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Being in a long-distance relationship can cause uncertainty and many doubts. If left unchecked, it can put a strain in your relationship.
Doubts in a long-distance relationship are very normal. Doubts originate from uncertainty and insecurity about someone or something. Long-distance relationships are full of uncertainties. These uncertainties range from your feelings changing to practical things like when you will see your romantic partner next time.
Having doubts in a long-distance relationship is common, but you nee to understand why you or your partner are having them and learn how to deal with them
In this article, we’ll explore what doubts are, where they come from, the role they play in a long-distance relationship and how to deal with them.
What Is the Difference Between Having Questions and Having Doubts in a Long-Distance Relationship?
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, you face many doubts. The best way to deal with them is to recognise them and talk about them with your long-distance partner, as we’ll see later on.
First, let’s understand what doubts are and what is the difference between doubts and questions.
Much like questions, doubts come from uncertainties. For example, in a long-distance relationship, you may be uncertain of how your feelings may change while you are away from your romantic partner.
Then, the certainty about your feelings, poses a set of questions, like whether or not you will be able to make a long-distance relationship work. When this question starts to bother you emotionally, you may start worrying that your long-distance relationship will not work out.
The uncertainty plus the worry about this uncertainty is what gives birth to doubts. To deal with doubt in a long-distance relationship, you should understand what uncertainties you are facing, and how do you feel about these uncertainties.
We’ll talk more about how you can deal with doubts in a long-distance relationship in just a moment. First, let’s see if it’s normal to have doubts.
Is It Normal to Have Doubts in a Long-Distance Relationship?
To answer this question, we need to be clear on two things: what is normal and what are doubts?
Normal is conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected. The premise is if everyone is going through the same thing, it makes it ok because there must be a solution. So, you might be feeling worried and need reassurance that it will work out.
Doubt is a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction. It’s easy enough to see that you may want certainty. The problem is that certainty is an illusion. Predictability gives us a feeling of safety and security. But we don’t know what will happen.
All we can do is raise our awareness of the situation before making a decision. We are in a constant state of balance between doubt and certainty. When we question our circumstances, it helps us make a more educated decision, but it stops us from acting. When we are sure about something, we act before we think.
In a long-distance relationship, if you are having doubts, it means you are unsure about something, so ask yourself what it is.
You are in control. Don’t get bogged down with other peoples’ experiences. Sure, it can be helpful to learn from other couples and the mistakes they made, but you are having your own unique experience.
If you are having doubts about whether or not your long-distance relationship is healthy, use this guide to find the answers.
What Are the Common Doubts in a Long-Distance Relationship?
When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you are away from your romantic partner. A romantic partner is someone you would expect to be with to experience physical intimacy. So it can be disconcerting when your romantic partner is far away from you.
A long-distance relationship without a plan is like making a journey without a direction. If you enjoy the journey, you may not worry too much about the destination. But if you are struggling and having a hard time in your journey, then having a direction can give you the reassurance you need to keep going, and the direction is the correct one.
Having a plan on how long your long-distance relationship will last, how you will communicate, how often you will visit each other will help you navigate your long-distance relationship.
Here are some common doubts couples face in a long-distance relationship:
- Does your long-distance partner love you?
- Can you trust your long-distance partner, and can they trust you?
- How are you feeling about your partner and about being in a long-distance relationship?
- When will you reunite and how your reunion your relationship will work when you lived together?
- Will your feelings change when you live together?
- What if living together will ruin your relationship?
Click here to learn about common problems in long-distance relationships that cause partners a lot of uncertainty and doubt.
How to Deal with Doubts in a Long-Distance Relationship?
To deal with doubts in a long-distance relationship, you need to understand what kind of uncertainties you’re facing and how you feel about them.
For example, you may be uncertain about how your long-distance partner feels about you. A healthy way to deal with this uncertainty is to ask your partner directly. To do this, you need to trust that your long-distance partner will tell you the truth about how they feel.
Now let’s say you have this question on your mind, But you don’t ask your partner about their feelings for some reason. Little by little, this question will become a doubt in your mind. You may start thinking about what if your partner doesn’t love you. Then your mind can start creating stories based on this negative assumption.
If you don’t express your doubts and concerns to your partner, they will grow in your mind and can become an issue. So the best way to deal with doubts, regardless of how long you’ve had them, is to share them with your partner and ask them for their opinion.
Bringing up doubts can be difficult emotionally and practically. To make it easier, we have created this step by step guide that will help you and your partner have healthy conversations. Use this guide to express yourself, share your doubts and find a way to address them.
You could reduce the doubts in your relationship by having a plan of where is your relationship going and a timeline to reassure you that your plan is going in the right direction. And we have the workbook just for that!
How to Get Through Doubts in a Long-Distance Relationship?
A healthy way to get through doubts in a long-distance relationship is to deal with them as soon as they arise.
Now we know that doubt comes from uncertainty. So the first step is to learn what kind of uncertainty you are facing in your long-distance relationship right now.
Once you learn what exactly you are unsure about, you can get clear on how you feel about it. Doubt is uncertainty that leaves you worried and confused. To deal with doubts in a long-distance relationship, you need to have clarity about the things that bother you.
In this article, you can learn about different aspects of a long-distance relationship and how you can make it work.
As a rule of thumb, you should be able to express any doubt you have to your long-distance partner without reservations. If you don’t share things with your partner, they won’t be able to help you figure things out.
The only way you can work things out with your long-distance partner is if you have open and transparent communication. Open communication means that you can express your feelings to your partner freely, without fear of them judging you.
Effective communication also means that you can hear your partner out and understand their point of you. Your partner may see your long-distance relationship differently from you. This is normal.
To make a long-distance relationship work and for it to be healthy, both you and your long-distance partner must be willing to trust each other and to understand each other’s point of you.
Here is our complete guide to help you and your partner work out every issue in your long-distance relationship.
Doubts are part of any long-distance relationship. People have doubts about many things most of the time.
Doubts come from certainty about yourself, your partner, or your long-distance relationship.
While having doubts and a long-distance relationship is common and normal, to have a healthy relationship, you should address your doubts by discussing them with your long-distance partner.
It’s normal to have doubts. Doubts tell you that something in your life or your relationship isn’t working for you. The healthy thing to do is to recognise the source of your doubts and check if you need to make some changes.
Doubts can also come as a result of feeling insecure or uncertain about something or someone. These insecurities and uncertainties can result from distrust in yourself or the other person.
Before we get too deep, the point is that it’s ok to have doubts. But if you don’t address them and move on, they can affect your behaviour and create issues that don’t have to be there.
So, if something is troubling you, share it with your partner and try to work it out together. But if you are no longer feeling great about your relationship, don’t cling on to it.
How Healthy Is Your Long-Distance Relationship?
If you are having doubts about your long-distance relationship and are not sure if you should try to fix it or let it go, here is our step by step guide to help you and your partner reassess your relationship and make an educated decision that works for both of you.
Relationship Coaching for Long-Distance Couples
Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain without knowing exactly what they involve.
However, once you understand what long-distance relationships are, what they are not and how to navigate them, you are a lot more likely to make it work.
We specialise in helping long-distance couples create and maintain a healthy relationship by building intimacy, trust and effective communication.
If you are starting a long-distance relationship or are already in one, send us a message to book an individual coaching session for yourself or a couples coaching session for you and your partner.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it normal to have doubts in a long-distance relationship?
Doubts are part of life. The lack of touch in a long-distance relationship makes it hard to know how your relationship is going. This uncertainty together with other negative feelings you may experience gives rise to doubts. The best thing you can do is address them straight away with your partner.
How do you know your long-distance relationship is failing?
– You no longer have romantic feelings
– You don’t enjoy each other’s company
– Your relationship has become boring
– Problems are piling up and you don’t know how to fix them
– You are no longer interested in making this relationship work
Is it normal to struggle in a long-distance relationship?
While struggling in a long-distance relationship is normal, it does not mean it is healthy. Long-distance relationships have distance specific challenges. Knowing how to handle the distance can help overcome these challenges. Ignoring or not being able to overcome the challenges can lead to problems. Unresolved problems turn into struggles.
Should long-distance couples talk everyday?
Talking every day is not necessarily a good idea in a long-distance relationship. This is particularly true for couples who spend hours talking, even when they have nothing to talk about. This leads to excessive communication and may result in you losing interest in your long-distance relationship.
Can you be clingy in a long-distance relationship?
Being clingy is very common in long-distance relationships. Couples who do not see each other for long periods, experience a lack of physical intimacy. The only option to compensate for this lack of physical intimacy is by having and maintaining strong emotional connection. To achieve this, partners tend to talk more frequently and for longer. While understandable, this may lead to excessive communication and unhealthy relationship. A better way to maintain emotional intimacy is by working on the quality of your communication, rather than quantity.