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With today’s technology, it’s much easier to send a free message online to your long-distance partner. So why would you spend time writing a hand-written letter that will take a lot longer for them to receive?
Writing a letter in a long-distance relationship is a great way to show your partner how much you love them and how much you care. It can take longer to write, it will cost a little money, and it will take a week or so to get there. But all this extra effort is something that your partner can recognise and appreciate.
A written letter is a lot more personal than a text. When you see your partner is writing, you know they made an effort to get the paper and pen and write down their thoughts. Writing a letter also requires a lot more consideration. Do you think twice about what you write and check that what you’ve written is grammatically correct?
How to Write a Long-Distance Relationship Letter
An original letter contains content and a presentation. So let’s talk a little bit about each of these aspects of hand-writing a letter to your long-distance relationship partner.
When people write text messages, they don’t think much about what they write and how they write it.
So the messages have all sorts of abbreviations, sometimes they don’t have punctuation and have incorrect spelling. This makes it hard to read and understand what the message says.
It also leads to a bigger problem; the other person receiving the text message may not understand what it means and will have to make a lot of effort trying to decode it.
Sure, even a few scribbles probably mean the world to your long-distance partner, but why not taking a bit of care and make it extra special?
What Do You Write in a Long-Distance Relationship Letter?
Writing a letter is very similar to writing a blog post or an article, or any piece of writing that you may have done in school in college or university. So, what should the content of a letter for your long-distance relationship partner be like?
Your letter should contain an introduction, a middle part and an ending. Of course, you don’t need to have headings or make it formal; the main thing is that it flows and delivers a message. But keeping in mind this outline will help you have a structure for your thoughts.
Imagine you’re having a conversation with your long-distance partner face-to-face. What would be the first thing you tell them, What is that something that you can’t wait to let them know?
If you write a long-distance relationship letter as if you were talking to your partner face-to-face, that’s the feeling they will get when they read your letter.
So first of all, write down everything that you would want to say to them as it comes to your mind. Once you’ve done that you can re-read it and give it a little bit of a structure that was mentioned earlier.
Remember, you can’t go wrong with the letter. Whatever you write, your partner will be holding on to every word you say, and they will love it.
Some of the things you want to include in your letter to your long-distance partner are how you feel about your life, about them, and about your relationship.
A handwritten letter to your long-distance partner has many benefits. It has a more personal touch, similar to when you’re talking face-to-face. At the same time, it also gives you an opportunity to think as much as you want about your thoughts and feelings and the best way to express them.
When you are talking to your partner who is in front of you, you don’t have that much time to respond to questions, so all your responses are the first thoughts that come to your mind or something you say before you even get a chance to think about it. Texting gives you a little bit more flexibility in terms of time and a chance to think about what you want to say, but it is a lot less personal.
Another beautiful thing about writing a letter is that you can decorate it and make it even more personal.
Decorating a Letter to Your Long-Distance Relationship Partner
A nice presentation of your long-distance relationship letter also makes a difference. Girls tend to spend a little bit more time making it pretty. They use different colours, draw some pictures and little flowers, bunny rabbits or anything that comes to their artistic mind.
Guys, on the other hand, may find it a little bit more challenging to decorate their letters in the same way. But that’s okay because when a girl reads a letter from her long-distance partner, her mind will decorate the letter with her imagination.
One thing you can do is to put a couple of printed photos together with the letter. If you are travelling, you can always send a postcard from that place with a handwritten note and attach that to your letter.
Another thing you can do is attach a little gift to your letter. When your partner receives both the letter and the gift, they will associate their physical gift with all the emotion that you’ve put into the letter, making it all even more meaningful.
For example, you could send them one of the promise couple’s rings, a keyring or a necklace. You can choose anything you like out of hundreds of gifts designed for long-distance relationships.
How Do You Express Love in a Letter?
Sending a handwritten letter to your long-distance relationship partner is a great opportunity to express your love and your feelings for them. It’s a lot more personal than sending a text message. It’s also more tangible than talking on the phone or through a video call.
You can even attach a photo or a gift to your letter to give it a little bit more of a physical presence.
One way to express love in a letter to your long-distance partner is to write about your feelings. People tend to say that their partner makes them feel in a certain way. A healthier way would be to express your feelings without making them the responsibility of your long-distance partner.
Take a look at this article for a deeper dive into communication in a long-distance relationship.
You could say that you feel a certain way, Knowing that you always have someone to talk to, to share your thoughts and feelings, talk about interesting things, and to feel connection, fulfilment, and understanding.
I would suggest avoiding to write negative things and about being in a long-distance relationship. It’s okay to express that you may feel sad or frustrated or impatient. Negative feelings and troublesome comments are better left for the video call conversations.
When you’re in the video call your partner gets a chance to respond to the issues and problems and you can have a conversation to find a solution towards what’s bothering you and make it all better.
When you’re writing a letter to your long-distance relationship partner, they will be reading it by themselves. They will absorb all the information with a lot of passion. So, make sure that they are absorbing good vibes instead of bad ones.
If you would like to improve communication with your long-distance partner, check out this workbook.
Long-Distance Relationship Break up Letter
Sometimes your long-distance relationship may not work out for some reason. Maybe your feelings have changed maybe their distance isn’t working for you.
Usually, a break up comes as a result of misunderstandings, arguments, or another emotional discontent. Everything may seem perfect for one partner, but suddenly the other partner decides to break up.
Occasionally it does happen that one partner isn’t seeing problems and isn’t expecting a breakup. Receiving a letter telling you that your long-distance partner is breaking up with you can be a big blow.
One of the reasons I wouldn’t suggest doing it is because when your partner receives a letter, they are alone and you are not there to hear them out.
Instead of breaking up through a letter, I would suggest having a video call to talk about things that you like and dislike in this long-distance relationship.
Many breakups happen unilaterally. One partner decides they no longer want to be in a relationship, and then they inform their partner about it. This isn’t a good way to break up with someone you once loved. Don’t do it!
Ending a long-distance relationship should be as mutual as creating one. When you started your relationship you didn’t just come up to somebody and said now we’re in the relationship. That sounds ridiculous, right? Well, breaking up unilaterally is just as ridiculous as that.
You started a relationship with this person because you felt something for each other and you wanted to be together. You had a certain degree of trust and understanding, or at least you believed you did. Until you are separated you should maintain this respect for each other.
The way you do it is by sharing your thoughts and feelings with each other and not by deciding on your own.
When you approach your partner expressing your feelings and desires, they won’t feel alone and helpless and hopeless, like they would if you were to just break up with them over a letter.
If you express your feelings, thoughts and desires to your partner, you can talk about them to see if things can change. If you don’t find a way to fix a long-distance relationship, then you may choose to end it. But the decision will be equally yours and hers. Breaking up this way will give your partner the understanding they need as to what has gone wrong. Knowing this, they will be able to create a more healthy relationship with their next partner.
Long-Distance Relationship Letter Ideas
Another beautiful thing about the written letter is that it is something tangible. When your partner receives a letter from you is like receiving a present. Then opening the letter is like and the unwrapping of a present. Reading a letter is an experience a lot more emotional and personal.
And the best thing about a written letter is that you can keep it somewhere always to remind you that your long-distance partner is thinking about you.
Written letters aren’t very common these days, so when you send one, it makes it all the more special.
If you aren’t used to writing letters, it might feel a little bit strange in the beginning. You might be asking yourself why would you do it, thinking is just an extra hassle. If these doubts gripping your mind, remind yourself that all the effort that you’re making will be recognised and appreciated by your long-distance partner.
If you care about them, your relationship, and maintaining the connection with your long-distance partner, you would be more than happy to make all the effort you can do to achieve this.
If you find yourself resistant to spending this effort, then you might want to re-evaluate your long-distance relationship. It could be a sign that you’re not really interested in being with this person in a long-distance relationship. And if this is the case, you really should understand why you’re doing it if you’re not really feeling it.
But if you’re happy to write a letter to your long-distance partner, then it’s worth taking a little bit more time and doing it properly.
When you’re in a long-distance relationship and you don’t have an opportunity to see your partner as much as you like, tangible things have a lot of value. One of the main problems in long-distance relationships is the lack of physical closeness.
So having something you can touch and feel that is from your long-distance partner can mean a lot. It can give a sense of physical connection. Of course, it doesn’t compare to physical intimacy and actually physically touching your long-distance partner, but is the next best thing.
There are other ways you can feel a little bit more physically close to each other while in a long-distance relationship. One of the ways is sending your long-distance partner letter, as we discussed in this article. Otherwise, you can feel connected is through sending each other gifts, care packages, or even interactive underwear.
How Healthy Is Your Long-Distance Relationship?
If you are having doubts about your long-distance relationship and are not sure if you should try to fix it or let it go, here is our step by step guide to help you and your partner reassess your relationship and make an educated decision that works for both of you.
Relationship Coaching for Long-Distance Couples
Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain without knowing exactly what they involve.
However, once you understand what long-distance relationships are, what they are not and how to navigate them, you are a lot more likely to make it work.
We specialise in helping long-distance couples create and maintain a healthy relationship by building intimacy, trust and effective communication.
If you are starting a long-distance relationship or are already in one, send us a message to book an individual coaching session for yourself or a couples coaching session for you and your partner.
Frequently Asked Questions
How to write a long-distance relationship letter?
A handwritten letter contains an introduction, a content and an ending, pretty much like any other type of writing. The main thing to consider is the message you want to deliver, express your thoughts and feelings and make it all flow like a story.
How do you express love in a letter?
Sending a handwritten letter to your long-distance relationship partner is a great opportunity to express your love and your feelings for them.
Are break up letters good?
You shouldn’t break up with your long-distance partner over a letter, a text or a phone call. A better option is to discuss what is bothering you over a video call. And if you can’t sort it out, then you can decide together to end your long-distance relationship.
How do you write a breakup letter to someone you love?
It’s not a good idea to write a breakup letter. If you love the person, you should talk to them about your feelings, needs, and desires.