Are Long-Distance Relationships Hard?

Are Long-Distance Relationships Hard

A lot of couples are scared of long-distance relationships. People believe that long-distance relationships are hard and that suffering is inevitable. But, is it true?

Long-distance relationships are hard for couples who do not know how to handle the distance. Communication and physical intimacy are the main aspects of a relationship affected by the distance. Long-distance relationships are easier to manage when you understand what they are, what they are not, and what it takes to make your relationship work when you are apart.

In this article, we’ll talk about what long-distance relationships are, common reasons why they are hard, and what you can do to make them easier.

What Are Long-Distance Relationships?

Long-distance relationships are romantic relationships where a couple is separated by geographical distance. Some people start a long-distance relationship by meeting their partner online. Others, have an existing relationship but have to live apart for some time.

Romantic relationships in their nature involve physical closeness. When starting a long-distance relationship online, people work towards meeting, visiting, and if all goes well moving in together. Couples who are already in a relationship would be looking to reunite after a long-distance relationship period.

In either of these situations, long-distance relationships can work very well. But they aren’t designed to last a long time. While you can have a long-distance friendship for many years, a romantic relationship needs physical intimacy. After a few months without physical intimacy, your relationship stops being romantic.

Problems begin when couples continue a long-distance relationship for a long-time without seeing each other as much as they would like. Here is an article that covers common problems in a long-distance relationship.

This leads to many issues and can be a waste of everyone’s time. That said, some couples might feel satisfied with occasional visits, so for them, long-distance relationships may work just fine. Whether or not this is healthy depends on individual feelings, circumstance, needs and satisfaction levels.

If you would like to know how healthy your long-distance relationship really is, check out this guide.

Reasons Why Long-Distance Relationships Are Hard

1. Treating a long-distance relationship as a regular one

One of the main reasons is people misunderstand what a long-distance relationship really is. Some couples continue being in a long-distance relationship in the same way they would a regular one. This creates a great deal of confusion and disappointment from false expectations.

To have a chance at healthy long-distance relationship, you should know how the distance affects your relationship and the best way to handle it. This step by step guide will help you and your partner manage the distance and make the most of your time apart.

2. A lack of physical intimacy

The lack of physical closeness that comes with a long-distance relationship affects couples more than they think it would. Physical closeness is a fundamental part of a romantic relationship.

Couples get into a relationship to be close to someone, to have someone to hold, and to be next to. A romantic relationship without physical intimacy is friendship.

This guide will help you maintain intimate connection, even when you are apart.

3. Excessive communication

Couples in long-distance relationships do not tend to discuss their preferences about the means and the frequency of their communication. In a regular relationship, communication is not something couples think about too much. Everyone gets on with their day and then catch up at the end of it.

In a long-distance relationship, couples try to compensate for the lack of physical closeness by talking and texting. But no amount of texting and talking can replace being close to each other.

So the texts and the calls can sometimes become continuous. This excessive communication creates another problem of not allowing each other personal space. It can quickly become suffocating and lead to more issues.

To address your communication issues in a loving way, check out this step by step guide.

4. Unresolved problems

Overthinking something that you could discuss with your partner can make your long-distance relationship much harder. It is normal to have many doubts and concerns with all the uncertainty that distance brings into your romantic relationship.

What makes a difference, is how you handle this uncertainty and deal with your doubts. It is much better to address everything that is on your mind as soon as possible by talking about it openly and honestly.

Unexpressed feelings and unresolved issues can lead to an unhealthy and toxic relationship. As a result, it is possible for you or your partner to grow apart and lose interest in your relationship.

The best way to deal with problems is by going through each aspect of your long-distance relationship, identify any particular issues and find solutions that work for both of you. If you are not sure how to approach your partner and begin the right conversation, this workbook will help you out.

Hard Parts of Long-Distance Relationships

Starting a new long-distance relationship online is quite exciting. There are plenty of online dating websites and apps. It cost nothing to keep in touch and get to know someone over the internet. Dating sites have a lot of profiles but can use filters to narrow down the search to your preferences.

For a new relationship, the hardest part is to choose the right partner. If you are struggling to find the right partner or having doubts about your current one, this guide will really help you get some clarity.

The hard thing in an existing relationship is to maintain an emotional connection without physical closeness. When you know what it’s like to be with someone, it’s harder to be away from them because you know what you are missing.

The distance may not make your relationship harder, but it will make it different.

Two hard things that couples face in a long-distance relationship is the lack of physical intimacy and distrust. Lack of physical intimacy can lead to cheating, and lack of clear communication can prompt jealousy. Cheating, jealousy, and distrust, in general, are outcomes of an unhealthy relationship.

It’s better to prevent them before they happen by maintaining a degree of understanding via effective communication. Because once a person acts on their insecurities or desperation from unfulfilled needs, the relationship becomes a lot harder to fix.

Your long-distance relationship gets hard when you start having conflicting feelings. We all feel insecure at times. But when the stress from doubts becomes your norm, it can lead to anxiety. At this point, your relationship is no longer healthy, as too many doubts and confusion get in the way of enjoyment and fuel insecurities.

The hardest part here is not being able to talk it over with your partner face to face to see if your doubts have reasons to be. Sometimes doubts are not based on anything specific and are products of insecurities.

The good news is that having strong communication with your partner allows you to address any doubts before they turn into bigger issues.

When Long-Distance Relationships Get Hard?

Long-distance relationships get hard when they last too long or when there is a communication breakdown. Being away from your partner for a short while can be good for your relationship. You get some time and space for yourself to reassess your personal life and look at your relationship from a different perspective.

If your long-distance relationship is healthy, after the time apart, you have a better chance of getting together and building a stronger long-term relationship.

However, if your relationship has issues, the distance will make them more visible. If this happens, you can either work out the things that bother you, or you may decide to end your relationship altogether.

How Do You Make a Long-Distance Relationship Easier?

To make your long-distance relationship easier, you need to know what made it hard:

  • Have your feelings changed?
  • Are you having issues related to the distance between you?
  • Are you missing the physical intimacy?
  • Is the emotional connection fading away?

If it is your feelings, then consider having an honest and open conversation with your partner and maybe consider having a break. If you are struggling with some aspects of being in a long-distance relationship like intimacy or communication, there’s a good chance you can work them out.

Maybe one of you wants to talk more than the other. You could agree on how often and how much you should talk that works for both of you.

Some people need physical intimacy more than others. If this is the case, maybe you could find a way to visit each other more often or having longer visits when you see each other.

The key to making your long-distance relationship work is good communication. As long as each of you can express your feelings and preferences, there is no need to hold back and overthink things.

If you are serious about making your long-distance relationship work, this article has you covered.

It is also important to hear each other’s feelings and see their point of view. This can help both of you understand each other better and give one another the emotional support to get through the rough patches.

Is It Hard to Maintain a Happy Long-Distance Relationship?

Long-distance relationships should not be hard to maintain. However, many couples approach it as a regular relationship, and this makes it a lot harder.

A long-distance relationship is not meant to last a long time. A romantic relationship implies having physical intimacy, which is a long-distance relationship is not an option. At least not regularly.

When couples try to maintain a long-distance relationship for a long period, they end up feeling stressed and sexually frustrated.

With time, this frustration grows, turning a loving long-distance relationship into the one that is a chore.

If you find yourself having to make a lot of effort to maintain your long-distance relationship, try to talk to your long-distance partner about your personal lives and your long-distance relationship as a whole.

It can certainly be challenging to maintain a healthy long-distance relationship. And that is why we have created this workbook that covers many aspects of an LDR and allows you and your partner to work together on your relationship.

Is It Hard to Keep a Long-Distance Relationship Strong and Healthy?

Long-distance relationships can be hard. There are many challenges when the romantic couple tries to stay together regardless of the physical distance.

Romantic relationship implies having physical intimacy. If you are away from your partner for prolonged periods, you are missing out on being physically intimate with them. A long-distance relationship without physical intimacy becomes a friendship.

Many couples ignore this fact, and at some point, partners in a long-distance relationship begin feeling deprived of physical intimacy. This leads to sexual frustration and arguments.

As time goes by, it can become harder and harder to maintain a healthy long-distance relationship. At that point, long-distance relationships can become a burden. Some couples choose to continue their struggle with a long-distance relationship, and others decide to end it.

Long-distance relationships can be fun and can work fine for a short while. But if you try to make a long-distance relationship last for a long time, it does not work as well.

Sometimes long-distance relationships can get boring and you might lose the spark. If that is you, here is a workbook that will help you rekindle your relationship.


Long-distance relationships are not inherently hard. It is just that partners make them hard by misunderstanding what they are. Trying to maintain a healthy long-distance relationship for a long period, gets harder with time.

In themselves, long-distance relationships are not hard. At least they aren’t much harder than any other regular relationship.  In reality, they are just different from normal relationships in some ways. 

If you are starting a long-distance relationship without understanding how the distance affects your relationship, it will be hard for you to have a successful relationship. In this article, we’ve covered common problems that couples face in a long-distance relationship and several ways to avoid and fix them.

With enough commitment and attachment, you can make your long-distance relationship last a long time. But the longer it lasts, the harder it’ll get. At some point, all you might feel is sadness and frustration. Then, you’ll need to ask yourself if this is what you want your relationship to be like.

Here is an article about how long long-distance relationships last.

There are many situations where circumstances may seem complicated. Often people find themselves stuck in a relationship where they are not happy but which they feel they cannot end for some reason.

To have a successful long-distance relationship, you should know what to expect from it. To have a healthy relationship, you should have specific goals and a plan to achieve them. If you do not have them yet, these workbooks have you covered.

How Healthy Is Your Long-Distance Relationship?

If you are having doubts about your long-distance relationship and are not sure if you should try to fix it or let it go, here is our step by step guide to help you and your partner reassess your relationship and make an educated decision that works for both of you.

Relationship Coaching for Long-Distance Couples

Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain without knowing exactly what they involve.

However, once you understand what long-distance relationships are, what they are not and how to navigate them, you are a lot more likely to make it work.

We specialise in helping long-distance couples create and maintain a healthy relationship by building intimacy, trust and effective communication.

If you are starting a long-distance relationship or are already in one, send us a message to book an individual coaching session for yourself or a couples coaching session for you and your partner.

Frequently Asked Questions

Are long-distance relationships hard?

In themselves, long-distance relationships are not hard. At least they aren’t much harder than any other regular relationship. In reality, they are just different from normal relationships in some ways. 

Are long-distance relationships stressful?

Long-distance relationships tend to get stressful if they last a long time. The longer your relationship has to be long-distance, the harder it is to maintain, and the more stressful it becomes.

What is the hardest thing about long-distance relationships?

Communication is the key to any relationship. In a regular relationship, there are ways around like ignoring the issue or making up instead of talking about things. But long-distance relationships don’t offer such a luxury. If something goes unsaid, you have a lot of alone time to overthink things and create issues that have a high potential to destroy your relationship. So talk about things that matter.

How hard are long-distance relationships in college?

College is a place to meet new people, expand your world, and have fun. While a lot of young couples have every intention to stay together, the college offers a lot of temptations. It might be healthy to have a break, explore the world and, if it’s meant to be, you’ll find your way back to each other.

When long-distance relationships get hard?

Long-distance relationships are hard in the very beginning when partners find themselves unable to hug each other at the end of the day. After a few months comes a time when this situation becomes a new normal. But is it normal when you can’t touch your romantic partner?

How can I make a long-distance relationship easier?

Begin by understanding why you are in a long-distance relationship.

How often will you see each other?
How long are you expecting it to last?
How are you and your partner feeling about it?

Keep in mind that one of you may be more comfortable with a long-distance relationship than the other. Express your needs and be accommodating towards one another.

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