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A long-distance relationship can be challenging. To make it work, it would help if you know how to cope with a long-distance relationship and the different aspects of being away from your partner.
Here is what you can do to help you cope with your long-distance relationship:
- Stay emotionally connected
- Keep your relationship hot and spicy
- Be understanding
- Do things that bring you joy
- Recognise if you are feeling jealous
- Address any anxiety you may be experiencing
Let’s explore each on them more closely…
Stay Emotionally Connected
Long-distance relationships have a lot of benefits. They can be great for getting to know someone online or to maintain an existing relationship if one of you has to be away.
But when your long-distance relationship isn’t working, it can quickly become a struggle and bring you a lot of suffering instead of joy. Coping emotionally with a long-distance relationship can be very challenging.
- Figure out what isn’t working for you in your long-distance relationship.
- Talk about your feelings, doubts, and concerns with your partner.
- Take time to hear out your partner’s s point of view.
- Together come up with different ways to solve this problem.
- It’s easier to find solutions that work for both of you when you and your partner are on the same team.
You started a romantic relationship because you wanted to be intimate with another person. You wanted to have them next to you, to enjoy their company, and share intimate moments with them.
When you are in a long-distance relationship, you might be away from your partner for weeks or months at a time. Suppose you don’t find a way to enjoy the benefits of a long-distance relationship. In that case, you will feel sad and lonely, missing your partner, wishing to be together, while knowing that you can’t.
When this lasts for a couple of months, and you can regularly see each other, it can be easy to get busy with other things. However, if your long-distance relationship lasts a long time, feelings of unfulfilment will bring you a lot of suffering. At this point, you should reassess if such a relationship is at all worth it.
If you are struggling to maintain emotional connection with your long-distance partner, click here for some guidance.
Keep Your Relationship Hot and Spicy
A romantic relationship implies having physical intimacy. If you started a long-distance relationship online, you could easily spend a couple of months getting to know each other. But if your relationship becomes serious, you need to find a way to visit each other regularly and set a date for moving in together.
A long-distance relationship, without a plan, a timeline and end date, isn’t going to work. You can make it last for a long time, but all that will do is bring you sexual frustration, depression and anxiety.
You can maintain sexual intimacy online. It’s not going to be the same as being with your partner, but it will bring you a certain degree of satisfaction for the times when you feel horny and alone. When you’re away from your romantic partner, you can do things like sexting, play naughty games online, and have virtual sex. For more ideas, take a look at this article.
When you love someone, you may be willing to make sacrifices in the name of staying together. For example, if you really need sexual intimacy, you may choose to put up with your sexual frustration. The problem with making sacrifices is that negative feelings build up inside of you and silently influence your behaviour.
For example, you can suppress your sexual desires. But after a while, they will lead to sexual frustration. Then, frustration will affect other aspects of your life and your relationship. Persistent feelings of sadness and frustration can lead to anxiety and depression. Once you find yourself depressed and anxious, it can be a long way out of that state.
So, there are times for compromises, but only if you are aware of the consequences and can cope with them.
There are two things you can do to manage your LDR sexually. One way is to spice up your relationship and make it more fun and exciting. Another way is by visiting each other regularly and making the most of your time together.
Here are the two workbooks that will help you to address each of these areas:
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Be Understanding
Both, you and your partner can use the time apart to pursue your own life goals and ambitions, unless you are in a clingy relationship where you spend most of your time talking to your partner.
Having a busy girlfriend or boyfriend is a sign that you are in a healthy long-distance relationship. However, if your long-distance partner is spending less and less time talking to you or engaging in meaningful conversations, it could be a sign that you are drifting apart or your partner is losing interest in you or your relationship. Click here to get some tips on how you can improve communication in your relationship.
Suppose you find yourself missing your partner because they are busy. It could mean that either you aren’t spending enough time being busy yourself, or your partner isn’t spending enough time on your relationship. You can’t know for sure which one it is until you talk to your partner about it.
Talk to your long-distance partner about your feelings and concerns. Tell them how you feel and listen to what they have to say. Once you get all the facts on the table, provided you are honest with each other, things will get clear. When you know the nature of your problem, or realise that there isn’t a problem, you will know the best way to cope with your feelings and your situation.
If you are struggling with intimacy issues in your long-distance relationship, use our step by step guide to help you and your partner address them quickly and effectively.
Do Things that Bring You Joy
Being in a long-distance relationship means you will have to spend most of your time apart away from your partner. But it doesn’t mean that you have to be alone or feel lonely.
Being alone isn’t a bad thing. A bit of solitude helps you reflect on your own life, goals, and ambitions. If you do feel lonely, you can always hang around with friends or family.
Suppose you see loneliness as a burden and suffering. In that case, it will be tough to cope with it in a long-distance relationship. So the best thing you can do is to change your mindset.
Instead of seeing loneliness as a burden, you can see it as an opportunity to do something you enjoy with people you like.
Keeping busy doing things you love will bring joy into your life and at the same time you will have a lot more exciting things to talk about with your partner.
Recognise if You Are Feeling Jealous
Jealousy is the envy of somebody else’s fortunes or advantages. In a long-distance relationship, you may feel jealous of your partner’s friends.
If you feel disadvantaged because you can’t spend enough time with your partner, you may feel jealous of people who can. Hence, recognising that you feel jealous is the first step to understand the reasons for it and address them before they become a problem in your relationship.
How you cope with jealousy has a direct impact on the health of your long-distance relationship. Your first impulse might be to restrict your partner from seeing their friends. Such controlling behaviour will make your partner wanting to avoid sharing things with you.
If this continues, there will be an emotional distance in your relationship as well as the physical one. After some time, you may drift apart.
A better way to cope with jealousy in your long-distance relationship is to be happy for your long-distance partner instead of being controlling.
Another thing you can do is to spend some time with your friends, so you don’t feel alone.
You can learn more about jealousy in a long-distance relationship by clicking here.
Address any Anxiety You May Be Experiencing
Long-distance brings a lot of uncertainty into your relationship. These uncertainties vary from confusion during your communication to doubts whether or not your relationship will survive the long-distance.
Suppose you are in a long-distance relationship for a few months. In that case, you can maintain an emotional connection through effective communication and physical intimacy by visiting each other regularly.
Frequent visits will give you a chance to talk about things that bother you face-to-face. On the other hand, if you don’t see each other often enough, different issues can accumulate and turn your relationship into a struggle.
Constant unprocessed doubts and worries can turn into anxiety. If you find yourself feeling anxious while in a long-distance relationship, try to understand what causes your anxiety. Is it something personal, or is it the fact of being away from your romantic partner for a long time?
When you are clear on the reasons for your anxiety, you can talk about your feelings and those with your long-distance partner. Together, you can find a way to reassure you that things will work out and find the best way forward that works for both of you.
Click here to learn more about anxiety in long-distance relationships.
Conclusion
Long-distance brings a lot of uncertainties into your relationship. Unprocessed doubts and worries can turn into anxiety and depression.
The best way to cope with negative feelings in a long-distance relationship is to express them to your partner. Also, take time to hear out your partner’s thoughts and concerns.
As long as you and your partner are ready to hear each other out and make an effort to resolve the issues, coping with a long-distance relationship won’t be a problem.
However, suppose you are trying to cope with a long-distance relationship. In that case, that’s enough of a reason for you to take some time and reassess your relationship. If you are in a healthy relationship, you’d be enjoying it rather than finding a way to cope with it.
If you’re coping with a long-distance relationship, it means something isn’t working. Try to find what isn’t working and together with your partner agree on the best way forward that works for both of you.
Here is our complete guide on how you can make your long-distance relationship work.
When you’re trying to make a long-distance relationship work, you should know how to cope with different problems. In this article we talk about different ways to cope with common problems in a long-distance relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I cope with a long-distance relationship?
For you to cope with the long-distance relationship, you should understand why your relationship brings you suffering instead of joy. When you know what’s not working, you can share it with your long-distance partner and together find a solution to these problems.
How do couples cope with long-distance relationships?
Couples cope with long-distance relationships in different ways. Some suppress their negative emotions and try to make the long-distance relationship lasts as long as they can. Others try to work out their problems and attempt to have a healthy and successful long-distance relationship.
How to cope with being in a long-distance relationship?
When you are in the long-distance relationship, you should aim to enjoy it rather than trying to cope with it. Coping implies a struggle. A relationship should contribute to your well-being and happiness and not make it hard for you to be with someone else. That’s why long-distance relationships shouldn’t last for too long.
What if I can’t cope with a long-distance relationship?
If you can’t cope with a long-distance relationship, sometimes it’s better to end it. When you are in love with someone who lives far away, you can try to make your long-distance relationship work for a short while. Effective communication and regular visits will help you to do so. However, being away from your romantic partner for a long time can bring your suffering instead of joy. If that is the case, it can be better for everyone to end your relationship and find a romantic partner with whom you can be together.
How Healthy Is Your Long-Distance Relationship?
If you are having doubts about your long-distance relationship and are not sure if you should try to fix it or let it go, here is our step by step guide to help you and your partner reassess your relationship and make an educated decision that works for both of you.
Relationship Coaching for Long-Distance Couples
Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain without knowing exactly what they involve.
However, once you understand what long-distance relationships are, what they are not and how to navigate them, you are a lot more likely to make it work.
We specialise in helping long-distance couples create and maintain a healthy relationship by building intimacy, trust and effective communication.
If you are starting a long-distance relationship or are already in one, send us a message to book an individual coaching session for yourself or a couples coaching session for you and your partner.
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Coaching Session – 60 minutes$120.00
