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You may be having some problems in your relationship or you would like to know more about them so you can avoid them later on.
Many relationship problems come from misunderstandings. A healthy relationship requires good communication and the willingness to face problems together. Working through issues in a loving way can strengthen your relationship. It can help you develop a deeper and a more meaningful connection. Ignoring the problems can make your relationship toxic and may result in a break up.
In this article, you will learn about common relationship problems, their causes and how they affect your relationship. So, let’s dive right in…
Common Causes of Relationship Problems
The most common causes of problems in a romantic relationship are:
- Bad communication
- Personal issues like fears and insecurities
- Lack of feelings
- Lack of willingness of wanting to make your relationship work
- Lack of physical intimacy
- Lack of emotional connection
- Failure to set boundaries
- Having different goals
- False or unrealistic expectations
- Compromising and sacrificing instead of finding a way that works for everyone
- Wanting different things
- Routine (you end up doing the same things and your relationship becomes boring)
- Different sexual needs
How Relationship Problems Affect You and Your Relationship
Every relationship has problems. However, when these problems are unresolved they accumulate. And, create a toxic environment that hold you back in life physically and emotionally.
Long-lasting problems become part of the relationship and are seen as normal. Underneath this normality, problems can make your relationship increasingly toxic and unbearable. The only thing that keeps it going is your tolerance and fear of making changes.
You get used to the relationship being this way and consider it normal. You start convincing yourself that this is ok, and this is how relationships are. In doing so, you are ignoring your true feelings and preferences. You create unfulfilled needs that will breed resentment and create further problems.
Let’s have a look at the signs that you are having unresolved problems in your relationship.
Common Relationship Problems
- Moving in
- Living together
If you don’t have effective communication, it can lead to problems. Unresolved problems can lead to resentment. Growing resentment creates many more issues and can weaken your emotional connection.
All of this can happen silently, unless you talk about the doubts, worries and concerns you have at the moment they arise.
The only way to break from this cycle of blame and resentment is to talk about your thoughts and feelings openly and honestly with your partner. Otherwise, this blame will spark resentment and make your relationship toxic.
Effective communication will help you avoid problems and allow you to have a healthy and loving relationship.
Here are some common communication problems in a relationship:
- Not listening
- Not expressing yourself clearly
- Not sharing your feelings which can get on the way of emotional connection.
- Saying things that don’t make sense to the other person
- Short cuts and grammar mistakes in texting can lead to confusion.
- Talking too much or not enough.
- Not talking about meaningful things that matter.
- Not taking the time to hear the other person’s point of view.
Many people think that intimacy is sex. While physical intimacy does involve sex, intimacy as a whole is created with trust and a connection between two partners.
A healthy relationship needs a balance of physical and emotional intimacy. Physical intimacy is closeness, touching, kissing, sex. Emotional intimacy is the feeling of connection to your partner.
Intimacy issues in a relationship are very common. The moment you lose interest in your partner, your intimacy fades and your relationship starts falling apart.
To make a relationship more intimate, you need to improve your communication. Expressing openly and freely with each other will improve your relationship. Talking about your feelings, sharing your thoughts and ideas hep to build trust and make your relationship stronger.
Doing more activities together. Planning fun, exciting and spontaneous dates will bring the spark back to your relationship
Trust in a relationship becomes an issue when you are preoccupied continuously about what your partner is up to.
Trust issues become a problem when either you or partner don’t feel free to express yourselves openly. This distrust can breed other negative emotions like anger, frustration and sadness. They can slowly destroy relationship.
Trust issues can be a problem in your relationship. You may be facing a lot of doubts and uncertainties. They range from not knowing what your partner is doing and with whom to whether or not your relationship have a future.
The best way to deal with these doubts and insecurities is to express them to your partner openly. Once they are out in the open, they no longer have power over you.
Furthermore, by sharing things that bother you with your partner, you are welcoming your partners help. Your partner can reassure you or to help you resolve the issues that may go unnoticed in your relationship.
4. Moving in
Moving in together can be very challenging, but at the same time exhilarating.
Let’s say you have been with your partner for quite a while. You share common interests, and have common goals. So, you’ve got to know each other well enough that you decide to move in together.
When you move in together, after being in a relationship for some time, your personal dynamic will change. You will have less time and less space to do things you enjoy.
The best thing to do is to take your time and get to know each other. Let your relationship develop naturally. You will know if this is the right person and when is the right time to move in together.
5. Living together
When you start a relationship, you should give yourself a couple of months to get to know each other. You can spend several months dating, going on holidays to different places together.
After that, you should have a good idea if your relationship is serious and whether or not you’d like to take it to the next stage. You don’t need to rush towards a serious relationship and to live together.
You need to consider that living together changes the dynamic of your relationship. There is a risk that your relationship can take over your personal life and get in the way of achieving your life goals. This is where you need to find a balance between you, your partner and your relationship.
A relationship can also help you achieve your life goals and share quality time with your partner. You have better chances of having a successful relationship when living together if you prepare for it while you are getting to know each other. So, you can agree on certain boundaries that will help you navigate the changes of living together.
Before you move in together discuss things you like and don’t like, and make a plan to handle any issues or problems that you may face when living together. Another thing you can do is move in together for a short while, a couple of weeks, to see what it’s like living together.
Other Relationship Problems
- Losing interest
- Trust issues
- After baby
- One sided
- Sexual frustration
- Holding back
Signs of Problems in a Relationship
Signs and Red Flags of an Unhealthy Relationship
- Your relationship doesn’t have a direction
- You feel sad and frustrated more often than happy and fulfilled
- You or your partner are jealous and insecure for no reason
- You or your partner want to be with other people but feeling forced and obligated to stay in this relationship
- You are spending too much time with your partner and feel you are compromising your personal life.
Signs of Unresolved Problems in Your Relationship
- Feeling ignored
- Feeling sad, down, and unenthusiastic
- Apathetic about other areas in your life
- Angry with others
Signs of a Failing Relationship
- Constant arguments
- Feeling fed up
- No physical intimacy
- Feeling annoyed with your partner for no specific reason (just because they are present)
How to Deal with Problems in a Relationship
- Talk (work on your communication)
- Go to couples therapy/couples coaching
- Reassess your relationship (personal goals, relationship goals and expectations)
To deal with relationship problems you have to understand the root of your problems, what’s causing them. If your relationship is failing you need to know why.
Effective communication is a must for keeping an emotional connection. If your relationship is serious you can make a plan and a timeline about what you are expecting for your relationship and when it is going to happen.
Healthy and successful relationships are possible as long as your communication and understanding are tip-top.
How To Fix Relationship Problems
- Figure out what is not working in your relationship
- Write down your thoughts and feelings on different aspects of your relationship
- Share your feelings, thoughts, and concerns with your partner
- Allow your partner the time to reflect on what you said
- Take time to listen to your partner’s feelings, thoughts, doubts, and concerns
- Discuss your issues with your partner
- Together with your partner, you can find a solution that works for both of you and your relationship
Ending Your Relationship
After you identify the problems in your relationship you may be able to fix these problems yourself or get a relationship coach to help you. That said, in some cases, it can be best for both partners to end the relationship or at least have a short break.
Here are five steps to help you decide if ending your long-distance relationship is the right thing to do:
- Acknowledge your feelings
- Share your feelings with your partner
- Ask your partner how they feel about your relationship
- Share your worries and concerns
- Together, make a decision that works for both of you
How Do You Know When It Is time to End a Relationship?
It’s hard to pinpoint the exact moment when it’s time to let go of your relationship. When relationships don’t work, they tend to deteriorate over time. One moment you are happy and in love and the next you are in a relationship full of arguments. At this point, you can either try to fix your relationship or let it go and move on.
But, it’s not easy to let go of someone with whom you shared a part of your life. So, you may stay together, even when your relationship doesn’t work.
You might try to make your relationship work even if you are not feeling it any more. Maybe, you are afraid of being alone or don’t know how to deal with the void that your partner will leave in your life.
If your feelings change, express them to your partner and make a decision together.
If you’ve had enough and just want to break up, there’s a right and the wrong way to do it.
If the problems in your relationship are beyond solving and your relationship is beyond repair it can be best for both of you to end it.
In a nutshell, it’s time to let go of your relationship when it no longer contributes to your life and well-being.
In this article, we have explored the most common problems in a romantic relationship. Their causes and how they may affect you relationship.
Most problems stem from bad communication that leads to misunderstandings. Lack of physical intimacy which leads to unfulfilled sexual needs. And, lack of planning that leads to a relationship without direction.
When you take care of these three aspects of your relationship, you greatly increase the chances of enjoying life with your partner. Healthy and successful relationships are possible as long as your communication and understanding are tip-top.
Now, that you are familiar with the most common relationship problems and the different options to fix them. You no longer need to be the victim of circumstances. Now, you have the tools to identify and address these problems and create a healthy and loving relationship.
Getting Help with Problems in Your Relationship
Tips on How to Deal with Problems in Your Relationship
- Work on your communication
- Take time to formulate your messages so that they are easy to understand
- Take time to listen to your partner and hear what they want to share with you
- If you have any doubts or insecurities or your feelings change, try to share them with your partner as soon as you become aware that they exist
- Make your relationship more spontaneous, fun, and exciting
- If you find that your relationship became a struggle rather than enjoyment, reassess your relationship with your partner
You should learn to listen to your long-distance partner. It’s very likely that they also have doubts and insecurities about themselves or the relationship.
Be there for your partner to help them, open up and support them through their journey of self-discovery. The better your partner understands themselves, the more love, romance, joy and happiness they can bring into your relationship.
If you need professional help and advice, get in touch and we’ll be happy to help!
Frequently Asked Questions
Can a bad relationship be saved?
A bad relationship can be saved if both partners have the understanding, willingness, and resources to fix it.
What are the four things that kill relationships?
1. Lack of understanding due to not knowing how to express yourself and hear each other
2. Unfulfilled sexual needs
3. Lack of interest and excitement
4. Financial issues
What are normal problems in a relationship?
Just because most couples experience similar problems doesn’t mean that you have to have these problems in your relationship. As long as both of you work on your personal development and continuously build trust and understanding, you can have a healthy relationship.
Does every relationship have problems?
In any relationship you can expect to have problems and challenges. But, it is up to you, your willingness, skill and ability to resolve these problems that define how they impact your relationship.
How do you fix problems in a relationship?
First of all identify how you are feeling and what unfulfilled needs you currently have. Once you know that, you can share your feelings and concerns with your partner. So, that both of you try to understand the cause of the problem and find a solution.
Who to talk to about relationship problems?
A relationship coach can understand you individually as well as the dynamic of your relationship. A good coach can help you identify the causes of your problems and offer different ways to address them. With our coaching you get a new perspective on your situation. An impartial advice that will help you to make a more educated decision that works for you and your partner.