Sexually Frustrated in a Long-Distance Relationship

Sexually Frustrated in a Long-Distance Relationship

If you’re in a long-distance relationship, you’ve probably experienced a lack of physical intimacy and times when you were sexually frustrated.

Long-distance partners who are away from each other for weeks at a time often experience sexual frustration. During this period, the only way to feel connected is through phone calls, texting, and video calls. If your communication is good, you will stay emotionally connected, but the lack of physical intimacy can lead you feeling sexually frustrated.

When you don’t know how to handle your sexual frustration in a long-distance relationship, it can affect your relationship and harm your life in general.

In this article, we’ll discuss what causes sexual frustration in a long-distance relationship, how it can affect your relationship, and what can you do to manage it healthily.

Why Do You Feel Sexually Frustrated in a Long-Distance Relationship?

Lack of physical intimacy in a long-distance relationship leads to sexual frustration. Some couples go for weeks or even months without seeing each other. Lack of physical intimacy can be a big problem in a romantic relationship.

When you start a romantic relationship, you expect to be physically close to your partner. If you are in a romantic relationship, you want hugs, kisses, touch and sex. In a long-distance relationship, you can only do these things when you visit each other.

To maintain a connection with a romantic partner, you need emotional intimacy and physical intimacy as part of your relationship. When you are away from your partner, you can maintain emotional intimacy by having good communication via online means.

If you have trust and understanding, you can discuss most of the topics via text messages, phone calls, or video calls. Some ways of communicating are better for particular issues. 

For example, if you want to talk about meaningful things like your feelings or your relationship, it’s best to do it via video calls when you can see each other. Text messaging and phone calls are sufficient to let your partner know that you think of them, and you love them.

Working on your communication can help you maintain emotional intimacy with your long-distance partner. You may not get to see your partner that often, but you can connect with more love and understanding, which in turn will make more bearable the time you have to be physically apart. You can improve your communication with this workbook.

How Does Sexual Frustration Affect Your Long-Distance Relationship?

Sexual frustration in a long-distance relationship doesn’t only affect the sexual aspect of your life. This frustration affects other areas of your life, like work and friendships.

Sexual frustration affects your long-distance relationship in many ways. The obvious one is a desire to fulfil your sexual needs. If you’re in a romantic relationship your need for sex, it’s probably somewhere at the top of your list. In a long-distance relationship, you can only have sex with your partner when you see them, which can be once every few weeks or months.

If the distance in your relationship only lasts for a few months until you move in together, there are ways you can manage your sexual desire. You can play with your partner on video calls, texting, or phone calls. However, if the distance in your long-distance relationship lasts a long time, it will become unhealthy from a sexual point of view.

When you don’t see your romantic partner for a long time, you will naturally want to fulfil your sexual desires with someone else. Telling your partner about it can be awkward and uncomfortable. Some people tend to get involved with other people outside of their relationship.

Having sex with someone else without telling your partner is cheating. Not only do you sleep with another person, but you will also be lying to your partner about it.

While finding a way to fulfil your sexual needs isn’t nearly as harmful, compromising the trust of your partner is unhealthy and destructive for your relationship.

How to Manage Sexual Frustration in a Long-Distance Relationship?

To manage sexual frustration in a long-distance relationship, you need to take it for what it is. Sexual frustration is a sign that your sexual needs and desires are not fulfilled. Trying to ignore that fact or to suppress your feelings isn’t going to work. 

You may think that you are compromising for the sake of your relationship, but in reality, you are making yourself unhappy. When you are dissatisfied in the relationship, it won’t be long before your whole relationship becomes unhappy as well.

So, if you are in a long-distance relationship, you need to have a sex talk with your partner. You need to agree on how often you can visit each other and if it’s usually enough to fulfil your sexual needs.

If you can’t visit each other frequently enough, you may consider an open long-distance relationship. And open long-distance relationship allows you to maintain the trust and connection with your romantic partner while fulfilling your sexual desires with someone close to you.

While it’s not for everyone, it is certainly something to consider. Suppose you don’t think that you are comfortable with an open long-distance relationship, nor can you see each other often enough. In that case, the only other option is to end your relationship. You don’t have to forget about each other and you can remain friends.

If it comes to you ending your long-distance relationship, here is an article on how you can do it in a healthy and respectful way.

The one crucial thing in all of this is that you maintain trust and understanding with each other, no matter what. Without trust and understanding, you cannot have a healthy relationship of any kind.

On the other hand, if you do have trust and understanding, your circumstances may change in the future. If you can’t be together at the moment, it doesn’t mean you won’t be able to continue your relationship in the future.

You can also release sexual tension by doing creative activities. These activities can be physical or artistic. So, that’s another option to consider.

Overall, to manage sexual frustration in a long-distance relationship, you need to know how to be intimate while apart, so you can address any intimacy issues you may face. To help you get started, we have created this step by step guide.

How to Make Your Long-Distance Relationships Work Sexually?

A lack of sexual intimacy is one of the main reasons why long-distance relationships don’t work.

One way to deal with sexual frustration is to agree to see other people by having an open long-distance relationship. However, this idea isn’t for everyone and if there is a risk of falling for someone else.

  • Discuss how long the distance will last
  • Agree on how often you need to see each other for sexual satisfaction
  • Consider how you will satisfy your sexual needs while apart
  • Set clear and specific goals of what you want to achieve during your long-distance relationship

It also helps to discuss how you will know when it’s time to move in together, turn your relationship into a friendship or break up and move on

When you’re apart from your long-distance partner, you can spice up your relationship with sexting, interactive sex toys and virtual sex. But none of these things replaces physical closeness with someone you love. One thing you can do is to visit each other regularly.

For more ideas on how to make your long-distance relationship work, see this article.

If you have the means to see each other often, long-distance relationships are not as tricky. However, many couples are not in a position to do so.

One thing to consider when it comes to sexual life in a long-distance relationship is how much you and your partner need sex. Usually, one partner needs it more than the other.

If you need sex more frequently than your partner, it would be harder for you to manage without it. In this case, you should share your feelings with your partner and allow them to help you by arranging more frequent visits or moving in sooner.

Note that a long-distance relationship is not a complete romantic relationship. It’s a phase in your relationship that allows you to get to know each other better. You can make the most out of your long-distance relationship by fixing the problems you may encounter along the way.

Here is a complete step by step guide that covers all aspects of a long-distance relationship.

How to Handle a Long-Distance Relationship Sexually?

The only way you can handle your long-distance relationship sexually is by regularly visiting your long-distance partner.

Long-distance relationships are innately hard because of the lack of physical intimacy. If you’re starting a new long-distance relationship, you can spend a few months getting to know each other. However, if you plan to have a full romantic relationship, you need a plan to move in together.

Moving in together can be a challenging experience emotionally and financially. But, if you find someone you love and enjoy spending time with, living together is the next step towards a serious relationship.

Meanwhile, while you live apart, you can maintain sexual intimacy by talking about sexual things online, play naughty games or having virtual sex. These things can make your long-distance relationship more fun. However, they won’t replace physical intimacy.

This article goes in more detail on intimacy on a long-distance relationship.

How to Cope Sexually in a Long-Distance Relationship?

A romantic relationship implies having physical intimacy. If you started a long-distance relationship online, you could easily spend a couple of months getting to know each other. But if your relationship becomes serious, you need to find a way to visit each other regularly and set a date for moving in together.

A long-distance relationship, without a plan, a timeline and end date, isn’t going to work. You can make it last for a long time, but all that will do is bring your sexual frustration, depression and anxiety.

You can maintain sexual intimacy online. It’s not going to be the same as being with your partner, but it will bring you a certain degree of satisfaction for the times when you feel horny and alone. When you’re away from your romantic partner, you can do things like sexting, play naughty games online, and have virtual sex.

When you love someone, you may be willing to make sacrifices in the name of staying together. For example, if you really need sexual intimacy, you may choose to put up with your sexual frustration. The problem with making sacrifices is that negative feelings build up inside of you and silently influence your behaviour.

For example, you can suppress your sexual desires. But after a while, they will lead to sexual frustration. Then frustration is going to affect other aspects of your life and your relationship. Persistent feelings of sadness and frustration can lead to anxiety and depression. Once you find yourself depressed and anxious, it can be a long way out of that state. 

So, there are times for compromises, but only if you are aware of the consequences and can cope with them.

There are two things you can do to manage your LDR sexually. One way is to spice up your relationship and make it more fun and exciting. Another way is by visiting each other regularly and making the most of your time together.


Sexual frustration is common amongst most long-distance couples. The reason for this sexual frustration is the lack of physical intimacy.

For couples living together, physical intimacy isn’t an issue, unless they’re going through different kinds of problems. In a long-distance relationship, however, the distance gets in the way of the physical closeness.

Without physical intimacy, a romantic relationship cannot last a long time. If you are in a long-distance relationship with the romantic partner, make sure you have a plan and a timeline for how long a long-distance relationship will last and well you will be able to move in together.

It’s not difficult to maintain a healthy long-distance relationship for a few months, but if you try to make it last a long time, you may find yourself struggling and frustrated more often than not.

How Healthy Is Your Long-Distance Relationship?

If you are having doubts about your long-distance relationship and are not sure if you should try to fix it or let it go, here is our step by step guide to help you and your partner reassess your relationship and make an educated decision that works for both of you.

Relationship Coaching for Long-Distance Couples

Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain without knowing exactly what they involve.

However, once you understand what long-distance relationships are, what they are not and how to navigate them, you are a lot more likely to make it work.

We specialise in helping long-distance couples create and maintain a healthy relationship by building intimacy, trust and effective communication.

If you are starting a long-distance relationship or are already in one, send us a message to book an individual coaching session for yourself or a couples coaching session for you and your partner.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you calm down when sexually frustrated?

When you are sexually frustrated, it’s good to talk to your partner about it. Recognise your frustration for what it is, express it and together find a way to handle it. Maybe it’s a matter of you visiting each other more often or moving in together sooner. If these are not options in your current circumstances, you may consider an open long-distance relationship.

How can you tell if a woman is sexually frustrated?

Sexual frustration can manifest in many different ways. Sometimes it is hard to identify just by talking to another person if their frustration has a sexual origin, or if it’s something else that is bothering them. One thing you need to do is to talk about it, instead of jumping to conclusion and assumptions.

Why do I feel sexually frustrated in a long-distance relationship?

Sexual frustration in a long-distance relationship comes from the lack of physical intimacy. If you are in a romantic relationship, you expect to be physically intimate with your partner. Naturally, when you go for weeks without seeing each other, you won’t be able to be close to each other. This inability to physically connect to your romantic partner can lead to a feeling of frustration.

What happens when a woman is sexually frustrated in a long-distance relationship?

When a woman is sexually frustrated, nothing happens, that’s why she is sexually frustrated. It can manifest as anger, spitefulness, defensiveness, and irritability. When this happens, neither partners are happy about it. So it’s in both of your interests to find a way to manage sexual frustration and physical intimacy in your long-distance relationship.

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