Sexually Frustrated in a Long-Distance Relationship

If you’re in a long-distance relationship, you’ve probably experienced a lack of physical intimacy and times when you were sexually frustrated.

Being sexually frustrated in a long-distance relationship is quite common. Long-distance couples are away from each other for weeks at a time. During this period, the only way to feel connected is through phone calls, texting, and video calls. If your communication is good, you will stay emotionally connected, but the lack of physical intimacy can lead you feeling sexually frustrated.

When you don’t know how to handle your sexual frustration in a long-distance relationship, it can affect your relationship and harm your life in general.

In this article, we’ll discuss what causes sexual frustration in a long-distance relationship, how it can affect your relationship, and what can you do to manage it healthily.

Why Do You Feel Sexually Frustrated in a Long-Distance Relationship?

Lack of physical intimacy in a long-distance relationship leads to sexual frustration. Some couples go for weeks or even months without seeing each other. Lack of physical intimacy can be a big problem in a romantic relationship.

When you start a romantic relationship, you expect to be physically close to your partner. If you are in a romantic relationship, you want hugs, kisses, touch and sex. In a long-distance relationship, you can only do these things when you visit each other.

To maintain a connection with a romantic partner, you need emotional intimacy and physical intimacy as part of your relationship. When you are away from your partner, you can maintain emotional intimacy by having good communication via online means.

If you have trust and understanding, you can discuss most of the topics via text messages, phone calls, or video calls. Some ways of communicating are better for particular issues. 

For example, if you want to talk about meaningful things like your feelings or your relationship, it’s best to do it via video calls when you can see each other. Text messaging and phone calls are sufficient to let your partner know that you think of them, and you love them.

Working on your communication can help you maintain emotional intimacy with your long-distance partner. You may not get to see your partner that often, but you can connect with more love and understanding, which in turn will make more bearable the time you have to be physically apart. You can improve your communication with this workbook.

Improve communication in your long-distance relationship - WORKBOOK

How Does Sexual Frustration Affect Your Long-Distance Relationship?

Sexual frustration in a long-distance relationship doesn’t only affect the sexual aspect of your life. This frustration affects other areas of your life, like work and friendships.

Sexual frustration affects your long-distance relationship in many ways. The obvious one is a desire to fulfil your sexual needs. If you’re in a romantic relationship your need for sex, it’s probably somewhere at the top of your list. In a long-distance relationship, you can only have sex with your partner when you see them, which can be once every few weeks or months.

If the distance in your relationship only lasts for a few months until you move in together, there are ways you can manage your sexual desire. You can play with your partner on video calls, texting, or phone calls. However, if the distance in your long-distance relationship lasts a long time, it will become unhealthy from a sexual point of view.

When you don’t see your romantic partner for a long time, you will naturally want to fulfil your sexual desires with someone else. Telling your partner about it can be awkward and uncomfortable. Some people tend to get involved with other people outside of their relationship.

Having sex with someone else without telling your partner is cheating. Not only do you sleep with another person, but you will also be lying to your partner about it.

While finding a way to fulfil your sexual needs isn’t nearly as harmful, compromising the trust of your partner is unhealthy and destructive for your relationship.

How to Manage Sexual Frustration in a Long-Distance Relationship?

To manage sexual frustration in a long-distance relationship, you need to take it for what it is. Sexual frustration is a sign that your sexual needs and desires are not fulfilled. Trying to ignore that fact or to suppress your feelings isn’t going to work. 

You may think that you are compromising for the sake of your relationship, but in reality, you are making yourself unhappy. When you are dissatisfied in the relationship, it won’t be long before your whole relationship becomes unhappy as well.

So, if you are in a long-distance relationship, you need to have a sex talk with your partner. You need to agree on how often you can visit each other and if it’s usually enough to fulfil your sexual needs.

If you can’t visit each other frequently enough, you may consider an open long-distance relationship. And open long-distance relationship allows you to maintain the trust and connection with your romantic partner while fulfilling your sexual desires with someone close to you.

While it’s not for everyone, it is certainly something to consider. Suppose you don’t think that you are comfortable with an open long-distance relationship, nor can you see each other often enough. In that case, the only other option is to end your relationship. You don’t have to forget about each other; you can remain friends.

The one crucial thing in all of this is that you maintain trust and understanding with each other, no matter what. Without trust and understanding, you cannot have a healthy relationship of any kind.

On the other hand, if you do have trust and understanding, your circumstances may change in the future. If you can’t be together at the moment, it doesn’t mean you won’t be able to continue your relationship in the future.

You can also release sexual tension by doing creative activities. These activities can be physical or artistic. So, that’s another option to consider.


Sexual frustration is common amongst most long-distance couples. The reason for this sexual frustration is the lack of physical intimacy.

For couples living together, physical intimacy isn’t an issue, unless they’re going through different kinds of problems. In a long-distance relationship, however, the distance gets in the way of the physical closeness.

Without physical intimacy, a romantic relationship cannot last a long time. If you are in a long-distance relationship with the romantic partner, make sure you have a plan and a timeline for how long a long-distance relationship will last and well you will be able to move in together.

It’s not difficult to maintain a healthy long-distance relationship for a few months, but if you try to make it last a long time, you may find yourself struggling and frustrated more often than not.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you calm down when sexually frustrated?

When you are sexually frustrated, it’s good to talk to your partner about it. Recognise your frustration for what it is, express it and together find a way to handle it. Maybe it’s a matter of you visiting each other more often or moving in together sooner. If these are not options in your current circumstances, you may consider an open long-distance relationship.

How can you tell if a woman is sexually frustrated?

Sexual frustration can manifest in many different ways. Sometimes it is hard to identify just by talking to another person if their frustration has a sexual origin, or if it’s something else that is bothering them. One thing you need to do is to talk about it, instead of jumping to conclusion and assumptions.

Why do I feel sexually frustrated in a long-distance relationship?

Sexual frustration in a long-distance relationship comes from the lack of physical intimacy. If you are in a romantic relationship, you expect to be physically intimate with your partner. Naturally, when you go for weeks without seeing each other, you won’t be able to be close to each other. This inability to physically connect to your romantic partner can lead to a feeling of frustration.

What happens when a woman is sexually frustrated in a long-distance relationship?

When a woman is sexually frustrated, nothing happens, that’s why she is sexually frustrated. It can manifest as anger, spitefulness, defensiveness, and irritability. When this happens, neither partners are happy about it. So it’s in both of your interests to find a way to manage sexual frustration and physical intimacy in your long-distance relationship.


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