Table of Contents
Long-distance relationships come with a set of problems that most couples have to face. Knowing the root cause of your issues will help you fix the problems in your long-distance relationship, so you can enjoy this experience and make the most of your relationship.
- Become familiar with common problems in a long distance relationship
- Reflect on your relationship
- Become aware of your problems
- Discover the root cause of your problems
- Separate personal and relationship problems
- Fix your problems together
- Get professional help
Let’s explore these steps in detail…
1. Become Familiar with Common Problems in a Long-Distance Relationship
Long-distance relationships come with many challenges. Most of these challenges revolve around being away from your romantic partner for long periods at a time.
While every relationship is unique in some ways many long-distance couples face similar problems. Knowing the potential problems you may face can help you and your partner prepare yourselves to deal with them in a healthy way. For example, intimacy and sex are by far the biggest issues in long-distance relationships. A romantic relationship implies having physical intimacy. However, long distance couples go for weeks and months without seeing each other.
Of course there are ways to deal with a lack of physical intimacy for some time. You can have online dates, play sexy games, and masturbate together. None of these however fulfil the need for physical and intimate connection with your romantic partner.
You can keep it going for a few months, and even a year. But at some point this unfulfilled need for physical connection can turn into a source of sexual frustration. This frustration then can penetrate into other aspects of your relationship.
You can only be physically close in a long-distance relationship when you visit each other or go on trips together. That’s why it can be easy enough to maintain a long-distance relationship for a few months. But having a lack of physical intimacy for longer leads to sexual frustration and brings more suffering than joy.
It can certainly be challenging to maintain a healthy long-distance relationship. And that’s why we’ve created this workbook that covers all aspects of a long-distance relationship and allows you and your partner to work together on your relationship.
Another common problem in a long-distance relationship is communication, Which for the most part takes place online. Without seeing your partner in front of you you are automatically deprived of a big part of non-verbal communication as well as intuitive feelings you get that allow you to gauge how your partner feels at a time.
What it means is that during online interaction you rely on verbal communication to express yourself and understand your partners feelings and intentions. What do you say how do you say it and when you say things plays a big role in determining how much you understand each other. Many couples, including those in a long distance relationship, don’t give enough importance to the way they communicate.
As a result, poor communication leads to misunderstanding and unnecessary arguments. Consequently, this puts even more strain on an already complicated situation of being in a long distance relationship. Click here to learn more about communication in a long-distance relationship.
If you would like to learn more about common problems of a long distance relationship and how to fix them, check out this article. Check out this article.
2. Reflect on Your Relationship
Once you get familiar with potential problems you may face while being physically apart from your romantic partner, it is time to reflect on your relationship. In our article on how to make a long-distance relationship work, we cover all the main areas, common problems, and how you can address them in a healthy way. So, if you would like some direction take a look at this article for some guidance.
Reflecting on your relationship can in itself be quite a challenge. If you are having issues, it means that you were not able to handle them before. With time, it is reasonable to expect that these issues have accumulated and have potentially become quite sensitive.
Bringing up sensitive topics is never easy. However, to get your relationship back on track this is one of those things you just have to do.
To help you out, we have created a complete guide that walks you through each area of a long distance relationship step by step. It contains common problems and mistakes include some tips how to avoid them. In here, you will also find a series of questions for you and your partner to work through.
3. Become Aware of Your Problems
Reflecting on your relationship While bringing up and addressing problematic areas can I help you become aware of the problems that you may not have known about. How often do you find yourself having arguments and then asking yourself why? How often do you find yourself feeling unsettled or agitated without having a clear understanding where this negativity comes from?
Becoming aware of your feelings, insecurities, doubts and concerns is an essential step to building emotional connection and understanding with your partner. Without being aware of The source of your problems it is almost impossible to deal with these problems effectively.
Unless you address the root cause of your issues, you are likely to have more arguments and fights rather than working on solutions to fix these problems.
Often, couples see the manifestation of problems in the form of dissatisfaction, frustration, disappointment, as well as feeling hopeless and powerless. While it is healthy to acknowledge and express your feelings, it is equally important to develop effective communication to build understanding and discuss the practical aspects of your situation.
As a rule of thumb, try to separate the conversation where you share your thoughts, feelings, doubts and concerns from the times you discuss your relationship goals and expectations.
Once you can manage your emotions it becomes a lot easier to have a productive discussion where you can work together in finding solutions that work for both of you regarding a particular issue.
If you would like to lear more about intimacy in a long-distance relationship, take a look at this article. And, if you want a practical guide on how you can build intimacy with your partner, consider this step by step guide.
4. Discover the Root Cause of Your Problems
As we have discussed earlier, you are more likely to experience a manifestation of a problem, rather than a problem itself. Negative feelings can tell you that you have unfulfilled needs.
Your first step is to acknowledge your feelings and share them with your partner. Ideally, your partner would take the time and care to hear you out and share how they feel about the situation.
Once you have shared your feelings and took the time to hear each other out and understand both points of view, you should be in the right frame of mind to focus on the problems at hand.
When you start breaking down the problems coma you are likely to discover underlying issues that you may not have seen before. It is these “undercover” issues that in fact need to be fixed.
5. Separate Personal and Relationship Problems
When things start to go wrong, one fundamental issue can affect many areas of your relationship causing a number of different problems. Naturally, this can quickly become confusing and overwhelming.
To make fixing problems more manageable, tried to separate personal issues from relationship problems.
An example of personal issues can be insecurities, traumas from past experiences, problematic behaviours, unset or false expectations, a lack of direction in life, general sense of fulfilment in personal life, etc.
Relationship problems include a lack of direction, poor communication, a lack of physical and emotional intimacy, a lack of goals, unrealistic expectations etc.
When it comes to long distance relationship, distance can also be a cause of certain problems. For the most part, Long distance couples face similar problems as regular couples, only manifested in a slightly different way. The one problem that is specific to a long distance relationship is a lack of physical intimacy due to distance.
Here is a workbook that walks you through the steps needed to manage the distance in your relationship.
The only way to manage a lack of physical intimacy in a long distance relationship is by regularly visiting each other and making a realistic plan to move in together at some point in a not so distant future.
6. Fix Your Problems Together
When it comes to fixing personal problems, each partner has to take full responsibility for addressing the issues. It’s okay for you to help each other with personal issues by providing support and giving feedback. One caveat is that you should not expect your partner to fix your problems for you.
Relationship problems on the other hand, have to be fixed by both of you. When discussing possible solutions to your relationship problems you and your partner have to be willing to make your relationship work and be prepared to make the necessary effort to build a healthy relationship.
Try to avoid compromises were possible and look for solutions that work for both of you.
The key elements you need to fix your personal and relationship problems are trust and understanding. Without trust it will be very hard for you to share your feelings and true intentions.
Without understanding, he will struggle to find reasonable solutions. Effective communication can I help you build trust and develop understanding. If you would like to know what effective communication in a long-distance relationship looks like, check out this article.
If you would like a more hands-on approach, take a look at this workbook. It will show you how to improve communication with your partner step-by-step.
One thing you should keep in mind is that not all problems in a long-distance relationship can be fixed. While there are effective ways to address relationship problems, sometimes long-distance relationships just do not work.
Before you try to fix your long-distance relationship, ask yourself if it’s worth it. Sometimes, a long-distance relationship doesn’t work, and it can be time to let it go. And, at some point it becomes much healthier to let go of a long distance relationship that doesn’t work, rather than trying to fix something that cannot be fixed.
If you are having doubts about your long-distance relationship and are not sure if you should try to fix it or let it go, this article should give you some clarity.
Here are some tips to help you fix the problems in your long-distance relationship:
- Figure out what isn’t working in your long-distance relationship.
- Write down your thoughts and feelings on different aspects of your relationship.
- Share your feelings, thoughts, and concerns with your long-distance partner.
- Allow your partner the time to reflect on what you said.
- Take time to listen to your partner’s feelings, thoughts, doubts, and concerns.
- Discuss your issues with your partner.
- Together with your partner, you can find a solution that works for both of you and your relationship.
You can also use our workbook to reflect on how healthy your long-distance relationship really is. This guide will help you and your partner reassess your relationship and make an educated decision going forward that works for both of you.
7. Get Professional Help
Fixing problems in a long-distance relationship can become emotionally overwhelming. When emotions prevail, it becomes very difficult to approach the problems in a way that is healthy and productive on our website, you can find articles on every aspect of a long distance relationship.
For a more hands-on approach to dealing with your problems we have a library of workbooks and guides to help you address specific problems in a particular area of your long-distance relationship.
If you struggle processing your emotions or finding a satisfying solution to your problems consider booking an introductory coaching session. During this session we will hear you out and give you a neutral and unbiased feedback on your situation.
When you know how to deal with your long-distance relationship, you can maintain a healthy and successful relationship with your romantic partner.
Romantic relationships imply physical intimacy. When you are in a long-distance relationship, you will have a lack of physical intimacy for weeks or months at a time.
You can use effective communication to build understanding and maintain trust. It will help you keep an emotional connection. But you also need to visit each other regularly and go on spontaneous and fun trips together if you are to maintain a physical connection.
Long-distance relationships have a lot of benefits and can be great fun. However, for couples that want to be together but can’t, long-distance relationships become a struggle.
There are many things you can do to avoid problems in a long-distance relationship. For example, effective communication can help you maintain an emotional connection. Frequent visits and spontaneous trips together can help you maintain physical intimacy.
Tips on How to Deal with Long-Distance Relationship:
- Recognise your long-distance relationship for what it is and not for what you want it to be.
- Work on communicating openly and clearly with your long-distance partner.
- Maintain trust by sharing your feelings, thoughts, doubts, and concerns with your partner.
- If something is bothering you, try to express it straight away.
- If you feel strong emotions, take some time to understand them better before you share them with your partner.
- Communicate regularly but not too much.
- Find a balance between maintaining a connection with your long-distance partner/communication and living your life and doing the things you enjoy with your friends, family, or by yourself.
However, having problems now and then is inevitable and it’s normal. As long as you know what to do with problems and have a strategy to deal with them, you’ll be able to fix them.
Maintaining a healthy and successful long-distance relationship isn’t easy, but it is possible. To fix problems, you must have effective communication.
When you have an understanding with your long-distance partner, you can work out most of your issues in a healthy way.
Long-distance brings a lot of uncertainties and confusion into a relationship. Because of this, problems are likely to arise, so you need to learn how to handle them. Having a strategy to resolve problems will help you maintain trust and connection in your long-distance relationship.
- Recognise your long-distance relationship for what it is, and not for what you want it to be.
- If you’re struggling with something in your long-distance relationship, talk to your partner about it.
- Express your thoughts and feelings as clearly as you can.
- Take time to listen to your partner’s point of you.
- Hear each other out and together decide on your options going forward.
When you face a problem, acknowledge what is causing it. Discuss it with your partner, and together, find a solution that works for both of you. Sometimes, it is hard to find a solution that satisfies both of you. If you are struggling to fix your problems in your long-distance relationship consider getting professional help.
We specialise in helping long-distance couples create and maintain a healthy relationship by building intimacy, trust and effective communication. If you are starting a long-distance relationship or are already in one, send us a message to book a coaching session for you and your partner.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I fix my long-distance relationship?
You can fix your long-distance relationship by discussing the problems with your partner. After considering all possible solutions, you may decide to find something that can fix your relationship. However, you may also find that things have changed and your long-distance relationship has come to an end. If this happens, discuss it with your partner all the same. You don’t need to break up with lots of hate and arguments. There might be a way where you can remain friends and be there for each other in time of need.
How to fix a long-distance relationship breakup?
Once you decide to break up, you should probably move on with your life. Clinging to something that is no longer there will do more harm than good. Why spend time suffering in a relationship that ended? It could be more fun to create an exciting relationship with an interesting person.
How do you fix a long-distance relationship after a fight?
After you fought for a long-distance relationship, take a few days or a week away from the relationship. A bit of space will help you and your partner reflect on your relationship and on the problems you may have. It will also give you a chance to calm down and look at your relationship more rationally. Sometimes overwhelming emotions can blind us from seeing what’s right in front of us. Having a different perspective can open your eyes to some of the solutions and how you can fix your relationship problems.
How do you fix a struggling long-distance relationship?
If you’re struggling in a long-distance relationship, ask yourself if your relationship is worth it. When you start a relationship with someone, you expect it to bring joy and fulfilment into your life. Every relationship has problems. But, if all you have in your relationship is a struggle, you might be better off moving on. Some problems are easy to fix. But sometimes the best thing you can do is to end the relationship that isn’t working and create a more healthy one with someone else.
How do you fix a long-distance relationship that’s falling apart?
If you feel that your long-distance relationship is falling apart, trie to find out why. Identify the problems that are causing dysfunction in your relationship. Once you know what’s not working, you can talk about it with your long-distance partner and find a solution for it. If you can change your circumstances, then do it. If you’re not in a position to change things, consider a different form of relationship or breaking up.
Can you fix a long-distance relationship break up?
After you’ve broken up, in most cases, you should probably move on. Being stuck in a relationship that has ended is a bit silly. Understandably, it isn’t easy because you are used to having someone special in your life. But you don’t have to say goodbye. If you are getting on well together but can’t be physically close, you can consider remaining friends.
How to fix problems in a long-distance relationship?
To fix problems in a long-distance relationship, you need to know what these problems are. Once you identify the problems, see if they are worth fixing. As long as you and your partner have a willingness to fix problems in your relationship, you can try to do so. However, if your feelings have changed and you drifted apart, perhaps it’s time to move on from your relationship altogether.
What is the best way to deal with a long-distance relationship problems?
The best way to deal with a long-distance relationship is to have a plan on how long a long-distance relationship would last and what you expect at the end of it. A romantic relationship implies having physical intimacy. It means that to have a healthy and successful romantic relationship, you should live with your magic button. If you have to do a long-distance relationship that’s fine, as long as it doesn’t last for more than a few months.
How to deal with a temporary long-distance relationship?
It’s a lot easier to deal with the temporary long-distance relationship that lasts for a few months. All you have to do is to maintain the physical and emotional connection and intimacy. You can maintain emotional intimacy by having clear communication and talking about meaningful things like your thoughts and feelings. You can maintain physical intimacy by visiting each other regularly and going on fun trips together.
How to deal with a long-distance relationship while pregnant?
To deal with a long-distance relationship while pregnant, you need to have a supportive partner. It can help to have a plan and a timeline in a long-distance relationship. It’s even more important to have a plan if you’re expecting a baby. Make sure you plan how your long-distance relationship will work, how long it will last, and when you will be able to move in together.
How to solve a problem in a long-distance relationship?
You can solve most problems in a long-distance relationship through understanding and effective communication.
Depending on the problem, you may decide to continue with your relationship and fix the problem or end your relationship altogether. Ending a relationship is just another way of solving a problem. For example, suppose your feelings have changed, and you have drifted apart from your partner. In that case, there is little point continuing this romantic relationship. You can always remain, friends, if you trust each other and want to have each other in your lives. However, suppose you are not having romantic feelings or regular physical intimacy. In that case, you might be better off finding someone else with whom you can be together.
How to deal with being in a long-distance relationship?
You can maintain closeness in a long-distance relationship by having clear and open communication with your partner. When you have understanding and willingness to hear each other out, you can deal with most problems that come your way. Dealing with a long-distance relationship requires you to have trust understanding and effective communication. When you have effective communication, you can work out most problems resulting from being away from your partner. Effective communication can help you maintain an emotional connection with your partner when you’re away.
It can also help you plan your relationship and see when you can move in together.
How can I make my long-distance relationship work?
Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain without knowing exactly what they involve. However, once you understand what long-distance relationships are, what they are not and how to navigate them, you are a lot more likely to make it work.
How Healthy Is Your Long-Distance Relationship?
If you are having doubts about your long-distance relationship and are not sure if you should try to fix it or let it go, here is our step by step guide to help you and your partner reassess your relationship and make an educated decision that works for both of you.
Relationship Coaching for Long-Distance Couples
Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain without knowing exactly what they involve.
However, once you understand what long-distance relationships are, what they are not and how to navigate them, you are a lot more likely to make it work.
We specialise in helping long-distance couples create and maintain a healthy relationship by building intimacy, trust and effective communication.
If you are starting a long-distance relationship or are already in one, send us a message to book an individual coaching session for yourself or a couples coaching session for you and your partner.