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Are you running out of things to talk about in your relationship?
Good communication is a fundamental aspect of a healthy relationship. At the beginning of a relationship, conversations flow effortlessly, keeping both of you excited and eager to learn more about each other. However, after some time, couples find themselves having mundane conversations about everyday things that do not carry any emotional fulfilment. Meaningful conversations can help you stay emotionally connected. While practical conversations and objective discussions can help you address problems in your relationship.
Throughout this article, we will explore different conversation topics to talk about and how to address each of them.
How to Start a Relationship Conversation
Before starting a relationship, you should consider if this relationship is right for you. After seeing your potential partner a few times, you may get an idea of whether you would want to get to know them better and start a relationship.
If you already know the person that you are considering having a romantic relationship with, you should tell them how you feel. If you don’t express how you feel, you’re guaranteed not to have a romantic relationship.
If you express your feelings, another person might share them, or they may not. If they don’t have romantic feelings for you or they’re not interested in having a romantic relationship, they will tell you so.
It may also happen that this person likes you, and they’re happy to start a relationship with you. In this case, you should give it a go.
When you start a relationship, talk about your feelings and circumstances. Even if you share the same feelings, you may not be in the position to have a relationship. In this case, you might be better off keeping in touch as friends and exploring your connection without getting romantically involved.
However, if you have mutual feelings towards each other and you think you can make your relationship work, then you should talk about a couple of things:
- Express your feelings
- Ask your potential partner about their feelings
- Don’t expect your feelings to be reciprocated
- Be prepared for the other person not being interested in having a romantic relationship with you. Don’t see it as a rejection. The other person also has their reasons for not wanting a relationship.
New Relationship Conversations
When you click with someone and start a relationship, your conversations flow easily. But now and then, you may feel stuck. There are many reasons to be lost for words while having conversations with someone you just met.
Sometimes you want to ask something, but you’re too shy or embarrassed to do it. Other times, you may have doubts about yourself, the other person or about the relationship.
Conversation starter games and couples journals can help you with this problem. All you have to do is suggest playing these games or going through the questions in a journal with another person.
This, allows you to start conversations, learn new and important things about each other. And you don’t need to feel anxious about asking questions because all you do is follow the process.
It may take some time to feel that trust and develop a deeper connection. In the beginning, you can start with casual chitchat that will give you an idea of what the person is going through in their life at the moment.
Here are some ideas of what you can ask your partner:
- What are your partner’s hobbies and interests?
- What are your partner’s life goals and ambitions?
- What are your partner’s values and beliefs?
- What personal qualities are important for your partner?
- What does your partner want from a relationship?
Maybe you don’t need to be forward and direct right away. But these questions can give you a direction for your conversations, so you can find a flow and get to know each other.
As your relationship develops and you build trust, you should be able to open up to each other more easily. But, if after a few months you still experience barriers, then you should talk about it and how much you can and want to trust each other.
Relationship Conversations Topics
While there’s nothing wrong with having a chat and a catch-up, it’s important to talk about meaningful things in your life and your relationship.
Crucial things to talk about in a relationship are:
- Your life
- Your feelings
- Your circumstances
- Your personal goals
- Your relationship goals
It’s a good idea to have a timeline for your relationship with specific goals and a plan. These things will help you navigate your relationship and reassure you that you are on the right track.
It is essential to talk about important and meaningful topics about your life and your relationship. However, it is even more important to have fun during your conversations. If you don’t have fun in your relationship it can quickly become a chore.
If your communication is poor, you may start growing apart. Keeping your relationship fun and exciting is the best way to make the most of it and to make it work while you are away from each other.
Remember that anything meaningful to you can be a topic of conversation. Talk about funny, meaningful, intimate, difficult, serious, romantic and dreamy topics.
How to Keep Conversations Interesting in a Relationship
When you are in a relationship, you may find yourself talking to each other on the phone or texting, apart from seeing each other a few times a week. If you spend too much time talking, your conversations can get boring because you won’t have anything new or interesting to talk about.
If you find yourself in a situation where you have nothing to talk about, consider reducing the amount of time and frequency of your conversations. Doing so will give you a chance to live your real life, then you will have something to share with your partner.
You can only talk about interesting things if something exciting happens in your life. If you spend too much time talking to each other, you don’t give a chance for interesting things to happen. So you will not have anything interesting to talk about, it’s that simple.
There are different ways you can have interesting conversations. For example, you can start a new hobby or class. You could play games together, so you talk about them. As well as sharing something you both enjoy. A couple’s journals can also spice things up and give you something interesting to talk about. These journals have different questions and various topics you could discuss.
To make your conversations more exciting and interesting you should talk about things that have some meaning. The more interesting is your personal life, the more you can share with your partner. When you talk about things that are important to you have more passion and excitement. Which in turn will draw your partner into it and would want to know more about them.
Here are some ideas of what to talk about. You can start applying in your life and your relationship:
- Your history, your life story, what happened and when
- Your present feelings and circumstances
- Your future plans
How to Have Conversations in Your Relationship
- Set the intention for having this conversation and what you want to achieve.
- Set the time and space to talk with your partner so you don’t have to rush or worry about anything else.
- Before starting the conversation, express your goals and expectations upfront as openly and honestly as you can.
- Express yourselves and try to understand each other’s points of view.
- Try to hear the feelings and needs behind the words your partner is saying.
- Avoid premature moralistic judgements and jumping to conclusions.
Your intention may include:
- To express yourself
- For your partner to understand your point of view
- For you to understand your partner better
- To address any particular issues.
Setting the time and space is particularly important if you want to discuss
more personal, meaningful, deep, serious topics.
Only look for solutions if this is your objective and only after you heard and understood each other.
How to Have a Difficult Relationship Conversation
Feelings change every day, so it can be important to share them. To have a healthy relationship, you need to have effective communication. To have effective communication, you should learn to express yourself in a way that your partner understands you. You also need to be able to listen and understand your partner.
Some topics are probably more difficult to talk about than others. Particularly, when those topics are causing some issues in your relationship, such as the lack of physical intimacy.
When approaching your partner with this topic, express your interest in discussing them and look for ways to improve it.
Discussing these topics is difficult because of the way you may say things and the way your partner is hearing them. Most of the time, your partner will hear that you are unhappy and are blaming them for it. This can make them act defensively, which in turn, will end up in an argument.
Starting a conversation with your partner should be fun and easy. You may find yourself in a situation where you need to talk about things that feel uncomfortable.
If this is the case, all you need to do is tell your partner that there are things that bother you, or you aren’t sure about. Tell them you would like to share these thoughts and doubts with them to get their point of you.
To start a more serious conversation, you should agree on a time and the space to do it. Instead of randomly calling your partner or sending them a text diving into the problems. Arrange a time where both of you could spend an hour or two talking about it without feeling rushed.
It’s also important to have certain boundaries. When it comes to having conversations. You can agree on:
- When is the best time for you to talk.
- How long how conversations should last.
- What are your preferred means of communication. Some topics are better to talk about face to face than over the phone.
Having this agreement will help you remain focused while talking about important things in your relationship.
Relationship Conversation Problems
In a healthy relationship, conversations should flow by themselves. If you have to start thinking about what to say to your partner, it can be a sign that it’s time to reassess your relationship.
Here are some common conversation problems in a relationship:
- Not listening to each other
- One partner wants to be right
- Misunderstandings because you or your partner are not expressing yourselves clearly
- Talking too much or not enough
- Not knowing exactly what you want to say
- Not talking about meaningful things that matter
- Saying things that don’t make sense to the other person
- Not paying attention when the other person is speaking
- Not taking the time to hear the other person’s point of view
- Forgetting to create the right space and time for the conversation
- Not sharing your feelings which can get in the way of emotional connection
- Not checking that the other person understood you in the way you intended
Help and Advice with Having Healthy Conversations with Meaningful Topics
- If you are struggling to start a conversation, try to understand why.
- If your conversations get boring, see what has changed and why the conversations are no longer interesting.
- Effective communication is key to making your relationship work.
If you don’t know how to have healthy conversations in your relationship and need professional help and advice, we’ll be happy to help! Check out our coaching options here.
Sometimes, in a relationship, you end up talking about the same things. This can lead to boring conversations.
Talking too much or too little can be a common problem in a relationship. While the amount of time you should talk is subjective and varies from couple to couple. There is a healthy amount of time that you should spend talking with your partner to keep the connection.
The exact amount of time and the frequency of your communication is something you need to agree on with your partner. A healthy amount of time is the one that allows you to talk to each other enough to express yourself and feel connected.
At the same time, make sure that you don’t talk too much to avoid having boring conversations and wasting time that you could otherwise spend on doing something interesting with your life.
One thing you should keep in mind when having conversations with your partner is the way you communicate. It depends on the degree of importance and seriousness of your conversation and your discussion.
If you want to remind your partner that you love them, sending a text is fine. Phone conversations are great to catch up with when you’re on the go. Video calling works well to discuss things while seeing each other’s faces. And face to face conversations will help you deepen the bond and emotional connection.
If you find that there are issues you need to address, always discuss them in person. First, inform your partner of your intention to talk about them, so you can plan a time when you can properly discuss them.
Frequently Asked Questions
When should you have the relationship conversation?
When you feel ready to have a more serious relationship, you can talk to your partner to see if they feel the same way.
What are good conversations starters?
Conversations vary from talking about something fun, like planning a trip together deeper conversations about the state of your relationship and where you see it going. Also, you can talk about your feelings, needs and plans together.
How do you have a deep conversation with someone?
Before having a deep conversation with someone, you should have a certain degree of mutual trust. Then, you need to be clear about what you are trying to achieve with this conversation. Do you have specific goals in mind? Do you want to learn about the other person? Or Do you just want to share?
How do you keep the conversation going in a relationship?
In a healthy relationship, conversations should flow effortlessly. If there are some things you are struggling to talk about, tell your partner you are finding it hard to discuss a specific topic. You can ask them to take more time and effort to hear you out
What are good topics of conversation?
The topics of conversations depend on your intention. When you are clear about what you want to achieve from having a particular conversation you can start expressing yourself the best you can without worrying to do it right.