Table of Contents
Long-distance relationships can be hard to handle.
If you treat them like a normal relationship, you will run into some bumps.
If you find yourself struggling in a long-distance relationship, maybe you need to check if you can handle it.
- How to know if you can handle the distance
- Are you managing your time separate and together?
- Are you communicating effectively?
- Are you developing emotional connection?
- Are you keeping your relationship hot and spicy?
- What to do if you can’t handle your long-distance relationship anymore
Long-distance relationships can be great in many ways. However, they have two main challenges: communication and lack of physical intimacy.
If you don’t know how to handle these two aspects of a relationship, it will get more challenging, and with time will ruin your relationship altogether.
How to Know If You Can Handle the Distance
When you are starting a long-distance relationship, you might have doubts about whether or not you can handle this type of relationship.
If you meet someone special online, distance shouldn’t deter you from getting to know that person. However, you should also know how to handle a long-distance relationship and what to expect from it.
For example, long-distance relationships are great for getting to know someone who lives far away from you. But after you got to know each other well enough, it will come a time for you to visit each other to see how you get on in real life.
After visiting each other for a few months, you may discover that you want to have a go at living together. But, to move in together, you need the means and opportunity to do so.
If you can’t move in together, your long-distance relationship will become a struggle where most of your time you spend wishing for something you cannot have. A way to handle your long-distance relationship is by setting realistic goals and expectations from the very beginning.
When you begin a new relationship, first of all you get to know each other. But soon after that, particularly if your relationship is getting serious you should consider setting some specific goals for your LDR.
Many couples skip this step and end up struggling in a perpetual long-distance relationship, which, without direction, can get pretty daunting relatively quickly. Since it can be a challenging task for many, we’ve created a workbook that’ll help you out with getting started.
Are You Managing Your Time Separate and Together?
One of the main issues when being in a long-distance relationship is managing your own time and dedicating enough time to your long-distance partner.
Many long-distance couples live so far from each other than time difference is an issue.
The main problem with time difference is syncing your schedules. If you live in different countries, the time difference can be a significant obstacle in your communication. So, you need to agree when is the best time for you to talk.
Another problem is being in the right frame of mind to talk. Depending on your routine and the time difference, one of you may be fresh and ready to have a conversation. At the same time, the other one is going to be tired after work needing a rest.
Setting some time to talk when both of you are happy and can dedicate time and attention to each other is essential. Then, you can have quality time together, even if it is for a short time.
Click here to learn how to manage the time difference in your relationship.
Are You Communicating Effectively?
The way you communicate with your long-distance partner is different from how you communicate when you’re living together. In a long-distance relationship, your primary forms of communication are texting messaging, phone calls, and video calling.
If you are serious about making your relationship work, communication is the very first thing you should be focusing on. While it may be hard to know where to begin, you can use this workbook to give you guidance and take you through necessary steps.
Having good communication with your long-distance partner is the one thing that can help you go through the difficult time of being apart. Having interesting and fun conversations is important to keep your relationship exciting.
A lot of struggles in a long-distance relationship come from partners not being able to express with each other, which can leave each of you feeling alone and confused. If you feel this way, you either find a way to talk about your relationship with your partner or let it go.
Are You Developing Emotional Connection?
Having good communication will help you build a deeper connection with your partner, where you can feel free to talk about your feelings and make plans for the future.
Expressing yourself in a way your partner can understand is not easy when you do not see them in front of you. When you are away from your romantic partner, you have a lot of doubts, uncertainties, and frustrations. These are things you should be able to discuss with your partner openly and freely.
When you are in a new relationship you feel excited, and have a huge interest in getting to know each other. Use this time to go a bit deeper from the initial attraction and learn more about your partner or your possible partner to make sure your main values, and beliefs match and that you are looking for the same type of relationship. Click here to learn how you can get to know each other better.
Once you can express your feelings to your long-distance partner honestly and clearly, you need to make sure that they understand your point of view. For this, they have to be willing to see things from your perspective.
To effectively handle a long-distance relationship, you need to maintain an emotional connection through effective communication and physical intimacy with frequent visits.
Here is a step by step guide to help you with intimacy in your long-distance relationship.
Are You Keeping Your Relationship Hot and Spicy?
Distance affects how you communicate and manage your intimacy. There are many reasons why couples struggle to handle a long-distance relationship. The two main reasons are communication and physical intimacy.
When you live with your romantic partner, you see each other every day and physical intimacy isn’t as much of a problem. However, in a long-distance relationship, you can only be physically close when you visit each other or go on trips together.
But, if you don’t have the means to visit each other regularly, and you don’t have a plan for how you can make a long-distance relationship work, it will quickly become a struggle.
There are ways you can make your long-distance relationship work, but only for a few months. If your long-distance relationship lasts a long time, it will get progressively harder to maintain.
A romantic relationship implies having physical intimacy with another person. So it’s normal to expect physical closeness when you’re starting a romantic relationship. It’s also normal and expected to get sexually frustrated if you can’t be close to your magic partner regularly.
If you are struggling with your long-distance relationship and need some help to make it work, this workbook is a perfect place to start.
What to Do if You Can’t Handle Long-Distance Relationship Anymore?
If you feel that your long-distance relationship is becoming too much and you can’t handle it any more, it might be worth taking some time apart.
Tell your long-distance partner that you would like a week apart to get in touch with yourself and your feelings. It will allow you to reflect on your relationship and bring your mind to knowing what you want from it. As a bonus, it will also allow your partner a chance to reflect for themselves.
After a week apart you may discover that you can see things more clearly and find solutions for your problems. You may also find that your long-distance relationship isn’t working for you and you may want to end it. Click here to learn how to end your relationship on good terms.
Whatever you discover, try to share it with your long-distance partner. Instead of concluding for yourself that your long-distance relationship isn’t working and you decide to break up, tell them why you feel that way. Share with your partner what you think isn’t working. This way, you can determine your next steps together, instead of giving them an ultimatum.
To make it work, it would help if you know how to cope with a long-distance relationship and the different aspects of being away from your partner.
- Try to figure out what isn’t working for you in your long-distance relationship.
- Talk about your feelings, doubts, and concerns with your partner.
- Take time to hear out your partner’s s point of view.
- Together come up with different ways to solve this problem.
- It’s easier to find solutions that work for both of you when you and your partner are on the same team.
When you’re trying to make a long-distance relationship work, you should know how to cope with different problems. Learn more about common problems in this article.
Tips for Couples Who Struggle to Handle Their Long-Distance Relationship:
- Agree with your partner on how long the distance in your relationship will last.
- Set goals for your long-distance relationship.
- Make a plan to maintain your long-distance relationship for as long as it lasts.
- Discuss when and how is the best way for you to communicate.
- Avoid excessive communication, which can lead to a waste of time and a boring relationship.
- Arrange dates for seeing each other as often as you can. Agree on how often you will visit each other while in a long-distance relationship.
- Embrace the opportunity of having a lot of time for yourself while you are in a long-distance relationship.
- Spice up your long-distance relationship with gifts, romantic surprises, and spontaneous trips together.
- Have a specific end date for you to move in together.
Many couples find themselves struggling in their long-distance relationship. These struggles give the impression that long-distance relationships are hard. When you know how to handle your long-distance relationship the right way, many struggles can be avoided.
Having a healthy and successful long-distance relationship requires you to know how to handle different aspects of your relationship.
Being aware of the challenges of being in a long-distance relationship can help you avoid the struggles long-distance couples face. Once you know what to expect, you can find a way to handle your relationship and avoid most of the issues.
In turn, it will allow you to enjoy a healthy relationship and greatly increase your chances of making your long-distance relationship work. Not knowing how to handle these struggles can lead to problems. Leaving the problems unsolved may result in an unhealthy relationship, which can with time become toxic.
Long-distance relationships are great to get to know someone new online, but you should meet in real life after a few months. It’s hard to tell what it is like to be with a person until you meet them face to face. After you’ve met, you will know whether you can have a serious relationship or not. If you decide to have a serious romantic relationship, you need to talk about how to deal with the time you will apart and have a goal for moving in together.
- Recognise your long-distance relationship for what it is and not for what you want it to be.
- If something isn’t working, figure out what it is.
- Assess your possibilities and set realistic expectations about your relationship.
- Recognise how you feel about the long-distance and talk to your partner about it.
- Agree on the means and frequency of your communication.
- Maintain trust, honesty, and openness.
- Talk about meaningful things.
- Avoid talking too much about nothing.
- Make a plan and a timeline for how often you will visit each other, and when you will move in together.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I handle a long-distance relationship?
You can handle a long-distance relationship by recognising that it is different from a regular relationship.
When you live together with your partner, you see each other every day. You can be physically together whenever you like.
In a long-distance relationship, your physical intimacy is only available when you visit each other. To compensate for the lack of physical intimacy you need to maintain an emotional connection through effective communication.
Are long-distance relationships possible without a struggle?
Long-distance brings a lot of uncertainties into your relationship. Unprocessed doubts and worries can turn into anxiety and depression. The best way to cope with negative feelings in a long-distance relationship is to express them to your partner.
Also, take time to hear out your partner’s thoughts and concerns. As long as you and your partner are ready to hear each other out and make an effort to resolve the issues, coping with a long-distance relationship won’t be a problem.
Is it normal to struggle in a long-distance relationship?
Generally, the reason couples struggle in a long-distance relationship is because they see it as a burden. If you focus on how inconvenient this relationship is and how many things you cannot do while long-distance, you will see your situation as a struggle.
When should you give up on a long-distance relationship?
You can tell it is time to move on from a relationship when it becomes a struggle and no longer contributes to your life and well-being. If you choose to end a relationship, start by sharing your feelings and needs with your partner. Once you understand each other’s needs and points of view, you can agree how you can move forward in a way that works for both of you.
What are the red flags in a long-distance relationship?
– You feel like you are drifting apart.
– You don’t have a plan to move in together.
– You are focusing on the relationship more than you do on your personal life
How do you stay emotionally connected in a long-distance relationship?
1. Take time to listen to one another.
2. Develop understanding by learning more about each other.
3. Do fun things online and visit each other frequently.
How long do long-distance relationships usually last?
Long-distance relationships can last from a few months to 5+ years. Whether they are healthy or not is a different question. And, while long-distance couples go a long way to make their relationship work, it does not necessarily mean they are happy.
How Healthy Is Your Long-Distance Relationship?
If you are having doubts about your long-distance relationship and are not sure if you should try to fix it or let it go, here is our step by step guide to help you and your partner reassess your relationship and make an educated decision that works for both of you.
Relationship Coaching for Long-Distance Couples
Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain without knowing exactly what they involve.
However, once you understand what long-distance relationships are, what they are not and how to navigate them, you are a lot more likely to make it work.
We specialise in helping long-distance couples create and maintain a healthy relationship by building intimacy, trust and effective communication.
If you are starting a long-distance relationship or are already in one, send us a message to book an individual coaching session for yourself or a couples coaching session for you and your partner.