Are you feeling the absence? And, wondering how to cope with missing someone in a long-distance relationship?
When it comes to coping with the longing that accompanies a long-distance relationship, there are practical steps you can take. First, maintain open and frequent communication with your partner to bridge the physical gap and stay emotionally connected. Plan visits and set specific dates to have something to look forward to. Engage in self-care and pursue personal hobbies to keep yourself fulfilled. Express your feelings through heartfelt letters or creative outlets. Additionally, share virtual experiences, such as watching movies or exploring activities together.
Let’s explore these strategies in more detail and see what you can do to help you cope with your long-distance relationship.
1. Express Yourself
Most people find it helpful to express their true selves through writing. Here are a few ideas, but feel free to get creative.
- Write down your emotions and experiences and share them with your partner in the end of the day.
- Share personal stories, deep reflections, or simply exchange heartfelt messages. Through writing, you can truly connect on a profound level.
- Encourage each other to embrace individuality and express yourselves authentically. Share your passions, dreams, and perspectives. Celebrate the qualities that make each of you special.
- Take time to reminisce about the beautiful moments you’ve shared in the past throughout your long-distance relationship. Recall fond memories, inside jokes, and milestones.
Create a safe space where you can exchange opinions and share feedback without the fear of being judged. Be mindful of how each of you feels comfortable expressing yourselves. For example, you may like to share your thoughts on the phone, while your partner may prefer to write down their idea before sharing it.
The best advice, in this case, would be to learn each other’s preferences and support your individual ways of self-expression.
2. Embrace Self-Care
Self-care and self-expression are vital for long-distance couples to maintain their relationship. Encouraging each other to pursue personal hobbies and interests allows you and your partner to spend time on your individual growth and passions.
Whether it’s taking a peaceful walk in nature, exploring a new hobby, or dedicating a moment to relax and unwind, these activities provide a much-needed break from being busy with your long-distance relationship, work and other things.
For example, whenever you feel overwhelmed by any external factor that is out of your control, go for a little walk. Sometimes it’s good to forget everything and reconnect with yourself. It can give you a different point of view, so you can approach your partner and your long-distance relationship in a healthy and constructive way.
3. Set Relationship Goals
When you miss your partner, collaborating on shared goals and dreams can be a practical yet fulfilling experience you can share together.
Don’t fall into the trap of so many long-distance couples who tend to overlook this phenomenal activity and instead miss each other and struggle with the limitations. Identifying common aspirations, such as career milestones, travel plans, or even building a life in the same city, creates a sense of togetherness and purpose.
This collaborative approach allows you to stay motivated and focused, even when you’re busy with your individual lives. It also reinforces the idea that separation is temporary and that you can fill your world with hope and shared achievements until you can be together.
4. Plan Visits
In long-distance relationships, planning visits and establishing goals together play a crucial role in maintaining the connection between the people involved. When partners miss each other, any activity that brings them together is a worthwhile endeavour.
Talking about your next visit or discussing a plan for being together, at least to the same city, creates anticipation and gives you hope that it will work out in the end.
When partners miss each other like crazy, clear goals and solid plans give long-distance relationships some certainty, hope and direction.
5. Stay Emotionally Connected
While most people struggle to feel connected in long-distance relationships, unlike other relationships, being apart for a short while can have many benefits. The obvious advantage of this type of romantic relationship is that it can be great for getting to know someone online, regardless of where they are in the world. Long-distance relationships can also work to maintain an existing relationship if one person has to be away.
Now, the other huge advantage of long-distance relationships is the extra time and space each partner has to focus on their own life. So, while being apart is viewed as a bad thing, it allows long-distance couples the opportunity to focus on the other things that matter to them individually like personal growth, spending time with friends and family, etc.
This positive energy can then be brought into the relationship where partners who miss each other can spend time enjoying each other’s company. Replacing negative feelings with positive energy is the first step towards a strong and healthy relationship that can withstand the test of distance.
You started a romantic relationship because you wanted to be intimate with another person. You wanted to have them next to you, to enjoy their company, and share intimate moments with them. In our article on how to stay emotionally connected in a long-distance relationship, we get into this topic in a lot more detail.
When you are in a long-distance relationship, you might be away from your partner for weeks or months at a time. Being separated from the person you love can leave you feeling sad and lonely. Looking at each other through the screen instead of having warm hugs and wishing to be together, while knowing that you can’t is extremely frustrating.
When you miss your partner, it’s a matter of time before you get distructed and become busy with other things, but after a while, negative thoughts and emotions accumulate and you may feel overwhelmed. If your long-distance relationship lasts a long time, you may start feeling unfulfilled, which can bring a lot of suffering into your long-distance relationship.
At this point, you should assess if you are in a healthy relationship or a toxic one. To help you get started, check our step-by-step guide that will help you review your long-distance relationship to see how healthy it really is.
If you are still struggling to maintain an emotional connection with your long-distance partner and don’t know what else to do, consider a coaching session with a relationship coach who specialises in long-distance relationships.
6. Keep the Spark Alive
A romantic relationship implies having physical intimacy. If you started a long-distance relationship online, you could easily spend a couple of months getting to know each other. But if your relationship becomes serious, you need to find a way to visit each other regularly and set a date for moving in together.
A long-distance relationship, without a plan, a timeline and an end date, isn’t going to work. You can make it last for a long time, but all that will do is bring you sexual frustration, depression and anxiety.
You can maintain sexual intimacy online. It’s not the same as sharing warm hugs with your partner, but it will bring you a certain degree of satisfaction for the times when you feel horny and alone. When you’re away from your romantic partner, you can do things like sexting, play naughty games online, and have virtual sex. If you don’t have an idea of where to begin we have you covered with our article about keeping your long-distance relationship alive.
When you love someone, you may be willing to make sacrifices in the name of staying together. For example, if you miss being together and really need sexual intimacy, you may choose to put up with your sexual frustration. The problem with making sacrifices is that negative feelings build up inside of you and silently influence your behaviour.
For example, you miss your partner’s touch and have a strong urge to be together. Yet, you can still suppress your sexual desires. But after a while, they will lead to sexual frustration. This frustration will then put extra strain on your already challenging relationship. Persistent sadness and frustration can lead to anxiety and depression. Once you find yourself depressed and anxious, it can be a long way out of that state.
While compromises are part of long-distance or any other relationships, only resort to them when you are fully aware of what exactly you are compromising and how it will leave you feeling.
There are two things you can do to manage your LDR sexually. One way is to spice up your relationship and make it more fun and exciting. Another way is by visiting each other regularly and making the most of your time together.
Let’s look at each of these options and if you will decide to take a more hands-on approach, take a look at our step-by-step guide for some creative and fun ideas on how to spice up your long-distance relationship.
7. Share Experiences through Virtual Dates and Activities
Experience togetherness through virtual dates and activities, keeping the flame of your love alive. Immerse yourselves in the joy of virtual dates and activities that allow you to express your true selves.
- Set up virtual movie nights or binge-watch your favourite shows together. Sync up your screens and enjoy the shared experience of laughter, tears, and conversation.
- Involve your and your partner’s family in virtual gatherings or activities. Share meals, celebrate special occasions, or engage in fun games together.
- Explore innovative ways to connect virtually. Exchange ideas for DIY projects, home-cooked meals, or virtual tours of interesting places. Embrace creativity to bring new and exciting experiences to your relationship.
- Engage in shared activities online. Exercise together through virtual workout sessions or take up a new hobby. By experiencing these activities together, you’ll feel closer and enjoy a sense of companionship.
- Discuss your dreams and plans for a future in the same city. Brainstorm how you can make it happen, whether it’s exploring career opportunities, searching for potential living arrangements, or envisioning your life together.
Virtual dates and activities provide opportunities to bond, create lasting memories, and strengthen your connection. Embrace the power of technology to bridge the geographical gap and make your relationship thrive.
For more ideas, check out our article about many online activities you can do in a long-distance relationship.
8. Be Understanding and Supportive
Both, you and your partner can use the time apart to pursue your own life goals and ambitions unless you are in a clingy relationship where you spend most of your time talking to your partner.
Having a busy girlfriend or boyfriend is a sign that you are in a healthy long-distance relationship. However, if your long-distance partner is spending less and less time talking to you or engaging in meaningful conversations, it could be a sign that you are drifting apart or your partner is losing interest in you or your relationship. Meanwhile, check out some tips on how you can improve communication in your relationship.
You may find that your partner doesn’t spend time with you anymore, at least not as much as they used to. It could mean one of two things: either you aren’t spending enough time because you are busy yourself, or your partner is losing interest in this relationship. The latter can be because they are no longer willing to be apart or there could be a change in the chemistry between the two of you. You can’t know for sure which one it is until you talk about it with your partner.
Talking about your overall situation can help you determine if there’s still a chance for you to make your long-distance relationship work. Unless you can see each other in real, video chat is the next best thing as you can still see each other’s faces and body language. Make sure to allocate at least a few hours to this conversation.
Talk to your long-distance partner about your doubts and concerns. Make sure to listen to what they say. Once you have all the facts, provided you are honest with each other, you will be in a better position to identify the core problem of your issues. When you know the nature of your problem, you will know how best to cope with the challenges of your long-distance relationship.
If you are struggling with intimacy issues in your long-distance relationship, use our step-by-step guide to help you and your partner address them quickly and effectively.
9. Do Things That Bring You Joy
Being in a long-distance relationship means you will have to spend most of your time apart away from your partner. But it doesn’t mean that you have to be alone or feel lonely.
Being alone isn’t a bad thing. A bit of solitude helps you reflect on your own life, goals, and ambitions. If you do feel lonely, you can always hang around with friends or family.
Suppose you see loneliness as a burden and suffering. In that case, it will be tough to cope with it in a long-distance relationship. So the best thing you can do is to change your mindset.
Instead of seeing this moment of loneliness as a burden, you can see it as an opportunity to do something you enjoy and hang out with people you like.
Keeping busy doing things you love will bring joy and positive energy into your life and at the same time you will have a lot more exciting things to talk about with your partner.
10. Address Jealousy
Jealousy is the envy of somebody else’s fortunes or advantages. In a long-distance relationship, you may feel jealous of your partner’s friends.
If you feel disadvantaged because you can’t spend time with your partner, you may feel jealous of people who can. Hence, recognising that you feel jealous is the first step to understanding the reasons for it and the best advice for addressing them before they become a problem in your relationship.
How you cope with jealousy has a direct impact on the mental health side of your long-distance relationship. Your first impulse might be to restrict your partner from seeing their friends. Such controlling behaviour will make your partner want to avoid sharing things with you.
This can create an emotional distance in your relationship. And, at some point, you may start drifting apart.
A better way to cope with jealousy in your long-distance relationship is to be happy for your long-distance partner instead of being controlling.
Another thing you can do to stay busy is to spend time with your friends, so you don’t feel alone.
Learn more about jealousy in a long-distance relationship, so you can handle it properly.
11. Address Anxiety and Sexual Frustration
Long-distance brings a lot of uncertainty into your relationship. These uncertainties vary from confusion during your communication to doubts about whether or not your relationship will survive the long distance.
In a long-distance relationship that lasts a few months, you can maintain an emotional connection through effective communication and physical intimacy by visiting each other regularly. However, trying to make your long-distance relationship work for longer than a few months can leave you sexually frustrated due to the lack of physical intimacy.
Frequent visits will give you a chance to talk about things that bother you face-to-face. On the other hand, if you don’t see each other often enough, different issues can accumulate and turn your relationship into a struggle.
Constant unprocessed doubts and worries can turn into anxiety. If you find yourself feeling anxious while in a long-distance relationship, try to understand what causes your anxiety. Is it something personal, or is it the fact of being away from your romantic partner for a long time?
Once you know the reasons for your anxiety, you can talk about it with your long-distance partner. Together, you can find a way to reassure yourself that things will work out and find the best way forward that works for both of you.
Learn more about anxiety in long-distance relationships, so you know how to handle it in a healthy way.
The best way to cope with negative feelings in a long-distance relationship is to talk about them with your partner. Take time to hear your partner’s point of view as well as their thoughts, ideas and concerns.
As long as you and your partner are ready to hear each other out and make an effort to resolve the issues, coping with a long-distance relationship won’t be a problem.
If you find yourself “coping” with a long-distance relationship, it suggests that there’s a struggle, that something isn’t working. Consider taking some time to reassess your relationship and address any underlying issues you may have. In a healthy relationship, you should be enjoying it rather than finding a way to cope.
When your long-distance relationship isn’t working, it can quickly become a struggle and bring you a lot of suffering instead of joy. Coping emotionally with a long-distance relationship can be very challenging, but here is a practical strategy you can do today to make your long-distance relationship just a little better:
- Figure out what isn’t working for you in this relationship.
- Talk with your partner about your relationship and address any feelings, doubts or concerns you might have.
- Take time to hear out your partner’s s point of view.
- Together, come up with different ways to overcome the challenges.
- It’s easier to find solutions that work for both of you when you and your partner are on the same team.
Our complete guide on how to make your long-distance relationship work will take you through every aspect of a long-distance relationship step-by-step.
Frequently Asked Questions about Missing Someone in a Long-Distance Relationship
How to cope with missing someone in a long-distance relationship?
Coping with missing someone in an LDR can be challenging, but there are strategies to help you navigate this situation. One thing you can do when you miss your partner is to stay connected through regular communication using methods like video chat and phone calls. Plan visits to spend time together and create cherished memories. Engage in self-care activities that promote your well-being and mental health. Focus on maintaining a positive mindset and nurturing the emotional bond with your partner.
Is it normal to miss someone in a long-distance relationship?
Yes, it is entirely normal to experience feelings of longing and miss someone in a long-distance relationship. Being apart can evoke emotions of sadness and loneliness. However, it’s essential to remember that thinking about your partner is a testament to the strong connection and love you share. Acknowledging these sentiments can help you navigate the challenges of a long-distance relationship with understanding and empathy.
Should I tell my long-distance boyfriend I miss him?
Absolutely! Open and honest communication is vital in any relationship, including long-distance ones. Sharing how you are feeling and letting your long-distance boyfriend know that you miss him can strengthen the emotional connection between both of you. It reassures your partner of your love and commitment, and it can also make him feel valued and appreciated.
Do feelings fade in a long-distance relationship?
While being apart presents its challenges, feelings in a long-distance relationship don’t automatically fade away. It’s important to nurture the emotional bond and maintain regular communication to keep the flame of love burning. By staying connected through video chats, text messages, and other forms of communication, you can actively work together to keep the relationship strong and prevent feelings from fading.
Does distance make a man miss you?
Yes, distance can evoke a sense of longing for true intimacy and make a man miss you in a long-distance relationship. The physical separation often intensifies the desire to be together and strengthens emotional attachment. Regular communication, heartfelt gestures, and sharing experiences can help you feel connected.
What are the signs of someone missing you?
Signs that someone may be missing you in a long-distance relationship can include increased communication efforts, such as frequent text messages and phone calls. They may express their longing and sadness about being apart, showing a desire to bridge the gap and plan future visits. Other signs include being attentive, affectionate, and displaying a genuine interest in your life.
How to make him realise he’s losing you in a long-distance relationship?
If you feel your long-distance relationship is at risk and want to make him realise he’s losing you, it’s crucial to talk about your concerns openly and honestly. Express the impact of being apart on your emotional well-being and the importance of feeling valued and connected. Encourage a dialogue to work together on finding solutions and rekindling the relationship. Focus on maintaining a sense of emotional intimacy and actively demonstrate your love and commitment to the relationship.
What can I say instead of “I miss you”?
Instead of directly saying “I miss you,” you can express your feelings in various ways. For example:
“I can’t wait to be in your arms again.”
“Thinking of you brings so much joy to my heart.”
“You’re always on my mind and in my thoughts.”
“The distance only makes my love for you grow stronger.”
“I long for the day we can reunite and be together again.”
Why does it hurt when I miss him?
The pain of missing someone in an LDR stems from the emotional bond you share and the miles that are between you. When you miss your partner, it reminds you of their absence and the longing to be together, which can lead to feelings of sadness, loneliness, and yearning. It’s natural to feel this way when you deeply care for someone but are unable to have them physically present in your daily life.