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If you are in a long-distance relationship, you might be spending a lot of time on the phone with your long-distance partner. But is it a good thing?
When you are apart from your partner, it’s easy to get carried away talking on the phone for hours. While it’s tempting to talk to your long-distance partner as much as you can, long conversations without nothing to say will get boring. Long-distance relationship calls that last too long aren’t healthy.
Phone calls in a long-distance relationship are a big part of the communication you have with your partner. Usually, long-distance couples don’t give a second thought to when, how often or how much they call each other. But if you want to have a healthy relationship, you should start talking about it.
Long-Distance Relationship First Phone Call
When you are starting a long-distance relationship, the first phone call you make can be a strange experience. Up until that point, you’d probably have texted for a while and learnt a little bit about each other.
When you are getting to know someone new online, you are trying to have a complete image of the person based on the information you have.
You won’t really know someone until you spend some time together.
During your first phone call, hearing a person for the first time will give you a certain impression about them based on how they sound.
If you like their voice on the phone, it will contribute to a positive image of them in your mind. But if you don’t, it may leave you with negative feelings about them.
One of the dangers of a long-distance relationship is that it’s easy to jump to conclusions. And once you do, it’s hard to change your mind about the person.
It’s better to have your first phone call as a video call. Video calls give you a lot more feedback about that particular person.
Long-Distance Relationship Phone Call Topics
Phone calls are great when you want to catch up with your long-distance partner on the go. If you want to have a more serious discussion, you should make time for it when both of you are available.
Some phone call topics to have with your long-distance partner include:
- Talking about your day
- Catching up with recent events
- Asking quick questions about something specific
- You can talk about something just to hear their voice and to feel close.
The only thing you shouldn’t do is spend hours on the phone talking about nothing.
In a long-distance relationship, it’s important to manage the time you spend on phone calls. Because if you don’t, it can take over the life around you and after some time it may not feel as special.
Long-Distance Relationship Boring Phone Calls
Boring phone calls in a long-distance relationship are very common. Partners try to talk to each other to feel connected, to compensate for the lack of physical closeness. But there are only so many things you can talk about on the phone.
The more time you spent talking on the phone, the less time you have to do something interesting with your life.
At some point, once you’ve said everything you have to say, you should leave it at that.
Do you have a healthy long-distance relationship you’d find a balance between how much you talk to each other and how much time you dedicate to your own life?
You can consider spicing up your long-distance interaction and trying some fun activities you can do while in a long-distance relationship, check out this workbook.
How Often Should You Call Your Partner in a Long-Distance Relationship?
In a long-distance relationship, you should go often enough to feel connected but not too much so your conversations don’t get boring.
Some long-distance couples like to talk every day. While it’s fine to call every day, I wouldn’t advise spending hours on the phone with your long-distance partner.
When you are in a long-distance relationship, it’s important to have a balance between maintaining emotional connection and talking too much about nothing.
The frequency of phone calls in a long-distance relationship depends on what works for both of you.
Problems begin when one partner wants to speak on the phone more than the other. When this happens, both partners feel disadvantaged but for different reasons.
The best thing you can do is to agree with your partner on how often you should call each other so that both of you are happy with it. Try to avoid compromising and do something that only your partner wants. In the long run, it never works out.
For example, one of you may want to talk every day, while the other prefers to be busy with other things. In this case, you could agree to talk every day but not for too long. This way both of you get to catch up and have the time to do other things.
This workbook will help you and your long-distance partner improve your online communication.
Calling too Much in a Long-Distance Relationship
Calling too much can also become an issue in a long-distance relationship. The reason couples like to spend a lot of time talking to each other is that it helps them to feel close.
Talking on the phone is a great way to stay emotionally connected. But when you try to use phone calls as a compensation for the lack of physical closeness, that becomes a problem. For most common problems in long-distance relationships, take a look at this article.
No amount of phone conversations is going to replace physical closeness. You can try to talk more often, but you will still feel distant in a physical sense.
The more you call each other the less special it becomes. For a healthy long-distance relationship, you should consider talking on the phone when you want to share something meaningful. Try to avoid mumbling.
A healthy option for a long-distance relationship is to spend time doing interesting and exciting things with your time when you’re alone. And when you call each other, you’ll have something interesting to discuss.
If you don’t have anything interesting to talk about, your phone calls can become boring. At the same time, you may find yourself just moaning about things. This brings a lot of negativity into your long-distance relationship, so try to keep it fun and interesting or leave the conversation for another time when you will have something to talk about.
Check out this in-depth article on communication in a long-distance relationship.
Long-Distance Partner Calls Less
If you find that your long-distance partner calls less than before, they can be busy, or it can be a sign that they are losing interest in phone conversations. But, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are losing interest in you or your long-distance relationship.
Suppose you feel that there is a change and you are unsure why or what it means, you should ask your partner before you make any conclusions talk to them to see what’s really going on.
When you assume something without checking it, it will change your behaviour. This will leave your partner confused about what’s going on with you and with your relationship.
So, before making any decisions, try to get very clear about why your partner is calling you less often than before. In this case, it may be worth checking how healthy your long-distance relationship is. This guide will give you a good idea and direction to make an educated decision.
A Long-Distance Relationship Without Phone Calls
A long-distance relationship can work fine without any phone calls. If you prefer to talk to your partner via video calls or texts, that’s fine.
On the other hand, if you used to call each other and talk on the phone but now you don’t, you need to understand why.
There are many reasons why your partner doesn’t call you anymore. One reason could be that you used to talk too much, your conversations became boring, and they feel they could spend their time doing something else instead.
Maybe they don’t like talking to you on the phone for some other reasons. You’ll never know these reasons until you talk to them openly and honestly. Try to hear them out without assuming or jumping to any conclusions. Keep an open mind until you really understand what’s happening.
A lack of phone calls and communication in general can be a sign of drifting apart. With this guide you can address these issues and get your relationship back on track.
Long-Distance Relationship Video Calls
Video calls are the best way to communicate in a long-distance relationship. It’s not as effective as talking to someone who is next to you, but it’s better than phone calls or texts alone.
During video calls, you can see your partner’s expressions and get a clearer idea of how your partner responds to what you’re saying.
Calls and video calls are a huge part of a long-distance relationship. We cover other areas of a successful and healthy relationship in this article.
To summarise, phone calls are a great way to communicate in a long-distance relationship. While you may want to spend a lot of time talking to your partner long-distance, you should keep your conversations interesting. The quality of your conversations is more important than quantity.
If you find that you have nothing to say, then you can listen. If your partner runs out of things to say, then you should end the conversation and do something else.
If you talk too much, your conversations will become boring and will feel less special. Find something fun to do with your life and then share it with your partner. If you want to speak every day, that’s fine just don’t talk too much.
How Healthy Is Your Long-Distance Relationship?
If you are having doubts about your long-distance relationship and are not sure if you should try to fix it or let it go, here is our step by step guide to help you and your partner reassess your relationship and make an educated decision that works for both of you.
Relationship Coaching for Long-Distance Couples
Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain without knowing exactly what they involve.
However, once you understand what long-distance relationships are, what they are not and how to navigate them, you are a lot more likely to make it work.
We specialise in helping long-distance couples create and maintain a healthy relationship by building intimacy, trust and effective communication.
If you are starting a long-distance relationship or are already in one, send us a message to book an individual coaching session for yourself or a couples coaching session for you and your partner.
Frequently Asked Questions
How often should I call my partner in a long-distance relationship?
You should agree with your partner how often you’d like to talk on the phone as long as you don’t spend too much time talking that it takes over your individual lives.
What to talk about during phone calls in a long-distance relationship?
Phone calls are great to catch up with and to hear your partner’s voice. But staying on the phone for ages talking about nothing isn’t healthy.
What to talk about during video calls in a long-distance relationship?
Video calls are great to have any deep conversation. However, you should avoid arguing in a long-distance relationship altogether. If you disagree on something, try to hear each other out and find a way that works for both of you.
How to keep phone calls interesting in a long-distance relationship?
Phone calls can only be interesting if you have something interesting to share. If your phone calls get boring, try to do something fun with your life so that you can tell your partner all about it.
What to do if your long-distance partner is calling you too much?
You should tell your partner that this frequency of calling is too much for you. Ask them why they want to call this often and how you can find a balance that suits both of you.
What to do if your long-distance partner calls less?
If your long-distance partner calls less than before, you should ask them why. Maybe they are busy, maybe your conversations got boring, or maybe they have a different reason. Avoid assuming and guessing before you talk to them.