What to Talk About in a Long-Distance Relationship

In a long-distance relationship, sometimes you end up talking about the same things, and the conversations become boring.

To make your conversations more exciting and interesting you should talk about things that have some meaning.

Here are some ideas of what to talk about in a long-distance relationship that you can start applying in your life and your relationship:

  • Your history, your life story, what happened and when
  • Your present feelings and circumstances
  • Your future plans

When it comes to having a healthy long-distance relationship you should agree on a few things regarding the communication. You can set yourself a few boundaries to help you guide through your long-distance relationship. 

When it comes to communication you should agree on these three things:

  • How you talk
  • How often do you talk
  • What do you talk about

Let’s look at them in more detail…

How to Talk with your Partner in a Long-Distance Relationship?

In a long-distance relationship, it’s easy to get carried away and talk more while saying less. This is an attempt to feel closer to the person with whom you can’t be physically close. It’s a way to compensate for the lack of physical intimacy.

But if you’re not careful, you might end up spending too much time calling and texting. One reason it’s not a good idea to do that is that after a while, your conversations will become boring. Another reason is that you will spend less time with real-life around you.

While it’s okay to talk about every day things to catch up, you should be careful not to overdo it.

Having some boundaries can help you set the limits of how much you talk. To make your conversations more interesting, you can talk about your personal life, listen to what your partner wants to share or talk about your relationship.

Things to Talk About in a Long-Distance Relationship

There are many things you can talk about in a long-distance relationship. To keep your conversations interesting you can talk about things that are relevant to you and your relationship. 

Things to Talk About Before Long-Distance Relationship

If you are getting to know someone new in a long-distance relationship, you could talk about your history. You could share your life story, talk about where you came from, and tell each other different experiences you’ve come across in your life.

Sharing these things can help you understand each other better and also understand the reasons why you do what you do the way you do it.

If you are in a long-distance relationship with an existing partner, you probably already know quite a lot about each other. In that case, it might be more interesting for you to discuss your present feelings and circumstances. You could review your personal life goals while in a long-distance relationship.

You can also talk about your relationship and how the distance affects it. The more you can understand each other’s feelings and points of view regarding your long-distance relationship, the better your chances of making it work.

Things to Talk About When You Are in a Long-Distance Relationship

When you are starting a long-distance relationship with someone new or having to do long-distance with your current partner, you should have an idea about your plans. Being in a romantic relationship means you are expecting physical intimacy.

If you are in an exclusive relationship that is long-distance, you won’t get as much physical closeness as you should have with your romantic partner.

Having a timeline and a plan for your long-distance relationship will help you feel reassured that you are in control of the direction of your relationship. You can set short-term goals like how often you are going to visit each other as well as a long-term goal of moving in together.

How to Talk About Starting a Long-Distance Relationship?

Before starting a long-distance relationship, you should consider if this relationship is right for you. Romantic long-distance relationships work for a little while, but they don’t work long term.

Once you understand the advantages and disadvantages of having a long-distance relationship, you can decide whether or not it can work for you.

If you decide that starting a long-distance relationship could be fun, you can find someone via online dating. It may also be the case where you have just met someone while on holidays or maybe you have a friend that you would like to have a long-distance relationship with.

If you already know the person that you are considering having a romantic relationship with, you should tell them how you feel. If you don’t express how you feel you’re guaranteed not having a romantic relationship.

If you express your feelings, another person might share them, or they may not. If they don’t have romantic feelings for you or they’re not interested in having a romantic long-distance relationship, they will tell you so.

It may also happen that this person likes you, and they’re happy to start a long-distance relationship with you. In this case, you should give it a go. 

When you’re starting a long-distance relationship, you should talk about your feelings and circumstances. Even if you share the same feelings, you may not have the means to visit each other or to move in together in a few months. In this case, you might be better off keeping in touch as friends and exploring your connection without getting romantically involved.

However, if you have mutual feelings towards each other and you think you can make your long-distance relationship work then you should talk about a couple of things:

  • How and how often you will communicate
  • How often you will visit each other
  • Who will visit who
  • The possibility to move in together in the near future. 

There are a few more things to consider before starting the long-distance relationship. The article on starting a long-distance relationship will help you decide if it’s for you.

Interesting Things to Talk About in a Long-Distance Relationship

When you are in a long-distance relationship, you may find yourself talking to each other on the phone and texting each other more and more as time goes by. If you spend too much time talking, your conversations can get boring because you will not have anything new or interesting to talk about.

If you find yourself in this situation where you have nothing to talk about, consider reducing the amount of time and frequency of your conversations. Doing so will give you a chance to live your real-life, then you will have something to tell your partner.

You can only talk about interesting things if something interesting happens in your life. If you spend too much time talking to each other, you don’t give a chance for interesting things to happen. So you will not have anything interesting to talk about, it’s that simple.

There are different ways you can have interesting conversations. For example, you can do an online relationship quiz. You could play online games together, so you talk about them as well as sharing something interesting in common. Couple’s journals can also spice things up and give you something interesting to talk about. These journals have different questions and various topics you could talk about.

Important Things to Talk About in a Long-Distance Relationship 

While there’s nothing wrong with having a chat and a catch-up, it’s important to talk about meaningful things when you are in a long-distance relationship.

Important things to talk about in a long-distance relationship are:

  • Your life
  • Your feelings
  • Your circumstances
  • Your personal goals
  • Your relationship goals

It’s a good idea to have a timeline for your long-distance relationship, specific goals, and a plan. Having these things will help you navigate your long-distance relationship and reassure you that you are on the right track.

Feelings change every day, so it can be interesting and important to share them with each other. To have a healthy relationship you need to have effective communication. To have effective communication you should learn how to express yourself in a way that your partner understands you. You also need to be able to listen to what your partner is saying and be able to understand them.

It’s also important to have certain boundaries when it comes to talking during your long-distance relationship. You can agree on:

  • When is the best time for you to talk.
  • How long how conversations should last.
  • What are your preferred means of communication.

Having this agreement will help you remain focused while talking about important things in your long-distance relationship.

To maintain a healthy long-distance relationship, it’s essential to have fun as well as talk about things that touch you deeply. If you would like some help expressing yourself and sharing your thoughts and feelings, this workbook will help you out a lot. It’ll also give you conversation ideas to grow your relationship and stay emotionally connected:

Improve communication in your long-distance relationship - WORKBOOK

Fun Things to Talk About in a Long-Distance Relationship

While long-distance relationships can be hard, they don’t necessarily have to be hard work. To keep your long-distance relationship exciting you should find the time and space to have some dirty talking. You could also plan romantic trips together when you arrange to meet up.

If you don’t have fun in your long-distance relationship it can quickly become a chore.

And since you can’t do physical things together there is a risk of allowing the distance to come between you. If you are in a long-distance relationship for a long time there is a chance that at some point you will start growing apart.

Keeping your long-distance relationship fun and exciting is the best way to make the most of it and to make it work while you are away from each other.

Topics to Talk About in a Long-Distance Relationship

There are many topics you can talk about in a long-distance relationship. These topics range from something general to something deep and more personal. Here is the list of some topics you could talk about in long-distance relationship:

  • Things that happened in your life since the last time you spoke with each other.
  • You can talk about your personal goals and your journey towards achieving them.
  • It’s good to talk about your long-distance relationship.
  • You should talk about your feelings about having a long-distance relationship, to see if they have changed since the last time you spoke.

How Often Should You Talk in a Long-Distance Relationship?

One of the common problems couples face in a long-distance relationship is talking too much or too often. The more you talk the less you will have to say. You still might find something to say, but it won’t be as meaningful most of the time.

Many couples like to talk every day like they would in a regular relationship. You can do that in a long-distance relationship as well. But you can try to keep it to the point, so it doesn’t become boring.

When you are in a long-distance relationship, you have a chance to catch up on your personal life goals and spend time on your interests and hobbies.

It’s hard to generalise how often should couples talk in a long-distance relationship. It’s more important that you agree with your partner on the frequency of your conversations. Usually, one person would want to talk more than the other. The key is to find a middle ground without having to compromise much.

Sometimes a partner can become a little bit needy and would want to talk more and more, forgetting about their personal life. This is unhealthy for a long-distance relationship. If this happens you should talk to each other about it and find a balance between your personal life and your long-distance relationship as a couple.

How Often Is Normal to Talk in a Long-Distance Relationship?

The more you talk in the long-distance relationship, the less meaning is in your conversations. Try to find a healthy balance between engaging with your personal life and spending time talking about it with your long-distance relationship partner.

When you talk too much, your conversations can become boring. But also, if you talk too little there is a chance you might start feeling disconnected. Either of these can put a strain on your long-distance relationship and on your feelings. 

If you want to have a healthy long-distance relationship you should frequently talk about this particular topic. It may sound strange but you should find time to talk about talking. In a long-distance relationship, it can be harder to fix problems. Once something goes wrong, it can become an issue in a very short space of time.

That’s why it’s important that you regularly talk about your feelings and the state of your relationship. If something changes, you should share it with your partner right away.

What Do You Do When Your Long-Distance Relationship Gets Boring?

If you talk too much or too often you may find that you are running out of things to talk about. If you are on the phone with your long-distance partner and you find yourself not having anything to talk about you have two options:

  1. Reduce how much you talk or how often you talk.
  2. Spice up your interactions by playing games, doing online quizzes together, or use the couple’s journal to talk about your relationship.

How much Should You Talk in a Long-Distance Relationship?

Talking too much or too little in the long-distance relationship can be a perception of one partner. While there is a healthy amount for each couple, one partner may feel that they would like to talk more. At the same time, another partner can feel that they are talking too much.

To fix this issue, you should talk about the reasons why each of you feels the way you do.

Usually, if you feel that you’re not talking enough, it could mean that you need to feel more connected. It may also be a sign that there are things you would like to express and there isn’t enough communication for you to do that in your long-distance relationship.

If on the other hand, you feel that you’re talking too much, it can be a sign that you would like more personal space to do the things that you would like to do or need to do.

You and your partner need to agree on how much time you need for talking so that you can express everything that’s on your mind without talking too much and having boring conversations.


Talking too much or too little is a common problem in a long-distance relationship. While the amount of time you should talk is subjective and varies from couple to couple, there is is a healthy amount of time that you should spend talking with your long-distance relationship partner.

The exact amount of time and the frequency of your communication is something you need to agree on with your long-distance partner. A healthy amount of time is the one that allows you to talk to each other enough to express yourself and feel connected. And at the same time, making sure that you don’t talk too much so that you avoid having boring conversations and wasting time that you could otherwise spend on doing something interesting with your life.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do you need to talk every day in a long-distance relationship?

To feel the connection, a lot of couples in a long-distance relationship have a strong need to talk every day. And as long as it works for both of you, great. You may begin to notice problems when one of you wants to talk more often, while another needs to get on with their life. So next time you talk to your partner, check how they feel about your frequency of communication and if they prefer to talk more, or less.

What do you talk about before a long-distance relationship?

Before you start a long-distance relationship you should talk about how long it will last, how often you can visit each other, and when you can move in together.

What do you talk about in a long-distance relationship?

You can talk about your personal goals and objectives and you can also talk about your long-distance relationship.

What should I talk about on the phone in a long-distance relationship?

It’s easy to get carried away talking on the phone too much. While it’s perfectly fine to catch up on the phone, you should have more serious conversations via video calls.

What questions do you ask in a long-distance relationship?

You can ask personal questions, fun questions, interesting questions, or deep and important questions.

How much should you talk about in a long-distance relationship?

The exact amount of time varies from couple to couple. You should talk as much as you and your partner feel happy with.


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