Anxiety in a Long-Distance Relationship

A long-distance relationship can bring a lot of uncertainty and it’s not uncommon feeling anxious while in this relationship.

Anxiety in a long-distance relationship is caused by the many uncertainties and doubts about your relationship. Not seeing your romantic partner, a regular basis can leave you feeling insecure about how your long-distance relationship is going. You can deal with anxiety by figuring out the things that make you feel nervous and talk about them with your long-distance partner.

In this article, we’ll look at anxiety as a state of fear and nervousness that affects your life and your long-distance relationship. Anxiety and also be a nervous disorder, which is beyond a spectrum of this article. If you are worried about having such a condition, it’s best to see your doctor.

What Is Anxiety and How Does It Affect Your Long-Distance Relationship?

Anxiety is defined as a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

In a long-distance relationship, there are many occasions where you feel nervous and unease about being away from your romantic partner.

The reason you start a romantic relationship is to be close to the person for whom you have feelings. When you find yourself in a relationship with someone you love, but separated by the distance and with the inability to touch them, it can quickly turn into a struggle.

You may find a way to deal with uneasiness in a long-distance relationship for a little while. However, when your long-distance relationship lasts a long time, the nervousness and anxiety can become chronic. When it happens, you may stop enjoying being in such a relationship.

Suppose your long-distance relationship brings you more heartache and suffering than joy and fulfilment. In that case, it could be best to sort out the issues or end your relationship altogether.

Is It Normal to Have Anxiety in a Long-Distance Relationship?

Anxiety is quite common in long-distance relationships. But just because it’s common doesn’t make it healthy. Feelings of nervousness, uncertainty and insecurity are normal. Those are the feelings that every person experiences at some point in their life.

These feelings turn into chronic anxiety and become an issue when they predominate over other, more positive emotions. Another problem with chronic anxiety in a long-distance relationship is its negative impact on your life and your relationship.

Can Long-Distance Relationship Cause Anxiety? 

A long-distance relationship comes with a lot of uncertainties. You will always be uncertain about where your long-distance relationship is going unless you have a plan for moving in and living together.

Suppose you don’t have effective communication and understanding with your long-distance partner. In that case, it will be hard for you to judge the state of your relationship. 

When you are uncertain about whether or not your long-distance relationship is healthy, you might start having more and more doubts. Increasing doubts together with insecurities and the uncertainty about your long-distance relationship can manifest as a constant feeling of anxiety.

Separation Anxiety in a Long-Distance Relationship

Separation anxiety is quite prominent in children who are separated from their parents for the first time. When it comes to long-distance relationships, separation anxiety can be felt every time you go back to your homes after visiting each other.

It can be hard to say goodbye yet another time while feeling helpless to do anything about it. At least this is the belief that most long-distance couples have. Couples believe that long-distance relationship is something inevitable that they have to do. But the truth is that a long-distance relationship is a choice.

You can be in love with each other. Still, if you cannot see a way to be together physically, your romantic relationship will quickly turn into hardship. Relationships are meant to be enjoyed. They suppose to bring fulfilment into your life and contribute to your general well-being.

When you are feeling anxious for most of your relationship, and even more so after your visits, this is not a sustainable way of having a relationship. Well, you may feel very much attached. But attachment is not the same as love.

On the other hand, you might be in love and happy in a long-distance relationship during your visits. You also may enjoy having your own time to yourself in-between visits. In this case, a long-distance relationship is a great way for you to stay connected with another person.

Depression and Anxiety in a Long-Distance Relationship

Some people experience depression and anxiety symptoms at the same time. Depression leaves you feeling sad, helpless, and hopeless. With anxiety, you feel nervous, afraid, and frustrated.

Combine these feelings, and your life becomes a misery. Depression and anxiety can be something that you have developed from your past experiences. In this case, it would help if you were to work it out before creating a relationship. Otherwise, you will carry your unresolved issues into your relationships. 

However, if it is a long-distance relationship that is causing you to feel this way, maybe it’s time to reconsider being in such a relationship.

Dealing with Anxiety in a Long-Distance Relationship

There are many ways to deal with anxiety in a long-distance relationship. First of all, you should know the source of your stress. A long-distance relationship comes with a lot of uncertainties. If you think that these uncertainties are the reason that you are feeling nervous and frustrated most of the time, making a plan can be a good start.

Having a plan and a timeline for a long-distance relationship will give you reassurance and guidance on where your long-distance relationship is going. When you know that your long-distance relationship is going to last a certain amount of time, you can prepare and plan for it.

If you are uncertain about your feelings and your connection with your long-distance partner, working on your communication skills can do wonders. It’s worth taking the time to learn how to communicate effectively with your long-distance partner so that you can maintain an emotional connection.

Having a plan for your long-distance relationship will help you to set the dates for visiting each other. It will give you a chance to do something interesting in between your visits.

If you do, the above anxiety should be less of a problem if it is caused by the fact of being in a long-distance relationship. After your visit, you don’t need to be sad or anxious, because you know that you are going to see your friends or do something exciting with your life.

However, if you feel anxious every time you separate from your long-distance partner, maybe try to find a way to move in together sooner.

One thing that may help you deal with anxiety in your long-distance relationship is to develop understanding with your partner by improving your communication. If you are struggling and don’t know where to begin, check out this workbook that will give guidance and will help you and your partner to work on your relationship together:

Improve communication in your long-distance relationship - WORKBOOK

Being in the Long-Distance Relationship with a Partner Who Has Anxiety

When you are in the long-distance relationship with the person who has chronic anxiety, try to be patient and caring with them. Anxiety can be overwhelming and can override anything that makes sense or is reasonable to think or do.

If your long-distance partner has an anxiety episode, one thing you can do is be there for them. Take the time to listen without criticism judgement or impatience. On many occasions, just being present can mean the whole world to the person who is feeling anxious or depressed.

Anxiety in a New Long-Distance Relationship 

When you start a new long-distance relationship, you may feel excited and anxious at the same time. Getting to know someone in a long-distance relationship can be a fun way to learn about another person.

But the fact that you cannot see the person leaves a lot to your imagination. If you tend to have negative thoughts, doubts, and insecurities, not having real-time physical feedback can be frustrating and can leave you feeling even more nervous.

It helps when your partner is nearby to reassure you how they feel in response to what you are saying.


A long-distance relationship comes with a lot of uncertainties. If you are a generally nervous person, having a relationship with someone who you cannot see face to face, feel, or touch will be difficult.

When you are in a long-distance relationship, you spend a lot of time with yourself and with your thoughts. If you are a happy and positive person, you will be optimistic about your long-distance relationship.

If you tend to have negative thoughts, fears, doubts, and insecurities, being alone can prompt negative assumptions about your long-distance partner and your relationship.

When you find yourself anxious, or when your long-distance partner becomes nervous, the best thing you can do is talk about your thoughts and feelings to each other. The moment you discuss them out in the open, they will have less power over you.

If you are a right match with your partner and both of you can handle uncertainties there is no reason why you can’t make it work over long-distance.

However, suppose chronic anxiety is part of your relationship, and you don’t know how to handle it. In that case, long-distance may not be the best kind of relationship for you. You may be better off remaining friends with your long-distance partner and find somebody else to be romantically involved with nearby.


1. Subscribe to our Newsletter
Receive Tips & Advice on how you can improve your relationship.

2. Read our Blog
Learn all there is to know about relationships and how to make them work. Here you can find helpful articles for every aspect of your relationship.

Get in touch to see how we can help!

3. Buy a Workbook
Check out our selection and choose the most relevant workbook for your relationship.

4. Book a Coaching Session
If you help right now…
If you have a burning issue…
If you are facing an important decision…
If you are lost and unsure about your relationship…

Frequently Asked Questions

Why is a long-distance relationship giving me anxiety?

Long-distance relationship has a lot of uncertainties. On top of that, you spend a lot of time alone with your thoughts. If you tend to have negative thoughts, doubts, and insecurities, you will likely start having negative assumptions about your long-distance relationship. These assumptions can turn into beliefs and can make you feel even more nervous.

How do you deal with anxiety in a long-distance relationship?

The best way to deal with anxiety in a long-distance relationship is to talk about your feelings with your partner. We all feeling afraid nervous and frustrated at some point in our lives. The problem with chronic anxiety is when these feelings persist and impact your life experience and your relationship. If talking to your partner isn’t enough, consider getting help from a professional.

Similar Posts