaking up.
Ending a relationship is rarely black and white, so you may find yourself having doubts and going back and forth on your decisions.
If you find yourself in limbo and don’t know how to handle your break-up, speak to one of our coaches who specialise in long-distance relationships and breakups.
If you are getting on well together, you can remain good friends even after a breakup. You may also continue sharing intimate details about your personal lives, provided you trust each other above all else.
5. Get professional help
Your long-distance relationship is worth saving if you and your long-distance partner have the willingness to make it work. If one of you has lost interest in your relationship, you might be better off ending it.
As long as you and your partner want to make your relationship work, there is always a way to fix your relationship problems. If you would like to give your long-distance relationship your best shot, check out our complete step-by-step guide. It covers every aspect of a long-distance relationship, and you can work on it together with your partner.
If you want to make your long-distance relationship work, but struggling to find a way, our relationship coaches are here to offer the support and guidance you need.
Conclusion
Long-distance relationships can get hard for several reasons. One of them is poor communication. If you can’t express yourself clearly, it can lead to confusion, misunderstanding, and unnecessary fights and arguments.
The innate lack of physical intimacy in a romantic long-distance relationship poses another big issue. The only way you can improve it is by visiting each other more often or going on trips together.
If you find yourself struggling in a long-distance relationship, it may be worth taking a week or so to reflect on it. A bit of space can help you and your partner look at your relationship from a different perspective and re-evaluate what’s important to you.
You may find that you want to make your relationship work. To do that you will have to find a way to overcome challenges and embrace the opportunities that the distance brings into your relationship.
You may also realise that this long-distance relationship is no longer working and you’d rather stay friends or end your long-distance relationship altogether.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you know if your relationship is worth saving?
Your relationship is worth saving when you and your partner have the willingness and resources to make it work. Aside from that, if you don’t know how to identify and fix your problems, you can always get professional help from a relationship coach.
How do you save a long-distance relationship?
You save a long-distance relationship by improving your communication. Suppose you learn how to have effective communication by expressing yourself clearly and listening to your partner. In that case, you can fix most of the problems that you encounter.
How to save a long-distance relationship that is falling apart?
If your long-distance relationship is falling apart, take a moment to see if it’s worth saving. Some couples remain together even when their relationship brings nothing but suffering. If you and your partner decide that you want to make your relationship work, start by having a plan and improving your communication.
How to deal with a break up of a long-distance relationship?
If your long-distance relationship isn’t working, try to find the reasons why. Once you know what’s not working in your long-distance relationship, you can try to fix it, or you may decide to break up. As long as you decide together, you will avoid unnecessary pain and heartbreak.
How can I handle a long-distance relationship that is falling apart?
If you feel that your long-distance relationship isn’t working, you can explore why it isn’t working and what issues you need to address. The best way to go about it is by expressing your doubts and concerns to your long-distance partner. Also, take time to listen to their point of view. Once you understand each other, you can find solutions to most problems.
How do you save a long-distance relationship?
You save a long-distance relationship by improving your communication. Suppose you learn how to have effective communication by expressing yourself clearly and listening to your partner. In that case, you can fix most of the problems that you encounter.
How to save a long-distance relationship from breaking up?
You can save your long-distance relationship from breaking up by addressing the issues that have led to the breakup. That said, your relationship may have run its course and perhaps a breakup is a right thing to do.
How to save a dying long-distance relationship?
To save a dying long-distance relationship, consider opening up about your feelings and reservations. Discuss openly and honestly how you feel about each other, your relationship and the distance. Once you identify the culprit of your troubles, you will be in a position to deal with them effectively.
How to save a failing long-distance relationship?
To save a failing long-distance relationship, identify the expectations you have had about it and the reasons it did not work. While some reasons need know-how in order to fix them, others are there to tell you that your relationship may have come to an end. In any case, even if you chose to break up, it does not mean you have failed. Perhaps your relationship has evolved in ways you could not have predicted or controlled.
How to save a broken long-distance relationship?
To save a broken long-distance relationship it is worth reflecting on how it evolved and what got in the way of you making it work. Many problems come from poor communication or a lack of physical and emotional intimacy. The first step to mending your relationship is to have open and honest communication about your feelings, doubts and concerns. Once you understand each other, you will be in the right place to address the problems and rebuild the connection.
What is the best way to save a long-distance relationship?
The best way to save a long-distance relationship is to figure out why it did not work. To do that, you should take the time to hear each other out and find it in yourself to express your feelings and concerns as clearly as possible. Good communication and understanding will help you identify the areas of your relationship that need your attention.
How to fix a broken long-distance relationship?
You can fix a broken long-distance relationship by working out the areas of your relationship that need to be explored. Once you are clear on what exactly is broken, you can focus your attention on finding the root cause of these problems. With awareness, understanding and effective communication you can find the solutions that work for both of you.
How to save money in a long-distance relationship?
Saving money in a long-distance relationship isn’t a priority unless it’s for you to move in together. Suppose you have a plan on how long your long-distance relationship will last and when you will be able to move in together. In that case, you can pull through by having a common goal and working towards it. At the same time, trying to save money by not visiting each other will put extra pressure on your relationship due to an increased lack of physical intimacy. You may save money, but lose your relationship, so it may not be worth it in the end.
