When it comes to dealing with loneliness in a long-distance relationship you have two options. First, think about your relationship and all the things you can talk about and do together. Second, spend more time focusing on other aspects of your life, outside your relationship. Here are the steps you can take to achieve this:
- Recognise your feelings
- Be aware of your circumstances
- Embrace the solitude
- Keep your relationship from getting boring
- Explore life outside of your relationship
- Use gadgets to keep things interesting
- Get professional help to deal with overwhelming emotions
Let’s take a closer look at each of these steps…
1. Recognise Your Feelings
Understanding how you feel about being in a long-distance relationship will help you plan what you need to do to make it better.
Long-distance relationships are romantic, so you expect physical intimacy. However, couples who live far away from each other can only be physically close during their visits. Some couples have the luxury of visiting each other every week, which can work very well for them. However, many couples go for weeks and sometimes months without seeing each other.
The problem with having a long-distance relationship for a long time is twofold. On one hand, you are not getting any physical intimacy from the person you are in a relationship with. On the other hand, by being in a relationship, you’re closed to the possibility of being with someone else.
Having a long-distance relationship means that sometimes you will miss your long-distance partner instead of enjoying their company. If you find yourself feeling lonely, it’s good to have a plan and a timeline that can reassure you that your long-distance relationship has a direction.
When you have something to look forward to, you can stop worrying about your relationship, enjoy your own company, or do things with your friends or family.
Try the following to help you get started:
- Make a list of feelings, thoughts, doubts, and ideas you have regarding your long-distance relationship.
- Share what you discovered with your long-distance partner.
- Try to hear your partner out and understand their point of view on your relationship and any particular challenges.
- See what your partner has to say and do your best to understand them, without thinking about your struggles at that time.
If you want to get going with the hands-on approach, check out our workbook for you and your partner to start planning your relationship.
2. Be Aware of Your Circumstances
When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you will have a lot of time by yourself with your thoughts. If you are a positive person, you will probably be quite happy by yourself.
Long-distance relationships have many uncertainties that can lead to doubts if you are prone to doubt and insecurities. Being alone while in a long-distance relationship can be a daunting and depressing experience.
Enjoying your long-distance relationship is possible. You start by changing your mindset. It’s hard to see the benefits of a long-distance relationship until you stop focusing on the negative aspects of being physically separated.
Start making the most of your relationship by understanding what is a long-distance relationship and what it involves. Then, you can start enjoying and appreciating the perks of a long-distance relationship.
If you are struggling in a long-distance relationship, first understand what is causing your struggles. Once you understand what exactly you’re struggling with, you can express it to your long-distance partner. If you need help expressing your thoughts, feelings, and doubts to your partner, check out the article on how to communicate effectively in a long-distance relationship.
Assess if your finances are affecting your relationship, so you can make realistic plans. If you do not have the means to visit each other regularly, and you do not have a plan for how you can make a long-distance relationship work, challenges will quickly turn into struggles.
If you want to see each other more frequently but are feeling powerless to do anything about it, this workbook will give you a different perspective on your relationship. It will also help you make the most of your visits and learn to manage your relationship when you are apart.
3. Embrace the Solitude
Being in a long-distance relationship means you will have to spend most of your time apart from your partner. But it doesn’t mean that you have to be alone or feel lonely.
Loneliness and solitude are not the same. You can enjoy solitude because you can create your personal space the way you want it. Loneliness is a feeling of sadness because you want to be with someone, but you can’t be for some reason.
So, loneliness in a long-distance relationship is more about your mindset and attitude towards life than the relationship itself. Even partners who live together, feel lonely sometimes. Loneliness in the relationship comes from a lack of connection and understanding.
A long-distance relationship isn’t an exception. If you are not feeling connected or understood by your partner, you will feel alone regardless of the geographical distance. So, one thing you can do is talk to your partner about your feelings.
Take a look at our article about intimacy in a long-distance relationship for some ideas and guidance.
Being alone is not a bad thing.
A bit of solitude helps you reflect on your own life, goals, and ambitions. If you do feel lonely, you can always hang around with friends or family.
If you see loneliness as a burden and suffering, it will be tough to cope with it in a long-distance relationship. So the best thing you can do is to change your mindset.
Instead of seeing loneliness as a burden, you can see it as an opportunity to do something you enjoy with people you like. At the same time, you can have an intimate relationship with someone you love and trust. This workbook will give direction and guidance towards building intimacy in a long-distance relationship.
4. Keep Your Relationship from Getting Boring
Many couples tend to talk to each other on the phone for hours and hours every day. Other couples keep texting each other all the time. This inevitably leads to problems in your long-distance relationship. If you talk too much to your long-distance partner, sooner or later you will run out of things to say.
When your long-distance relationship becomes boring, first of all, you need to understand why. Your long-distance relationship can become boring if you don’t have anything interesting to talk about.
Of course, you can always find something to say, but your conversation can become boring and meaningless. Another problem with this is that you won’t have time to do anything interesting with your life around you.
Excessive communication may lead to boring conversations where you have nothing to talk about. This is something you can easily fix. All you need to do is reduce the amount of time you spend talking to each other and instead do something interesting and exciting with your life. So that when you do speak to each other it may not last as long, but it will be fun to share all the exciting things you’ve been up to.
Instead, spend more time with people around you. A long-distance relationship allows you an opportunity to pursue your own life goals and ambitions. You have the time to do fun things and have exciting experiences in your everyday life. When you do, you can share something interesting with your long-distance partner the next time you talk.
If you have time, take a look at our article for an overview of what it takes to have a healthy long-distance relationship.
You both will be able to talk about fun, exciting, and interesting things you are doing in your life.
When you spend more time enjoying your personal life, you will talk less to your long-distance partner, but the time you spend together will be quality time.
Here are some things you need to do to keep your long-distance relationship fun and exciting:
- Do something fun in your life, so you can share it with your long-distance partner when you talk to each other.
- Send each other funny, loving, interesting, and inspirational text messages.
- Do more hot and sexy video calls.
- Make your long-distance relationship fun, you can do something thoughtful and spontaneous like planning a surprise trip together.
- Visit each other in new places every time you meet.
Making your relationship fun and exciting is essential if you are to get through the distance phase while still being happy together. This workbook has a ton of ideas as well as a hands-on things for you to do together.
5. Explore Life Outside of Your Relationship
When you are in a long-distance relationship, you spend more time without your partner than with them.
But, just because you’re away from your long-distance partner, doesn’t mean you have to be alone. You can carry on living your life, having friends or spending time with your family. A long-distance relationship is an opportunity to spend a lot of time doing the things you love doing. You can catch up on your studies, work, or hobbies.
It’s important that you have fun in your long-distance relationship. Having fun in a long-distance relationship doesn’t mean you have to do something fun together. Of course, having interesting conversations and having fun when you meet each other is part of it. But it’s not the only thing.
Having fun in a long-distance relationship means you are having fun in your life and sharing it with each other when you talk and during your visits.
When you enjoy what you are doing, you are more fulfilled with your life in general. In turn, this will have a positive influence on those around you.
A long-distance relationship is perfect for both of you to enjoy your own lives separately and share the things you do. This sharing can create more intimacy and a deeper bond in a relationship.
Keeping your relationship, fun and exciting is a must if you are to make it work.
Long-distance relationships can get hard very quickly and bring a great deal of suffering to both partners.
6. Use Gadgets to Keep Things Interesting
Even though being apart may be difficult, there are many things you can do to spice up your relationship, here’s a workbook that will do the trick:
If you want to show your love and appreciation to your partner, you can always send them an interesting or meaningful gift to give them something tangible to remember you by.
You can also get a more tangible connection through remote interactive gifts. You can try different gadgets on the market that can help you to spice up your sex life online. While they don’t replace physical intimacy, they can bring you sexual satisfaction while you are apart.
7. Get Professional Help to Deal with Overwhelming Emotions
Sometimes, overwhelming emotions can make it very hard to find an understanding of your relationship or your circumstances.
If you are struggling with your long-distance relationship and need some help to make it work, this workbook is a perfect place to start.
When a couple struggles in a long-distance relationship, it can be hard for partners to hear each other and see a way to improve their relationship. Both people tend to suffer, and each person wants to be heard and understood.
If this happens, to save your relationship, you may need help from a relationship coach who can listen to both sides and find a way to bring the two of you together.
Physical separation from your partner is part and parcel of a long-distance relationship. Learning to spend your alone time constructively will keep your mind occupied and you will also be more productive.
Of course, there will be times when you will want to be next to your partner, to hold them and kiss them. The fact that you cannot do that can be very frustrating.
If you find yourself frustrated, talk about it with your partner and find a way to bring excitement into your long-distance relationship. Don’t let your long-distance relationship become boring, and don’t see it as a chore.
One way to bring fun into your relationship is by doing something thoughtful and spontaneous like planning a surprise trip together.
During your alone time, you may also think about the kind of things you would like to do next time you see each other. Make a list of the issues you would want to bring up during your conversations.
For a complete overview, take a look at our article on how to make your long-distance relationship work where we discuss every aspect of this type of relationship and explore what it takes to make it work until you can close the distance.
Frequently Asked Questions
What to do when you feel lonely in a long-distance relationship?
For one, you can embrace the solitude and stop seeing your alone time as something negative. If you find yourself missing your partner too much, write down your feelings in your journal. This way, you will get to express yourself without disturbing your partner outside of your agreed times for talking.
How to not feel lonely in a long-distance relationship?
To avoid feeling lonely in a long-distance relationship, invite other people into your life. You can catch up with family, and friends, or even go out and meet new people who share your interests.
How to handle loneliness in a long-distance relationship?
1. Use your alone time wisely.
2. Think about your relationship and what you can do to make it better.
3. Get involved with other aspects of life, outside your relationship.
How to overcome loneliness in a long-distance relationship?
To overcome loneliness in a long-distance relationship recognise your feelings, write them down and share them with your partner next time you talk. Embrace the solitude as an opportunity to connect with yourself. Show gratitude by focusing on everything that is great about your life.