Anxiety in a Long-Distance Relationship

A long-distance relationship can bring a lot of uncertainty and it’s not uncommon feeling anxious while in this relationship.

Anxiety in a long-distance relationship is a frequent feeling of being stressed. This anxiety is caused by uncertainties and doubts about your relationship. Not seeing your romantic partner, can leave you feeling insecure about the state of the relationship and doubts about your partner’s feelings for you. One way to deal with anxiety in a long-distance relationship is by sharing your feelings with your partner and addressing them as soon as they arise.

In this article, we’ll look at anxiety as a state of fear and nervousness that affects your life and your long-distance relationship. Anxiety and also be a nervous disorder, which is beyond a spectrum of this article. If you are worried about having such a condition, it’s best to see your doctor.

What Is Anxiety and How Does It Affect Your Long-Distance Relationship?

Anxiety is defined as a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

In a long-distance relationship, there are many occasions where you feel nervous and unease about being away from your romantic partner.

The reason you start a romantic relationship is to be close to the person for whom you have feelings. When you find yourself in a relationship with someone you love, but separated by the distance and with the inability to touch them, it can quickly turn into a struggle.

Struggles come from unresolved problems. You can avoid many common problems of long-distance relationships by being aware of them. We have put together this article that covers common problems long-distance couples face and some ideas on how you can handle them.

Common Problems in a Long-Distance Relationship

You may find a way to deal with uneasiness in a long-distance relationship for a little while. However, when your long-distance relationship lasts a long time, the nervousness and anxiety can become chronic. When it happens, you may stop enjoying being in such a relationship.

When your long-distance relationship brings you more heartache and suffering than joy and fulfilment, it is time to address the issues or end your relationship.

Knowing how to handle the distance is essential for a healthy and successful long-distance relationship. Luckily, we have a step by step guide for you and your partner to get familiar with how the distance affects your relationship and address any issues that come from being physically apart.

Is It Normal to Have Anxiety in a Long-Distance Relationship?

Anxiety is quite common in long-distance relationships. But just because it’s common doesn’t make it healthy. Feelings of nervousness, uncertainty and insecurity are normal. Those are the feelings that every person experiences at some point in their life.

These feelings turn into chronic anxiety and become an issue when they predominate over other, more positive emotions. Another problem with chronic anxiety in a long-distance relationship is its negative impact on your life and your relationship.

Can Long-Distance Relationship Cause Anxiety? 

A long-distance relationship comes with a lot of uncertainties. You will always be uncertain about where your long-distance relationship is going unless you have a plan for moving in and living together.

Suppose you don’t have effective communication and understanding with your long-distance partner. In that case, it will be hard for you to judge the state of your relationship. 

When you are uncertain about whether or not your long-distance relationship is healthy, you might start having more and more doubts. Increasing doubts together with insecurities and the uncertainty about your long-distance relationship can manifest as a constant feeling of anxiety.

Check out this article about causes of doubts in long-distance relationships and how to handle them in a healthy way.

Doubts in a Long-Distance Relationship

Separation Anxiety in a Long-Distance Relationship

Separation anxiety is quite prominent in children who are separated from their parents for the first time. When it comes to long-distance relationships, separation anxiety can be felt every time you go back to your homes after visiting each other.

It can be hard to say goodbye yet another time while feeling helpless to do anything about it. At least this is the belief that most long-distance couples have. Couples believe that long-distance relationship is something inevitable that they have to do. But the truth is that a long-distance relationship is a choice.

You can be in love with each other. Still, if you cannot see a way to be together physically, your romantic relationship will quickly turn into hardship. Relationships are meant to be enjoyed. They suppose to bring fulfilment into your life and contribute to your general well-being.

When you are feeling anxious for most of your relationship, and even more so after your visits, this is not a sustainable way of having a relationship. Well, you may feel very much attached. But attachment is not the same as love.

On the other hand, you might be in love and happy in a long-distance relationship during your visits. You also may enjoy having your own time to yourself in-between visits. In this case, a long-distance relationship is a great way for you to stay connected with another person.

One thing that can really help dealing with separation anxiety is making a plan for your long-distance relationship. Make sure to include how often you will communicate, visit each other and when you will be able to move in together.

Making a plan correctly comes easy to some, while others struggle quite a bit. If you need some help, this step by step guide will make it breeze for you to come up with a solid plan that will give your relationship direction and will give you reassurance and grounding.

Depression and Anxiety in a Long-Distance Relationship

Some people experience depression and anxiety symptoms at the same time. Depression leaves you feeling sad, helpless, and hopeless. With anxiety, you feel nervous, afraid, and frustrated.

Combine these feelings, and your life becomes a misery. Depression and anxiety can be something that you have developed from your past experiences. In this case, it would help if you were to work it out before creating a relationship. Otherwise, you will carry your unresolved issues into your relationships. 

However, if it is a long-distance relationship that is causing you to feel this way, maybe it’s time to reconsider being in such a relationship.

Dealing with Anxiety in a Long-Distance Relationship

There are many ways to deal with anxiety in a long-distance relationship. First of all, you should know the source of your stress. A long-distance relationship comes with a lot of uncertainties. If you think that these uncertainties are the reason that you are feeling nervous and frustrated most of the time, making a plan can be a good start.

Having a plan and a timeline for a long-distance relationship will give you reassurance and guidance on where your long-distance relationship is going. When you know that your long-distance relationship is going to last a certain amount of time, you can prepare and plan for it.

If you would like to go through every aspect of your long-distance relationship and give it your best shot at working out, have a look at this article.

How to Make Your Long-Distance Relationship Work

If you are uncertain about your feelings and your connection with your long-distance partner, working on your communication skills can do wonders. It’s worth taking the time to learn how to communicate effectively with your long-distance partner so that you can maintain an emotional connection.

If you would like some help with improving communication in your long-distance relationship, consider this step by step guide.

Having a plan for your long-distance relationship will help you to set the dates for visiting each other. It will give you a chance to do something interesting in between your visits.

If you do, the above anxiety should be less of a problem if it is caused by the fact of being in a long-distance relationship. After your visit, you don’t need to be sad or anxious, because you know that you are going to see your friends or do something exciting with your life.

However, if you feel anxious every time you separate from your long-distance partner, maybe try to find a way to move in together sooner.

One thing that may help you deal with anxiety in your long-distance relationship is to develop understanding with your partner by improving your communication. If you are struggling and don’t know where to begin, check out this workbook that will give guidance and will help you and your partner to work on your relationship together.

How to Cope with Anxiety in a Long-Distance Relationship?

Long-distance brings a lot of uncertainty into your relationship. These uncertainties vary from confusion during your communication to doubts whether or not your relationship will survive the long-distance.

1. Maintain an emotional connection
2. Visit each other frequently and regularly
3. Try to understand what causes your anxiety
4. Discuss the reasons for your anxiety with your partner
5. Find a way forward that works for you and your partner

You can maintain emotional closeness through effective communication and physical intimacy by visiting each other regularly.

Frequent visits will give you a chance to talk about things that bother you face-to-face. On the other hand, if you don’t see each other often enough, different issues can accumulate and turn your relationship into a struggle.

Constant unprocessed doubts and worries can turn into anxiety. Is it something personal, or is it the fact of being away from your romantic partner for a long time?

When you are clear on the reasons for your anxiety, you can talk about your feelings with your long-distance partner.

Together, you can find a way to reassure you that things will work out and find the best way forward that works for both of you.

Being in a Long-Distance Relationship with a Partner Who Has Anxiety

When you are in the long-distance relationship with the person who has chronic anxiety, try to be patient and caring with them. Anxiety can be overwhelming and can override anything that makes sense or is reasonable to think or do.

If your long-distance partner has an anxiety episode, one thing you can do is be there for them. Take the time to listen without criticism judgement or impatience. On many occasions, just being present can mean the whole world to the person who is feeling anxious or depressed.

Anxiety in a New Long-Distance Relationship 

When you start a new long-distance relationship, you may feel excited and anxious at the same time. Getting to know someone in a long-distance relationship can be a fun way to learn about another person.

But the fact that you cannot see the person leaves a lot to your imagination. If you tend to have negative thoughts, doubts, and insecurities, not having real-time physical feedback can be frustrating and can leave you feeling even more nervous.

It helps when your partner is nearby to reassure you how they feel in response to what you are saying.

Conclusion

A long-distance relationship comes with a lot of uncertainties. If you are a generally nervous person, having a relationship with someone who you cannot see face to face, feel, or touch will be difficult.

When you are in a long-distance relationship, you spend a lot of time with yourself and with your thoughts. If you are a happy and positive person, you will be optimistic about your long-distance relationship.

If you tend to have negative thoughts, fears, doubts, and insecurities, being alone can prompt negative assumptions about your long-distance partner and your relationship.

When you find yourself anxious, or when your long-distance partner becomes nervous, the best thing you can do is talk about your thoughts and feelings to each other. The moment you discuss them out in the open, they will have less power over you.

If you are a right match with your partner and both of you can handle uncertainties there is no reason why you can’t make your long-distance relationship work.

If you are serious about giving this relationship your best, check out our complete step by step guide. It will help you identify and address any issues you may have in a healthy and loving way.

However, suppose chronic anxiety is part of your relationship, and you don’t know how to handle it. In that case, long-distance may not be the best kind of relationship for you. You may be better off remaining friends with your long-distance partner and find somebody else to be romantically involved with nearby.

How Healthy Is Your Long-Distance Relationship?

If you are having doubts about your long-distance relationship and are not sure if you should try to fix it or let it go, here is our step by step guide to help you and your partner reassess your relationship and make an educated decision that works for both of you.

Relationship Coaching for Long-Distance Couples

Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain without knowing exactly what they involve.

However, once you understand what long-distance relationships are, what they are not and how to navigate them, you are a lot more likely to make it work.

We specialise in helping long-distance couples create and maintain a healthy relationship by building intimacy, trust and effective communication.

If you are starting a long-distance relationship or are already in one, send us a message to book an individual coaching session for yourself or a couples coaching session for you and your partner.

Frequently Asked Questions